"Alex you need to eat" Elliot said as he watched her push her food around. Granted it wasn't the best food around but it was something.

"I can't" Alex answered without looking up "I don't really have an appetite."

"I know but trust me you need the nourishment."

Alex just shrugged and continued to push the food around on her plate. After a few minutes of silence she looked up at Elliot with pleading eyes.

"Tell me about her."

"Do what?"

"Tell me about Olivia. I want to know everything."

"Alex it's not my story to tell it's hers."

"I know El but what if she doesn't make it." Alex choked out as tears began to pour from her eyes "I'll never have the chance to know and I want to know."

Elliot sat there and stared at her. He was truly torn about what to do. Olivia had trusted him with her darkest secret and he never wanted to betray that trust. At the same time he understood Alex's need to know. With a silent prayer to the lord above that Olivia would forgive him when she survived he began a story that he didn't feel as if he should tell.

"As sure as I sit here with you I never told you anything about her. Do you understand?"

Alex nodded anxious to hear anything about Olivia that she could discover.

"Olivia was the product of a rape." Elliot began as he exhaled "her mother was a senior at college and was cutting through an alley way to make it home quicker. She was jumped from behind and knocked out. When she came too there was a man on top of her raping her."

Alex covered her mouth with her hand trying to keep the gasps in. No wonder she fought so hard for victims.

"About two months later her mother discovered she was pregnant. Abortion was illegal and her family begged her to put her up for adoption. For some reason Serena, her mother, chose to keep her. Which I'm not sure if that was the best thing she ever did or the worse thing. Truthfully I believe it was a mixture."

"I can only imagine what her life was growing up?"

"From what Olivia told her it was a deadly combination of happiness and abuse. Having Olivia there was a constant reminder of what had happened to her. In her attempt to cope with what happened she turned to alcohol. Growing up she was constantly reminded how she had destroyed her life."

"It wasn't her fault."

"I know that and you know that but how many times do the victims blame themselves and others around them. It was the same case here, except this time there was a constant reminder calling her mommy not flashbacks."

"How bad was her childhood?"

"One filled with years of abuse both physical and mental. When she was sixteen her mother came at her drunk and Olivia for the first time defended her self. She kicked her mother into a wall. When she did she hit her head so hard she passed out. Except Olivia didn't stop there she had continued kicking her mother until she was afraid she was going to kill her. She left that night and called a child's advocate attorney she had met one time before by the name Symone Brice. Symone helped her get some counseling and get out."

"How?"

"I'm not really sure Olivia has never disclosed that to me. I do know that at some point Olivia and her mother attempted to build a relationship but that was short lived. Olivia accepted a proposal from one of her mother's students. When her mother threatened to have him expelled and charges placed on him she broke off the engagement but a short time later she moved out on her own. She went to college on an academic scholarship and graduated with honors. She has a dual degree in Criminal Justice and psychology believe it or not."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah." Elliot said smiling "Liv is a lot smarter than she lets on. She passed all tests needed for the department and entered the academy. She was in the top three percent of her graduating class. She worked long and hard and within six years made detective. It took another year before she was able to receive the transfer to SVU like she wanted."

"I don't understand why work in a division that would be a constant reminder of your conception and life?"

"To get her mother the justice she never received. Her mother rapist was never caught. Olivia has the case file in her top desk drawer. On the side she works it trying to find the perp. I think it's a combination of two things. A she wants to give her mother justice and B she wants to meet the man who fathered her and I use that term loosely."

"I understand the need and want to capture the rapist but to meet him why?"

"To prove she's not like him. There's one thing you've got to understand. Olivia would give anything to have someone to come home to and have a child with that person. But she has it in her head that since half her genes are that of an alcoholic and the other half is a violent rapist that she has no chance. That one day she will snap and become either one of them if not the two combined. One night she will get drunk and force herself on her partner. As for the child she is so terrified of making the same mistakes her mother did that she would forgo her happiness as a mother to save the child a second of pain."

"That couldn't be further from the truth Elliot. She has to be the most compassionate, loving, caring person I've ever met. Hell I've seen her with children she is a natural."

"I know that and you know that but she doesn't believe that. She truly believes that she will become her sperm donor and mother. Which is why, she won't allow herself the happiness she deserves. She always find some reason to sabotage or run from whatever relationship she is in at the time. She would prefer to bury herself in her work than go home to any empty house. I've heard her make the comment that this is the life she deserves."

"It's not Elliot. My god, that woman deserves all the happiness that can be given to her and everything handed to her on a silver platter."

"So counselor" Elliot said as he leaned back and raised one eyebrow "Are you the one to give her everything on a silver platter and all the happiness in the world?"

Alex smiled the first real smile she had smiled since everything happened yesterday after noon "I would love to be Elliot I would love to be."

"That's what I want to hear" Elliot said standing and collecting their trash "I think you two would be good for each other. I mean really good. I also think it's time to head back upstairs so we can meet with the doctor. He should be done any time now."

Alex smiled as she stood and followed Elliot out of the cafeteria. She knew he was a devote catholic and for him to support them meant everything to her and she knew it would mean the world to Olivia. Now all she needed was the first bit of good news she had heard in over twenty four hours.

A/N: You guys are amazing and I love each and everyone of you. Thank you so much. As always reviews are welcomed.