Chapter 2

Owls Bearing Bad Tidings

The same week at Grimauld 12.

"Ron, pumpkin, I would like to wait a couple more years. I am not in a hurry to marry. Look at Harry, he isn't either; he told Ginny that he'd like to wait until he is a little further in his career." She avoided his eyes.

She was lying, Harry had been dating someone else on the side, a Slytherin no less, but he had refused to disclose her name. Harry's wedding plans had exited from the love expressway, and re-entered in another exit marked with a snake.

"But Mimi, I don't want to wait, you said when you graduated from your Muggle whatever, you would think about it. It has been five years, and you are not getting any younger to have children. First the Muggle whatever, then the Amigos venture, and now even longer?" Ron foolishly stated.

Hermione did not even want to acknowledge such silliness, it was too much effort. At several months shy of her 24th birthday, she hardly considered herself over the hill. Besides, she did not want to end up being a baby machine just like Molly. She just needed to figure out how to break the Wilbur deal as well, she still had a few days.

Molly, bless her heart, she had not been the same since Fred's war injury. It pained her to see her disabled son. He laughed like nothing had really changed, and often said that he was only too happy that his Little Fred still worked. He had lost one of his legs above the knee. And now was able to walk and run with an advanced prosthesis. It had been made to order and donated by Malfoy industries. All the war injured prosthetics had had been produced by their new Division headed by Draco.

Molly wanted her children all married, including Fred, who wasn't in a hurry. Hermione knew that the injury really had affected him mentally, and he had cursed her more than once for saving him. Same as Remus, who had lost one of his eyes, and the partial use of one of his hands, and even worse, he had lost Tonks.

He had finally started taking care of little Teddy and things were better with him. Funny, he was now seeing Hermione's mother, who did not seem to care about his furry problem. Both Teddy and he now lived in the large home that had been in her mother's family for at least one hundred years. Strangely, she used to think the home had been Uplotted, but nah, it couldn't be.

Her mother was rather well off with her investments on Happy Kittens, and Remus deserved the life he was living now. Though once in a while she had caught him looking at old pictures and looking forlorn. Even stranger, he would hide them when she came in. Why not share his pictures with Tonks, whatever.

By the way, she needed to tell her mother she was getting a little chubby. She should watch it, at her advanced age of forty-three the weight would keep. Hmm, funny how her boobs had gotten so big, she needed to tell her tomorrow at the dinner party. Her mother, hmm, she also had a secret stash, a shoe box that she kept in a safe secured with state of the art security systems. She had tried to crack the safe open without luck. Whatever, it was all her imagination, Remus and her mother were as vanilla as they came. Her mother, hmm, she better hold on to Remus now that she was so old.

Now, sex with Ron was not what she expected. She had read a lot, and was almost sure that she never had an orgasm. Viktor had sought her, but he had seen too many horrors, and losing his brother had taken a toll on him. He was depressed all of the time, and he played the field a little too much.

Right now, she wanted time for herself and to enjoy life. As her mother had told her, there was enough time. She still had not told Ron that her mother at 43 was pregnant with Remus baby, It would not go over well. Ah, yes, she was not chubby, it was the baby, she smiled. Her mother just told her, and she kept forgetting. It was a secret until tomorrow when they were announcing their wedding at the end of the month. Remus was very happy; back to Ron he was waiting for an answer.

"Ron, this is not a good time. I am just getting started at the Ministry, and as you know I want to start my own firm, and I have been talking to Pucey and Blaise. They all worked for others and want to fly solo. And I also have the investments at the Happy Kittens, same as you. By the way, twenty four is not getting too old to have children." She added.

"Easy for you to have that attitude, I need a wife, the Cannons travel all the time, and I am getting tired of sleeping in hotel beds, all alone half of the year. You don't need to work as you well stated it. You have your share of the Kittens, and, probably, soon you will be working there full time, you don't need your own firm. Even Greg Goyle the new security chief is marrying Susan, and she will also be working for them. Everyone is getting married." He whined and complained.

"Not everyone, wait, an owl. That is strange, it is one of those new owls with two carrying tubes."

She opened the owl window, and let the Ministry Owl, it was one of them, so he sat on the owl perch, and she fed it some of the mouse flour biscuits. All owls loved them, she bought them at the new bakery opened at the under-renovation Knockturn Alley. It was operated by Maxime Hagrid, "Magic treats for Magic pets."

As she read the message, she stood up, flung the scroll aiming for the rubbish bin, and screamed, "FUDGE IS A DIRTY PIG, DIRTY DOG, FUDGE HIM."

Ron appeared confused, Fudge, was it from Fudge? He no longer was at the Ministry. At that moment, the Floo was activated. It was Harry, and he seemed very angry, "FUCK- FUCKING FUDGE, excuse me Mimi, FUDGING FUDGE." Now Ron was utterly confused. He had not seen the tube laying on the table for looking at the screaming Hermione; she looked like a wraith when she got mad, that was something he disliked about her; better put, he was afraid of her when she was so angry.

Harry had a scroll in his hand. He saw the other owl who was looking cool and detached. The magic barn owl could care less about the humans; it had seen some of the same drama for the last hours. The owl was keeping an eye for hexes on his direction; it paid to protect your feathers and your family jewels. Osco a friend from his young chick days, had one of his nuts hexed by an angry witch just an hour ago.

"Shit, shit, and shit. Fuck them all, fuck everyone." Harry yelled.

"Yes, fudge, dammed Fudge, fudge everyone." Hermione replied,

"Ah, I get it," it was Ron's idiotic response, "ingenious, you replace fuck with fudge; changing sweets for shagging, I like that word, very clever." Both Hermione and Harry gave him killer looks.

"Imbecile," the two angry members of the golden-trio muttered. When the angry duo had gone Ron the left over scroll, it was addressed to him. He shrugged his shoulders, it was probably a hoax.

At the Manor later that day

"Draky, love, you have an important owl from the Ministry. It is one of those new things you need to sign. We tried pushing him back, but it would not move. You need to read the scroll because it would not open for us. We were not able to sign it, sorry love, you do it, you need to read it. You need to eat alone tonight because we are on our way for a dinner date, goodnight."

Draco heard the Floo's distinctive sound, just in time for his scream to be heard through the Manor as he read the scroll.

"Mother, Father, Wait, HELP!" Draco ran to the Floo. Two wickedly smiling parents, dressed in leather for a night of clubbing had dashed to destination unknown.

He screamed for Mipzy. "My parents, tell me, where did they go?"

"I is a house-elf, don't cares, don't knows." She knew better and with a pop she vanished, she knew better, Master Draco was throwing a fit and nobody was safe.

The owl was hooting, he was demanding his signature, Draco pulled out his wand and casted a mild-stinging- hex toward the owl's tail. "Fucking owl, fucking Fudge, fucking Mipzy," and he dropped on the floor with his head between his legs.

Malfoy Manor's Guest House

Theo went to the owl window, and there, oh YEAH, the blessed Owl. The owl was leery after delivering several of the mails today. The last arse had zinged his tail, a twit with white hair just yonder, so when Theo gave him a large biscuit in the shape of a mouse, the owl took it with reluctance, hmm it was yummy, a hazard job bonus.

Theo opened his tube, did a little victory dance and then broke out in joyous screams. No sense in delaying the sweet torture, he was going to fix the wedding date today. However, after he got ready, blood curling screams drifted into the guest house. Better idea, go for a beer and turn in early. He did not want to face an angry witch tonight, or an angry Draco, no, not a good idea.

Next Day- Peewee and Mr. Porcupine

After a nightmare night, he woke up to his mother, "Draky there are two Aurors to see you, something about your injuring Ministry property and failing to sign mandatory documents."

"I will not sign, I rather go to prison." Draco answered.

"No, you sign here and be done with whatever it is. We will resolve whatever together. We are a family, and we unite in our problems. Now sign here and be done, I will tell them you are sick." Draco didn't know he was the only on having to sign, it was promising to release the Ministry.

Draco resigned himself to sign and did so. "Please come back, or I will come down, we need to talk." He called his mother before she closed his bedroom door.

Outside of the room, Lucius was waiting still on his night clothes, Narcissa ran to him and kissed his lips a little too long, "You are a genius, we are in," they walked together to the Owlery and tied the tube to the Owl that Fudge Jr had sent for the scroll.

There were no Aurors, it was all made up. Then they ran to the room to continue to try the last of the 'spice your marriage bed, curry hot tips' by Cherry-Pop. They blocked Draco out their room, why ruin a good time.

Draco was fuming his mother never came back, and their bedroom was locked. What was up with them?

At the office.

Theo was waiting for him at the office, he was elated but had to put a face to pretend otherwise.

"Dray, did you get the –"

"I fucking did. The outrage, I need you to get Pucey here at once." Draco looked as if someone had just cut off his balls. Oops, and Theo was dying to share his news. He was bursting to let him know his good news, a blond fairy with curves that wouldn't quit was in his future, oh well.

Selma his secretary, a Finnish witch, a pretty blond with large blue eyes, came in looking frazzled, her robes were scorched, and she was shaking.

"Sir, I told her she couldn't..." and ran in the other direction, right before a small magic tornado, full of angry twisting winds approached Draco's office. "Run, sir, run for your life." That is what she did, horror painted on her doll's face.

The tornado in question was Hermione, the nasty swot from Hogwards, the peewee with bad hair, ugly shoes, and bad attitude. Or at least that was the way she looked at the trials when she had saved all their Pureblood bums. She was a rude hoyden, a true termagant who would be raising Kneazles, and doing needle lace for entertainment until she died. He just plain hated her arse, if she had any. She was a witch-boy, tiny, plain, and zero curves.

"Where is that albino cockroach hiding?" Where the words that preceded her and right behind her, "Hermi, love, he is not worth it, let's go and talk to Kingsley again," it was Potty running after the muddy tornado.

"Nincompoop, are you deaf? Kingsley already said it is needed, we all need to help. But have you noticed how he is not helping. Did he get a letter, of course not, he has his candy on the side, more like seven pieces. You, my dear slug, you also have been speared, yup, we are two shrimps ready for the BBQ, so quit being a prissy old maid and let me go."

That was the reason for the struggle right outside Draco's office. No today, he had promptly pulled out his wand, ready to get rid of the nuisance.

Theo was smarter, he ducked behind the massive couch and just peered from a fairly safe position.

"Miss, Miss, stop or, "plink, plunk, plink," more casualties, three additional bodies to the ground, the floor security wizards.

And just then, two people came in stumbling inside of Draco's office. Draco stood in place, his wand fell to the floor. His eyes were busy cataloging.

Phew, who is the siren…she is dressed in what appears to be a thin-see-through-batiste summer dress, mid thigh, shoulders bare, knee length trousers, ripped in a few strategic places, phew…the hair is tied in an elaborated twist, with clips that looked like small hands, but not very neat, fucking bedroom tresses... with sexy red short toeless booties with silver coins around them, displaying small toes painted blood red, little candy pieces..and a narrow bolero cover held by extra narrow straps enhancing the nicest, tastiest of tits.

Holly fuck! She is hot, who is this witch, phew. His cock stood on attention, his mouth was bone dry, I want her in my bed tonight…no, tonight is too far away, bend her over my desk.

Darn, thought Theo, I should have volunteer for that, hell with Luna. I wonder if I can say there was a mistake. Is that Muddy? Come on Theo volunteer, say it…

Draco kept waiting for the messy swot, when it finally downed on him, Hmm, well, well, well, she is not too bad, but she was the hated bane of his Hogwarts existence. The ugly, well no longer ugly, Hermione Granger, she probably had influenced Kingsley, no she could not have. She would not be angry, and she was ready to hex him out the map. Maybe he needed to reconsider his position.

What was his position? His blood all had gone south, and he was wondering why had he opposed the law. Silly foolish me... Shit, I am ready for honeymoon city, his body parts agreed with him. He stood there and licked his bottom lip, he was drooling…yeah, I'm drooling in more than one place…his mind had turned into a virtual porno sewer.

She hated Draco, she had seen him more than once with the anorexic Slytherin trash who was after married Bill. Bill had changed one hundred percent since he had hooked up with Draco's witch. Fleur was pregnant with their second child, and he left her crying whenever Greengrass came after him. Hermione ended up hugging the broken hearted witch, every time, some times until early morning.

She appraised Draco with a cold eye. Yup, he still looked like a stuffed penguin. "You, you, did you pay something to someone just to annoy me? I am telling you only once, your fudgy company made these surveys, you rigged them. Why me? Tell Fudge the tests are worthless and let's go; by the way, you still look like a stuffed penguin."

He couldn't believe his ears, what was she saying? He was starting to remember why he'd hated her. Tell that to his cock, apparently it was liking her angry display. Yup, I want that ball of fire on my bed, preferably soon, tomorrow, maybe a quick hand fasting later today, I will owl mother in a bit…his mind still going a mile a minute and his fingers wanted to reach and touch the goodies…

She'd jumped in front of Draco and poked his chest as she spoke.

"You witch from hell quit pocking me." Draco pushed her slightly to get her to back up. What firm body, hmm, his hand stayed on her shoulder, shit what soft skin.

"Don't hit me, you coward, you white ferret, you premature balding cockroach, you albino sewer rat..."

"I am not hitting just, whatever, and I am not balding, it is my new hair style, see, see." And he passed his hand by the neatly combed hair looking like a porcupine.. "I would not pay one sickle to tie my name to yours, nasty bookworm. Besides I don't know what the hell you are talking about."

"Does a cheque paid you by the MoM for 133,255.00 Galleons, for a 'population, data-analysis' ring a bell, eh brain giant?"

She pulled out her wand in a dueling stand, chest tight, legs spread a little, muscles outlined, holy cow, Draco's mind kept assessing his now fiancée.

"Prepare to meet your maker Mr. Porcupine."

A/N Hmm, I guess Draco might be in, but Hermione? I like this Hermione, take no prisoners. Hint: Read between the lines.