A week later Clarke was back at the clinic. As Bellamy had predicted, Clarke came down with the flu right after he got over it. And as Clarke had done for him, Bellamy took care of her. Clarke walked in to find the clinic already open and Dr. Hardgrove turning on lights in the back.

"Ah Clarke," He pulled her into a hug. "I see you're feeling better."

"Much better," Clarke replied. "Thanks for coming back for a few days to cover for me."

"You're welcome my dear," He smiled and headed for the front door. "I'll leave you to it then."

Clarke waved and finished her morning routine. She enjoyed the peace and quiet being alone at the clinic offered. She had time to herself to think. Things with Bellamy were great and while she honestly hadn't been happier, the realization that she was in love with him scared her. Everything that had happened to her back home was because of how close she got to the people she cared about. What if her happiness triggered the bad karma that seemed to follow her around like the plague? Clarke was shaken from her thoughts around lunchtime by the front door signaling someone had arrived. She was pleasantly surprised to find that it was Bellamy who'd come in.

"Hey Princess," Bellamy wrapped her in a hug and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "How's it going?"

"Good. Just trying to get back into the swing of things around here," She settled her arms around his waist. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure you ate. Want to head to the diner with me?" He was gently rubbing her back which was becoming a habit. Every time he did it she seemed to melt in his arms.

"Yes. Let me just grab my purse and lock the back door," Clarke locked the backdoor and grabbed her bag from her office, then pulled that door shut and locked it as well. On her way out she locked the clinic door and flipped the sign out front to show she'd be back soon.

The diner was so close they decided to walk. Bellamy grabbed her hand as they started towards the restaurant and Clarke rested her head against his shoulder as they walked. Bellamy's heart pounded in chest. He'd never felt like this before. Everything about her was exactly what he wanted and needed in his life. She gave him stability that he didn't realize he needed and a contentment he'd always craved. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, but was afraid she'd get spooked. There was still a part of her past that was obviously haunting her. He always told himself he'd never push her to tell him what happened to her because it wouldn't ever change how he felt, but he also knew deep down that if she didn't share it they'd never be able to have a future together.

"How about I come over tonight and cook us an amazing dinner?" Bellamy asked.

"That sounds great," Clarke looked up at him curiously. "What's the occasion?"

Bellamy shrugged and kissed her temple. "Just because."

Later that evening, Bellamy arrived with ingredients for dinner in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. He'd spent the afternoon trying to figure out how to bring up her past without being too obvious. So far he had no ideas for his efforts. He figured he'd just go with the flow. He let himself into the house and found her in the kitchen fiddling with her Ihome and Ipod that were on the counter.

"Hey," She smiled up at him and accepted the kiss he placed on her lips. "Should we do old school rock and roll or a more calm alternative acoustic?"

"Second one," Bellamy set the ingredients and wine on the counter. "Rock would ruin the mood I think."

"The mood?" Clarke chuckled as she set the Ipod back on the docking station and chose a playlist from Spotify. "You sure there's no special occasion tonight Bell?"

"I'm sure," He caught her waist and wrapped his arm around her. "Just want a quiet evening with my favorite girl."

Clarke smiled. His girl. She liked the sound of that. "So what are you making your girl tonight?"

"Spaghetti with homemade sauce."

"Like from scratch? Really?" Clarke was impressed when he nodded.

"Yep," Bellamy started pulling ingredients from the bags and setting them on the kitchen counter. "I've been cooking for myself and Octavia since I was a kid. Peanut butter and jelly was only appealing for so long."

"You continue to impress Sheriff," Clarke pulled from his arms to grab two wine glasses from the cabinet. She poured them each a glass and handed one to Bellamy.

Clarke walked around the island and sat down on one of the bar stools to watch Bellamy. She discovered she loved just watching him. He moved around the kitchen like he'd been using it for years.

"I think you were a chef in a past life Bell," Clarke said.

"I really do enjoy it," He dropped some spices into the pot in front of him. "At first it was just about keeping O and I alive, but after a while I realized how fun it was. I had complete control and could put whatever I wanted together to create something. Control was something I didn't have a lot of as kid."

About 30 minutes later Bellamy joined her on a bar stool and placed a plate in front of her. She took one bite and stared at him in shock.

"Oh my god. Bell this is amazing," She moaned as she placed another bite in her mouth.

"I told you Princess," Bellamy smirked at her.

After she finished, Clarke took their dirty dishes to the dishwasher and started washing the pans Bellamy had used. As she washed, she couldn't help but wish her mom was here. Cooking was one passion her mom had that she'd tried to get Clarke to appreciate, but it hadn't ever stuck. Clarke tried, but it just wasn't her thing although it was when they had the best conversations.

"What's wrong?" Bellamy had seen her face fall with her hands in the soapy water.

"Nothing," Clarke shrugged and sighed. "Just missing my mom."

Bellamy knew now was his chance. "Clarke why did you leave home? You know you can tell me anything right?"

Clarke's anxiety jumped at the question. She could see the love and understanding in his eyes and knew that no matter what he'd understand. But she didn't think she could bear to reveal what had happened. What she'd done.

"You don't want to know Bell. It's all in the past any way," Clarke put one pot aside and grabbed another.

"It's a part of who you are Clarke. It's obviously still bothering you," Bellamy gently tried to push.

"Bellamy please," Clarke pulled her hands from the suds and grabbed a towel to dry them off. She threw the towel on the counter and went to the living room to try and escape his questions. Before she could stop them tears started to fall down her face. "I won't be the same person to you. Everything that's good in my life gets taken away from me. I'm a walking disaster."

Bellamy got up from the bar stool and cupped her jaw in his hands, wiping the tears that had fallen from her face. "Clarke nothing you say will change anything. You will still annoy me with your stubbornness, arouse me, understand me better than anyone I've ever known. I will still...love you. Just as much as I do now."

Clarke dropped her forehead to his chest and gripped his shirt tightly. "Dammit Bellamy. I never asked you to fall for me."

"It's too late," Bellamy smiled when she leaned back with fresh tears in her eyes.

Clarke knew it was time. She couldn't keep this secret from him anymore. Especially since she loved him too. She would just have to be prepared for him to run when he knew the whole truth. She took his hand and led him to the couch. She wanted to sit with some distance, but Bellamy didn't want that. As soon as they'd sat down he pulled her to sit in his lap. She settled there with her back against the side of the couch.

"Back home I had a friend named Wells. He was my best friend. We'd known each other most of our lives. My mom was an ER doctor before moving to surgery and his dad, Thelonius, was the director of the hospital. I think our parents really wanted us to date, but I'd never really seen him that way and he never saw me that way either. No matter what, I was happy. We spent all our free time together. Other than you, no one has known me better than Wells. He made life in New York bearable and worth it. By the time I started at the hospital my mom was head of the surgical department and I'd started in the ER. I was, depending upon how you see it I guess, in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had gone into the supply closet to get something and saw Thelonius in the corner. I was going to say hi when I realized he was on the phone. I'll never forget what I heard him say."

"What he'd say?" Bellamy rubbed a hand across her thigh soothingly. He could feel the anxiety rolling off her in waves. While he did feel guilty about pushing her to this he knew that she needed it too.

"He was talking to someone about a drug deal. He was making plans to meet someone later that evening and then listed off the different drugs he was bringing - painkillers, narcotics," Clarke forced herself to stop wringing her hands and placed them in her lap instead. Bellamy immediately grabbed one and wrapped his fingers through hers and squeezed them in silent support. "I left and ran straight to the break room to think. We'd had some drugs turn up missing and the police had been trying to figure out who was doing it, but hadn't. I'd known him my whole life and I didn't want to rat on him, but I didn't have a choice. I reported what I'd heard to the detectives and tried not to feel like a snitch. They eventually arrested him and when Wells found out it was me who'd turned him in..."

Clarke's voice cracked and the tears started falling again. Bellamy rubbed her back and pressed a kiss to her temple, whispering words of comfort in her ear.

"He cornered me coming out of a coffee shop on my way to work. He was yelling at me that I'd betrayed him and that he hated me. I tried to apologize, but he left before I could. I tried to tell myself we'd get past this, but he was dead by the end of the week. And it was my fault."

"What do you mean Princess?" Bellamy asked.

"The detectives on the case came to my apartment three days after he'd stormed off. They told me that the drug dealers Thelonius was working for didn't want him to snitch or talk. To scare him into silence they...stabbed Wells thirty times."

Clarke broke down and started sobbing. She sank against his chest as she tried to control the tears, but they continued to come. Bellamy wrapped his arms around her and let her cry it out. As he held her, he struggled to come up with a reason why she thought this was her fault or that it was because of how happy she was.

"You didn't do anything wrong," He whispered. She pulled away from his chest and looked up at him. "Wells death wasn't your fault and his dad stealing drugs wasn't your fault either. His death is on his dad, not you."

"I wish I could believe that," Clarke wiped the tears from her cheeks. "His death destroyed a part of me that I'll never get back. If I'd just kept my mouth shut about what I heard he'd still be alive."

"Maybe. But he could have been killed walking across the street or his dad could have tried to get out at some point and they could have killed him to stop him from doing it. All the bad things that happen in the world are not because of you Princess," Bellamy was determined to show her that she wasn't to blame. He placed his hand against her cheek and wiped the tears. "You are allowed to be happy. Everything that happened brought you here. To me. And call me selfish, but I'm incredibly grateful for that."

Clarke sighed and dropped her forehead to his. Maybe Bellamy was right. She didn't ask to be put in that situation. What would anyone else have done if they were in her place? "I love you Bellamy. I'm not sure I fully believe I had no part in what happened, but I do know that I've started to heal and move on because of you."

She'd always feel responsible for Wells' death, but after just a short time here she was finally starting to accept what had happened. Her conscious would never be fully cleared, but she knew that she could start to live with it.