The boat ride was the quickest part of her journey home. Her thoughts clouded her mind as the boat passed through the waves, making it seem much faster compared to the agonizingly long journey it had been just yesterday.
So much had happened in the past day and a half, and she felt mentally exhausted from everything.
By the time they reached land again, she profusely thanked Pascal for taking her back on his day off. Then she hurried to the subways to board a train. It would take her about an hour of swapping trains to get to her parent's town, and another ten to walk to their house from the subway station.
It left her far too long to wallow in her worries, as well as realizing that she was getting cravings for brownies. She tried to rest when she could, but her mind refused to let her relax for more than five minutes. At least she didn't have to deal with the 5 o'clock rush hour.
By the time she reached her parent's house, she wanted nothing more than to sleep for hours on end after eating a nice meal. It wasn't until her knuckles rapped against the aged wooden door that her thoughts properly focused on what was in front of her. Her mother's face as she opened the door was obviously worn down, both from lack of sleep and emotions. It shocked Hikari back into the reality of her father's situation.
Her mother gave her a weak smile, opening her arms for a hug. "You've gotten bigger from the last time I saw you." She noted as Hikari stepped into her embrace. "It's been a while, almost a month. I've missed you. I think you might like Chase." Hikari felt the last sentence slip out without much thought. She felt her mother shake from a giggle. "I certainly would hope so." She said as she released her, then motioned for her to follow.
"Your father is better than he was this morning. He's been laying on his recliner since we got back, sleeping or watching TV." When they were halfway down the hall, her mother grabbed Hikari's arm, holding her back and hushing her voice.
"I have to warn you… He's lost a lot of weight since you last saw him. He hasn't been able to eat or drink well." She frowned, then released Hikari to clutch her hands together, her knuckles whitening at the tension.
Hikari took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. For a moment, she mentally prepared herself, but she knew she would never be prepared to see her father in such a sickly state. She let out her breath after she had gotten herself as calm as she could force herself to be, and nodded to her mother. "Okay."
Together they walked into the living room where her father napped in his recliner. He was pale, and scrawny, his skin beginning to droop from having lost weight so rapidly. His hair was drastically thinned, and the color had died to a lackluster grey that flattened against his skull. Even the mustache he had taken such pride in was gone.
Even in his sleep, he seemed uncomfortable. She hesitated, not knowing whether or not she should wake her father when he had such a rough morning.
"Go ahead, he's been wanting to see you." Her mother encouraged. Reluctantly, she reached out for him and touched his shoulder. "Dad?" She crouched by the arm of his recliner, lightly patting him as he roused from his slumber. His eyes squinted at her, blurring into focus before he gave her a half-hearted grin.
"Hey girlie. Didn't think I'd see you till tomorrow." He shifted to sit up straight, stretching his arm out to hug her into his side.
She closed her eyes, her arms wrapping around his shoulders. She tried to be strong. She really did, but the tears came flooding out despite her resistance. Her father was clueless until he felt her body tremble in a sob.
Hikari heard his heavy sigh, and he draped his other arm around her as well. "Come on, Hika. I'm not dead yet. No way I'll let it take me down." He murmured, a heavy frown setting on his features. She mumbled out apologies, separating herself to properly rub her eyes clean of her tears.
"Besides, I've got a grandson to help you raise, don't I? I wouldn't miss that for anything." He gave her a cheeky grin, but his eyes were troubled with concern for her.
"I know, I know…" Hikari bit down on her inner cheek, trying to control herself. The mention of her baby only made her feel worse, though. Her father sighed, folding his hands on his stomach as his ankles crossed over each other. "Now, tell me about this Cason boy or whatever his name is." He demanded, his eyes narrowing in seriousness.
Hikari gave him a weak attempt at a smile, then settled herself down on the closest seat to him. As she relayed her description of Chase, her mother rested beside her. They were both very attentive in listening. It had probably been a long time since they had talked about something other than her father's illness.
For a good hour they talked, until her father admitted that he needed to put himself to sleep for the night. Hikari wound up wandering to her old room and sifting through her closet. She had all but forgotten about the stacks of paintings she had piled on her closet floor. Some paintings had begun to flake with age and poor preservation, while others were from her more recent years in high school.
It seemed so far away. She had graduated college two years ago, and had been lucky to find a stable job so quickly. She was now sitting in the middle of her prime, at twenty-four years old, and pregnant from a one-night stand. Oh, how her friends would have ridiculed her if they had found out. Yet another reason she was glad she didn't live on a small island.
Her fingers trailed over a perfectly empty canvas, practically begging her to just stretch her creativity and paint like she had six years ago.
Hikari set up her easel, settling the canvas onto it and drawing a box of paint out from the confines of her closet. The paint was old, but she could manage it well enough with paint thinner. She was almost timid as she raised her brush to the canvas, her fingers hesitating. She didn't even know what to paint. For a moment, she felt silly for thinking that she could just jump back into painting and do well.
Instead, she let her arm fall into a lull of mindless brush strokes. She had done this many times before, using it to stir her mind into forming something magnificent.
The more her brush glided across the canvas, the more she realized what she was doing. It had dominated her mind for so long that it spilled out into her art. She was tempted to stop, but the pull of her hand guided her regardless of what she thought. She was painting him. His face, his lips, his piercing eyes and his curled, peachy hair.
She couldn't stop herself. She didn't want to.
Hikari found herself smiling as she slowly pieced together his face. She felt that strange, familiar peace as she painted. It warmed her from the inside-out.
Before she knew it, it was 3am. It was as if she had been jolted back into reality. She had work in only a few hours, and she had yet to get a proper night's sleep. She heaved a sigh, setting down her brush before looking over her work again.
Chase's face was replicated on her canvas, and in his arms he held a baby. Their baby, to be exact. At least what she envisioned he would look like. Cute, chubby cheeks, with unruly curled chestnut hair and gorgeous purple eyes.
She stood there, staring at her work before she tore herself away. She turned on her phone alarm before collapsing on her bed, her eyes slumping shut as sleep claimed her.