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"Hey, I heard you turned down the mission to Kalee."
Han looked up from the computer terminal where the current diagnostic was scrolling before him. He wasn't in the mood for this.
"Yeah," he grumbled, eyes returning to the readout.
Luke's tone was puzzled. "Why did you turn it down? Leia and I are going."
Han pressed a few controls, trying to busy himself and remain matter-of-fact. "I know. That's why I turned it down."
"What? Why?"
"I don't wanna hang around Her Holiness."
Luke was quiet for a moment and Han could feel the kid's eyes on him.
"What happened?"
"Nothin'."
"Something must've happened."
Han turned hard eyes on his friend. "Nothin' happened. She's just a pain in my ass." He turned back to the screen.
"I wish you would reconsider," Luke said quietly.
"I won't."
"Okay, Han." Disappointment and confusion were apparent in his voice as he turned and left, soft footsteps echoing in his wake.
Brow lowered, jaw tensed, he stared after Luke. He hated to take his anger at the princess out on the kid, but every time he thought about what had happened, he was filled with bright anger and dark humiliation.
How had he been both drunk and stupid enough to have such poor judgement? Of course she had told him to stop. She was attracted to him, that was a given. Kissing him was one thing, but having sex with someone like him was beneath her. That thought burned a molten fury through him and his fists clenched, blood growling through his veins.
His first response had been guilt for pushing her past her comfort zone. A moment later, the words that so haunted him rang through his mind, so he walked out before he lost his temper and started another galactic war.
He was angry at her and he was even angrier at himself. He should've known better, should have had more self-control. Upon his arrival on Nimbla IV and that disastrous attack she had rescued him from, she had kissed him and, in that moment, he had found her impossible to resist. But afterwards, he had sworn he would never be tempted again.
Why did he want her so badly? Was it the challenge? Was it because he knew he couldn't have her?
His feelings about the princess had grown so convoluted and volatile. It was best to avoid her at all costs. He couldn't get wrapped up in this hopeless craziness again.
###
Han awoke, anxious and disoriented, realizing he had been having the same dream that had been plaguing him for weeks. He was always in a different place: the Falcon, the Tatooine desert, a cantina on Nar Shadda he had commonly frequented…once, it had even been the dismal shelter he grew up in on Corellia.
But, no matter where the dream took place, it always began the same way, with some mundane task. Then, he would hear a familiar woman's laughter whispering in the distance, drifting on currents of air to breeze into his ears. The laughter grew louder and louder, until it filled his head and he thought he would go insane from the taunting sound.
Compelled to find the source, he always sensed it would be a terrible idea, but he searched for it anyway. Down endless corridors, through sweltering deserts, through the silent, vacuum of space, he traveled and searched tirelessly, that mocking laugh calling to him endlessly.
At moments, he would catch a wispy glimpse of a white figure then it would be quickly gone. He would think to give up, but then the pitch of the laughter would shift, and instead of mocking him, it seemed to beckon with a hint of promise, and he would feel suddenly enticed; as if the woman were promising to fulfill his dreams. And so, he continued to search until he woke up, frustrated and longing for something elusive.
The feeling always led his thoughts to Leia and the ever-present confusion she stirred in him would increase ten-fold. He did not like her to be the first thing that came to mind upon waking. In fact, he wished he could shift time and fly ahead one year so that he would be free to take off and leave the Rebellion, and especially her, behind.
Grumbling to himself, he got up, threw on a shirt, and made a trip to the fresher before heading to the galley for some kaffe. He programmed the machine then leaned back against the counter, arms folded.
That damned job he took from Jabba three years ago had so drastically changed his life. If he hadn't taken the job, he wouldn't be stuck here. He wouldn't have to work for the Rebellion and he wouldn't have to deal with her.
The kaffe machine beeped and Han grabbed a mug, poured his steaming beverage, and sat at the counter.
Then again, if he hadn't taken that job, he never would have met Chewie. And, although Han Solo had spent most of his life proudly declaring that he needed no one, he had come to rely on the Wookiee's presence, could no longer imagine not having him at his back.
He sighed, took a long drag of kaffe, and stared down into the darkness. He probably wouldn't have the Falcon either. The ship had felt like his the minute he set his eyes on it.
With a morose twist to his lips, he figured the entire thing had been for the best. Now, if only he could get away from the Rebels, things would improve dramatically.
Low, plodding footsteps approached and he looked up as Chewie entered, grumbling a morning greeting.
"You're up early," Han said in a coarse voice still thick with sleep.
Chewbacca muttered a short response.
"There's no way you smelled the kaffe through the closed door."
He yelped a short response as he prepared the kaffe machine. Han only shook his head. Chewie joined him at the counter with his own large mug and they drank in companionable silence for a time.
When they were both more awake, his co-pilot informed Han that Luke had told him about his rejection of the mission to Kalee. His defenses rose immediately.
"That's right."
Chewie barked a question.
"Just don't want to."
The next question caused Han to glower.
"So, maybe it does have something to do with her. So what?"
Chewie's shaggy head moved back and forth in frustration and he growled at length.
"Nothin' happened the night of the party," Han sneered. "She just pisses me off."
With a casual air, Chewie told him that he assumed it should be no problem then when their term with the Rebellion ended and they took off, never to see any of the Rebels again.
"Damn right," Han growled. Hadn't he just been thinking that?
Then Chewie threw out Luke's name. Han said nothing, but his thoughts lingered on the kid.
Okay, so he would miss Luke. He berated himself at the thought, having never before believed he would miss anyone. But, the man who had always professed to have no friends had undeniably found one in Luke.
Maybe he could convince him to join the Falcon's crew and leave the Alliance behind. After a moment's consideration, Han dismissed the idea. Luke was too idealistic and too dedicated to ever leave the Rebellion behind.
How had he made the mistake of getting too close to people?
###
Leia entered the Command Center to a flurry of conversation between her Father, General Rieekan, and two technicians hovering over a terminal. She rushed over, forehead wrinkled in concern.
"What's happened?"
They all turned to her and her Father's expression was grim. "We've received word that the Empire has discovered our location."
Leia's eyes closed and her stomach sank. All the time, money, and energy that went into this base and yet again they had to abandon it. She opened her eyes to the reality.
"Are they on their way?" she asked with a resigned sigh.
"We don't know. But as we evacuate, we need to be prepared for an imminent attack," Rieekan replied gravely.
"Rieekan will prepare the ground troops and the pilots. I will oversee the evacuation procedure. Leia, make the announcement and man the Command Center," Bail instructed.
Before the group dispersed, Bail paused to hug Leia. "Meet me at the transport on the final evacuation signal."
She rested her head on his chest for a moment and closed her eyes. "I will, Father."
He gave her an encouraging smile and was gone.
Leia moved to stand behind the Communications Officer and reached for the base-wide comm.
###
"Dammit, why do these things always happen when the Falcon's all torn up?" In the wake of Leia's dire announcement, Han turned to Chewie. "Put the atomizer back in and make sure the compartment's sealed up tight."
With an acknowledging bark, the Wookiee scampered away to follow through with his Captain's instructions.
Han was getting tired of this drill. He anxiously awaited the day that he would escape the Alliance and this self-sacrificing nonsense. Hustling to grab some of the smaller equipment to load on the Falcon, he muttered a few curses under his breath.
###
"Organa to Solo, come in." Bail's deep voice had never sounded less calm.
Han brought the comlink to his mouth. "Solo."
"You're still on base?"
"Yeah, just finished up, taking off now."
"I need you to wait. Leia hasn't made it to the transport. We have to take off now. If we wait a minute longer, we'll be too big a target for the Star Destroyers, we'll never make it away. Your ship is small enough and fast enough to sweep past them."
Again? Why did he always have to save her royal ass? "Copy that, Organa. I'll wait for the Princess. Solo out."
He rushed to the cockpit and found Chewie preparing for take-off. "Hold your rontos, Chewie," he bellowed. "Looks like we're gonna have a passenger. I'll be back." He strode from the cockpit, ignoring the Wookiee's growled question.
At the bottom of the ramp, he gazed up towards the sky that was visible with the roof rolled back for departures. He watched as Bail's transport, Rebel Front, raised up and tore off to space.
Looking around, hands on hips, he huffed a frustrated breath. Now, he would be trapped with her in close quarters for hours until they reached the rendezvous. Once they hit hyperspace, he would hole up in his cabin until they were ready to return to sublight.
Where was she? Why did this damned woman always wait until the last minute to appear?
By the time she sprinted into view, the Falcon was the last ship remaining.
"Come on!" he shouted. "What the hell took you so long?"
She didn't answer, but he saw her short legs begin to pump faster and before long she was rushing up the ramp, Han following close on her heels. He sealed up the ramp, ran to the cockpit, and pushed past her in the navigator's chair.
"Punch it, Chewie!"
They were ascending before he had fully dropped into his seat. As they departed Nimbla IV's surrounding airspace, daylight faded behind them and they plunged into the darkness of space, stars glittering in the distance. The many lights of the two Star Destroyers shone even more brightly.
Han pushed the ship to top speed and wove into a fast spin that would be impossible for a large ship to hit. As he congratulated himself on his ingenuity, a number of TIE fighters shot out from the bowels of the Imperial ship.
"All right, Princess, you know the drill, pick a gun."
He heard her unstrap from her seat, followed by the light sound of her feet pounding down the corridor. TIEs stormed the ship, firing rapidly.
"I'm in, lower quad." Leia's voice boomed in his ears.
"Great. Knock out those fighters." He wound the ship in a sharp nose dive to avoid the oncoming attack then angled around to allow for Leia's shot. "Coming in 0300."
He was impressed when she took it out on the first shot. She was getting good at this. He aimed down a clear path past the Star Destroyer on the left, hopeful that he could make it away and escape to hyperspace.
A trio of TIES, lined up in formation, veered in his path and Han did a quick roll to one side.
"1200, three coming in fast!"
Rapid fire from the lower quad and Leia obliterated two of the three TIES in the blink of an eye. Surprised, a grin crawled up one side of his face.
"Great job, Your Worship!" he shouted. He raced at breakneck speed past the Star Destroyer. It cast a shot in Han's direction that went wide and a moment later, they were in open space. He pulled back the lever to send them spurting forward to lightspeed and the stars streaked by with satisfying finality. He sat back with a grin and let out a stream of relieved air.
Chewie growled approval as Han stood and headed to the main hold. As he checked a few readings at the computer terminal, soft footsteps dashed behind him. He glanced at Leia to find her grinning expectantly.
"Good job," he allowed in a restrained voice. When she didn't respond, he said nothing more, only busied himself at the computer. After a time, she spoke from where she had seated herself on the acceleration couch.
"Can you check on the Rebel Front's status? Please?"
He responded with a rough grunt of affirmation then sat at the terminal and drafted a message to the Rebel transport. As he flicked through some data, Leia's voice came softly from behind him.
"Han…thank you for waiting for me."
"No problem," he grunted. "I wasn't ready to leave anyway."
They were silent until the long distance comm pinged. Han checked it and saw it was a holorecording. He hit play and a small, translucent three dimensional figure of Rieekan appeared on the display.
"Captain Solo. Princess Leia." His voice was low and grave. "I regret to inform you…" His eyes fell then he stood straighter and looked back to the recorder. "I regret to inform you that the transport Rebel Front was shot down by a Star Destroyer before it could leave the system…"
"No!" Leia shrieked, voice cracking, sounding utterly broken.
A hollow pang hit Han square in the chest as Rieekan's form continued speaking. His head spun to Leia and found her hand covering her mouth, eyes huge and tear-filled, skin pale from shock.
"I am so sorry, Princess," the holo concluded before fading and disintegrating.
Han swallowed past the sudden, hard lump in his throat, stood and went to Leia on the couch. Her eyes had squeezed shut and the hands at her mouth were trembling. For a moment, he remained standing, uncertain what to do, not knowing if she even registered his presence. With a sigh of resignation, he lowered himself to one knee beside her and placed a tentative hand on her shoulder. In an instant, she collapsed into his arms and began to sob in huge, choking gasps.