The truth shall set you free...

###

Han was angry and frustrated beyond words. How could a ship so small have a Gravity Well Projector? They had managed to disable the Pirate ship, but the damage to the hyperdrive would take some time to fix.

He climbed back up to the deck from the maintenance access pit and found Leia sitting beside his tool box, legs folded under her.

"I thought you might need some help," she said quietly.

"Thanks, but no," he grumbled before reaching inside the tool box and retrieving a hydrospanner. He disappeared inside the pit again.

"I can at least hand you the tools," she called down after him.

Han didn't bother to answer. He knew she was just trying to help, but he didn't feel like talking. He was furious at himself for letting them end up in this situation.

It had taken half a day to reach the nearest planet of Plasia by sublight speed. Having brought the Falcon down to the surface, they had landed in a deserted area, a stretch of beach just outside a forest. Han immediately began repairs to the hyperdrive. There wasn't room for more than one in the pit, so he and Chewbacca agreed to work in shifts.

"What exactly is wrong with it?" Leia's voice drifted down to him.

"Connectors to the flux capacitor," he groused.

"What?"

With a grunt of frustration, he pulled himself back up to glare at her. "Flux capacitor connectors," he enunciated slowly. "Do you feel better now that you know?" he growled sarcastically.

Her posture straightened dramatically and her expression hardened. She seemed to suck in her cheek for a moment then quickly stood and strode from the hold.

He glowered after her for a moment then lowered himself back down. Gripping the spanner, he inched a connector back towards the correct position. It was tedious work that did not occupy his mind.

It was likely that Leia was going to miss her meeting because of this. He had been pleased that she was going on a diplomatic mission for once and had volunteered to pilot her there. How quickly the situation had gone wrong.

He was going to have to do an inventory of spare parts. He had been certain he had a few connectors lying around. Now, they would have to fix the existing connectors and hope that it would do the trick. Otherwise, they would need to land close to one of Plasia's cities, risk being recognized, and purchase new connectors. They were all on the Empire's most wanted docket and Plasia had a strong Imperial presence. It was not a planet that was sympathetic to the Rebellion. Had there been any other choice, Han would have taken it. He damned his luck once again.

He was hesitant to admit, even to himself, that there was more bothering him that their current situation. The countdown to his release from his contract with the Rebellion had begun. And his feelings on the matter were mixed, to say the least.

Four years…he had spent close to four years with the Alliance. It was by far the longest he had ever stayed in one place since he had been barely more than a kid and had left Corellia without looking back. And although the Alliance had changed locations many times over, staying with this group of Rebels was akin to staying in one place. In some ways, it felt as if he'd been with them forever. And yet somehow, it seemed like it was just yesterday that he had first seen Leia standing in the middle of the slaver's chamber, stolid and unafraid. He would never have guessed the impact she would come to have on him.

As he worked out his frustration on the sturdy connectors, painstakingly bending them back into place, his level of aggravation began to lower. With that came a mild sense of guilt for taking out his anger on Leia.

Why were things never easy between them? Moments of genuine accord seemed all too few. He constantly felt like there was no solid ground between them.

A sinking feeling pervaded his chest. He was going to have to seek her out later and make things better. Without being obvious about it.

###

Leia sat on a dry patch of sand just shy of the point where the sea ebbed to lap the shore. She had cast her shoes aside and allowed her toes to sink into the softness of the sand. Knees raised, she gazed at the golden rays that streaked from the lowering orb and strewed ribbons of orange and yellow across the clouds dotting the sky.

Beauty was so rare in her life these days. She allowed herself to abandon all thought and simply enjoy the moment. Crossing her arms around her legs, her canted head to rest her cheek against a knee. A rare sense of peace settled over her. She remained content in the moment until she sensed something…inexplicably, she knew Han was approaching. She remained unmoving but her inner tranquility was shattered.

Without preamble, he dropped onto the sand beside her. Her gaze remained on the sky as his hand thrust a bottle in front of her face, too close for her to identify it. She raised her head back and saw that it was a Corellian Ale, cap removed. Without acknowledging him, she took it, lowered her legs, and threw back a swallow.

"You must've needed that drink," he observed, amusement coloring his voice.

Leia said nothing, eyes on the ocean waves as they approached and retreated, teasing the shore. From the corner of her eye, she could see him drinking an ale of his own. She took another sip and placed the bottle beside her, pushing it into the sand so that it stayed upright.

"Nice place to get stranded, huh?" Han was staring at the burnt orange that met the horizon.

Finally, she turned to look at him. He sat with one knee up and the other leg bent behind that foot. The arm closest to Leia leaned back to support his weight, while the opposite one rested on the raised knee, hand holding his ale. He looked more relaxed than she had seen him in a long while. His eyes quickly caught her watching him and there was a softness there, something vulnerable that she couldn't define.

"I suppose if we had to be stranded somewhere, here is the best possible option," she agreed at last.

One side of his mouth pulled upwards and that touch of vulnerability was gone. "Well, maybe a starship yard that sold parts would be better."

Leia turned her gaze back to the horizon but no longer truly saw its wonder.

"Hope Luke's doin' okay," Han said quietly.

His words wove a melancholy web through her insides. She worried about Luke every day, even as she tried to force her mind not to think about him.

"You're a real chatter box today, Princess."

She sighed, picked up her ale, and took a long swallow. "Sorry. I guess I'm not the best company right now." She saw him tip the bottle back against his mouth. When he lowered it, his eyes were on her for a long moment before he spoke.

"You want me to go an' leave you alone?" His voice was low and serious.

Did she? She thought about it briefly as she downed the last of her ale and replaced the bottle on the sand. "No," she finally replied. "Stay." When her eyes flicked to him she saw his lips curl to a small smile as he drained the last of his ale from the bottle and tossed it aside.

Leaning back on his elbows, he straightened his legs. He turned his head to stare at her and tipped it to one side.

"What?" she asked defensively.

"The light."

"The light?"

"Yeah. From the sunset." He looked away suddenly, seemingly self-conscious.

Leia was beginning to grow irritated. "What about it?"

His eyes were on the waves now and a sneer grazed his lips. "Never mind."

An annoyed huff escaped her. He could be so frustrating.

So, why can I never stop thinking about him?

She had asked herself that question countless times.

"You might miss your meeting," he declared.

"I know." She sighed. "Will you know by morning how long this is going to take?"

"I should. We'll see how much Chewie gets done in his shift."

"I'll send a subspace message in the morning. If we can't make it in time, perhaps the Castile Heads of State will wait."

"Hope so."

Her head spun to look at him. "You do? I thought you don't care about the Rebellion?"

His eyes flicked from the water to her and back. "I don't," he grunted. "Just don't wanna let you down."

There was a hitch in her heartbeat and she took a deep breath, turning her gaze to the sand. She began to trace wiggly lines with a finger. "So, you don't care about the Rebellion…" She paused, took a breath and finished quietly, "But, you care about me?" Her finger stilled as she held a breath, not knowing what response to expect. When none came, she looked up at him to find him staring at her intently, the hazy, orange light shadowing the curve of his lips.

"Yeah," he finally replied, voice low and deep, eyes seeming to smolder into hers.

The thud of her heart became an ache. "Yeah?" She almost forgot to breathe.

He continued to stare at her with that captivating, smoky gaze. Leia wanted to be in his arms, in spite of everything, but he was too far from her and she couldn't decide how to gracefully close the gap between them. Trying to appear casual, she turned to face him and leaned on one arm, angling a bit closer, yet not close enough.

"You'll be leaving soon," she said softly, eyes remaining on his.

His gaze softened and fell away, mouth opening with no sound. He frowned slightly and there was silence. Leia scooted the tiniest bit closer.

"Do you ever think about staying on?" she asked, voice still quiet.

His expression was troubled as he turned and twisted onto his side, leaning on one elbow to face her. His hands fiddled together and he stared down at them for a time, picking at the cuticle of a thumb. "Can't say I see a reason to," he finally mumbled to his fingers. His brow tensed then smoothed again.

Her resolve faltered and words caught in her throat. She wished she didn't care, yet couldn't stop herself. This exasperating man was in her heart. What would happen when he was gone? Would her heart go with him? An uneasy pang thundered in her stomach at the thought. She watched the small movements of his fingers with consternation.

"What if you were offered a commission?"

His fingers stilled and he looked at her, brow lowered sharply. "That's no reason to stay."

Leia lowered herself to the sand, mimicking his position so that their eyes were level with each other. "What would be a reason?"

"I dunno," Han replied gruffly. "It'd have to be a damned good one."

He was too defensive and, as almost always happened, Leia closed up into herself with a sigh. When would she learn that pursuing anything with Han would be a mistake? Her head and her heart were never in accord. The day that he soared off into the vast galaxy, never to be seen again, was going to fill her with loss. Just thinking about it made her heart sink heavily in her chest.

"What about you, Your Highness? You ever think of taking off and leaving the Rebellion behind?"

Her answer was instantaneous. "No."

"Never?"

"Never."

"Hm."

"What does that mean?"

He shrugged. "Just, I can't imagine feeling that much dedication to somethin'."

Of course he couldn't. Leia stared down at the sand, the fading light making it appear as one, smooth expanse. "It's going to be strange once you're gone."

"You gonna miss me, Princess?" His voice was low and husky and it drew her eyes to him instantly.

She felt her heart skip a quick beat and just stared at his somber expression for a moment, trying to force words from the constriction of her throat. "Yes," she finally whispered earnestly.

Like a tractor beam, his gaze held her unrelentingly and she was transfixed. Abruptly, the moment ended when his eyes dropped away.

She waited hopefully for her sentiment to be returned, but no such words were forthcoming. Swallowing her disappointment, she went back to tracing shapes in the sand with one finger.

"Hey," Han said suddenly. "You ever play this when you were a kid?"

She looked up to find him drawing a large circle in the sand between them. He looked up at her and she smiled with sudden understanding.

"How Many Planets?"

He grinned back. "Yeah."

A wave of childhood nostalgia warmed her and she reached out and drew the tiniest circle in the center of Han's large one.

"Oh, you're one of the ones that starts off small."

She smiled up at him through memories of long, hot days, playing in the dirt, her proper aunts berating her for getting so filthy.

He made a tight ring around her circle and they took turns, back and forth, until the original, largest circle was filled. Slowly, carefully, Leia made one last circle inside the largest ring. Han stared down, finger poised for one more move.

"Ahh," he exclaimed in disappointment.

"I won!" She raised a hand in triumph, grinning at him in a rare moment of carefree disregard.

"You got lucky." He pointed a finger at her and leaned closer, a mock frown on his face.

"Don't be a sore loser." She pointed back at him, lips tugged upwards teasingly.

Now, he was grinning in response, one side of his mouth struggling to lower as his eyes attempted a frown. Instead, he chuckled lightly, finger still raised towards her.

Feelings of playful happiness bubbled in her chest, buoying, and making her feel lighter than she had in so long. In a sudden, impulsive move, she grabbed his hand gently in hers and laced their fingers together. Somehow, it resulted in him leaning closer to her, and Leia wasn't sure if she had pulled him or if he had moved of his own accord.

Slowly, their mirth fell away, eyes growing serious, smiles melting to something intense and emotional.

She saw it then, clearly and without question; the cautious longing and desire in the way he looked at her, eyes dark and hooded, sweeping from her eyes, lips, then back again. Her feelings were mirrored in every nuance of his expression.

Unwittingly, her thumb began to stroke the side of his hand in a sensual caress that was so natural, she didn't realize she was even doing it for a long moment.

She couldn't resist drawing closer to him, pulled like the waxing tide against the seabed. Mere inches apart now, she waited expectantly, and when he made no move to kiss her, she threw all caution aside and softly pressed her lips to his, eyes falling delicately shut.

It felt like a breathless eternity before his mouth began to move tenderly against hers, and Leia felt weightless, as if she were floating outside her body in zero-g. She placed one hand softly on the back of his neck, the scruffy hairs tickling her skin as his tongue glided against hers, slow and sensuous. Her heart hammered with a violent fervor, the pulse resounding through her entire body, begging to be one with this man that she simply could not expunge from her being.

As she surrendered fully, his mouth withdrew unexpectedly and his hands pushed gently at her shoulders as he extricated himself from her embrace. Disappointment swelled and gusted within and, for a moment, she felt so crestfallen, it seemed as if she simply could not handle it. As he sat up and away from her, she blinked and lowered eyes that felt heavy with moisture.

His harsh breathing sounded loud in the near-darkness and Leia couldn't imagine what he might be thinking. She wanted to ask why, but couldn't force words past the choking tightness of her throat.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" he asked in a strained voice.

Baffled, it took a moment for the response to expel from her lips. "What?!"

He sat stiffly with his knees up, crossed arms resting on top. "What is it, Princess?" he asked in a rough, resentful voice, staring straight ahead. "Are you lonely? Horny? What is it?"

Face aflame, her mouth fell open in dumb shock. It took a moment to recover her voice. "What do you mean?"

His head swiveled to look at her and his voice was caustic, but his eyes held a galaxy of hurt and defensiveness. "I'm tired of bein' your consolation prize."

Stunned, she gaped at him again. "That's what you think? That's how you think I feel about you?" Her voice came out thick with barely restrained emotion.

His body spun in a quick arc to face her and now his expression was blazing with anger. "I dunno how you feel, Sweetheart, but I do know that I'm only good enough for you when you need some sort of comfort or distraction, or something else I don't understand."

How could he possibly misunderstand her so? "I thought you knew me better than that," she said sadly.

He snorted derisively. "I never knew you." He stood and began trudging across the sand towards the Falcon.

Leia jumped up, sprinted after him, and grabbed him by the arm. "Wait!"

Han spun to face her. "What do you want? What do you want from me?"

Hand still clutching his arm, she lowered her voice and spoke more softly. "You really don't know what I want?"

"No! Probably a prince or something!"

Completely taken aback, she could only blink at him for a moment. "A prince?" she finally sputtered. "You think I want a prince?"

He continued to glare at her defiantly.

"Why in the worlds would you think that?" Her brow furrowed above eyes lit with confusion.

"You're a Princess," he snarled. "Isn't that what Princesses want? I know you don't want a no one like me! A smuggler who has nothing." His jaw was taut, eyes the dark before a storm.

Leia tried to wrap her mind around what he was saying. Her anger was rising and she tried to curb it to salvage the situation. "I have never, ever thought of you that way," she said in a careful, measured tone.

Han's chin rose in defiance. "You're so full of it, Your Highnessness."

She was stunned by how out-of-hand the conversation had gotten. Swallowing the sting of anger, she stood haughtily and looked him unflinchingly in the eyes. "I don't know how you've arrived at these conclusions, but I assure you, you are wrong."

"I heard you," he sneered, taking a step closer to her.

"What do you mean, you heard me?"

"I heard you say it! That I'm a no one, a smuggler who has nothing." His eyes narrowed further and his face darkened. "And that I'm your slave and you own me."

Leia was stunned. "I never said that," she whispered vehemently.

"I heard you!"

"When?"

"On Naboo, the first time I brought you there. You said it to your mother!"

She stared at his hostile, furious expression and knew that he believed every word he was saying. But, she had never felt that way about him. Against her own will, she had been attracted to him almost immediately, his compassion and sacrifice for Chewie earning her trust and softening her heart until she had no defenses against him. It felt like forever that she had wanted him.

And on Naboo…on Naboo, her mother had noticed she had feelings for Han and had been against it…Leia had instantly grown defensive and angry…

Oh! The Gods and all the stars! It came back to her in a shattering flash.

"Han, no! I remember now! I remember what happened!"

He glared at her knowingly, almost triumphantly, and crossed his arms over his chest.

Placing her hands on his arms, she gazed up at him with pleading eyes. "It wasn't what you think, I promise you."

"I know what I heard."

She shook her head. "I promise you, it's not what you think."

"Fine," he grunted. "So, tell me."

She hesitated a moment, gathering her thoughts, nerves standing on edge. "We got to Naboo," she began quietly. "My mother noticed pretty quickly by the way I looked at you that…" She trailed off, averting her eyes. Speaking the words to emote her feelings was no easier than it had been before. "She realized I had feelings for you." A sudden sense of nakedness came over her, emotions she had tried so hard to hide now laid bare. She continued, eyes on her fingers gripping his arms. "She kept warning me not to give my heart to you because you wouldn't stay with the Rebellion. She felt you would only hurt me in the end." Stealing a glance at him, Leia noted that his expression held no change. "I grew tired of listening to her and accused her of discouraging me due to your…lack of status," she finished lamely. She met his hard gaze. "And that's what you heard. It really wasn't what you thought at all." Leia looked up at him then, eyes beseeching.

He appeared unyielding as he shook his head back and forth. "I know what I heard."

"You heard only a fragment and it was completely out of context."

His expression remained hard and fixed. Hands still clutching at his arms, Leia closed her eyes momentarily, struggling for a way to mend this misunderstanding. Fear of rejection and the awful anticipation of losing him had kept her from expressing her feelings to him. Perhaps this was the moment of truth. All or nothing…

Loosening her grip on his arms, she slid her hands to his and gently took them in hers, forcing him to drop his arms and allow her to hold his hands. His expression turned expectant yet distrustful.

"Han," she said in a considerably softer tone. "We've known each other for years now. And not one day has gone by that I haven't worried about the day you would be gone." She dropped her eyes to his chest, feeling suddenly too vulnerable. But, she had to do this. She couldn't let things between them continue this way. Forcing her gaze back to his, she took a deep breath, swallowed her pride, and continued.

"When we met, I was amazed by what you were willing to do for Chewie. You acted like you didn't care about anyone or anything, but here you were, giving up years of your life for him. And even though you drove me crazy, that earned you a soft spot in my heart."

His eyes had lowered and his mouth was a stoic, hard line, but Leia could see that he was slowly giving in to her words. She tugged at his hands and his gaze met hers reflexively.

"I've been too scared to tell you how I feel about you…and I'm still scared. At times, I've seen in your eyes that you care about me, that you have feelings for me like I have for you." He looked away again, and the angry defensiveness was gradually fading, replaced with a hint of vulnerability. She lowered her voice. "I don't know what it is about you, but it was there between us from the start. Every time I took a step towards you, you took one back and I never knew why. I kept trying to get over you, to stop having these feelings. But no matter how hard I fought against it, what I feel for you never lessened. It somehow managed to grow stronger.

"Now I know why you always walked away. I don't want you to walk away this time." She could hear the near-desperation in her own voice, the pleading tone. Taking his face in hands that were slightly tremulous, she tipped his head up so that they were looking into each other's eyes. "I hurt you. I didn't even know I hurt you." She rose up on her toes and placed her lips close to his. "Let me make it up to you," she whispered against his lips.

So close, she could not see his eyes, but she could feel the heat of his breath. Then, his lips bore down on hers, warm and gentle, and nothing else mattered. His hand cupped the back of her head and one arm clutched her around the waist, pressing her against him. It was blissful relief, giving in fully to the deep longing that had been straining at her senses for so long.

Too soon, he let go of her completely and stepped back, squeezing his eyes closed, his breath coming in gasps. Sharp, shocked disappointment flooded her, waves of frustration and heartache dragging her eyes shut.

"I can't," he whispered harshly. "Right now…I just can't."

She opened her eyes and looked at him. It was dark now and she could just see his pained expression in the moonlight.

His eyes were on the sand between them and he ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry," she said, hearing the sorrow in her own voice.

He raised a hand to her, as if to gesture for her to stop. "I need to think. I can't think right now." A sudden breeze ruffled his hair and the tips stood on end.

"All right." Numbness stole over her. She couldn't fall apart.

He nodded dully and turned to stagger back to the Falcon. Leia watched him climb the ramp and disappear from sight.

She turned and dropped to the sand in a heap of pain and regret.