Callie woke the next morning, her head feeling surprising good considering how much wine she'd consumed before kicking Cristina out last night, although she was eternally grateful to her friend for listening to her and helping Callie clarify what she knew in her heart she had to do. Callie stood under the water letting the steam of the shower surround her while the hot water cascaded down her body soothing her somewhat so she could face the day ahead.
Callie blow dried her hair and dressed in slacks and a blouse with her leather jacket before opening the door to find Arizona wheeling Sofia out the door in her stroller. Arizona looked at Callie with a cautious smile.
"Hey. We're just off to the park. Did you want to see Sofia before you started your shift?"
Callie adjusted her handbag on her shoulder and gave Arizona a thin-lipped smile in return.
"Yeah, thanks." Callie leaned down and kissed Sofia on the cheek and tickled her tummy, her happy laughter filling Callie with joy. "You have fun with your Mama at the park okay."
Sofia nodded yes as Callie stood after giving her daughter one more kiss. Callie ran her hand through her hair and turned back to her wife as the elevator arrived. They rode together in silence until they were nearly at the lobby level. Callie cleared her throat and decided to pull the band-aid off.
"So if you want to, when I finish my shift tonight and after Sofia's asleep we can talk."
Arizona nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that. We have a lot to talk about."
"Yeah, we do. So I'll speak to you tonight then."
"Tonight."
With a nod the two of them parted ways, Callie to what no doubt would be a long shift at the hospital, while Arizona walked to the park to enjoyed the day with her daughter. As Sofia played with a couple of kids in the sand pit Arizona ran her hands through her blonde tresses and made a decision. She walked over, picked Sofia up and walked back to the apartment to get her car. Arizona drove a short distance to her hairdresser, Sofia back in her stroller and having her afternoon nap while she entered the building.
"Hey Arizona. I didn't know we had you down for an appointment today."
"No it's okay, you didn't. I know it's late notice but is Angelo available? I just need a trim."
The young girl behind the counter quickly scanned the appointment book and looked back at a hopeful Arizona.
"You're in luck. I can get you in if you're willing to wait about a half hour."
"No, that's perfect. I'll go and get myself a coffee and come back."
"Great, see you then."
Arizona returned a short time later and sat in the chair, her favourite stylist standing behind her and Sofia still napping in the stroller beside her.
"So you just want a trim, yes?"
"Actually, I want to cut it off so it's sitting right on my shoulders, maybe just below so I can let my waves and curls come out."
Arizona pulled out her cell phone and showed Angelo a picture of her and Callie when they started dating, their matching smiles radiating from the picture.
"So it looks like this."
Angelo looked at the picture and smiled. "I can do that. She's a pretty lady is Miss Callie, you're very lucky Arizona."
Arizona sighed. "Yeah, she is." Arizona whispered to herself. "And I was."
Angelo cut Arizona's hair while she stared at her phone. So much promise was in that photo, she could feel the love in every pixel on the screen. When he was done, Arizona looked at herself and smiled. Time for a new beginning and hopefully she would get it right this time.
Arizona arrived home and gave Sofia a snack while she flicked through her closet to find the perfect dress for tonight. Even though they were just talking she wanted to look nice. Arizona finally settled on the red one Callie loved her in. She showered after feeding and bathing Sofia and putting her in bed for the night. Just as she finished a knock sounded on the door. Arizona took a deep breath and opened the door to let Callie in, still dressed in the clothes she'd gone to work in. She looked exhausted so Arizona offered her a much needed glass of wine as they sat on opposite sides of the couch. Callie took a sip before she spoke.
"I know you've asked me to come to couples therapy with you but I don't think it's a good idea."
"Callie, please. I made one mistake." Arizona's eyes glazed over with unshed tears as Callie continued.
"That's the thing Arizona, I don't think it was a mistake."
"No Callie, please, don't say that. We can work it out, we just need to talk, we need to sit down and get everything out in the open."
Callie took Arizona's hand as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I know that I was happy, just so freaking happy to have my wife back but I have no doubt that you haven't been since the crash. I ignored it for so long because I just wanted my wife back. I know anyone would change after a near death experience and losing a limb, I'm not ignorant of that fact."
Arizona went to interrupt when Callie put up her hands to stop her. "And I know I wasn't there, it wasn't my experience. I'm not trying to say I know what you went through out there but you have to face it Arizona, we both have to face reality. You've not been the same since you came back. I don't expect you to be, but the fact is I can't be with this version of you. I can't be with a cheater and a liar. I mean, if you didn't love me anymore you could've just told me and walked away. You didn't have to screw that woman. Sometimes I wish I hadn't caught you, that you hadn't told me."
"I know I hurt you, but I didn't plan it. I wasn't going out looking for someone to screw, to cheat on you, but I did and I can't chance that. But I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I'm begging you, please, give me a chance to do that, to prove to you how much I love you, how much I need you in my life."
Callie took Arizona's hands again and looked her in the eye. "You shot me through the heart Arizona and you used that woman as the weapon do to it. I can't trust you and if I can't trust you I can't be with you. You need help Arizona, professional help. You need to decide what you want in life, who you want to be with, but you have to do it for you first. You can't do it for me, or for Sofia or for the sake of our marriage. You need to do this for you and only you."
"I want to and I will but I want to do it with you, together. I love you Callie, please don't doubt that. Please, come to therapy with me."
Callie stood and started to pace the room, desperate to keep her voice down and not wake Sofia. She had enough upheaval in her life, she didn't need to see or hear them fighting too. Callie took a deep breath and said what she came here to say.
"Arizona, there's no point in us going together until you figure out who you are now. Find yourself Arizona, find the real you inside and then we can decide if we still fit in each others lives anymore, if we can be together. Get the help you need and give me the time and space I need. I'm still so angry with you and I need to clear my head and I can't do that while I'm around you. I know this isn't what you want to hear but it's the best I can give you right now."
Arizona nodded and wiped the tear that rolled down her cheek. "I really have lost you, haven't I?" Arizona looked at Callie, her tears now flowing freely down her face.
"I can't answer that. I still love you Arizona, I can't just turn that off as much as I'd like to. I have to go. I'll pick up Sofia from day care after my shift tomorrow."
As Callie opened the door she turned back to her wife, Arizona sitting stunned on the couch, her shoulders slumped and the fight gone from her.
"By the way, I like your hair."
Hello, So I've tweaked the story line slightly and gone out of order 'cause I really wanted to have a scene to do with Arizona cutting her hair. And I know Callie in the show is so much more pissed off than I'm writing her and isn't across the hall but I guess that's why it's called fanfiction, otherwise I'd just be repeating the show verbatim. Thank you to everyone reading, commenting and favouriting, it's most appreciated. Tigersforever.