"Her name?" Olivia stuttered her injuries had to mess with her hearing as well "Did you say her name?"

"Yes her name." Alex said looking up at Olivia. She tried her hardest not to laugh at the look on her face. It was a mixture of hope, confusion, and pain. All of which she was responsible for and that tore her to pieces "Olivia I am gay."

Olivia opened her mouth and closed it several times before finally closing it and keeping it closed. Of all the confessions she had imagine coming from her this was not one of them. She had finally wrapped her mind around Alex being straight and her never having a chance. Then she throws this at her. What was she suppose to say to do.

"The dinner." Olivia muttered the first thing that came to her mind.

"Was a business dinner." Alex almost whispered as she slowly reached out and took Olivia's hand in hers breathing a sigh of relief when she didn't pull away. "We just discussed this. I wasn't lying to you. It was a business dinner."

"Who is it?" Olivia asked squeezing her hand trying to encourage her.

"Her name is Jessica Johnson" Alex said taking a deep breath and exhaling "I met her in a bar and we seemed to hit it off."

Olivia laughed but quickly grabbed her side and stopped.

"You find it funny that I picked someone up in a bar?"

"Truthfully yes." Olivia said biting back tears of pain "I just can't see you picking up someone from a bar.'

"You're right I don't pick people up in a bar. To be honest she was the first."

"When did it start?"

"Seven months into the relationship." Alex answered unable to meet Olivia's eyes "Up until that point everything was a perfect relationship. She opened doors for me, pulled my chair out, treated me like a queen. Something I hadn't had before."

"What set her off the first time?"

"She saw me talking to a fellow co-worker, a male co-worker."

"She attacked you at work and no one did anything?' Olivia asked almost seething at the thought that the DA's office saw the attack and did nothing.

"No she waited till I got home. I walked into my apartment and she was there. I thought nothing of it because she had surprised me at home numerous times before. I walked up to hug her and kiss her and she slapped me instead. Asked me why was I there with her if I wanted dick. I ordered her to leave and she did."

"But she came back?"

"That night and like an idiot I let her back in. She swore to me it wouldn't happen again and I bought it. That she loved me so much that she lost it when she saw me with a male co-worker."

"Alex it doesn't matter that is no excuse for her to put her hands on you. There is never an excuse to put your hands on another person."

"I know." Alex whispered as tears started to fall from her face. Olivia reached out to wipe them away but Alex shook her head no "Please let me finish before I lose my nerve."

Olivia simply nodded.

"After that she became the woman that I had started falling for for about a month. Then I came home late one night and that was it. She accused me of sleeping with my co-worker and called me a slut. Before I knew it she had me against the wall choking me till I passed out. When I came to she had me handcuffed and tied to the bed. Told me she was going to show me what I was missing. Make me hate men."

"Alex" Olivia said as she pulled her to her. She was thankful when Alex didn't stop her and crawled into the bed with her. It hurt like hell to have her laying on her side with the incision but she didn't care. She would give anything to stop the pain Alex was feeling at that moment.

"She um raped me none stop till the morning. I was hurting so bad I had to call in. After that it became a regular occurrence weekly for almost two years."

"What stopped her?" Olivia almost growled out but caught herself in time. If she ever got her hands on this woman may god rest her soul.

"You."

"Me?" Olivia asked shocked.

"Yeah you." Alex said looking up into Olivia's eyes "We were out one night and I saw you. I pointed you out to her and told her if she laid another had on me she would have to deal with you."

"That worked?"

"She did make a comment that she could take you and I told her she was probably right but could she handle the whole force because if she messed with you she would be messing with the whole force."

"If that worked that was too easy."

"It got her to stop hitting me, raping me, and to move out. But it didn't stop her terrorizing me."

"What is she doing now?"

"She has followed me and left me threatening letters as well. Has promised me that if she couldn't have me no one could. Which is how you wound up here fighting for your life, for that you will never know how sorry I am."

"She was the female that shot me?"

"Yes I didn't know it till about two weeks ago when Morales was able to get camera footage of the incident. You had pushed me into the alley and when I looked up you had your gun on someone, I never saw the suspect. I made the mistake of calling your name and distracting you. That's when she shot you. I am so sorry and I hope one day you will forgive me. I want you to know that I am getting you the best doctors in the world for you. Anything you need let the charge nurse Stephanie Daniels know and it will happen."

"Alex" Olivia said as she tried her hardest to keep her in her arms but couldn't because of her weakened state "I don't blame you and there's nothing to be forgiven."

"Yes there is" Alex said as she leaned down and picked up her briefcase "Because of me you almost lost your life. Because of me you have suffered some brain damage and to the extent we don't know. I may have cost you your career and for that I will be eternally sorry. I hope one day you will be able to forgive me for everything and if you can't I more than understand."

"Alex don't" Olivia started to say but was stopped by the sound of her room door being shut behind Alex as she quickly left the room. She laid back on the pillow and cursed the fact that she wasn't able to chase after her and tell her everything was ok.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. I know Alex has ran again but please remember she is the victim of abuse and blames herself fo Olivia getting shot. That is something that doesn't go away overnight. PeterPeter I promise baring any complications or incidents from work I do plan to continue writing throughout the holidays and hopefully update as well. You were not being selfish you were only willing to say what others were hoping for. If for some reason I am unable to update again before Christams. I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday.