"Welcome back Arizona."

"Thank you Dr Bond."

"Please, it's always Stacy."

Arizona smiled a little. "Okay."

Stacy leaned back into her chair and picked up her pen and paper. "So, how's your week been?"

Arizona made herself comfortable on the couch and folded her hands in her lap. "Well, let's just say it's been one for the books. First, my wife is being sued by a patient. Second, she calls her father to come help her out and she hasn't told him about us separating so I had to endure a talking to. And let me tell you this, my father in law is not someone who likes to see his daughter in pain. I was terrified he was going to throw me against a wall or something."

Stacey let a small smile creep across her face as Arizona continued with her ramble. "And then third, she invited me over for dinner so we could finally sit down and talk about us. I told her about my realization, that I hurt her because I was mad she broke her promise and that I was getting back at her. Callie told me she's can't keep feeling guilty about the promise she made not to cut off my leg and she's right. I knew I was going to lose my leg but I needed something to hang onto and then when I lost my leg I needed someone to blame. It was wrong and it was selfish and I don't want to repeat that kind of behaviour ever again. "

"Well it's a step in the right direction that you understand why you did what you did. What else did you talk about?"

Arizona squirmed a little before she answered. "Callie told me she lost our baby when I was out in the woods after the plane crash."

"Wow, okay. Why don't you tell me a little more about the baby."

"It all started a couple of months before the crash. Everything had been so hard and it would've been nice to have something positive and fun to look forward to. Callie wanted to carry the baby so we went to a clinic an hour away to have some tests done. Callie was worried she couldn't have kids again after Sofia."

"And that's the result of the car accident you told me about, correct?"

"Yeah. Callie nearly died and Sofia was born so early she was only one pound, one ounce. She was so little, I remember how small she was and how she nearly didn't make it. But when I look at her now, she's thriving and healthy. She's my little miracle." Arizona blinked away a tear as she pictured those days, her baby a bunch of tubes and wires and her girlfriend, no fiancé, fighting for her own life for so long.

"So what happened after you had the tests done?"

"Well, to our surprise, everything came back normal. There was no reason we couldn't have a baby. We picked a donor and we ah...we used the turkey baster technique and after making love I impregnated Callie with the sperm we chose."

"What happened next?"

"We decided not to dwell on whether it worked or not and tried to put it out of our minds until it was time for the test." Arizona sighed. "But then Nick happened."

"Who is Nick?"

"He was my brother's best friend. My brother Tim died in his arms. He was my link to Tim, my rock after he died. He came to the hospital with what we all thought was a slow-growing, fairly uncomplicated form of cancer that we could take out and he would be fine. But the stubborn ass left it for six years and used some hokum remedy from a monk. He let it get so bad by the time he came to me there was nothing we could do. It invaded his heart and he was going to die. I was so angry at him." Arizona wiped at the tear that slowly rolled down her cheek.

"What happened after you found this out?"

"I had to get on the plane to Boise to be a part of the twin's surgery. And while I sat in the woods and all I could think of was my wife and child and my parents and how I was gonna lose Nick too, Callie had a miscarriage. On the third night I was gone our baby was no more. She said she was selfish in keeping it to herself and that she never told me about the baby because she wanted to put her feelings aside to help me and I understand that. Callie pushed me to get better so she could grieve for our child, but she also pushed me so I could get better for myself. But here's the thing, is it okay for me to be pissed at her for not telling me a long time ago? I mean, this was my kid too. I had a right to know."

"I agree you had a right to know and holding in your anger only makes resentment and distrust grow but the key is to tell the other person that you are angry and not hide your feelings. Open and honest communication is the only way we can move forward as people and as partners. Even if the other person doesn't react the way you'd hoped or wanted at least you've told the truth and they can understand how you feel and what you're going through. If you don't tell Callie how you feel, how is she supposed to know?"

Arizona nodded. "That's true. She accused me of hiding behind a fake smile and I did. I didn't want to, but things just felt so hard that sometimes it was easier to pretend everything was fine and not make waves."

"As I said, communication is always answer and that is something we'll be working on in the weeks to come. Tell me though, how do you think you would've reacted had Callie told you about the baby while you were still angry about your leg? While you were still angry at her and the world for everything that had gone wrong."

Arizona thought for a moment before she spoke. "You know that movie Jaws?" Stacey shook her head yes as Arizona continued. "Well you remember that scene when Hooper and Quint are in the wheelhouse the night before they confront the shark? I think it would've been like that."

Stacy turned her head quizzically to the side. "How do you mean?"

"Sitting there comparing our scars, trying to one up the other and see who's the most hurt. I don't want to do that with Callie, we should be sharing our pain together. I don't hate her and I'm trying to let go of any anger I have about my leg and I understand why she got so sick of waiting for me to get better because I wasn't willing to do it for myself. She needed me to be there for her too and I let her down. But there's this tiny part of me that's angry with her for not telling me. I feel like she didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth about the baby just like I didn't trust her enough to tell her how I was really feeling. We keep going around in circles."

"Sometimes we get stuck in a cycle and it's extremely difficult to break out of it, but the fact you recognise that now you can make the first steps towards changing it. Why do you think Callie didn't trust you enough to tell you about the baby?"

Arizona sighed. "Aside from trying to spare me pain, I think she did it because it was her loss and not mine. Just like she wasn't in the woods and just like she didn't lose a leg I didn't lose our baby. This was her pain and not mine. But as I said before we should be sharing our pain not trying to make it though on our own."

"I couldn't agree more. Aside from your infidelity, you and Callie don't communicate and you have trust issues. You both need to change that habit before one or both or you does something that will finish you forever."

Arizona nodded. "I made myself a promise when I left here last week. I've told my father in law and I've told Callie and I've told myself. I will get better for my family and for me but I need Callie to be patient with me while I work through my issues. At the same time I need her to meet me halfway and we sort of did that at the end of our fight."

"What happened?"

Arizona felt her heart beat faster when she talked about her and Callie, just like it always did. "I asked her if there was someplace in her heart where she still loved me. And she said 'How about we start with coffee'."

Stacey smiled at Arizona as she put down her notepad and pen. "I think that is an excellent idea. Both of you need to take your time and work through your issues together, but most of all, you need to be patient with each other. You can't rush it and you can't force it. You've done that before and obviously that didn't work at all. Talk to Callie about how you feel and don't hold back. Let her know she can do the same with you. You are partners, everything should be shared no matter how little or insignificant you think it is. Most of the time it's the little things that grow into the big things that hurt us. That's all the time we have for today Arizona. I'll see you next week."

"Thanks again." Arizona walked to the door and headed home. She arrived at the apartment lobby only to bump into Callie and Sofia coming home. Sofia reached out her hands for Arizona as soon as she saw her.

"Mama!"

"Hey big girl. How was your day?" Arizona mouthed a 'hi' to Callie as she pushed the button and watched her daughter and wife chat away. Arizona carried Sofia inside the elevator and up to level five as Callie stood silently beside them. Her father was returning tomorrow and hopefully he would be able to help her like he'd promised. As she looked at Arizona and Sofia again it almost looked and felt like they were a real family. Almost.