Because I got so many nice reviews & because I'm almost a whole chapter ahead … :)

there we go with an update ^^

FOR MY EVER AWESOME REVIEWERS :)

„destroythemonsteryoumade, nerdydragon , samisnotevil, gianess, watergoddesskasey, elektra56765, pyrolover3, nightmare's pen, pandabirdluka, sataniclucifer, whimsicalbarwench, wilddracarys, chi chesire neko, queen paddie, supernatangel67, 3dbabe1999, ladynarutochan, koolkat superstar daredevil & guests"

I HOPE YA'LL LIKE THE STORY SO FAR.

WARNINGS:

Sexual Content ahead – not the real thing, but I figured I'd warn you guys.

Of Werewolves And Humans

Chapter 18 ~ Blaming You

THEN:

Sam swallowed thickly, staring at the doorway, waiting for Dean to come back to him. Waiting for Dean to say something – anything.

But Dean didn't. He didn't come back into the living-room. He didn't come to talk to him, telling him what a failure he was, that he had screwed up AGAIN. Dean didn't even came and look after him. He just didn't.

At least not until Sam drifted off to sleep.

NOW:

Sam slept through the whole night without waking once. He hadn't even stirred. Hadn't noticed, when Dean came back into the living-room, a sorrowful expression in his ever so green eyes. He hadn't noticed Dean picking him up and carrying him into their bedroom, where he laid him on the bed and covered him with the comforter and an extra blanket.

Sam hadn't noticed his mate laying down beside him, slipping under the covers and resting a hand on his chest. Feeling his heart and the even rise and fall of his ribcage while he slept.

Sam woke up to the sound of the bedroom-door gliding open with a muffled squeak. He was still half asleep when he felt the mattress beside him tip down. His flank hurt a little bit, but it wasn't that bad.

He have had worse.

Soon the human's eyes fluttered open and looked at the male form sitting on the bed. The corners of his lips started to curl up as the memories of the last night came back to him. That he had HELPED – truly helped – one of his mate's pack.

As he remembered that he had disobeyed, the smile fell before it could manifest on his face.

Dean looked at him, his face blank from emotions at first. Then a warmth settled over his features and his eyes turned soft.

„How are you feelin'?", Dean asked silently, feeling the human's forehead for any signs of fever.

There were none.

Sam cleared his throat and took a deep breath. „Fine. - How's Thomas?"

Dean's expression hardened slowly. „He's good. - Looked worse than it actually was.", Dean explained, his palm resting on Sam's cheek. „You shouldn't have left the house. - I told you not to."

Sam's eyebrows furrowed and his look drifted aside. „I'm sorry, Dean.", he muttered. „I couldn't leave him out there like this … He was hurt … He was in no state to fight or ..."

Dean nodded pensively. „You didn't follow my orders.", he reminded him, his voice cooler now. „There's a reason why I don't want you outside on your own. Not as long as they're out there. - It's dangerous."

Sam sucked in his lower lip. - He knew he was in trouble. He heard it on the way Dean spoke, the way his words slowed down …

„Do you understand why?", Dean's voice grew sharp on its edges. He tore the comforter down harshly, staring at Sam's newest wound. „Because you could get hurt, damn it.", the last words were more of a hiss, his gaze glued to the bandage that covered Sam's left side.

Sam flinched away, drawing his arms close to his front, covering his bare chest as good as possible. That was when he recognized that he was only wearing his boxers and the flannels.

The younger Winchester got up from the bed, a guttural snarl ripping from his throat. „What did you even think you were doing? - You could've been killed. You're HUMAN – you're not like us."

Sam squeezed his eyes shut, pressing himself into the mattress. He didn't dare to answer … Thomas could've been dead too, he thought to himself.

„You could be dead, Sam. DEAD, do you understand?" Dean was close to yelling now, his fear, his frustration about what had happened, how close Sam had come to die, releasing now in one single blow. „When I tell you to do something, you will, you understand me?! You DON'T leave the house, hell, you don't even go pee without asking me first from now on!" The younger Winchester panted, his face screwed up in anger and something like despair and fear.

He just stood there, his back turned at the human, not moving. Just breathing, trying to get his temper back under control, while he regretted his spoken words as soon as they had come over his lips.

When he finally turned around, and his gaze fell back on the human on the bed, Sam was curled up in a tight ball, his long fingers wrapped around his head as if to shield it from being hurt. He was trembling, his toes crinkled inwards.

Sam knew it – he had screwed up big style. He knew that Dean would be mad at him, that he'd yell at him. He knew that there'd be some kind of punishment. He just have had hope that it wouldn't get that bad, that Dean wouldn't tick out. And now he was afraid that all his hopes would fall. That Dean would hit him … even when he couldn't quite believe in this thought. The chance that he would was there though.

Dean's face fell, all the anger falling away from him, vanishing from his eyes. He had done something he had sworn he wouldn't. But it had just overcome him like the tide. Unstoppable. Bad things spilling from his own mouth. Things he knew could possibly hurt the tender bond between the two of them, or even rip it …

„Sam … I … I'm sorry ...", he stuttered, moving slowly towards the bed, „I … didn't want to say these things. I was just … damn it." Dean sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes filled with sorrow and regret. „I'm an idiot." He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing over it. „You wanted to protect a wounded pack-member. - I know ...", his voice was barely a whisper.

Sam remained unmoved.

„I shouldn't have yelled at you, Sam ..." The younger Winchester laid his hand on Sam's bicep, feeling tense muscles beneath his skin. „I'm sorry, Sammy …. please …." His hand moved up over the human's neck and cupped Sam's hand, where it was pressed against his head. „Please.", he begged. Dean Winchester begged – and he never ever had begged for something. „Please. - I'm not mad at you …"

He stroke Sam's hand gently until it loosened its grip and took it in his, revealing half of the human's face. Wet with tears and a red-rimmed eye looked up at him.

There was so much fear in those hazel-green circles. - Not quite fear of being hurt physically … it felt more like being hurt mentally ...

Dean laid down beside his mate, on the very edge of the bed and inched as close as possible towards Sam, facing him.

„Come here.", Dean whispered and slipped with his lower arm under Sam, pulling him close. „I won't yell at you again." He blew out a deep sigh, placing a tender kiss on Sam's forehead.

The human trembled and sobbed silently into the pillow.

It took a long while until Sam started to relax and finally nestled into the wolfman's chest. Dean pulled the comforter back over the both of them and rubbed Sam's back ever so gently. He didn't talk anymore, he just held Sam close and stroke him softly. Dean wanted to show him, that he didn't mean what he had said.

Sam shouldn't be afraid of his mate. Not of him in any way.

Thomas was back on his feet by dinner. He still walked a little stiff as if he was sore, but other than that he seemed to be fine.

The wolf in the basement on the other hand wasn't that good at all. He wore his human form, bound by silver-shackles wich were connected to an iron-ring on the floor.

The male was panting and sweating violently. His eyes were red-rimmed and the skin around a gash on his left bicep was angry red. Dark-blue – nearly black – strands ran beneath his translucent looking skin, marking the way of his veins there.

The heat of the fever was radiating from the poor being, that had come with the silver-poisoning. He wouldn't have long anymore. - Not long enough.

Dean moaned softly, and shifted. He had fallen asleep while caressing Sam's bare back with his fingertips some time after his mate had passed out on him.

Sam listened to the odd sounds his mate gave from him. Low moans and needy groans … Something he hadn't heard yet – at least from Dean. For a moment he had truly thought that his mate was in pain. But then again … the expression on Dean's face looked different, so did his soft movements beneath the comforter.

Sam propped up on an elbow and inched back a bit, watching Dean for quite a while with a small frown on his forehead.

„Sammy." It was more of a sound an animal would've made.

Dean felt the tender skin above him, Sam's lips against his own. It felt like holy fucking shit there's nothing better in the world like this. He looked up at the man above him, green dark hazel-eyes staring down at him, while he moved his hips in small circles.

Dean threw his head back into the pillow, his hands resting on Sam's toned calves, enveloped by the human's tight heat. This felt beyond amazing – being like this, feeling him like this. - Oh god …

He ground against the weight covering him, trying to get more friction, getting deeper, hitting that one spot deep inside his mate that'd make him begging for more.

Dean felt fingers brushing over his lips, his yaw, his neck. Lips sealed over his and when he opened his eyes again it were Sam's. Sam who bowed forward, so that Dean's manhood was close to slipping out of him, just held by the tight ring stretching around him, that was Sam's hole.

The wolfman licked hungrily into Sam's wet mouth, his hands finding their way up on Sam's hips, holding him in his position. Then he bucked his hips up, punching a surprised sound out of Sam. Dean drew back slowly and pushed his hips up again, burying himself inside Sam to the hilt while he held him in place, swallowing the most amazing sounds Sam made …

Dean's eyes fluttered open to a warm feeling in his belly that spread out into the rest of his body, making him feel all tingly and eager. His skin felt over-sensitive and hot. Another low moan fell from his lips.

First he didn't realize where it came from … hell, he couldn't even make up a thought about how it was even possible to feel like … the dream.

That was when he realized what was happening right here. His eyes widened at the realization and he sat up half-way, his eyes darting into his lap where he found the source of arousal in an instant. Dean scrambled back, hitting his back on the headboard of the bed in the process, slipping out of Sam's warm mouth that had surrounded him.

The human stared at him with big innocent eyes as he sat back on his heels. His lips swollen and wet and his hair all messed up …

The very next moment Sam found himself on his back, Dean pinning him down into the mattress forcefully, grinding his strained erection against Sam's crotch. A deep growl tore from Dean's throat, as he crushed his lips down on Sam's, forcing him to open his mouth, letting him in.

Sam tried to turn his head to the side, but the wolf wouldn't let him. With one hand he held Sam's wrists down, while he cupped his yaw with the other one.

„Please ...", Sam whimpered, when his mate forced his legs apart violently. „Not like that … please ..."

All of a sudden Dean stopped, the grip on Sam's wrists eased. He panted heavily as he let his forehead sink into the curve of Sam's neck.

„Not like this.", Dean whispered breathless into his mate's ear, letting go of the human's wrists and pushed himself off of him, sitting up on the edge of the bed. „Not like this.", he muttered to himself, cradling his head in his hands.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push the beast in him back into its cage. Trying to regain control before someone would get hurt. - Before Sam would get hurt.

Then there was silence and the air heavy with emotions.

„I thought you'd like that." Sam's voice was so small, so innocent. „I didn't want to … I just tried and … I'm sorry, Dean." Unshed tears glistening in Sam's eyes, as he watched his mate warily. „I wanted to make it feel real to you … I've nothing else I can give … only … only me ..."

Dean swallowed thickly. He grabbed the blanket from the bed-end and covered his private parts with it. Oh god … he have had no idea that he could feel that filthy – EVER. Not in a lifetime.

He felt the fabric of his jeans around his ankles and grabbed for them, pulling them back up. Then he took himself back in (what was somehow not that easy with a strained erection like this) and closed his zipper and button.

„Sam.", Dean sighed and rubbed over his face. „Don't do this ever again, okay?"

Sam just nodded, his gaze glued to the mattress.

Now Dean looked up at him anxiously. „I could've hurt you … I – It's not ..." He blew out a long breath, sucking another one in, trying to clear his mind from the fine tendrils of his dream. „You've a lot to give, Sammy.", he said then. „Don't reduce yourself like that. - I don't want it like that. - IF we do it then I want you to want it too …"

Sam nodded again but didn't look up. He had screwed up again. Twice in not even twenty-four hours.

„Fine." Dean managed a small smile and cleared his throat – kind of embarrassed. „I'd think we … should eat some of the chilli you've made yesterday, don't you think?"

Sam nodded – again.

Dean decided to forget about the event for now – he didn't know what else to say anyway, so he kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to make things worse than they already were. Because obviously they had to be worse as he had thought, when Sam still believed that he had to „pay" for his/their hospitality. Or maybe because he thought that he had to since he was a wolf's mate.

Dean damned Robert Singer's collection of lore …

Either way … Dean wouldn't accept that. He needed Sam to SEE what he really was. What they all were. That they all had the same rights, that Sam wasn't the trash he thought he was. Sam needed to SEE that he was so much more.

And then – on the other side – he sensed that it wasn't completely about that. That there was more behind Sam's actions sometimes than he led on. There was still this part inside the human that thought he was less worth than the dirt under Dean's boots.

Dean was about to get off of the bed, when Sam's head snapped up. „Did I do it wrong?", he asked hesitantly, not sure if he wanted an answer.

The younger Winchester rose an eyebrow on the human. He looked into pleading big circles of hazel and green, then he smiled.

„Nothing's wrong. - It's just not … I don't want you to think that you have to do something, you actually don't want to.", he answered then, trying to hide his own frustration about how things went down the past twenty-four hours. „Now come on. - Your chilli's waiting for us."

With that Sam grabbed the hoody from the bed-end and pulled it over, hurrying to Dean's side, who wrapped his arm around Sam's lower back and placed a lingering kiss over his temple. He sensed Sam's distress. He also had sensed that Sam had liked it somehow. But then again … they weren't that far yet. He didn't want to push his luck, since the human was responding to him pretty good for being – well – a human.

And that little incident … well, they'd forget about it as if it had never happened. - At least Dean intended to.

Dean KNEW that Sam wasn't as far on his way to recovery as he had thought. The event of not even an hour ago had proofed him right. Sure Sam seemed to sense moods of him every now and then, and he sure as hell was bound somehow to the werewolf. But there was also the human's past, that still lingered above them, ready to get them down.

That was something that he couldn't change, something he had to be careful about. It didn't matter that they were mates, when it came to this. Sam was still hurt and broken on the inside, even if his body had healed up nicely.

Maybe Sam knew that the wolfman wouldn't hurt him, didn't want to say the things he had said – but deep down there was this fear. Fear of being hurt again, being abused again, no matter how much he trusted Dean. No matter what he felt for him. These things didn't go away just that easy, and Dean knew it.

Not like this …

They had dinner then. All together in the dining-room. Everyone was on his place at the table, eating the chilli Sam had made last night.

And it was silent. So silent.

Sam glanced at Thomas from time to time, who still seemed a little bit too pale. He also stole glances at the others. All of them seemed pensive and bothered. So was he.

Even Ash was somehow not as carefree as he was usually. No wonder after the events of last night. Adding that there was still the fact, that he had been all on his own in the house. What he could tell, pissed Dean off the most. Not just because of the glares he shot his father and Ellen … also because he just KNEW it. It was practically radiating from the younger Winchester. And Sam wondered if the others were able to feel that too.

Despite the bad mood among the pack, everyone took another serving of the chilli – even Thomas. They emptied the big pot and from Bobby's homemade bread wasn't a crumb left at the end.

Sam had also thought, that Thomas had given him a wink – or it had just been an imagination, now that the painkillers that Dean had given to him started to do their magic work on his mind.

„He was spying on us.", Thomas finally spoke up and looked into the round. „He was watching the Salvage. I smelled him right away and went after him, chased him through the yard. - That bastard lured me into a trap … and that was it. He had me."

Everyone's eyes were on him now.

„I don't think that he wanted to use me as bait or something. - I think no one of us was supposed to find him snifflin' around ...", he went on talking, „If it wouldn't have been for Sam ... I'd be probably dead by now." He looked over at the human with obviously mixed feelings.

The others and Sam recognized that he didn't call him „the human" as he talked. He used his name and looked at him with something different from disgust … it had more of acceptance and tolerance, maybe he even started to like the human a little bit.

„We know that they're watching us. Depends now on if he was the only one … or if there were more ...", Bobby stated pensively, wiping with a hand over his beard. „What means that this isn't over yet. - They're checking us out, looking for a weak-spot."

Dean leaned back in his chair, blowing out a breath. „That's fantastic … they know when who's where. They know about our routine and when Sam's outside with Ash and Caleb." His eyes darted at John, who kept still. „IF he was the only one of them spying on us ..."

„I didn't smell any other foreign scent out there.", Thomas added, eying Sam for a brief moment with an unreadable expression on his face.

Dean didn't have to ask where his father had been during his mate had thought he had to save one of them. Sheriff Mill's scent was all over his father – even now it was faintly surrounding him.

Ellen had been called to an emergency a town over … werewolf-vet-stuff … a birth. Dean couldn't blame HER for being not there … but his father? He damn well could blame HIM.

Sam watched Dean closely now. The younger Winchester's temper was on the edge the whole evening ever since they had crossed John's path earlier today. He laid a hand on his mate's upper thigh and squeezed gently. Their looks met and Dean knew exactly what Sam wanted to tell him. To leave it be. That nothing bad had happened. And Dean gave back a but-you-got-hurt-look (however this was even possible. Sam just KNEW what Dean was thinking. He just knew it).

The others watched their wordless conversation intensively …

Sam sighed, tilting his head to the side, saying as much as i-know-but-it's-not-their-fault. … it's mine. Mine alone …

Dean cleared his throat, his gaze lingering on Sam's fascinating eyes a little bit longer. Then he looked into the round, clearing his throat again.

„I think it's no longer about Sam alone.", Thomas added then, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. „You guys were right … I think they're looking for the ones that killed their pack-members."

„I guess our involuntary guest will answer some of our questions. - Might gives us some more answers about their intentions.", Caleb spoke up, leaning back in the chair too now. „If he's going to last that long anyway ..."

Sam's head snapped up. „He's alive?" He swallowed.

„Yeah well … guess we've to work on your accuracy." Dean chuckled, laying his hand over Sam's on his thigh. „You grazed him – he's poisoned …"

Sam swallowed harder, a lump in his throat building up. That meant the werewolf would be dying slow and painful – because of him. „Wait … he's … is he in pain?"

The others frowned in union.

„What?", John asked, believing that he hadn't heard right.

„If he's poisoned, he'll be in pain … he'll die … there's no cure, not after such a long time ...", Sam looked at his empty bowl, trying to hold down the chilli that wanted to crawl its way back up his throat.

He looked up. „Why didn't you just kill him? He's gonna suffer … and …"

„Becuase we need answers, youngster. - He won't talk to us yet, so we'll wait.", John explained calmly, „... until he's ready. And if he's a good boy we'll release him from his pitiful life soon enough."

„But ..." Sam started „... can't we get the answers somehow else? Does he have to go through this?" His lower lip quivered – so not puppy-like at all.

„He wanted to kill you, Sam." Dean kept his voice soft, but couldn't hide the disbelieve that swung with it. „And if he'd have the chance he'd kill us all. Without hesitation."

Sam shook his head. No. „You're right … I'm just …" He sighed. „I don't know ..."

Dean's eyes softened, understanding what Sam meant. He had suffered indescribable. And they – his pack – was doing the same now to someone else. At once he felt disgusted by himself, felt guilty for the things he haven't had done yet.

The younger Winchester also felt Sam's mood taking a way he didn't want it to go. So he rose from the chair with an audible inhale, still holding Sam's hand.

„It's been a long day, guys … and girls.", he looked into the round and stopped at Ellen with a fake-smirk. „What'd you say, Sammy? - Sleep?"

Sam nodded and stood up too, holding onto the wolfman's hand tightly. They said their good-nights and the two of them went upstairs. Sam was the first one to disappear under the covers, shortly followed by Dean. - Of course after they had brushed their teeth and checked on Sam's bandage.

The human turned towards him and wrapped an arm around Dean's middle, placing a gentle kiss on Dean's lips. Dean kissed him back, letting his cushions rest on Sam's for a while, before he cupped the other male's head, licking tentatively over his lip's seam.

And Sam opened to him, letting him in. He leaned into the kiss and closed his eyes. He pressed his body against Dean's, holding him closer.

It was an unconcious thing that always happened when they kissed – ever since they kissed. It was like their bodies were attracting each other. Like their was an invisible bond pulling at each other to be closer.

Like their hosts were as bound as their souls were.

Sam felt like coming home and felt safe like nowhere else in the entire world.

…... to be continued

okay … this chapter was kind of lame … i have to admit that ^^

hold on though … it'll get nasty soon