Theme 37: Eyes
Sesshomaru left as soon as they found a village.
Once the battle was over, they carried the Monk to the nearest settlement where Miko of the resident shrine cared for him and the others wounds. They offered to help Sesshomaru also, but he refused and it had nothing to do with the fact that they were human.
He just couldn't stay anymore. How could he say when his mind was in such turmoil? His chest was pounding so fast, his blood too hot.
Sesshomaru had scorned his attachment to the Miko, but it had never occurred to him that it could be so detrimental. Sesshomaru had never felt so terrible as he had when the risk of losing her became so clear. That feeling, that all-consuming icy numbness. Was that Pain?
He had something that was important to him, something he cared for, and yet at that moment he knew that if he ever lost it, he wouldn't know what to do anymore.
The thought of losing something he felt so strongly for was abysmal. He'd rather not care at all.
Sesshomaru cursed the Miko, he cursed Kagome for being something of importance and he cursed this Hanyou heart that had allowed it to happen.
Sesshomaru stumbled for a moment, then he realised his wound across the stomach was worse than he thought and the running had opened it wider. Now he was bleeding profusely and for some reason he wasn't healing. Why wasn't he…
Of course! In all the commotion with the shards, he'd almost forgotten, tonight was his human night!
Sesshomaru had another thing to curse.
His vision blurred and his body began to shudder violently. He had to find somewhere secure until he healed. Sesshomaru walked until he couldn't walk anymore and his body gave way in a forest clearing against a tree. He cursed his misfortune.
On the day before his human night, he always healed slowly, like a human, which meant he wouldn't be well again until the morning and even then it take a few days for his Hanyou body to fully recover. He hated being Hanyou.
Hour's passes and Sesshomaru lay there, slowly bleeding out. He had a hand on the wound to staunch the blood, an entirely new experience for him as his usual Youkai body healed instantaneously, even as a pup the worst injuries would be gone in a short while.
He raised his hand to stare at the blood from his wound, tickling down his wrist in thin sinewy rivers, his blank face showed nothing of his inner stir of emotion. That had been a difficult battle. Sesshomaru prided himself on his ability to master anything he attempted, but attempting to live someone else's life was another matter, he didn't know how long he could cope.
Watching the blood reminded him again of the blood from Kagome's wounds how easily she almost died and hollowness filled his stomach. If this was what caring for someone he had no interest in it. He couldn't not protect this body; he couldn't protect her. What was the point of caring for someone if they could so easily be taken away, he'd rather not have any attachments.
But while he said this, the memories of her smile, the scent of her hair, the sound of her voice, the sight of her blood…
What was he so scared of?
He was ashamed of his fear, it was unbecoming of one such as him, he should not fear anything. And yet he feared for the life of an insignificant human woman.
Humans. He once hated humans. They were weak, stupid, cruel, greedy and fragile they died so easy, he could he expect him to respect something like that. It was no different from respecting the insects he stepped on. Humans broke so effortlessly, they created weaknesses.
No. he must harden his heart! He could not be weak. This attachment has gone on long enough. There was no use caring for others, it was complete foolishness.
He would not be weak.
Suddenly there was a sound to the right, his ears twitched and he snarled viscously, in his present condition he couldn't move but that didn't mean he wouldn't kill anything that should think him weak.
It was a little human girl. She was dirty and ragged; her scent reeked with poverty and decay, her kimono stained with grime. Her eyes were a dull dirty brown. Sesshomaru snarled at her, though he saw no threat in her and knew any threat to be illogical, he wasn't taking any chances.
The girl looked surprised and scared, but she didn't run away. Instead she tried to approach, slowly at first, then her nerves got the better of her and she left. Sesshomaru felt his heckles lower.
A human, did that mean he was close to a village. The girl was likely to bring the villages out here and when they came there would be a fight. Sesshomaru was too weak for that now, he wouldn't need to conserve his strength. So he slept.
Later, a noise woke him. The sun had not yet set and he was dreading turning human. But had the villagers come already?
No, it was the girl. She stood behind a tree, Sesshomaru barley saw her outline with his inferior human eyes. He was already changing.
As the sun set, Sesshomaru's silver hair fell into endless black, his claws softened and disappeared and he knew he had become human. The girl had witnessed the change.
Sesshomaru waited for her to return to her village to retrieve her kinsmen. Instead she remained by the tree. After some time, she edged out and slowly stepped forward. He kept his head turned away from her.
She laid down a flask of water and left quickly. From the corner of his eye, Sesshomaru watched curiously. Did the child wish to care for him? Foolishness. He did not need her help, he didn't need anyone's help. Especially not a human.
The next day, he was Hanyou again. The night was ling and the injuries were still there. Sesshomaru spent most of his time asleep, conserving energy. He wondered if the group were searching for him, the discarded the thought immediately. He would not allow himself to think such things.
That night, the girl came again. This time she left a leaf with some food. Sesshomaru scoffed, he did not want her help. "Mind your own business girl" he said coldly "Your generosity's wasted, I don't eat human food."
The girl turned to him, her wide brown eyes looked sad. Those eyes were so filled with feeling, there were no secrets in them, too similar, he thought.
No, he firmly told himself. This was to stop. He would not allow himself to dwell on it. He had made his decision. He would allow himself to be weak to ever feel that…fear…again.
Why was he so afraid?
He glanced down at the food. She was caring for him. He did not know what to think. Humans were greedy, they hated his kind. His father was killed by humans. And yet, they continued to contradict themselves.
The monk was reliable; the slayer was loyal, Kagome was beautiful and the girl was kind. Humans were very different from what he had originally believed. He still thought them to be beneath him, he still knew their cruelty and their greed. But now…
He reached out and took some of the food. His old body may have been unable to eat human food, but Inuyasha's body needed it for restoration.
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