So, I hope that this 4.7k word count chapter makes up for the fact that it took me an extremely long time to update, again. I hope I can get back on a cycle, but I cannot promise anything. I can, however, promise you that I didn't lie at the end of chapter 11 when I told you, THINGS ARE GONNA HAPPEN. So, enjoy this chapter, it's probably the one you've all been waiting for.
Chapter 12 - I'm Ready
Emma wakes up the next morning feeling like hell. Instant regret hits her when she realizes she knows this feeling all too well. She got drunk, and she starts freaking out. She had done so well in the last few months and now this. She tries her hardest to remember what happened the previous night, what had led to her destructive behavior and worries if Regina saw her like this. Her questions are answered when she turns her head slightly and sees her girlfriend lying in bed next to her.
"Shit." Emma mutters as a few pieces of last night come together in her head. She remembers dinner, remembers Lily showing up and sharing her secret. Then nothing. A huge, gaping black hole of nothingness. She groans loudly as she grips her pounding forehead and closes her eyes, seeing if anything else comes to her.
When she realizes that everything else is blank, she sighs. She really hopes she didn't make a fool of herself, but knowing how she can get when she's drunk, she only assumes the worst. And she knows she needs to talk to Regina, but she doesn't want to wake her up. Instead, she flips over and drapes her arm over Regina's waist and presses a soft kiss to her exposed back before cuddling into her.
She feels Regina shift in her sleep, turning around in her arms and facing her. Her eyes flutter open and Emma smiles at her.
"Good morning." Regina whispers, snuggling into Emma.
"I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's okay." She mumbles against Emma's skin. "How are you feeling?"
"Like hell." Emma breathes out. "I'm sorry about last night..."
"Do you remember anything?" Regina lifts her head up.
"Lily showing up... and then nothing really after that. I think Zelena yelled at me, but I'm not sure..."
"She did." Regina confirms laying her head on Emma's chest. "We were really worried about you."
"I know. I feel terrible about it." Emma frowns. "I really thought I was past that phase... Before I met you, I had a really bad drinking problem."
"Yeah... Lily mentioned that."
"I went through a lot of AA and thought I was doing better. I guess I reacted poorly to seeing Lily and I was out of line." Emma admits. "So I apologize for anything I said or did. I hope I didn't ruin anything."
"You didn't, but Emma, it's not a good coping mechanism."
"I know." Emma replies. "I'm so sorry..."
"Just don't let it happen again, okay? I don't want to have to worry about finding you drunk in a ditch or dead because you were plastered." Regina shudders at the thought. "I care about you way too much and I can't stand the thought of losing you."
"Me either." Emma kisses Regina's forehead, her heart fluttering at Regina's words.
"Can I ask you a question?" Regina randomly asks as she lifts her head off of Emma's chest.
"Of course you can."
"A couple of weeks ago when you told me that you had only slept with two people... was one of those recently?" Regina asks and she feels Emma stiffen. "It's just, I didn't mean to snoop but I was looking through your drawer to find aspirin and I found well, condoms... and one was gone and I won't be mad. I'm just curious."
It's silent for a few seconds and Regina braces herself for the worst, but instead, Emma just chuckles.
"So funny story about those: when we met, Ruby went out and bought them. But honestly, I'd never even heard of a 'larger sized condom'." Emma air quotes. "And just to be totally safe and make sure they wouldn't be too big, I may have tried one on. And to answer your other question, the other person was Ariel. It was right after my breakup with Lily and we were both super drunk, and I was sad. But it didn't mean anything."
And it really didn't mean anything, Regina can tell by the honest look on Emma's face. She feels relief wash over her and casts aside all doubts, almost berating herself for nearly freaking out over her accidental finding.
"Thank you for telling me the truth." Regina smiles widely.
"Of course, babe. I would never lie to you." Emma grins.
"I know. I shouldn't have gotten worried, but I couldn't help it. I thought there was something wrong with me and that was the reason we didn't, you know.
"No, no. It's not you at all. I just, I felt really insecure." Emma admits. "There's nothing wrong with you, Regina. I lo-"
She pauses. She knows what she wants to say, but she can't seem to get it out. Emma really wants to tell Regina, but she still has no idea how she'll take it.
"I know."
"You know?" Emma questions, raising an eyebrow.
"You told me last night when you were drunk." Regina admits. "On the drive home, you told me that you told your therapist that you loved me."
"Oh god." Emma hides her face in the pillow in embarrassment, but Regina uses her hand to get Emma to look at her.
"I love you, too." Regina confirms and she swears she could see the lights twinkling in Emma's eyes. And she felt the weight of the world lift off of her shoulders at the sight of Emma's face. All of those insecurities she had about telling her girlfriend how she felt washed away.
But instead of replying with words, Emma leans forward kisses Regina, her grip tightening on her waist like she never wanted to let her go. And Regina loves every moment of it as their lips dance together in perfect harmony. She can feel Emma's hand running up and down her back, stalling in the middle as it reaches the clasp of her bra. Emma pulls away from the kiss and looks at Regina for reassurance that this was the direction they were going.
Regina nods and pulls Emma back in, feeling Emma unclasp her bra, gently leading one of the straps down her arm. They pull away from the kiss and Emma sheds the bra off, staring at Regina like a work of art.
"You're so beautiful." Emma says just above a whisper as she leans forward and starts peppering Regina's chest with kisses. Her hand finds a breast and she starts massaging it while her mouth finds the other. She flicks her tongue over the sensitive bud and feels it instantly harden in her mouth as she sucks and swirls her tongue around it.
Regina inhales sharply as the pleasure shoots through her body, her back arching, pushing her chest further into Emma. She can feel Emma gently push on her shoulder, laying her on her back as she climbs on top of her. Regina pulls Emma up and kisses her, feeling her semi-erect member pressing into her most sensitive spot.
She trails her hand down the front of Emma's body, her fingers tracing over the waistband of her boxers. She can hear a small groan escape Emma's lips as her hand dips into her boxers and her fingers come in contact with Emma's cock. She feels Emma hesitate as her body stiffens and Regina ends the kiss to look at her girlfriend.
"Are you okay?" Regina asks and Emma bites her lower lip.
It was the first time Regina had ever seen (well, felt) her penis and Emma was trying to get used to the feeling of a soft hand wrapped around her. Emma takes a few seconds before nodding.
"Yeah, I'm okay." She captures Regina's lips again as the brunette's hand starts to slowly stroke up and down her shaft, growing increasingly hard.
Regina knew that Emma was pretty well-endowed, but up until now, she never knew it was to the extent that she was feeling in her hand. Emma pushes her hips forward, moaning against Regina's lips at the pleasure that was running through her.
Emma's hand grabs a hold of Regina's wrist and carefully pulls her hand out of her boxers. She intertwines their fingers as her member presses against Regina's core through the thin layers of their clothing. Regina's hips buck, feeling her erection brush against her clit and she moans loudly, wanting way more than the somewhat dry humping they had going on.
She pushes Emma back, onto her knees as sits up and grabs a hold of Emma's boxers. She slowly starts to remove them from Emma's body, watching as her cock springs out of its confinement and stands at full attention in front of her. She stares at it momentarily, taking in all of its features and notes how well it compliments her girlfriend. Emma looks around the room nervously, but Regina leans up and gives her a reassuring kiss.
And to further put Emma's mind at ease, Regina takes this moment of awkward silence to remove her panties as she stares at Emma with lustful eyes. Emma breathes in sharply as her girlfriend lays back down on her bed completely naked. She was absolutely breathtaking and Emma is still sitting on her knees wondering how she got so lucky.
"Hold on." Emma says as she moves slightly to reach into her nightstand. She grabs a condom and returns to her spot on the bed. She opens the packaging and removes the latex barrier, rolling it down her shaft before she situates herself between Regina's legs.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Emma asks. And while she knows she probably doesn't need to given the circumstance, she feels that she has to. She doesn't want this to ruin anything.
"I am. Are you sure? I want you to be 100% okay with this, too." Regina says sweetly and Emma practically melts.
"I'm sure." She says with a little hesitation in her voice that Regina can sense.
"I love you, Emma. And I want to share that love with you."
And that was the answer Emma needed.
"I love you, too." Emma replies as she grabs her cock and positions it in front of Regina's dripping core. She runs the head through slick folds, before she lines it up with her entrance. She gently pushes it in and can hear a sharp inhale escape the lips of her girlfriend as she tries to adjust to the size of Emma's penis. "You okay?"
"Yeah, just give me a second." Regina gasps out. Emma nods and holds still until Regina nods and lets her know it's okay to continue. Emma inches in slowly, the feeling of Regina wrapped around her becoming her most favorite thing in the world. And compared to other condoms she had used in the past, these really felt different. Emma could almost swear that she could feel the velvety walls of Regina encircling her member. It was a sensation she'd never forget.
She leans forward and kisses Regina as she starts to draw back before sliding back in. Regina's back arches as Emma starts a slow and steady pace. She feels the ecstasy run through her veins every time Emma's cock was as deep as it could possibly be inside of her. Emma grabs a hold of Regina's hips to help her as she steadily thrusts in and out of her core.
And Regina found it endearing, that Emma was so focused on the way their bodies moved together, on making their first time as perfect as possible.
And Emma was honestly surprised she's lasted this long all together. Especially when she finds her perfect rhythm and her thrusts quicken while Regina's hips buck up allowing her to bury herself in her girlfriend.
"Oh fuck." Regina breathes out, hands gripping the sheets when Emma slightly shifts positions and her cock hits that one perfect spot and she knows she's about to peak. Emma's grunts and moans like music to her ears. "Babe, I'm- oh god."
Regina's head rolls back as her hands find Emma's back, nails digging into her skin as the first wave of her orgasm hits her. And Emma can tell by the way Regina's walls tighten around her member that she too is about to cum. Emma pumps her cock in and out of Regina a few more times before she thrusts in as deep as she can, her load shooting into the condom. Emma release a low, guttural moan as she practically collapses on top of Regina.
"Holy shit, I love you." Emma rasps out, completely out of breath. She removes herself from Regina and disposes of the condom before laying next to her girlfriend whose chest was heaving as she comes down from her high.
"I love you, too." Regina tries to catch her breath. She turns over and kisses the tip of Emma's nose. "Also, you definitely do not suck in bed. I don't know what you were so worried about."
The second time Emma wakes up, she feels a hell of a lot better. And she knows it has everything to do with what had happened a couple of hours earlier. She never actually thought that sex would make her feel so confident and so complete, but sex with Regina definitely did.
And she instantly misses her girlfriend who had gotten up an hour ago to go to work. She grabs her phone from the nightstand and checks it as she gets up and walks over to her dresser.
Regina: I'm 15 minutes into work and I already want to be off.
She shoots Regina a quick reply as she gets ready.
Emma: I'm sorry, babe. What time are you off?
Regina: I'll be off at 5 if my last showing goes quickly.
Emma: Well, for your sake, I hope it does.
Emma shoves her phone in her pocket as she exits her bedroom and makes her way to the kitchen. Ruby was sitting at the kitchen table, disheveled hair and looking like she just woke up.
"Why are you up so early?" Emma asks, fixing herself a cup of coffee and sits down.
"Couldn't sleep." Ruby yawns before smirking at the blonde. "I woke up at like 5 because I kept hearing things."
"I'm sorry, dude." Emma replies absentmindedly, taking a sip from her cup.
"You should be." Ruby jokes. "5am is way too early for me to be hearing you banging your girlfriend. Unlike you, she's not exactly quiet. Very vocal actually."
Emma chokes on her coffee, coughing as she tries to catch her breath. She had no idea that Ruby actually heard them, then again, the rest of the whole seemed non-existent that entire time.
"Oh my God, I am SO sorry." Emma apologizes.
"I mean, I'm glad you guys finally figured out that you love each other. Just wasn't the first thing I would have expected to hear in the morning. She sounded pretty mad last night when she found you drunk." Ruby shrugs.
Emma nods understandingly. "Yeah, I know. I talked to her about it and apologized for my behavior. Also, I'm sorry that I called you and worried you."
"I love you, dude. You're my best friend. I just hate seeing you do that to yourself, you know?" Ruby raises an eyebrow.
"I know."
"Good. Don't forget it." Ruby winks as she gets up from the table. "Oh, and we have a shoot in San Diego today. So sorry, you're going to have to go back even though you were literally there yesterday."
"Ugh, really? What time?" Emma groans.
"Noon. It should be done by 2 so we can be back here by 4:30, maybe 5." Ruby shrugs.
"Alright." Emma agrees, glancing at the clock. "Leave in like an hour?"
"Sounds good to me. I'm going to go get ready." Ruby nods towards her room. "And Emma? I'm glad you finally got laid."
"Gee, thanks." Emma huffs out while Ruby chuckles.
Emma: I think we scarred Ruby for life...
Regina: Oh?
Emma: yeah, she definitely heard us this morning. Well, you, more specifically.
Regina: OH. OH GOD. SHE HEARD THAT?
Emma: Yeah… In all honesty, I had no idea we were being that loud… You know, kind of too wrapped up in the moment.
Regina: I'm embarrassed
Emma: Don't be, babe. Now Ruby and I are even. Don't forget I practically walked in on her.
Regina: with a random stranger. Emma, she knows me. We all hang out. It'll be so awkward now! :(
Emma: No, it won't! She mentioned it and then brushed it off. It'll be fine.
Regina: I'm still embarrassed.
"You ready, Ems?" Ruby calls out, watching Emma look oddly at her phone.
"Yeah. Let's go." Emma gets up from the table and the two head out of the condo. "You're not going to think any differently of Regina after you heard us... you know?"
"Why would I?" Ruby asks as they get in the car.
"She's embarrassed and thinks it'll be awkward, now." Emma explains.
Ruby turns the engine over and pulls out of the parking lot. "Nah, dude. Sex is natural. Besides, I heard you and Ariel, and that girl is way louder than Regina. It sounded like a full blown porno in there."
"Great." Emma rolls her eyes. "That's still a memory I'd like to pretend never happened."
"Why?" Ruby questions.
"I don't know. We're past that, you know? I just want to focus on the here and now." Emma admits.
"Wait, have you not told Regina?"
"What? No, she knows." Emma shakes her head. "I'd never hide that from her."
"Then why...?" Ruby trails off, but Emma knows what she's asking.
"I guess it reminds me of a person I don't want to be anymore. The person who made a guest appearance last night." Emma says honestly. "I know that I've messed up a lot since my first AA meeting, but after meeting Regina, I was fine. I remember the first night I met her. That was the last time I ever drank heavily until yesterday. I mean, I had a drink when we went on our second date, and a beer at the Rabbit Hole, but that was two drinks in two months. And when I fucked it all up yesterday, I was reminded how much of a drinking problem I had. When Ariel and I slept together, we were drunk. And while I don't really regret sleeping with her, I'm trying not to be that Emma anymore. I want to be better, to do better."
"Oh, so it's because you were drunk that's the reason you wish it never happened?"
"I guess." Emma shrugs. "I mean, as much as I love Ariel as a friend, I don't think it would have ever happened if I didn't have a drinking problem."
"Makes sense." Ruby says understandingly. "And just for your sake, Emma, I will stop mentioning it. Okay? I love you, dude, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you. And if me mentioning it makes you feel like crap because you're really trying to get past your drinking problem, then I will stop."
"Thanks, Rubes. You're the best." Emma smiles.
"I mean, I try." Ruby says jokingly as her phone vibrates. "Hey, can you check that? It's probably a text message from Belle."
"Yeah." Emma grabs Ruby's phone and reads the text aloud. "She wants to know when we're going to be back."
"Mm. Tell her like 6? Is that cool? I figured we could grab food before we go home." Ruby suggests.
"Fine by me. As long as we're home before 6:30" Emma replies as she types out the text to Belle. "Actually, there is one stop I'd like to make while we're there. Is that cool? Shouldn't take more than like ten minutes."
"Sure!"
"Great." Emma smiles, pulling out her own phone and dialing a number. She waits a little bit until the line goes to voicemail. "Hey, it's Emma. Listen, I'm coming back to San Diego today and I really need to talk to you... So, yeah. I hope you're around when I get there."
By lunchtime, Regina was definitely over work. She had two clients that cancelled last minute for a showing and then got a huge wave of calls simultaneously asking about multiple houses on their listing. Needless to say, it had been a long 5 hours. On top of that, Emma had just started a shoot at noon and Regina knew she couldn't talk to her girlfriend during her lunch like she's used to.
Instead, Regina decides to head home for her lunch for once. She parks her car in the garage and enters the house, hearing the TV from the living as soon as she walks in.
"Hey, Kat!" She calls out and she swears that Kathryn squeals excitedly before the sound of running echoes through the halls.
They meet in the kitchen and Kathryn throws her arms around Regina. "Oh my god! It feels like I haven't seen you in forever."
"Need to breathe." Regina coughs out as Kathryn hugs her tightly.
Kathryn backs away and lets go, smiling widely at her roommate. "You look absolutely radiant today! How was dinner last night?"
"A nightmare." Regina groans, grabbing a salad from the fridge.
"Oh?" Kathryn questions as they sit at the kitchen table together. "Why? Was Cora being crazy towards Emma?"
"Even worse... Lily showed up. And she told my mother Emma's secret and I found out that Emma has a drinking problem. I had to practically carry a drunken girlfriend out of Z's house and drive her home."
"Yikes." Kathryn bears her teeth. "How is Emma?"
"She's fine now. We talked about it this morning." Regina replies, taking a bite of her salad.
"Well, that's good." Kathryn smiles as she scrutinizes the way Regina looked. "I've just got to say, there's something different about you. Something... happy."
"Emma told me she loved me."
"What!?" Kathryn exclaims. "And what did you say back?"
"I told her I loved her, too. Because I do. Even with knowing she has an alcohol abuse issue, I- she's just Emma. What's not to love about her?" Regina admits honestly. "I think I've known since we became official. There's just something about her that makes me feel so whole."
"Aww. That's soooo sweet!" Kathryn squeals before gasping. "Did you guys...?"
"I don't like talking about my sex life. You know that. I feel awkward."
"Well you just answered my question." Kathryn smirks. "Soooo. How was it?"
"It was-" Regina pauses, her cheeks growing red. "Okay, it fucking amazing. She was being super careful and gentle and loving. She took her time and made it perfect."
"Can I finally ask you how big it is?" Kathryn asks.
"I don't think my best friend needs to know the size of my girlfriend's penis." Regina rolls her eyes.
"Oh come on! I'm just curious, is all, since she produces more estrogen than testosterone and that could make a difference. If you don't tell me, then I'll just ask Ruby." Kathryn says pulling out her phone.
"Okay, okay!" Regina stops her. "It's pretty big."
"Everyone has different definitions of big. Like how big we talking? 8 inches? What?" Kathryn presses.
"It's not like I whipped out a tape measure in the middle of sex to see just HOW big it was. But I can tell you it's definitely above average." Regina replies.
"Damn." Kathryn whistles. "Sounds like you lucked out."
"I lucked out with all things Emma." Regina smiles before her face falls. "Well, except for that drinking problem."
"Yeah, but you said you guys talked about it, right?"
"We did. And she said she really thought it had gotten better. She mentioned going back to her therapist to make sure she gets the help she needs." Regina explains.
"Well, that's good. It means she understands how it affects her life and the people around her, and can own up to her mistakes. It sounds like she really wants to change and be a better person, and not let it destroy her." Kathryn smiles, looking at Regina who seemed to be in deep thought. "I know you're worried about her, but I really think she's going to try her hardest to become sober."
"I know." Regina sighs. "I just- seeing her like that last night scared me, you know? Like what if she had just wandered off and ended up in a ditch? Or what if she tried to drive? It was terrifying to think about all the things that could've happened to her because she was wasted."
"Then don't think about it." Kathryn pats Regina on the back. "She's getting help and I think seeing Lily just broke her down to the only coping mechanism she knew. And she's probably not used to having you in that aspect, you know? To talk to? Just keep being there for her and I bet that'll help her realize she has more than one outlet."
"You're right. I need to trust that she'll be okay." Regina agrees, the sound of her phone ringing through the house. She holds up a finger to tell Kathryn to wait a minute, thinking it's Mary-Margaret calling her back to the office. "Hello?"
'Hey, babe.'
"Emma? Hey, I thought you had a shoot at noon?"
'Yeah, they pushed it back to 2, so we have some time to kill. So, I figured I'd call you and see if you wanted to do dinner later this evening?'
"I'd love that." Regina smiles and out of the corner of her eye, she can see Kathryn making kissy faces at her. Regina shoots a glare towards Kathryn before returning her attention to Emma. "What time?"
'Let's say 7 at Bestia?'
"Bestia!?" Regina exclaims. "Emma, that place is impossible to get into."
'I may have made reservations while I was on tour because I wanted to make up being gone for two weeks, and the earliest they had was a month in advance. So what do you say?'
Regina's heart melts at Emma's comment. "I say that's perfect."
'Great. Well, hey. I got to get going. Ruby wants to go to lunch now while we wait for the studio to be set up. I just wanted to hear your voice.'
"You're the sweetest, but okay. Have a fun time. Tell Ruby I say hi." Regina smiles and she watches as Kathryn points to herself and waves. "And that Kathryn says hi... to both of you, I think."
'Well, tell her we said hey back. Have a good rest of your day, babe. I'll see you when we're done here.'
"Okay. You, too, Emma." Regina replies. "I love you."
'I love you, too. Bye!'
"Bye." Regina hangs up the phone and looks at Kathryn who is staring at her with a smirk. "What?"
"You guys are too cute."
Emma inhales sharply as soon as Regina's off the phone. She looks at the house in front of her and holds her breath, working up the courage to get out of the care and go up to the front door. She closes her eyes and lets out a deep sigh, opening the car door and getting out. The door slams behind her as she carefully walks up the steps and stands on the front porch. She can feel the nervousness settle in her stomach as she stares at door. She wants to turn around and run away, but she knows she has to do this.
Her hand balls into a fist and hovers over the wood, and she's contemplating whether or not this was a good idea. She knocks on the door and waits patiently for it to open. A couple of minutes pass by and Emma's certain that no one's coming to the door, so she starts to turn away when the sound of the deadbolt unlocking pulls her back into reality.
Her attention is refocused back to the front door and person standing in the doorway. Emma looks at them with nervous eyes and a half smile.
"Hey... we need to talk."
Wait, cliffhanger? What?
You guys should know me, by now.
Also, who is Emma needing to talk to?
Guess you'll have to wait until next time!
Also, that was my first time writing like smut, so I hope it was worth the wait.