Ah, Bespin sweet bespin. Always surprises in store there for our favorite couple...
But for now, they can just enjoy each other.
###
"Han Solo, are you asking me out on a date?"
At her teasing tone, Han grimaced, wondering when was the last time he had taken a woman on an actual date. Too long ago to remember.
` "Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am," he admitted stoically. He had asked her to go to dinner with him, not even realizing the implications.
She placed a hand on his arm. "I would love to. I'll go get changed." With a reassuring squeeze, she turned and disappeared into one of the three bedrooms in their Cloud City suite. Han's eyes burned into the doorway behind her.
With a deep sigh, he meandered to the viewport and stared out at the breathtaking view.
Bright, white, fluffy clouds billowed as far as the eye could see, a sight that was dazzling even to someone as well-travelled as Han. He might have enjoyed it more had he not felt so off-balance.
What was he doing? His feelings were so jumbled. He kept telling himself that he needed to reign things in with Leia; that everything was moving faster than he could process. But, then she was in front of him and suddenly his resolve dissipated to nothing and he just melted to molten liquid before her eyes.
It was not in his nature to simply trust what someone presented. In matters such as these, he led with his head rather than his heart. The heart could be too easily fooled. And although he had often been accused of thinking with something other than his brain, he had never been guilty of thinking with his heart.
That moment on the streets of Nar Shadda came back to him. The bargain that had gotten him into this mess. But, that had been based on an attack of conscience, not heart.
At least, that was what he preferred to think.
His time with the Rebellion was running out and Han could almost see the minutes slipping by on a mental chrono. What would he do when it was time to leave? Before, there had never been a question. Regardless of his feelings for the Princess, his intention had always been to take his ship and his co-pilot and hit the skies for parts unknown. That had been the beauty of acquiring the Millennium Falcon. He now had the means to go anywhere he wanted, to do anything he wanted. And that was the greatest freedom of all.
But, every moment he now spent with Leia seemed to wear him down, eroding his wayfaring nature. He couldn't begin to imagine what he was going to do; it felt as if the galaxy were splitting in two and he had one foot on each side as the chasm beneath his feet grew wider.
The sound of the door sliding open behind him jolted him from his thoughts, and he turned to find Leia walking daintily towards him, a small smile at her lips. His mouth opened as he took in her appearance, eyes roaming her from head to toe.
Her dress was mostly yellow, woven tightly, like a basket, with tones of lavender across the bodice. The woven fabric hugged her curves, accentuating her hips then flowing to streams of yellow and lavender. Her dark, luscious hair flowed freely down her back in loose waves.
She was stunning and Han found himself at a loss for words.
"You look…beautiful," he finally declared.
Her eyes lowered bashfully but her smile was brilliant.
"You should wear girl's clothes more often," he added, one side of his mouth curling upwards.
She laughed lightly, a sound Han never seemed to get enough of.
"Not exactly practical when working for the Alliance."
He couldn't disagree. Suddenly, he felt underdressed, but there was nothing he could do about it. In an uncharacteristically gallant gesture, he offered her his arm.
With a pleased smile, Leia curled her arm around his bicep. Utterly distracted from his worries, warmth coursed through him as they headed to dinner.
###
Illuminators cast a soft glow in the otherwise dark courtyard that was ringed by towers peppered with an array of windows and lights. Hand in hand, Han and Leia walked in an unhurried manner towards the fountain at the center. A family of four passed them, and when one of the children smiled at him brightly, Han smiled back unwittingly. Leia caught his eye and was grinning with pleasure.
Dinner had consisted of good food, easy conversation, and heavy flirting. He had agreed to a walk afterwards, although what he really wanted was to take her back to their suite.
When they were standing before the lights of the fountain, the soft, rushing sound of water surrounding them, Leia turned to face him, firmly keeping his hand in hers.
"Tell me about your childhood on Corellia," she said softly.
He closed down instantly, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, eyes falling away. "Not much to tell," he said in a dispassionate tone.
"Of course there is," she replied lightly. "You were born…then what?"
He managed to pull his hand away without much force and turned to gaze, unseeing, into the gush of water that spilled up from the center to trickle down the sides to the pool below. He shrugged. "The usual."
She didn't allow him to distance himself physically, only came closer, spun to face the fountain, and clasped his arm gently. "What about your family?" Her voice was low but unrelenting.
His wall had risen and he didn't plan on lowering it. "Not much to say about 'em."
She regarded him quietly; he could feel her eyes on him. "Why don't you like to talk about your past?"
He shrugged again. "It's not that interestin'."
"It is to me."
He bent one leg in a casual posture. "Trust me, it's not."
"Why not let me be the judge of that?"
Judge…exactly what he was afraid of; how she would judge his past. If she had ever thought he was no one that would only confirm it.
A whisper of frustration escaped his lips. "What does it matter?"
"It matters."
"Why?"
"Because I want to know you."
His eyes were quickly drawn to her and she was staring up at him earnestly. "You know me," he said gruffly.
She grabbed his free hand and tugged him to face her. "Do I, Han? When you've kept me at arms' length for years? I don't know a thing about you from before the day I met you."
"None of that matters."
"I know that what happened to me before I met you matters. It's made me who I am today."
"Well, yeah, you're a Princess." He heard the beginnings of a sneer in his voice, knew he should bite it back, but was unable.
"That has nothing to do with it," she said defensively.
"That has everything to do with it." He yanked his hands away and spun in the other direction. Her hands were suddenly on his arms, rubbing in a soothing, downward motion.
"Han, what is it? We were having such a lovely evening." The hurt in her voice was almost his undoing.
Still facing away from her, his voice came out dull and apathetic. "Leia, this isn't me. I don't do this."
"Do what?"
"Any of this. Go on dates, have…relationships. Or whatever this is." His muscles were taught, his whole body radiating discomfort.
Her hands left his arms and she came around to stare at him soberly. "Do you want this to be a relationship?"
The question made him squirm. "I don't know…Do you?" He was both anxious and afraid to hear her answer.
She glanced shyly at the ground and bit her lip. Her eyes returned to his and she spoke tentatively. "Would it scare you if I said yes?"
He swallowed and something clenched in his stomach. "I dunno."
With a half-hearted smile, she tilted her head to one side. "Well, what do you know?"
He met her smile with a lazy grin. "Not much." His eyes lowered to the ground and the grin faded. He took a deep breath. "Leia…I've fought this for so long…I don't know how to just give in."
Leia took his hand in hers and brought it to her lips, an action that immediately drew his eyes and wrenched his heart. She lingered a moment then lowered his hand but did not release it.
"Just do what you feel."
"That's not so easy." The words pushed out from deep inside him.
"Why not?"
"Cause I don't know what I feel."
She stared at him for a long moment, eyes intent and searching. "I think you do," she said softly.
Moving closer to him, she tipped her head up, eyes beseeching, lips beckoning. Part of him felt a strong urge to run away; the larger part found her impossible to resist. His mouth lowered to hers and the kiss was absorbing, all consuming and endless. Emotions stirred inside him again, threatening his defenses. He could almost feel himself wavering within, as he fought against the current that swept him away. Her gentle hand went to the nape of his neck and he finally succumbed completely, forgetting everything else in the galaxy.
The kiss ended but their lips remained just barely touching, breath intermingling sweetly. What was this woman doing to him? She seemed to threaten everything he knew of himself.
"It feels like I've wanted you forever," she whispered against his lips.
Overwhelmed, he gently pressed his forehead to hers, eyes remaining closed.
"It's okay if you don't want to talk about your past," she added softly. "I can accept that. It's the future that worries me."
Han stiffened with a grimace. He stood to his full height and opened his eyes, but could not bring himself to meet hers. "I can't make any promises, Leia…"
"I know," she answered quickly and stoically.
He didn't know what else to say.
"I've decided it's worth it."
Her statement caught his attention and he was looking at her before he knew it. "What is?"
"Being with you." Her eyes were large and solemn.
"Whadda you mean?"
She averted her gaze but spoke steadily. "I've decided that, even if you leave, even if I get hurt…" Her eyes rose to his. "It will have been worth it. To be with you now."
Han couldn't fathom her words. Had anyone, ever, in his entire life, felt this way about him? How could he possibly mean that much to her?
"Come on, Flyboy," she said in a sudden, light tone. "Let's go back to our rooms. I've had enough nightlife, I want you all to myself now."
Han blinked at the sudden shift of mood and allowed her to lead him away.