Disclaimer: It is not, nor has it ever been, mine. In the future… well only time will tell ;)

Authors Note: I was honestly expecting to lose inspiration at some point this week and have trouble with these chapters, but this story just keeps writing itself. That's a good thing. I hope to have chapters completed ahead of time. And if anyone knows a beta that is good at dialogue let me know because I could definitely use the help. But for now, here is chapter four. Enjoy!

Chapter 4- Like Crushed Grass

"Tears of pain, tears of joy, one thing nothing can destroy, is our pride deep inside," Simba- The Lion King

The next year passed almost quietly. I spent my time learning. Knowing that I knew I was in the Naruto world cleared up a lot of my questions. Then again it raised so many more I don't know if that could count as progress. I tried to take things slowly, let it all sink in and stay in, before moving on to other things.

I talked with Izumo and Kotetsu and learned more about them both. I asked Izumo about his family and found out that he too had civilian parents. They didn't understand why he wanted to be a ninja but were always supportive of him. My parents didn't like that my brother was trying to be a ninja but they never tried to talk him out of it. They respected his right to make his own decisions.

I spent a lot of that year trying to make my own. I didn't want to be a ninja. Yes it would be cool, but there is so much more to being a ninja then just being 'cool'. I would be risking my life, pushing myself farther than I ever had before, and most likely end up dying. Again.

I had no delusions about myself. I knew I was weak and would always be an average ninja at most. I knew it would be hard, even with the threat of Madara and Pein hanging over my head, I know I would never have the determination to really fix anything. At most I'd just be another convenient meat shield.

I was also scared. I hate saying it, but even having died before, I was scared to do it again. Because I knew it would be painful, and as childish as it sounds, I don't like being in pain. I didn't want to think about these things, but I had too.

Even if I pushed the looming threats to the back of my head until the time came, I knew it would affect me. It would affect everyone. Everyone would suffer. And I wanted to do something, but I knew how small my existence was.

Even if I was to try as hard as humanly possible and then some, I would only be imprinting my existence and ideas on so few people it would hardly make a difference.

I'm not Naruto; I don't have his unyielding faith and determination. And it angered me. I was so upset at myself for not even trying, but at the same time I understood how pointless it would be. I made my decision.

I would go to the academy and push myself as hard as I could. If all else fails at least I'll be strong enough to protect my family for a short time. I began trying to prepare myself for my time at the academy by bullying Kotetsu into teaching me exercises and ways to strengthen my body.

I hated sweating, but I would do it if it meant I would survive just a little bit longer. I would stretch my body and begin working up my endurance and flexibility. I was still awkward in my new body, but I was adjusting quickly with my goal in mind.

After spending so much time working with Kotetsu and sometimes Izumo I got to see their proficiency with weapons and their teamwork first hand. It was amazing. They were still so young they hadn't even graduated yetand their teamwork, though it could use a bit of work, was much better than I thought it would be at this point in time.

In the show I think you only ever get to see them fight once or twice, but here I was working with the two of them and I could see it quite clearly. And they were good. It was both inspiring and humbling at the same time. I wanted to be better, to be able to fight with them rather than just getting instructions here and there.

Watching them, I knew that this was still only Genin level. It really made me wonder what it would be like to watch two Jonin going at it. I wanted to learn, to improve, so I did. But even I knew it still wasn't enough.

Eventually I spoke with my parents about my decision. My mother flat out refused. It took a lot of persuasion skills to even show her what I knew so far. I wouldn't be old enough to go to the academy until I was six, the age for entering in times of peace.

With my brother on my side and my father as neutral we finally convinced her to let me attend. And even though I wouldn't be entering for another two years it felt final. I had permission; I was going to do this. And nothing scared me more.

For me the hardest part is always making the decisions. I can be very indecisive, but once I make up my mind I stick with it as far as I can. So I continued to work. My mother still hoped I would change my mind about going to the academy.

She would introduce me to civilian girls my age to try to show me that it was alright not to go just because my older brother did; that I could be happy without going. She taught me how to sew in the hopes that I would decide to do that for a living.

And as much I didn't want to be a ninja, I hated the fact that she kept trying to talk me out of it. I understand that I'm her only daughter, that she knows nothing about the ninja world, and that it's scary to let me do something so dangerous, I really understood.

But no matter how much I tried to keep my patience with her, she made me angry. I think it was the first time I had gotten truly angry at someone in this world. And I hated myself for that. She was my mother. She loved me.

How could I get angry at her for something like that? But I could tell that she was angry too. She was angry at me, at Kotetsu, at my father. I didn't like the tension that was now constantly hanging over the house.

Even in my old life I had always been very sensitive to the people around me. I could usually tell how someone felt. And my chakra only seemed to have strengthened that. Without it I don't think I would have noticed that my father was angry too.

And that was worrying to think about. He was always calm and happy. Even when most in his position would get upset he always dealt with things without getting to emotionally involved. But right now, I could tell he was angry. Not at me or Kotetsu but our mother.

The house was tense like this for over a week until my father decided to fix it. I don't know what he said or did. But when my parents came back from their date a week later everything, all the anger and fear she had been feeling, was gone. I have got to learn how to do that.

Because of my training I began spending a lot more time outside. And that's when I finally noticed it. Kotetsu was walking me to the park where we were going to climb trees again, except this time he wasn't going to help me so I had to use my own strength to get up.

The moment we got there he began climbing immediately while I started a staring contest with the tree. I was trying to find the best place to grab hold and begin. When I touched the tree to test the closest branches strength I almost flinched. It was alive.

I had forgotten about that, having been so overwhelmed by meeting Naruto's parents. Except this time it was stronger. I could feel it almost as if it was an extension of me. And when I went to touch one of the flower buds, it bloomed. It was barely spring yet and this bud had bloomed in the space of seconds. That's not normal.

"Suikazura, you won't get anywhere it you just stand there," my brother teased from somewhere above. I rolled my eyes and replied, "I'm sizing up my opponent,"

"You're supposed to climb it, not fight it," he yelled back down.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming hold your horses. Sometimes you have less patience then a toddler."

"Whatever, just get up here I want to show you this bird's nest I found."And so I began to climb. With each branch I touched another flower would bloom. It was strange. I know I had caused it, but there had never been anyone or anything in the book that could do that. Except maybe Yamato, but he used wood, not flowers.

I needed to experiment but now was not the time. I resolved to speak with Kotetsu about chakra control. He was surprisingly good at it. Hopefully I could learn enough to stop things from spontaneously growing at my touch. And if I could learn to control it… well that would be nice. But right then I had a tree to climb.

My birthday came and passed as I began learning basic chakra control. I didn't really have too much because my coils wouldn't start growing until I was eight but I could work with what I had. I had to.

I began walking around my backyard without shoes on to see if I could make things grow through my feet. I could. Everything I touched with any part of my body began to grow. I began lying in the backyard for hours at a time with my hands on the ground trying to sense things.

I could feel the flowers next to the fence, the tree down the street, the dying weeds in my neighbor's trash bin, as well as the honeysuckle vines climbing up the side of my house. I felt so small at times like that, when I could feel each blade of grass, each leaf flowing in the wind.

I soon learned that when I try to make things grow its more energy draining than when they just do it on their own. I think because I don't have any chakra control yet everything that leaks out, instead of being wasted, gets sucked into the nearest plant making it grow.

It was fascinating. It was something my adult mind could enjoy. With my family I was the four year old baby of the house, with my brother and Izumo (who I was beginning to think of as a brother,) I was a student straining my body to become stronger.

But here, in the backyard with the plants- my plants, I was the twenty-one year old I knew myself to be. It was relaxing for me to have different people to be in different places. It's what I was used to. And I was really beginning to feel at home.

But I had gotten so caught up in my own little head I forgot about the rest of the world. My wakeup call wasn't a pleasant one. I was four at the time and winter was slowly but surely making itself known by the chill in the air.

It was the alarms that woke me. Going downstairs I saw the rest of my family crowding in the kitchen. My parents were pale and staring out the window in shock. I moved toward them trying to catch a glimpse of what had scared them when I felt Kotetsu pulling me back and shaking his head.

I was confused for a moment but then I remembered. It was October tenth. Naruto's birthday, the day the Kyuubi was set loose on the village. We heard knocking on the door and all turned as the person let themselves in.

It was a boy no older than fourteen. He looked scared but determined as he ushered us out of the house and towards the Hokage monument where I knew the safety shelters to be. We were being evacuated for our own safety because the village was in danger.

My father scooped me up and tried to hide my eyes as we made our way toward the mountain but I saw it, the fox. He was huge, his chakra menacing, and he was angry. His hate was so strong I could almost feel it as my own.

Only years of practice at distancing myself from others emotions stopped me from screaming in rage myself. It was scary. All the other civilians were being evacuated by the Genin and those deemed too young to fight the monster.

We finally made it to safety when Kotetsu made to leave us. I was so scared of letting him go. My parents apparently felt the same way.

"Where do you think you're going?" My mother's voice didn't have its usual edge to it. Kotetsu just looked at her, jaw clenched stubbornly.

"I need to find Izumo. He-"his voice cracked a moment.

"He lived in that area. I need to find him." My father's eyes widened in understanding.

"Go," he said in a low voice, skin pulled taut around his mouth.

"Kinzoku you can't-,"my mother began but was cut off when my father spoke again.

"He'll be fine. He won't leave the shelter and if he can't find Izumo within the hour then he will come right back," Kotetsu nodded and left but my mother looked no more reassured by his words then she had before they were spoken.

Kotetsu returned not twenty minutes later with his best friend in tow. He was crying, or at least he had been. He looked broken and I knew before I heard the words, what had happened. My parents enveloped him in a hug and we stayed with him the whole night.

We all knew words wouldn't do anything right now so we just sat with him, spoke quietly of things that didn't matter, and placated his frayed nerves with our calming words. They didn't let us out until well into the next morning.

Shinobi were running all over the village, picking up weapons and bodies all over the place, and this was what it was like after most of the work was done. Our house had been in one of the high damage zones but right then that didn't even matter.

The announcement was made throughout the town about the Fourths death and about the funeral services being held for all who had fallen in the attack. Thinking about it, right then our village was more vulnerable than ever. If another nation were to attack us now, there would be almost nothing we could do to stop it. But they didn't.

The Fourth Hokage was known all around the world by Shinobi and civilian alike. Armies would flee at the sight of him on the battlefield, and now he was gone. It showed how respected he was that we were left to grieve in peace.

I just found it sad that his last wish, that his son be treated as the hero he was, would never be respected. But I could understand why he wasn't. To the civilians the Fourth Hokage was a sign: a sign of change, strength, and peace. And he was gone.

It wasn't just the end of one man's reign but the end of an era, an era where things were good, where most people were happy, where they were safe. And they needed to place their anger somewhere. It just hurt that they chose a little boy, a baby at the moment, to carry their pain. It's disgusting really, but it's in human nature and that is not something that is easy to go against.

Our village spent a long time fixing itself. My family took Izumo in and decided to move. Our house had been demolished and even after being rebuilt it wasn't quite big enough for the four of us, so bigger housing became our priority.

We found a nice sized house and it felt like we were beginning again, which in a sense, we were. Izumo was a lot quieter now but we knew he appreciated us taking him in. He had his own room but for the first week of staying with us he slept in Kotetsu's.

I could hear them talking through the wall sometimes and I'm sure my parents did as well but they never complained. They knew he needed to talk, and every morning he was looking better and better.

After two weeks of settling in we finally met our next door neighbors. That threw me off a bit. Imagine my surprise when my mother and I were greeted one afternoon by Inoichi Yamanaka. He came with his wife and baby daughter later introduced as Ino.

He didn't stick around for long, he was still busy like a lot of the other Jonin, but his wife and daughter stayed for a while. His wife was nice. She spoke with my mother and I about their flower shop next door, and even pointed out their greenhouses from our back porch.

We were invited over for dinner the next evening and my mother graciously accepted. Later that night my mother told my father of the next evening's plans and he agreed readily enough.

My mother then used dinner as lecture time as she told us exactly how she expected us to behave at someone else's house. I felt a bit nostalgic. It was at times like this where she reminded me of my old mother so much it almost hurt.

Our dinner out went off without a hitch and after showing my interest in the plants Yamanaka-san promised to teach me about the flowers and what sort of properties they held. I was excited to learn about the plants.

Right now all I could do was make them grow, but if I knew what they did then maybe I could be more helpful to the village. And right then I wanted to be helpful so badly. So many people had died, so much had to be fixed and here I was happily eating dinner with my new neighbors.

I spent as much time as I could, learning and growing in both strength and size. It was during one of my afternoons in the grass that I realized something quite handy. I had my eyes closed and was focused on my breathing, and all the plants around me.

I felt the ones in the greenhouse next door and frowned as I felt the cold slowly killing a few of them. It made sense that they were dying, it was well into December now, but I didn't want them to die.

Not really thinking I sent my chakra in that direction and felt the plants once again grow strong. And then I cursed myself for being so stupid. They were going to notice that. At least they wouldn't be able to tell it came from me. I hope.

Lying back down, I focused on the grass. And again I felt something different. The grass near the porch felt smushed, flat. Tilting my head backwards I noticed Kotetsu and Izumo looking at me.

They slowly made their way over and I felt them crush all the grass on the way. That's interesting. As they both lay down on either side of me the grass they had crushed, with the help of my chakra, began to grow again.

The three of us lay there silently, just staring at the sky and enjoying the quiet moment of peace. And even though everything around us still felt broken and crushed, it was slowly but surely, just like the grass, growing back to its former height, and when we reach it we will grow even taller.

Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review and come again.

ToeGirth,

Signing out