Chapter 9: Day 3 in paradise
Pein opened his eyes to be greeted by the sunlight that seeped into his room form behind the blinds. He yawned and rubbed his head before opening the blinds and allowing the sun to come in. "Good morning Konan," he yawned as he turned around. However Konan wasn't there, "Konan?" Pein slowly walked to the bathroom, "Konan you in here?" Pein asked as he opened the door. Still there was no sign of the blue haired girl.
"Where the hell is she?" Pein wondered as he took a shower and pulled on his clothes. His eyes found the clock, it was 9 in the morning. He opened the door and was slightly surprise at how quiet it was at this time he could usually here Deidara yelling at Tobi or Hidan and Kakuzu arguing.
He slowly walked out to see Kakuzu walking towards the stairs, "Hey Morning Kakuzu," Pein said as he approached the tall man. "Morning," Kakuzu nodded as he continued walking down the stairs with Pein behind him. "Isn't it weird that it's so quiet?" Pein said as they walked toward the kitchen.
"Yeah I wonder what's up with every…"Kakuzu stopped talking as he and Pein looked at the kitchen.
"W-What the hell?" Pein twitched. The kitchen was a complete mess, water had been sprayed all over the floor, a pink D-cup bra hung from two cabinets and held two melons. Beer bottles were piled high and scattered over the floor. Someone thought it was funny to write, "Red is a bang" in red permanent marker on the fridge.
A bag of chips were opened and tossed over the floor. A stack of red cups were piled high, each of them overflowing with beer. "Well I'm gonna leave before you use me as a punching bag," Kakuzu whistled pleasantly.
Pein narrowed his eyes as he walked into the messy kitchen. He almost stumbled over a plastic bag full of chocolate pudding, when he noticed Zetsu on the side of the kitchen. He was sleeping while hugging a palm trees that had a bunch of Christmas lights on it.
Pein's eye twitched in anger before he punched the plant in the arm, "Hey Zetsu get up!" Pein yelled in the plants ear. Zetsu's eyes opened slowly, "W-What happened?" Pein crossed his arms, "I don't know you tell me," Zetsu eyes widened as he gulped, "Pein! U-Uh um what are you doing here?!" Pein was about to answer when he heard Kakuzu scream from outside.
"HOLY MOTHER OF MONEY! WHAT THE HELL!" Kakuzu yelled. Pein quickly ran through the kitchen, as he tried not to trip on the garbage the lined the floor. "Kakuzu what is…" Pein stopped as he saw Kakuzu's face.
"SOMEONE CRASHED MY CAR, THAT I TOOK FOREVER TO STEEL! WHEN I FIND WHOEVER CRASHED THIS CAR I'm GOING TO KILL THEM AND REPAINT MY CAR WITH THEIR BLOOD!"
Pein gulped as Kakuzu walked passed him toward the house as some music started playing out of nowhere. Pein sighed before walking back into the house to see Kakuzu going into the kitchen. A few minutes later Pein heard screaming coming from the kitchen that sounded like Zetsu.
Kakuzu pulled Zetsu to his feet, "WHO CRASHED MY CAR!" He yelled in a batman voice. Zetsu gulped, he wasn't going to say he couldn't really remember whom. "I-I don't remember Kakuzu," Zetsu gulped. Kakuzu nodded as he placed Zetsu down, "Oh okay," Kakuzu then grabbed the palm tree that Zetsu was sleeping with and snapped the tree in half. "BERTHA!" Zetsu yelled. "Do you remember now?" Kakuzu growled. Zetsu shook his head as he fell to the ground, "No, bertha why?! Fine it was Hidan!"
Kakuzu's eyes narrowed so much you couldn't even see his pupils. He swiftly walked pass Pein and headed toward Hidan's room. Meanwhile Hidan was sleeping in his bed along with Niomi. Niomi was the first to wake up, her blue eyes opened to see Hidan next to her. Her eyes grew wide as she blushed.
She slowly looked down at the sheets the covered both their bodies, before she slowly peeped under the cover to see the horror she wish she hadn't. "NO WAY!" She screamed causing Hidan to sit up in bed. "What! What!" Hidan yelled just as the door burst open. "HIDAN!" Kakuzu growled. "Huh what is it Kaku-" Hidan gulped when he saw the angry man. "YOU RECKED MY CAR AND THEN YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK ME WHAT!" Hidan's eyes widened as he hopped out of the bed and jumped out the window. Kakuzu jumped out the window to as he chassed Hidan around the house.
Niomi blinked as she sighed, she then turned to see Pein standing in the doorway in shock.
Niomi eyes widened as she quickly pulled the covers over her. Pein twitched before quickly walking away into the living room. He spotted Deidara leaning up against the wall with a lampshade on his head. Itachi was wearing shades and had a sign around him saying "Uchihas' always drop it like it's hot" A girl with red hair was passed out on his lap with a bottle in her hand.
Savannah and Sasori we're outside sleeping together on one of the chairs. Pein's eyes then travelled to the couch where he saw Konan laying with a guy with black hair and a few piercings on his face. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!" Pein growled causing Konan and the guy to get up.
"P-Pein what are you doing up?!" She gulped. "Who is he?!" Pein yelled. Konan was about to answer when Pein summoned the huge dog to pick the guy up and toss him out the window. "Pein did you really have to do that?" Konan asked crossing her arms. "Y-Yes I did now who the hell is he and why is everyone in a mess?" Pein asked.
Konan sighed before she spoke, "We went to a club last night," she whispered. "YOU WHAT!" Savannah slowly walked into the house with a yawn just as Hidan ran into the house, "Quick hide me Kakuzu's trying to kill me!"
Sasori looked at him before rolling her eyes, "Why is he trying to kill you?" he asked. "B-Because I crashed his car." Sasori shook his head, "Well it was nice knowing you,"
"Hidan why are you naked?" Savannah asked covering her eyes. Hidan blinked as he looked down, "Huh uh I don't know?"
Pein smirked evilly, "Oh well he just came out of the bed with Niomi," Savannah twitched, "What?!" Pein nodded smugly, "Yeah, in fact I went in the room when Kakuzu was chasing Hidan and Niomi didn't have clothes on either,"
Savannah looked at Hidan, her eyes had turned into daggers, "HIDAN WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER!" Savannah growled.
Hidan eyes widened as she began to summon up electricity. Hidan gulped as he began to back away, "S-Savannah c-come on now, y-you know I would never do anything to N-Niomi," He reasoned, "Even though she has bigger boobs than you." "Do you want to die?" Savannah growled as she ran after him. "AHHHHHHHH!" Hidan ran out the door as Savannah and Kakuzu chassed after him. Hidan looked to see a guy running next to him, "What are you running from?" Hidan asked.
The guy gulped, "That," he pointed. Hidan turned to see Spike running after the guy. "Oh I'm running from them," he gulped as he pointed to Savvanah and Kakuzu. "Oh cool," the guy said before the both screamed in unison.
After a few minutes everything seemed to calm down, Pein had pulled on his black swim trunks and held an orange and red Akatsuki surfboard. Konan after apologizing had pulled on a red bikini, grabbed a volleyball and made her way to the beach with Pein.
Deidara was in the bathroom trying to wash out the red dye that he had put in his hair, while not dying from the horrible hang over he had. Itachi was gulping down water and Alkazelser to get rid of his hang over headache, while Kisame who had been found floating around the ocean waxed his surfboard.
Sasori and Savannah sat on the couch watching Family Fued. Tobi played Super Mario bros. on his Nintendo DS, Zetsu buried Burtha in the back of the house and had a funeral with Alice, the hawaiian plant he bought before.
Kakuzu was outside fixing his car, Hidan was no where to be found and Niomi was tanning outside on the beach. Pein slowly placed his board down before he turned to see Konan rubbing sun tan lotion on her arms. "Hey I'll be right back," Pein said as he walked around the house to the front.
He spotted Kakuzu kneeling down by the car's bumper, "Kakuzu you do know that even though the car is smashed, the owner has probably already called the police," Kakuzu glared at Pein, "Shut up this was a special car to me," Kakuzu said rubbing the car and leaning against it.
"Um was?" Pein wondered as Kakuzu got up. "Yes Pein was, I'm going to give the car to someone else now that it's bust up," Kakuzu sighed as he unlocked the car door. "F*ck Kakuzu get me off of this f
*cking car before I f*cking kill your f*cking ass!" Pein looked up to see Hidan's head stuck onto the cars antenna.
Pein looked up to see a car with two old grandmas in it, they looked at Pein and Hidan's head in horror before screaming and driving off. Pein quickly ran to Kakuzu's side, "Kakuzu take Hidan's head off there now before we get kicked outta here for dishonoring Hawaii,"
Kakuzu groaned before taking a stick and poking Hidan's head off the antenna. His head dropped to the ground and rolled in the road. "There," Kakuzu groaned as he got in the car and almost drove over Hidan's head. "HEY WATCH IT KAKUZU!" Hidan yelled. Pein was pondering whether he should leave Hidan's head in the road.
With a surrendering sigh he picked up Hidan's head and told Kakuzu to come back and stich it back on his body. Hidan cracked his neck before flipping off Kakuzu and walking in the house with Pein behind him. Just as they entered the house, Niomi was walking in at the same time from the back with Konan. Hidan looked up to see her, as they made eye contact Niomi's face went red.
"Hey Niomi…" Hidan began, but Niomi quickly turned the other way and ran for their room. Savannah looked up from the TV and glared at Hidan, "You are going to die!" she mouthed. Hidan twitched before walking over to his room. Savannah quickly got up and stopped him from walking through the door, "What are you going in there for? Huh? To rape her again!" Savannah growled.
"I didn't rape her…in fact I don't even remember doing anything with her," Hidan sighed as Savannah continued to glare at him. "Touch her and I'll chop off every piece of your pride and joy," Savannah threated before walking away and sitting back on the couch with Sasori. Hidan gulped before walking in the room. "Hey Niomi what…" He didn't get time to finish because Niomi slapped him across the face.
"Wha… What was that for?" Hidan growled. Niomi blushed madly before she grabbed his shirt and pulled him close to her face, "Y-You know what that was for!" she growled. Hidan blinked and shook his head, "No I f*cking don't all I know is you have f*cking anger issues!" Hidan growled. Niomi stared into his magenta coloured eyes and he glared at her, she slowly swallowed as her checks burned red again.
She suddenly felt embarrassed, that she was in her bikini and was so close to Hidan. She quickly moved away from him, "W-What do you want?" she asked avoiding eye contact. Hidan looked at her with confusion, before he chuckled, "You are definitely Savannah's sister," He sighed causing her to glare at him.
"What does that mean?" She growled. Hidan shook his head, "Nothing it's just you don't look like Savannah, but you do act like her sometimes," Hidan smirked as Niomi crossed her arms. "Whatever Hidan," Niomi growled as she walked into the bathroom. Hidan sighed before sitting down on the bed. After awhile Niomi reappeared in one of the outfits she bought the day before.
"Looking hot babe," Hidan smiled. Niomi looked at him as her cheeks burned red, "Your still here why?" Hidan sighed as he laid on the bed, "look Niomi I don't think we had sex or anything, trust me I'd remember," Hidan assured. Niomi blushed tomato red, Hidan was such a pervert, but she had to admit she didn't have the foggiest memory of them doing anything. She closed her eyes and tried to remember, but nothing came to mind.
"I guess so, but still I'm not sure I can't remember what happened last night," Niomi sighed. Hidan shrugged, "I can't really remember either, but hey I'm not complaining, better this way if you ask me," Hidan smirked. "I didn't ask you," Niomi groaned as Hidan shrugged. She slowly tapped her chin as she tried to remember, then it hit her, she remembered. After dancing with Hidan she had a drink a very strong one, both her and Hidan in fact.
After that she danced on tables then had more than five shots, after that they returned home even though Hidan slammed into a pole before they arrived.
"Niomi? You okay? Niomi?" Hidan called waving his hand in front of her blank face.
"Hidan shut it I'm trying to remember!" she snapped as Hidan sighed, "Fine," he then walked out of the room and left her to think.
Savannah glared at him when he sat next to her, "What did you do?" she asked. "Niomi's trying to remember what happened last night," Hidan sighed as Savannah glared at him. "I hope so…for your sake," she mumbled.
Meanwhile Niomi sat in her room, thinking about what happened, she slowly laid down and closed her eyes as she started to remember what happened that night.
~Flash Back~
Niomi: Oh yes this is the life! *gulps down 5th shot* hey bartender get you butt over here baby
Bartender: What the hell do you want now?
Niomi: Ah hahaha you are too funny…so how bout a kiss baby?
Bartender: How bout you leave?
Niomi: *gasp* I can't do dat I just got here! Haha hahha hahah hah *lays down*
Bartender: *sigh* I knew I should have quit this job
Savannah: Hey, hey, hey l-look at me who am I'm I? *Pulls mad face*
Sasori: Haahaha your Kakuzu
Savannah: Yeah, yeah dats it, dats it hahahahah
Sasori: Hahhahaah whooo *falls out of chair*
Savannah: Haha S-Sasori y-you okay?
Deidara: Hey baby how you like to become one my arts?
Girl: Jerk *slaps Deidara*
Deidara: Don't be like that baby
Itachi: Aw my Dei she must have though you were a girl
Deidara: Hah ahah hah you fat weasel
Itachi: *gasps and sobs* I'm not a girl you jerk *slaps Deidara and runs away*
Deidara: What is up with people and slapping me?
Niomi: You got me another drink! You are now my best friend everrrrrrrrrrrr….
Random dude: I don't even know you
Niomi: Would you like to *hiccup*
Random dude: Um…
Hidan: hey dude back off! She's mine!
Random dude: Uh…
Niomi: Hidan you big jerk *hiccup* he was starting to like me *hiccup* weren't you Joe?
Random dude: My name is Arnold
Hidan: Oh f*ck I'm going to kill you!
Random dude: AHHHH!
Niomi: Hidan why did you-
Hidan kisses Niomi
Niomi blushes: Bastard why did you kiss me!
Hidan: Cause I wanted to b*tch!
Niomi: I hate you *pulls Hidan on top of her and starts making out with him*
Kisame: Dancing like this makes me feel like a shark!
Girl: Dude you like… are a shark…
Kisame: I know so awesome…
Savannah: O-Okay w-who I'm I now? *puts two index fingers on either side of her noise*
Sasori: I-Itachi haha haha hahaaahh
Savannah: yeah ahh ahahhah
Konan: Looks like my friends are getting a bit crazy, we should probably go home…
Jake: Hey it's cool little blue I'll drive you..
Konan: Heh, heh okay then…
Konan then gathers everyone and walks over to Niomi and Hidan who are still making out.
Konan: Guys lets go! Pein going to kill us!
Hidan has lipstick all over his face and neck: Huh who boss man he can't do anything!
Niomi: Yeah he's a jerk isn't that right Joe?
….
Niomi: Where did Joe go?
Savannah: Lets just go horsey!
Niomi: Ooo I'm I a horsey!?
Savannah: Yeah!
Niomi: Yea!
After awhile they get into the red car and Konan drives back with the guy.
Hidan crashes into a lamppost causing it to fall down on the road.
Hidan: Timber!
Niomi: Hah hahahha
Itachi is making out with a girl
Deidara: Ohooho you bursted up Kakuzu's car he gonna kill you…
Hidan: Sh*t what can we do?
Niomi: Just drives us home and we could figure it out!
Hidan drives home and parks the car. Everyone gets out and Hidan gets out but trips over the seat belt.
Hidan: AHHHH A SNAKES GOT ME IT MUST BE OROCHIMARU'S!
Itachi: Oh hell lets get outta here!
Everyone runs into the house and leaves Hidan outside to battle the "snake".
Itachi starts making out with the girl again.
Girl: H-Hey l-look at this Itachi
Itachi: What?
Girl pulls out a sign that says 'Uchihas' always drop it like it's hot'
Itachi: Hahahah that is so true
Girl: Put it on! Put it on
Itachi puts the sign on and pulls out random pair of shades
Girl: Ahahaha It's snoop Itachi!
Itachi: When Sasuke's try to get at ya…
Girl: Drop it like it's hot, drop it like its hot, drop it like it's hot!
Itachi: If the Niomi give me attitude…
Girl: Drop it like it's hot, drop it like its hot, drop it like it's hot!
Kisame runs out onto the beach.
Kisame: Heh Savannah, Sasori I'm going off to eat someone's surfer *Kisame then jumps in the sea, but is knocked out by hitting a rock*
Savannah is sitting in a chair laying on Sasori: Shouldn't we go help him? *yawn*
Sasori: *yawn* Nah the sharks will help him
Konan and the guy are sleeping on the couch together.
Zetsu: Shhh…Bertha don't be so loud, Pein might hear you…
Zetsu walks into the front room and see's his plant from the mall.
Zetsu: *gasp* Maria! It's not what you think…this is a friend, I swear just a friend.
Maria: ….
Zetsu: Say something Maria
Maria:…
Zetsu: Don't be mad at me…
Maria: …
Zetsu: I see well okay then I'll leave for now
Zetsu goes and takes the palm tree from the club with him
Hidan bursts through the front door naked: Okay, I'm okay the snake didn't harm me, but it took my clothes
Deidara: Dude that's so gross *takes lamp shade and puts it on his head*
Deidara: I'm now a lamp. Turn me on!
Girl: ahahaha did you hear that Snoop Itachi? He said he a lamp so turn him on
Itachi: Sensual seduction…
Hidan: I now need to get my clothes! I'm a coming clothes! *Goes back outside to wrestle with the seat belt*
Niomi: Zetsu what's you doin?
Zetsu: AHHH Niomi get out! Bertha is trying to change…
Niomi: ? Who's Bertha?
Zetsu shows Niomi plant with Christmas lights on it.
Niomi: Oh okay then
Niomi walks into the kitchen and looks at the fridge and reads what's on it.
Niomi: Red is a bang? Haha oh I get ha hhahahh aha wait no I don't
Hidan walks into the kitchen with his clothes: Niomi I need to bring offering to the snake…he said he will fix the car if I bring him a bag full of chips. *Hidan gives Niomi the clothes and tries to open a bag of chips but end up throwing them over the floor*
Niomi: Oh no I'll clean it up! *She goes over to the sink and sprays water all over the floor*
Hidan: That didn't work…
Niomi: That seems like such a good idea at the time…
Zetsu: Hey guys me and Bertha are getting married so I need you guys to make me a statue!
Niomi: Oh okay *Niomi stacks a bunch of cups like a pyramid and fills them with beer*
Niomi: YEAH! I call it the Beery fountain!
Zetsu: Perfect!
Hidan: I brought a black bag of pudding
Zetsu…chocolate?
Hidan: Yeah
Zetsu….Perfect!
Niomi: Yeah you guys are married
Niomi then runs out the kitchen and tells Deidara and Itachi.
Itachi: Do you guys need a DJ cause Snoop Itachi works at weddings
Niomi: Nah wedding over it's time for sleep
Hidan: Yeah *yawns* I'm f*cking tired
Hidan walks into his room and looks at Niomi who is climbing into the bed naked.
Hidan: Niomi what are you doing?
Niomi: ooo look at that I sleep in the nude!
Hidan: ?
Niomi: Goodnight…
Hidan goes in bed and sleeps: Um goodnight…
~End Flashback~
Niomi opened her blue eyes and gasped, so they didn't do anything, thank god she was glad, but slightly embarrassed. A knock came from the door causing her to sit up, "Come in," she called as the door slowly opened. Savannah stood in the doorway with a smile, "So did you figure out what happened?" she asked as Niomi slowly nodded. Savannah raised her eyebrows, "Really what happened?" Niomi pondered whether she should tell her sister what she remembered, even then she didn't know if that was everything that happened that night.
Savannah stood there waiting for her sister to respond, Niomi sighed, "I'll tell you about it later," Savannah shrugged, "Anyways we're going ta Jaws beach to surf you commin?" Savannah asked. Niomi smiled before hopping up, "Yes, I hear Jaws Beach is the best place to get a tan," she smiled before grabbing her bikini and changing.
"I also hear it's the best place to drown and get attacked by sharks," Savannah mumbled.
Remember to review thanks for reading.