Month Seven
"I feel sick." April groaned, dropping into the empty seat besides Alex.
"Pfft." He snorted, noting her arrival with notable distain. "Join the club."
"What's your problem?" She asked, narked by Alex's tone. It was hard not to also take a moment's peak at what was happening in the OR below. Damn! She silently cursed to herself.
"Oh nothing." Alex replied, rolling his eyes and readjusting his arms across the chest. He had a real way of riling April when he wanted to. He thrived from knowing she wouldn't settle until she got the right answer. He was spoiling for it today.
"Clearly something, or someone, has annoyed you." She told him knowingly. It was as though she didn't know already, but she did. It was the talk of the hospital, of course he knew. It was clearly the reason he was trying to remain so nonchalant.
"I'm guessing you're a little pissed about the whole surgery thing, you know… with Catherine Avery." She pushed, knowing him enough to know he would eventually snap. Why was she so intent on goading him? It wasn't to make him jealous, as would normally be the case. There wasn't any worse way she could have been spending her afternoon, in her opinion. Yes, Catherine had invited her to participate in a pretty radical surgery but why couldn't she help but think, it was just another way to get under her daughter-in-law's skin.? Pushing Alex in this was sort of helping to take her mind off what was happening. Watching his mouth twitch, she knew she had pushed his buttons.
"It's not the surgery I'm pissed at." He said matter of factly, continuing to watch the scene unfolding beneath them. "It's the principal."
"And what do you mean by that?" She asked confused. It was clear he was unhappy but she clearly did understand exactly what he had meant by his reply. The principal?
"It's nothing." He pouted, fiddling mindlessly with the tassels on his scrubs as they descended into silence for a moment or two.
"No… tell me." She demanded, eager to know just exactly why her friend was giving her the cold shoulder. They weren't close, by any standards, in fact Alex found April incredibly annoying and April thought Alex was a self-indulged know it all, but they were friends… on a sort of level.
Alex sighed, sitting up a little straighter in his chair and turned his head a little to capture April in his vision. "It's just unfair that's all. Everyone here has these family ties with amazing surgeons and visionaries in medicine… and I have nothing like that. I was a trash can kid."
"I didn't grow up in a fifteen bed mansion you know." April retorted, raising her eyebrow.
"No! But you married a man who did! Forgodsake April, you're an Avery now… and Meredith grew up with Ellis Grey as a mom, who happens to now be married to Derek freaking Shepard! And don't even get me started on how many famous surgeons Christina has charmed into her pants!"
"I'm gonna puke." She cut across suddenly. Damn! He was right. She was an Avery now, part of one of the biggest names in medicine... Crap!
Leaning forward in her chair, she tried to fit her head between her knees, breathing in slow and steady. She had used the manoeuvre some many times as a kid to calm her nerves. Why wasn't it working now?
"I don't get how you can be freaking out about this." Alex told her.
"Seriously?" April asked, a clear sarcastic tone evident in her words.
Alex arched an eyebrow in concern but choosing to reply. "Although it annoys me… the whole family thing you got going on… it's pretty cool, in a weird way."
"Jeez Alex, thanks." April retorted, easing herself into a more seated position as she too took in the scene below, from where they sat in the gallery. "I feel much better."
"April," He snorted, sensing the distain in her tone. "It could be worse… It is actually strangely cool. You're part of the Avery family, with Catherine as your mother-in-law, who is actually a kick ass surgeon and Webber, the Chief of surgery as your sort of father-in-law. And… you're married to man with awesome genes… if I do say so myself."
April rolled her eyes. "You make it all sound so... lovely."
Alex offered a small laugh before taking to his feet, feeling at his pocket as the pager he held vibrated gently. "You have a great deal to be thankful for."
"You're forgetting the Chief fired me not say many years ago!" She called as he exited the gallery. "And that his mother hates me!"
"She doesn't hate you." Jackson cut across, suddenly appearing at the side of his wife in the gallery, taking the seat Alex had just departed from. Noting that she had heard, turning to find him with a smile, he added. "She just hates the idea of you as my wife. No one was ever going to be good enough."
April sighed and turned back to the scene below, quite naturally interested in the surgery despite knowing what awaited her after it had finished. "You two are doing great jobs of making me less nervous." She answered quietly, referencing Alex also.
"April, just stop over thinking it." Jackson told her, perching in a now vacant seat behind her chair, his hand finding her shoulder for comfort. "I honestly think she's still more pissed at me, than she is at you."
April nodded, lifting her own hand to find his fingers. "We'll see about that."
*/\*
"Nice of you to join us, Doctor Kepner." Catherine Avery drawled, wiping her hands feverishly on the provided sterile towel, watching as her daughter-in-law proceeded to do the same. "Or is it Doctor Avery now? Hmm, that may get a little confusing in the OR."
Dropping her towel into the waiting hands of the scrub nurse, April mustered a sort of smile and bit back on the annoyance lacing the words in her head. "No… Doctor Kepner is fine thank you."
"Sorry we're late." Came the voice of Jackson as he entered the OR behind April. Doctor Webber was hanging in the younger surgeon's shadow.
"Don't worry baby… Richard. Now you're all here, we can start." Catherine told them with a sweet smile that began to make April's stomach churn.
It was not unnoticed by April how Catherine had not bothered to show her annoyance with her son or 'boyfriend'. It was clear that from this moment, she was going to be public enemy number one when it came to the older woman… maybe she could shrink into the crowd of eager students willing to learn? Surely this surgery did not require the hands of four surgeons? No matter how new and under-used the procedure was. Maybe…
"Doctor Kepner, would you like to open?" Catherine asked suddenly, snapping April from her plans as the sound of the older woman's voice. It was clear she wasn't going to get out of it that easily.
"I'm sure she would, mom." Jackson piped up with a smile before turning his attention to April, offering her a stern look. She knew this was a way her husband was trying to get her to agree.
"I erm… I don't know the procedure. It's yours and I don't feel comfortable doing something new like this." April replied with a weak, forced smile. Part of that was true, she didn't know the procedure but showing she was weak despite her trauma experience, was surely a way for her to shrink silently into the background once the surgery begun.
"No, no I insist." Catherine replied, her tone laced with an underside of smugness. She was clearly making her daughter-in-law squirm.
"April." Chief Webber goaded, with what she felt was the most encouraging of smiles she had seen so far this afternoon. He, of course, was oblivious to Catherine's tactics. Although his 'girlfriend' had always made her dislike towards Jackson's marriage known, April knew she would never make her actual dislike to prominent. It was just subtle enough for the younger woman to feel the affect, also leaving even Jackson completely blindsided.
With a deep breath, she carved the warmest smile she could muster into her lips, and stepped forward with an outstretched hand. "Ten blade please." She instructed with confidence, just catching Catherine's smirk as she flicked her eyes back to the awaiting patient before her on the table.
*/\*
Stretching the muscles in her back sometime later, April groaned before allowing her entire body to go soft against the couch cushions. Closing her eyes briefly for a moment, the events of the last few hours returned to her mind. It had been the longest surgery she felt she had ever had to endure; not because of time or difficulty with the patient, but with simply battling with the wits of Catherine Avery.
It had been no stop questioning for around two hours. Topics ranged from school and home life, to goals as a surgeon before coming full circle, right back to the moment during the first year of her marriage, that they had discussed future children. Here Catherine could sense she had hit a nerve with the red head, pushing and pushing until finally the truth about the miscarriage had spilled out in the busy room. That was the moment April knew she had had enough.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Catherine asked, casting her eyes accusingly in her son's direction.
"Because it was nobody's business but ours." April replied, not even leaving a moment's room for Jackson to speak.
"Richard, did you know about this?" Catherine asked, turning her head to Webber who shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.
"Like I said, it was nobody's business."
"I'm Jackson's mom… he could have told me." Catherine tried to argue, her eyes now fixed on April, whose cheeks blushed with a fiery distaste.
"I spent over a month getting myself back to normal after it happened. Telling YOU was not a priority."
Catherine scoffed, replacing an instrument on the surgical field to pause for a moment, her attention now solely on her daughter-in-law. "It's like you're trying to purposefully keep me out of your marriage."
"Ha!" April shot back, now deeply intent on offering the truth to his mother-in-law. "Out of our marriage? Our marriage has nothing to do with you! I'll gladly keep you out if it!"
"April!" Jackson said loudly, interrupting the fiery debate between the two women in his life for a moment. The steely look she offered to him said all she needed to in that moment.
Not long after the argument started, April removed her gown and gloves and fled the room. Too much truth had spilled out. She had finally said everything she had been thinking since she had married to Jackson, that she knew she should never say. Yet Catherine had insisted on pushing and pushing until there was no resolve to keep the peace left. It was time she knew just how April felt, although she was not entirely expecting Jackson to offer a hand to his mother in the midst of their argument.
When she had envisaged how married life would be, this was not it. Having been close to her own mother as she has grown up, there was an expectation she would form a close bond with her husband's mom also. Even though she had heard stories of mother-in-law's from hell, she didn't seem to want to believe she would receive one. The thought of Catherine Avery taking on this role almost seemed too good to be true… clearly it was. No other woman had her riled like Catherine did, not even Christina when she was happily ripping apart to the sanity of her friends. It was almost enough to allow April to say she hated Catherine. Of course, she knew that she never could however. She was married to Jackson, Catherine's one and only son, her everything… it was just over-protectiveness she told herself instead.
"April."
The sound of her husband's voice caused April to look upward. He was stood in the doorway to the attending's lounge, leaning against the frame, theatre scrub mask hanging loosely around his neck. He seemed tired, also a little ashen faced. Maybe it had been an even longer surgery than expected?
"Jackson, I don't want to argue or even talk about it." She told him bluntly. Today was not one she wanted to repeat and dissect in her current state. She certainly did not want to pick a fight with him, which she knew she was spoiling. God, she was pissed at him for taking his mother's side.
"No, I…" He trailed off, easing himself into the room and dropping unceremoniously beside her on the couch. Blinking quickly, he swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to steady his rapid breathing. "I…"
"Jackson?" She questioned, nothing just how grey he seemed under the harsh lights of the room. Something was certainly amiss with him.
"It's my mom, April." He seemed to breath, causing all the air in the moment to evaporate between them.
"What happened?" She asked with panic in her tone. Yes, she couldn't stand the woman but she was his mother, and not even she could be as callous as to lack concern.
"Af-after surg-gery, my mom..." He stuttered, clearly dazed by all that had happened. "She collapsed with chest pain… Yang has her in the CCU."
"Oh, Jackson." April gasped, instantly reaching out to capture her husband in her arms as he fell against her body like a led weight. The sensation of tears began to seep through her scrub top but she didn't seem to care. Clutching him as he began to sob, she felt her heart break and instantly the events of the day were washed away by uncertainty.
"April, I'm scared she isn't going to make it."
"Ssh." April soothed, holding him close and rocking them gently, not really knowing what else she could do.