Chapter 18

Christmas time was around. It was the night of the 23rd to be exact. Emil was in the living room playing an intense Mario cars match with Mathias whilst Lukas was sitting between the two reading a book, occasionally having Emil or Mathias interrupt his reading with angry competitive comments being thrown around.

"Don't you dare throw banana peels!" Emil growled as he moved along with the cursor to tun his vehicle. He was playing as Yoshi and Mathias as princess Peach. Mathias laughed and pressed to throw turtle shells instead.

"You ASS" Emil shouted as his vehicle swerved off the road and instantly making Mathias win. Lukas snored glancing up at the screen from his book.

"Serves you right for the rude spikes from last round." Mathias grinned at Emil and then glanced at Lukas for a bit and noticed the book. "whatcha reading?"

"Great Expectations…" Lukas replied, not lifting a look from the book. Mathias raised an eyebrow. Emil put the controller down.

"I'm getting coffee, you two okay?" Emil pouted a little as he spoke still sore from the lost of that round.

"I'd like one." Lukas spoke up. Mathias grinned and shook his head at Emil only to glance back at the punk with the thick old book in his hands. Emil rolled his eyes and smirked as he walked off. He was definitely going to take his time making the coffee.

"Didn't know you were into classics." Mathias leaned in a little to the punk who looked up a little at him and he rolled his pretty indigo eyes.

"I read as much as the next guy. Nothing special." Lukas mumbled to the nerd.

"You know, you should totally read aloud." Lukas gave Mathias a look. The nerd smiled a little as they began to stare at each other. They had been doing that more often since the surprise dance. It was also harder to break the stare. Not that the nerd minded one bit. He could help but stare at the night sky in the indigo eyes. they looked at him curiously and also with small hints of another emotion that Mathias couldn't quite read but it made him want to wrap his arms around the punk and bury his face with little soft kisses.

"Why would I read aloud?" He asked making the nerd blink and look away with pink invading his cheeks.

"You have a nice voice. And I'd like to hear a classic read by a punk like you." The nerd replied with a grin. Lukas scoffed a little not believing the compliment for a second, but still going red slightly.

"Get an audiable." The punk remarked with a smirk going back to his book. Mathias grinned and chuckled softly. The darth vader theme song went off suddenly, causing Lukas to once again look up from his book and for Mathias to squirm as his phone vibrated on his ass. This, of course, ignited both curiosity and amusement in the punk a he watched the nerd grab squirm enough to fall off the couch and answer the call whilst he fixed his glasses.

"Hej mama." His tone was different. It was anxious and excited but also hopeful. Lukas was intrigued. He hadn't met Mathias' parents but from what their son had said about them, they are very busy people leading different lives than their son. Mathias glanced his way which signalled the punk to look back at his page and try to read but clearly watch the nerd interact with his folks. "Ja, I'm fine.."

"Ja, I have been taking my medication." Mathias switched to speaking in danish. Though because Norwegian and Danish sounded fairly similar Lukas could still understand what was being said. He frowned a little at the mention of medication. What medication did Mathias take?

There was a long pause as Mathias seemed to be getting lectured over the phone about how important this medicine was. Lukas could hear a few words now and again and Mathias looking up at the ceiling and shaking his head mouthing 'why'.

"Yes, I'm listening.." The punk snorted as Mathias continued to shake his head. He didn't know how lucky he was to still have parents that cared but it was comedic to watch the usually happy go lucky boy next to him turn into a lectured child. Mathias turned to face Lukas for a bit with a grin on his face appearing. Lukas lifted an eyebrow at him as a silent signal asking what was up with the face.

"My friends? Oh they are okay. The dance was also a blast apparently." Mathias had a smug grin as the punk's face went a few shades of pink at the mention. It had been two week and the dork was finding any excuse to dance with him again or bringing up the dance in the living room. And now he was mentioning it to his parents.

"No no, I didn't go, but I had an amazing night." Lukas grabbed the cushion he was laying on and threw it at the nerd's face. A snigger escaped Mathias' mouth and he grabbed the cushion and hugged it as he talked on the phone. Lukas turned to have his back to the nerd, without knowing that his ears were as red as his face.

"You want to meet my friends?" Lukas looked over his shoulder a little as the surprise in Mathias' voice seemed very genuine. Mathias was looking at the TV screen as he heard his mother speaking. His face going a little red so suddenly, making Lukas more than curious as to what was being said.

"Well, are you coming for Christmas?" there was silence and then Mathias' mood suddenly dropped. Lukas turned a little. Mathias looked apathetic about what was being said to him like he had heard it enough times to make him sour and bitter at the same time.

"I assume new years is off too then.." Lukas shut his book slowly. He could feel a hint of anger in Mathias' tone. He hadn't seen Mathias like this. It was unsettling and honestly angering how bitter such a happy person could get.

"No, it's fine. Have fun with dad as usual…No, I'm not angry. I'm not even mad or sad. I always spend it alone anyways." The cushion in Mathias' arm was being squeezed closer and he had turned his face away from Lukas. Emil slowly walked to the door of the living room and saw the tension. His brother was on alert mode and anger was radiating off Mathias. He walked closer to his brother and handed him his cup of coffee just like how he liked it. His brother normally, downs it in one gulp if the book is good or takes his time if it was building up. But right now he put the cup down on the side table and signalled Emil that it was best not to be here. Emil nodded and left without a word. He knew that Mathias wouldn't do anything to his brother. The nerd was more likely to cry than yell at Lukas, after all.

"You're not going to call on the 25th either.. Okay, you know what? Happy holidays to you two. I'm always alone so thank you for that. Even on the holiday that's meant to be about family. Godnat."

With that Mathias hang up and left the room, not even thinking about anything else. He walked back to the back yard and went straight into the freezing cold. His head was boiling and as soon as he was outside it seemed to cool. The dane walked in the snow with his bare feet and grabbed some off the floor and put it on his face to calm down. His chest was beginning to hurt. He didn't know if it was because he was angry, upset or his lungs screaming at him to get back inside because of the change of temperature. He kept rubbing snow on his face until the hot tears began to stream down his face.

This was every year. They had forgotten his birthday 3 times and countless of Christmas and new years. Let alone the countless of math tournaments and other achievements he had accomplished. It didn't matter how big the achievements were. He found that out when he was 12 and received the young academic achievers and his parents didn't show to the award ceremony. He didn't care about how cool the gifts he got were. What's the point of having cool gifts if your parents aren't there to thank for those gifts with a hug or enjoy the simplicity of their presence?

It wasn't fair. Then again, he knew he shouldn't complain and will probably have to apologise later on. Right now it didn't matter because he was hurt. Hurt by the lack of care that his parents had about him and seemed to be driven by money. It was beginning to be look like he needed to book an appointment with his parents just to see them. It hurt so much that the hot tears were melting the handfuls of snow he had pressed to his face. His chest was beginning to tighten up though. He was chocking back his sobs but might actually start coughing and wheezing soon.

He heard the backyard door open and close. He couldn't face Lukas right now. He was still angry but it was more hurt and was probably going to cry pathetically. Lukas was a good person with enough problems of his own; he couldn't possibly talk to him and dump his problems on him.

"You shouldn't be out without a jacket." The punk placed his thick leather jacket on the clearly hurt man next to him. He sat next to him ignoring the snow melting under his butt and causing his pants and underwear to begin to get damp. Mathias was still cover his face though now that his back was covered by the leather jacket that suited Lukas so well; the leather jacket that held that scent that was unique to Lukas, that jacket was now on him. It was warm, so warm.

"Lukas.. you don't have to—"

"Mat, have you ever had a snow fight." The punk interrupted Mathias before he could continue. Mathias was silent for a bit and then shook his head.

"Ever build a snowman?" once again Mathias shook his head.

"How about snow angels?" Mathias shook his head more slowly, unsure why this was being asked.

"Yea me neither." Mathias looked up at Lukas finally. His eyes were red as well as his nose, lips and chin. Lukas was watching the snow fall slowly into the already white backyard. His expression was calm and serene. Mathias could admire that calm nature forever. Every time he saw Lukas it was like it was the first time he had seen him. There was a long pause between them. Mathias was trying to find the right words to ask why Lukas had asked those questions. The punk had been glancing at him now and again trying to read what was going on until he decided to break the silence again.

"Just because we have different reasons for not have done those things doesn't mean mine are better reasons. Therefore, why should there be any reason stopping you from talking about it?" Lukas said turning to face him. There was strong sense seriousness in his tone but Mathias could feel the comfort that he was trying to pass subtly. It made him smile again. He wanted to think of this as Lukas telling him to rely on him, that he wasn't going to belittle his problems no matter how small they may be compared to his own. He wasn't going to compare at all. He wanted to think of it like that but he still wasn't sure. He had never talked about this with anyone besides commenting it subtly to Berwald every once in a blue moon.

"Okay." Mathias mumbled through a sad smile. Lukas got up and extended his hand to him. Mathias gladly took it and let Lukas lead him back inside to it warmth along with their cold hands that seemed to ever be warm with each other present. Mathias felt calm again. It usually took the entire winter holiday break to stop mopping but Lukas had taken that away in minutes. They were heading for upstairs. It was late, so it wasn't a surprise.

"Change to your pyjamas first. We both have soaked pants." Lukas remarked amused when they got to Mathias' door and the nerd was still holding his hand. The latter blushed a fair bit and nodded, hesitantly letting go of that warm hand that was keeping him calm.

He figured Lukas would come into his room so they could talk, though after crying he was tired. Like hell he was going to miss out on spending time with Lukas though. He will fight his sleep until Lukas was content of his happy levels. That being said, he changed his pants to his comfortable Marvel comic sweat pants and a button up flannel Star Wars shirt. Mathias could feel his nerves relax at the thought of spending time with Lukas.

Lukas came in not long after. Mathias was sitting on his bed reading the comics on his pants for the umpteenth time. Lukas' pyjamas were an old Ramones shirt and grey sweatpants. He walked over to the other side of the very large bed and sat next to Mathias who was fidgeting with the legs of his pants so he could read it and distract himself from the fact the Lukas was on his bed right next to him fully clothed but, on the bed right next to him.

"Did you want to start with telling me about the medicine you mentioned?" Mathias winced a little remembering that part. He decided to lay down for this. He was tired and his chest was bothering him.

"She was talking about my asthma medication. I have a fairly high chance of a severe asthma attack if I don't take it during winter. Mainly because of the cold weather or something like that." Mathias replied rubbing his eye a little that was itching with sleep. Lukas looked away a little and nodded. Mathias could see the guilt from the very nice angle he had. Mathias watched him for a bit. He could see Lukas was waiting for him to continue at his own pace. So Mathias gathered all the might he could summon to tell the punk what was going on.

"Mum and Dad have always left me at home ever since I was old enough to go to school. I have had countless of nannies taking care of me for years." Mathias began a little shaky. He hadn't explicitly told someone about this. And he was starting to get why.

"When I turned 14 they decided I was mature enough to take care of myself and so they gave me money for the expenses I would need for like school, food, transport and they paid the lot." Lukas' gaze softened a little. Mathias couldn't look at his eye right now though. If he did, he would stop talking to admire them but also desperately try to read them and then freak out if it not what he expected.

"At first, and I mean the first month. It was alright and pretty cool until they began missing my birthday and holidays. Sometimes I don't see them for half a year before they decided they should probably check that I'm alive and I'm eating right. They only stay here for a month or two at a time, sometimes less. This one year I didn't see them at all until my birthday the following year." Mathias glanced at Lukas a little who was listening with a warm feel to his eyes.

The nerd decided he needed affection or physical contact. It was nerve wrecking doing this. Especially, since he would usually solider on with all of this. He snaked his arms around Lukas' waist and hid his face into Lukas' side. The punk didn't shove him off; he instead let his finger explode the wild hair.

It was an odd occurrence for Lukas to be hugged but Mathias seemed to like it. It was beginning to be a normal thing, in fact. Mathias would surprise him out of nowhere with a hug, but it was always shy yet friendly. This one was pulling the punk closer than he normally would be with this dork. As Lukas ran his finger through the dork hair, Mathias leaned into his touch with his eyes shut and let a hum escape.

Lukas could almost hear the remark Mathias was probably thinking which made him smile little. It didn't seem to matter that it was almost always silent. It seemed that they would only ever be like this in silence, when it was jus the two of them alone. It was odd to Lukas. He usually disliked anything that involved anyone in his personal space. But this was nice. It made him want to do this more often. Have the Dane in his arms that is. He definitely didn't mind it. Admitting that in his head alone brought him back to the thoughts when they were dancing two weeks ago. Usually the only craving he had was of a cigarette but those thoughts made him crave this affection from the nerd.

"You know, I had to take a cooking course. Because my parents didn't believe that I was decent enough to use the kitchen without burning it down?" Mathias suddenly spoke, taking Lukas out of his thoughts. His tone was more amused now and less upset. Lukas snorted a little.

"How did that go?" Mathias looked up a little.

"Well, they thought that I was the instructor and we made potato cake." Mathias laughed. Lukas chuckled shaking his head which made Mathias grin even more.

"You should lay down, you look tired.." Mathias commented as Lukas yawned covering his mouth. It was odd for him to feel tired at 10 pm. He usually didn't feel it until 1 am. Mathias emphasised his argument by wrapping his right arm around the punk to weigh him down and pull him closer. Lukas rolled his eyes a little with a tiny smirk on his face.

"Fine. But if I fall asleep it completely your fault." Mathias grinned and let the punk get comfortable by his side. It always managed to feel so great in his presence.

"Of course… thanks by the way.. you really didn't have to come and talk to me." Lukas turned to face Mathias with a 'really?' face as he said that. "Okay maybe I did need to but.. I don't usually do get to discuss my parents to people."

"To be fair you haven't really talked about them until now. So you could say I was a little curious." Lukas replied glancing away a little due to their faced being rather close. Mathias smiled a little.

"Guess I should. I mean the little time that they are here, it's stressful but fun. See, mum is a very happy and outgoing person whilst dad is more quiet and reserved. They are also very affectionate and stuff so they have me running away from the living room when they do that…stuff." Lukas snorted at the childish way Mathias was being when explaining his parent's affection towards each other.

"They also decide to have a lot of family time when they are here, and want to meet all my friends. Until now, they have only ever heard of Berwald being my friend and they send presents for him and stuff as well as sending my presents." Mathias continued, feeling the punk slowly relax more and more as he spoke.

"They seem very keen on meeting you and Emil by the way." Lukas hummed softly and turned to face Mathias a little.

"Why is that?" Lukas hummed again a little drowsy. Like he had taken sleeping pills and were beginning to kick in, but he knew for a fact that he hadn't taken those in years. He was so comfortable and warm it was hard to not feel free enough to sleep. He felt free. That's the word to describe it when he was in Mathias' presence.

"Well, I mentioned you have a motorbike. Dad like them but mum has always said that he had to spend more than 6 consecutive months in this house before she was letting him get one. My dad is pretty clumsy so it's out of fear he might hurt himself." Mathias stared at the punk whose eyes were half lid and had a smile on his lips. He couldn't help but lift his hand to softly stroke the pale cheek that lid up pink as soon as his finger's made contact with Lukas' skin. The warm hand slid until his palm was cupping that pink cheek and his finger reached the hair line and caressed there gently. Everything was so gentle and soft. Their hearts unknowingly sped up, pumping adrenaline and small doses endorphins. It changed the mood a little to a more intimate that neither Mathias nor Lukas seemed to mind. They were rather close and were so comfortable with each other yet it seemed to be a game of who breaks first as neither one of them wanted to be the first to say anything about this.

Lukas decided to close his eyes and enjoy the way the warmth from Mathias' hand spread around him. Even if he hadn't been the one being comforted he still managed to feel like he was the one that got more out of this than Mathias. Maybe it was because of the new found feelings that were screaming at him to be known. Or perhaps the way the dork seemed to melt away the years of harshness in seconds of soft touches and little kisses. God, he needed to get a grip of himself. He was starting to sound like Tino when he talked about Berwald. But he knew he would never would go ahead and mention it aloud like Tino, so in his mind he was free to make those little comments.

Mathias watched as the punk that was formerly known as cold and scary; smiled yet again and the always pale cheeks turned a soft pink. He could stare all day but the urge to kiss him and be super affectionate was ebbing away the restrain and fear that he would be rejected. He knew he would want more of this the moment they began; the way that there wasn't a need to talk, or a need to ask if he could talk about his problems. The way they could be this close and be this affectionate like they were two children playing on thin ice, knowing if one stepped on the wrong are the floor would break and they would fall.

"Hey, let get into bed. It's cold." Mathias whispered softly to the half asleep guy next to him. His cheeks burned as he asked. It was like they were a couple and he was asking Lukas to come to bed. He needed to control these thoughts somehow.

The punk opened his eyes half way nodding a little, falling into a spell of slumber as soon as they were under the covers. He could feel the nerd shift closer slowly which irritated him since he was cold. Deciding that the only way to stop the nerd from shifting was to move closer, he pulled Mathias into his arms again. His arms going around the star wars collar and like a cat in the sun, he rolled so that the nerd was on his chest. It was so warm, like the heat in summer but there was the biting cold of winter outside the covers. Mathias was so warm, Lukas almost felt like a snake wrapping himself around him. He was beginning to welcome the sleep pumping in his system.

On the other hand, the nerd was flustered. He was inhaling the scent that made him crazy. The arms around him loosed as Lukas fell into deeper sleep so when they slid off Mathias looked up a little for a second to admire the punk in his most relaxed form and slowly reached up and kissed the corner of his mouth and buried his face in his neck. His heart was running a marathon. He smiled to himself and tried to sleep.

He guys I'm bak! this took forever to write i apologise but this is worth two of my usual chapter it amazed me how much i wrote! but im already witting 19 already and writing my zombie fic as a side thing

Uni has started now and its like going to summer camp but with free internet and more people to talk about memes with its ridiculous-BUT that means my writting wont be affected as badly as i thought it might be whihc is great!

Review Time!

Hanatamago2204: them together is what i live for tbh they make me feel so much better after i write them being adorable

thatOfvirk: same bro, like im waiting to write the scene and ujfnsjnjkfjkfdnjna its so much stuff thats going to happen im like jfneejnckjcn

SatanHerself: Its here! I hope this was cute too! im working on the slow fluff~

221bdeductions: I get the feeling with the log in thing. i often read without being logged in on my phone so if i like the story i would either log in to fav or follow or open and new page to look t others and eventully drift back nd follow when not as lazy. but thank you thank you thank you! i hope this chapter was okay!

thelordofabsolutelynothing: omg it would be great if you could beta read this fic! i do have to ask, would you be okay with beta reading the chapters that are not corrected? because like you mentioned the mistakes are there and i cant see it but yea! it would be great! please PM me if you are still interested!

birana. schmidt1: welcome back! its okay i understand! i have been recently getting into the Supernatural fanfictions and i just finished reading catching up with a 63 chapter fanfic thats still on going! its so good i cant not read it when it updates! also you are russia's adorable sunflower for sure!Thank you so the compliments! i hope this one was just as enjoyable!

Magical-Norway: aaaaa thank you norge!