Chapter 22:
Michonne woke with a headache, and laid in bed for most of the morning, until the throbbing pain subsided.
She couldn't explain the combination of emotions she felt, all she knew was that it could be summed up to defeat. She had done everything in her power to keep the peace and protect her friend, but she felt as if it was all for nothing. Rick wanted to kill Negan, and she knew it was only a matter of time before her friend did something to give him the opportunity, despite her hopes.
Her relationship with Rick was another thing that came into question after the previous night's events. She hated having to argue with him, and she wished he wasn't so hard headed, although she couldn't deny he had been complacent when it came to their set up with Negan. Rick was quite obviously at the end of his tether, but for him to use his status as leader against her wasn't a nice feeling at all.
It was early in the afternoon when she heard a light tapping at her front door, and she would have expected it to be Carl, as Rick was much more heavy handed, but to her surprise, it was a resident she was unfamiliar with.
"I'm Carol", The grey haired woman smiled, holding out her hand.
"Michonne. Nice to meet you", Michonne shook her hand firmly, not entirely sure what to expect from the woman's visit.
"I bake, and I made some cookies", She held up the box of topple ware, "I usually hand them out when I can…"
Michonne took the box, "Wow, thanks"
"So how are you settling in here? I imagine it's a lot different than the Sanctuary?"
"It's nice. Everyone has been very welcoming…"
"That's great to hear. I imagine it's been strange…Living here, keeping an eye on your partner that's locked up..."
Michonne leaned against the door frame, "Something like that"
"I've actually been with Rick and the others since the beginning…", The woman sighed, crossing her arms over her chest, "I've seen that man go through a lot… we've lost a lot of people, and I've seen it all rip him apart, he was a shell of a man at one stage… the person he is today is a testimony to what's he's been through, because he's been up against some really, really bad people…"
Michonne watched Carol carefully as she spoke, feeling uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation, "Right…"
"Which is why I was surprised that he agreed to let Negan live… we never took chances like that before. We couldn't afford to, so to see how's he's allowed Negan to live and stay here… it's almost out of character"
Michonne rose an eyebrow at the woman, "People change."
"You and I both know that's not the case. Not with Rick, anyway. He's gotten this far because he doesn't take risks"
"I'm sorry, but can I ask what the point of this conversation is?", Michonne quizzed, keeping her tone light.
"I heard about what happened yesterday", Carol tilted her head at her, "And the time before that. Things aren't working out as you planned with Negan, are they? The man's a psychopath-"
"It's early days-"
"You have two very similar men on opposite ends of the spectrum here. The good and the bad… and you're right in the middle-"
"Excuse me?"
"I'm not sure about you and Negan, but from what I've been told, you two are very close. You've always stood by his side, you've protected him… I'm sure at one point he was a likeable man, but I'm also very sure that the only person that genuinely cares about him is you… he probably knows that…", Carol tilted her head in the other direction, "Then there's Rick. I've never completely known the ins and outs of his relationships, but I know that when it comes to matters of the heart… he's all in. I figured he'd taken some liking to you when he decided he trusted you after you'd only been here for three minutes-"
"Your point?", She almost bit the words out of her mouth.
"You need to pick a side, before it gets messier. You're jumping up and down with that sword of yours to protect Negan, using the fact that he cares about you, that he can care about anyone, to ignore the other fact that he's evil and dangerous, and if this was before the turn he would have had multiple death sentences for what he's done. You need to realise that if anyone else gets hurt while tending to him, then you'd have to shoulder that blame too. He's alive because Rick won't kill him and Rick won't kill him because of you… I don't know if you think you owe him something, but if you do, I think that debt has been paid in full."
Michonne bit back a growl, no longer impressed or interested with her first conversation with Carol, "Well thank you for stopping by with some cookies and your opinion. I think I'll just take the cookies"
She stepped back and closed the door with a huff, completely caught off guard with the topic. Her situation with Rick and Negan was constantly on her mind to begin with, and if other residents felt like they needed to stop by to drop off their views on that matter, she would have to start opening the door with her sword in hand.
The way the grey haired woman spoke also told Michonne that Rick hadn't killed Negan in the night, and that her friend was still alive, which brought her some relief. She was still very angry with him after all.
Being cooped up in the house all day was not part of her plan, and so she decided to venture out of her home after stewing in annoyance.
The residents were scattered throughout the streets, going about their day with weapons in hand. She understood the need for everyone to be prepared for the unexpected, and it was something she agreed with Rick on, especially as they had a potential threat lurking in the distance.
She found herself stopping a few homes away from the home that housed Negan. It was unbeknownst to her why her legs seized to move all of a sudden, although she didn't completely dismiss the possibility that it had something to do with Rick's warning. She honestly felt like a naughty child trying not to make the same mistake twice, so she lifted her head up high and continued her stroll.
"Hey!"
Her foot hovered in the air for a second when she heard Rick's bark. She spun around to see him stomping towards her, "Yes?"
"What are you doing?", He asked in a stern tone when he was close enough.
"I'm going for a walk", She frowned, "Can I not do that now? Am I on house arrest too?"
"I told you, I don't want you near here"
"You can't ban me from the street, Rick. I wasn't going to try to sneak down there and see him-"
"Why'd you stop just then?", He tilted his head at her, "I saw you stop right there"
"...Because I just did", She answered vaguely.
He didn't budge.
She sighed as she crossed her arms, "Because I had a lot of my mind. That's all"
His eyes studied her closely, "Like what?"
"Are you going to try to use your title as leader to force me to tell you what's on my mind?"
His brows knitted together as his head reeled back an inch, "Is that what you think I'm doing here?"
She gave a little shrug of her shoulder, "I don't know, you tell me?"
He clenched his jaw as he shifted his stance, "Look, I'm not asking because of him. I'm asking because of you"
"Well the lines are kind of blurry right now, don't you think?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that just yesterday you were talking to me as 'Rick, the leader' and not 'Rick, my-'", She stopped herself, feeling foolish for sounding so immature.
"Go on", He urged, stepping closer to her, but she raised her hand to stop him.
"We aren't behind closed doors, Rick", She reminded, quickly peering around them.
"I don't give a damn, I wanna hear what you was going to say-"
"I don't want to talk about his right now, not right here"
"When then?"
She exhaled through her nose as she looked past him, spotting Carl walking with his sister in his arms, "I don't know, just not now. Carl's coming"
"Fine", He breathed, moving back to see his son, and creating a friendlier distance between the two of them, "You two alright?"
"Hey", Carl greeted, "Yeah, we were just taking a walk"
Michonne forced a smile on her face as she prepared to behave naturally, "Great. So was I"
Rick glanced at her before holding his hands out for his daughter, "You two go on, I'm gonna go drop her Carol for a little while"
Carl handed over the toddler, "Where are you going?"
"Up in the tower, I need to check out some of the walkers around here"
"Walkers? Why?"
"...We just saw a few strange ones last night, wanna see which direction they're coming from-"
"You think it has something to do with that other group?", She probed, giving the toddler a little wave back from her father's arms.
He looked in her direction, but not directly at her, "Don't know yet, but I'm trying to find out"
"...Alright".
Rick began to walk off in the other direction, cooing at his daughter in the process. Michonne forced herself to look away from his back as Carl joined her in her stroll.
"Bad day yesterday?", The teenager queried, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets.
"Yeah… just needed a timeout", She lied, squinting into the distance, "Thanks for coming out, but next time, don't. Please. I don't want you getting in trouble with your dad"
"He was actually pretty nice about it. I mean, he didn't yell or anything"
She snickered, "Good… Hey, I'm going to head out to the Sanctuary tomorrow and if Dwight hasn't cleared my room, I can bring back a few more books?"
"Yeah?... Can I come with you? Well, let me clear it with my dad first, but if he agrees, can I?"
She narrowed her eyes at him, "Only if you clear it with him"
"I will. Just you?"
"Daryl's coming with us. We wanted to check out a few places along the way"
"Cool. I actually wanted to see if I could get a few cups for Judith"
Michonne looked at him strangely, "Cups?"
"She loves cups… those big red ones… I don't know why but, she just does"
She frowned as she thought about it, but soon began to chuckle, "She's a natural born party girl, I guess"
It was Carl's turn to look at her strangely, "Because of a cup?"
"Oh… you were probably too young at the time. Everyone used to use those cups at parties and play games like, beer pong. I'll teach you when you're old enough-", she quickly stopped herself, "Don't tell your dad though"
The teenager chortled, "For the right price, my lips are sealed"
She released a little groan, "Fine. What?"
He tapped his chin with his finger, pretending to ponder, "How about your…. Black panther-"
"I knew you would say that!"
"I get it for a whole week"
"You can finish that in an hour! I know you can"
"I want to be able to read whenever I want for a whole week", the teen bargained.
Michonne feigned defeat, "Fine. A whole week"
"Yes", Carl grinned, while she rolled her eyes at him as she chuckled, glad to have the young boy there to brighten her mood.
The sound of rumbling metal caught their attention as the front gate opened, and Sasha and Abraham stepped out with knives in hand. A small group of walkers were heading towards them, and Michonne took her own dagger out, just in case. She and Carl watched them cut through the group easily, impaling the corpses in their rotting skulls, when Jessie appeared, running towards them with a machete in hand.
Her presence distracted Sasha, causing the walker in front of her to grab hold of her shoulders.
Abraham quickly stabbed the walker in his head, while Jessie struggled to remove her Machete from another's neck while it held her.
"Come on", Michonne nudged Carl, and the two of them sprinted over to the gate.
"Shit! Help!", Jessie cried, fighting to keep the Walker away from her. Carl got to her first, piercing the corpse in the back of its head.
Michonne would have preferred to have had her sword with her, but she would make do with the smaller weapon, grabbing hold of a reanimated woman by the neck and stabbing her in the side of the head.
"Get back inside!", Carl told Jessie, pulling her machete free.
"I'm okay now", The blonde panted, reaching for her weapon, but Carl held it away from her.
"No! You're going to get yourself hurt!"
A walker emerged behind Jessie, causing her to scream while Carl pushed her out the way, driving the machete through the walkers chin and out her head.
Abraham removed his knife from the last skull and turned to face them, "You heard the boy. Go. Now"
Jessie huffed as she shook her head, spinning on her heel and marching back inside the community.
Michonne put away her weapon, "Where are we putting them?"
"We need to load them up, drive 'em down the road and out the way", Sasha sighed as she rolled her shoulders, "I'll get the truck"
"Alright, let's do it".
Michonne wasn't sure why Jessie was determined to prove herself, but she did know that she didn't have any patience for stupidity. A small part of her wondered what her and Rick's relationship was like, as the two women were poor opposites, and she tried to imagine how he would have behaved towards Jessie. She soon decided not to think about it too much.
After piling the corpses on to the back of a pickup truck and driving down the street to dispose of them, they returned to Alexandria, where Rick opened the gates for them. She wasn't sure how he'd feel about Carl helping with the move, but he seemed fine with it when they exited the vehicle. She was going to go on with her day when Rick told her to meet him in the watchtower, stalking off before she had a chance to say anything else.
Michonne's discussion with Carol still played on her mind, especially knowing that the woman had sussed that Rick had taken a liking to her, so she wanted to act carefully, mainly for Carl's sake. The last thing she wanted was for the teenager to find out that something was going on between the two of them through gossip, so she waited exact five minutes before going up to the top of the tower to see Rick.
He had both hands at his sides, looking out the glassless window when she arrived, only turning to look at her when she leaned against the wall, "Are we going to talk about this now?"
She crossed her arms over her chest, "Go ahead"
He looked her from head to toe, "I want to know what you're thinking about everythan'..."
"You made your decision as a leader, and that's that-"
"You know what I mean", He grasped firmly.
"What else do you want me to say, Rick? I'm not going to beg for the key back to his cell-"
"That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you and me"
Her gaze dropped from his face, "...I don't know what to say about that…"
"What's that supposed to mean?", He tilted his head at her, taking the smallest step forward.
"It means, I don't know what to say about that. I told you that I think the lines have blurred-"
"Because I don't want you seeing him anymore?", He narrowed his eyes as he took another step closer, "You realise why that is right? All you have to do is look in the mirror to see that-"
"I know why, Rick", She almost bit out.
"If you know why, then I don't want to fight about this again"
There was a sincerity in his tone that appealed to her greatly, causing her expression to soften.
He planted himself in front of her, "I feel like we have somethan' special here. Somethan' I didn't think I'd find in a time like this, which means I'm willing to work harder for it. For you"
She felt as if her heart has crawled from her ribcage and up into her throat.
"What I wanna know is if you're want the same? If you feel the same? Because if you do then I'm glad, I'd be over the moon if we can take thangs seriously… but I need to know that he won't come before us. I don't wanna have to feel like I'm going up against you when it comes to him. I don't want him to come between us… so if we do this, then I don't want him apart of it. At all"
Carol's words ran through her mind for a countless time, and it dawned on her that it was true. In able to avoid any more tension between she and Rick, and subsequently she and Negan, she had to let one of them go.
She couldn't deny that her feelings for Rick grew with every passing day, and he could offer her the type of happiness that she didn't see as an option in the new world. The thought of taking their blossoming relationship seriously made her glow.
But the thought of sacrificing her friendship with Negan brought her great sorrow. She knew she was surrounded by people who didn't care for him, and wrote him off as every bad word imaginable, but she knew what she knew about Negan, and that would never change.
Her fingers found the pendant that hung from her necklace, and she toyed with it as she looked up at Rick. He barely blinked, his steely blue gaze was glued to her and he could tell by the look in his eyes that he was apprehensive about her answer.
She exhaled through her nose, removing her fingers from the pendant, "...I want the same"
Within the blink of an eye his hands found her hips and his lips pressed against hers. His kiss snatched the breath from her lungs, and her knees almost buckled from the intensity. She could tell by his grip that the man wanted to ravish her and she would have let him, if her heart didn't ache in her chest. He pulled back an inch to look at her, his eyes roaming her face as the tip of his nose brushed hers.
"...Just us..."
…
A/N: I have to thank Gabbyrock for taking the time out to message me a brilliant idea for this fic. Hope you liked the way I incorporated your input! xo