Faith the Vampire Slayer:
The Master
6. I Robot, You Jane
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Faith dashed to catch up with Willow as she slowly walked through the hall her eyes glued to her cell phone. "Red! Hey, wait up!"
"Oh, Faith, I didn't even see you," the tech nerd grinned.
"Or hear me," the slayer huffed. "Why so phone focused?"
"Well, I sort of met someone," Willow smiled.
"When? Where? What kind of baked goods are we talking? Fresh baked stud muffin, or prepackaged Twinkie?" Faith encouraged her.
"Last week after we did the scanning project in the library," Willow stopped at her locker to swap books. "Online, and I don't know."
"Yeesh. Stale gas station donut, then."
"Ew. No. He's amazing. He's so smart, and, and he's romantic, and we agree about everything!"
"Stalker," the slayer declared.
"I knew you'd react like this," Willow said crestfallen.
"Sure, ya' did. 'cuz yer smart. And you know I'm going to tease you. And be cautious of any guy that can't supply pics; In front of a window, at noon," Faith grinned at her. "Anyway, when do I get to meet Mr. Amazing?"
"Faith," Willow chided her friend, "He's not a, a…"
"Serial killer, pedo, super fugly," she listed off. "You don't know that; he could be anything."
"Why does everything have to be about looks?"
"Two out of three were safety concerns," Faith huffed.
"His name is Malcolm Black, he's eighteen, he lives in Elmwood, which is about eighty miles from here, and he likes me!"
"The two of you, me and Xan should double. But, as long as me or mama Rosenberg tag along when you first meet him I got no problems. I think it's great that you met someone." Faith leaned in to whisper, "But if he turns out to be my kind of problem, I'll beat him down and make you finish the job."
"Okay," Willow sighed. "I'll be careful."
"Good," the slayer nodded. "I won't have to sick big brother Xander on you."
Willow stuck her tongue out at Faith and skipped toward health class. As Faith strolled to her own locker she heard a boy in a slight panic, "This isn't my report! 'Nazi Germany was a model of a well-ordered society'? I didn't write that! Who's been in my files?"
Willow hopped down the steps next to the panicked boy. She was smiling at her phone when a hand was placed over her eyes.
"Hup, guess who?"
"Uh, Xander?" Willow asked him.
"Yeah, but keep guessing anyway."
"Xander," she said flatly.
Xander removed his hand from her eyes, "Oh, I can't fool ya, you see right through my petty charade. We goin' to the Bronze tonight?"
Smiling softly Willow replied, "Not me, I think I'm gonna call it an early night."
"Oh, Malcolm, right?" at her nod he continued, "Yeah, I heard. But you're gonna be missin' out. I'm plannin' to be witty. I'm gonna make fun of all the people who won't talk to me."
"That's nice. Have a good time!" she glanced down at her phone again and her smile brightened.
Faith caught up with Xander, "She's got it bad."
"It's puppy love," Xander shrugged. "When the newness wears off she'll be back to normal."
"I offered us up as a sacrificial double date," Faith confessed.
"I heard," Xander shrugged again. "There's not a lot I wouldn't do for Willow."
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
The next day Amy, Faith, and Xander stood on Willow's porch waiting for her to start their morning run. Xander was leaning on the doorbell when Ira Rosenberg jerked the door open. "Hi," the teens chorused.
"Xander, Amy and ah…" he paused and scratched his head, "Hope? Charity? "
She shook her head.
"Must be Faith then, you don't seem like a Temperance or Prudence," he grinned. "Unless it's Chastity. But then I think that borders on child abuse. Anyway, Willow was up late, so I don't think she's up for a run this morning."
"Oh, no," Amy slid passed him. "If I'm up so is she. Willow knew what time to expect us. She is so running."
Faith nodded as Ira gestured for them to come inside. Xander waited in the sitting room while the pair of girls went to retrieve their friend. When they came back down Willow was yawning and grumbling, "I don't understand why you don't want me to have this. I mean, boys don't chase me around all the time. I thought you'd be happy for me."
"It's not about that," Amy said, "I don't care that you were up all night chatting with a boy. I care that you join us on the morning run like you promised you would."
"It's that whole actions having consequences thing," Faith offered. "If you're all worried about how we feel about your cyber-beau we could head over to his place this weekend. Would you like that?"
"Yeah," Willow blushed slightly.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
After the morning run, a quick shower and a change of clothes the slayer stopped by the computer lab. "Dave?" Faith called out to the oblivious teen. Fritz eyed her from a few seats away. "Hey, Dave!"
He jumped in his seat when her hand touched his shoulder, "Gah! Oh, what do you want?"
"You're a tech nerd right?"
Dave nodded.
"If I wanted to find out if someone was from where they said they were, like roughly, how would you go about that?"
"That's a challenge," the skinny boy frowned.
"I just wanna make sure Willows boyfriend is what, who he claims," Faith explained.
"Leave Willow alone," he snapped.
"Huh? What's got your panties in a twist?"
"None of your business," Dave turned back to his computer.
"Are you Malcolm?" Faith asked suddenly. She hoped he was. If he was, it meant that Malcolm was Willow's age, local and best of all human.
"Of course not," the boy snorted and resumed work on his project. "Look, I've got work to do. I'll talk to you later, okay."
The slayer sighed and left. She could feel Fritz watching her as she went. Still having time before her first class Faith went to talk to Giles.
"I'm telling you, something is going on," Faith complained to the librarian as he packed books to move to the house. "It's not just Willow being irresponsible; a sign of the apocalypse in and of itself. But Dave is all twitchy and suspicious. And the less said about Fritz the better."
"Those boys aren't sparklingly normal as it is," the librarian marked out ten more occult books that needed replacing with more mundane titles. "I-I-I really don't know how to advise you. Things involved with a computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such I'd be more in my element."
"You are so getting computer classes," Faith muttered.
Giles glared at her for a moment. Finally, he said, "You could, um, tail Dave, see if he's up to something, I suppose."
Faith nodded.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Arriving at the large gray home she shared with Giles, Faith headed into the kitchen. Giles was making dinner and Xander was whittling stakes. "Anyone know what CRD is?"
"Calax Research and Development," Xander didn't look up from his task. "It's a computer research lab."
The other two stared at him.
He squirmed under their gaze, "Third largest employer in Sunnydale 'til it closed down last year. My uncle, Rory, used to work there, in a floor sweeping capacity."
"So, it's closed, and unlikely to have good security. Since Dave walked right in, in broad daylight. We'll check it out after work."
"Whatever is going on there may be on the up-and-up," Giles tried.
"No, if CRD opened, it would've been on the news," Xander countered.
The watcher sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "We will observe and gather more information tonight. We'll save breaking in until after we have a genuine plan."
The teens nodded.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Ms. Calendar entered the library the next morning and looked around for Giles. He was shelving books. Every once in a while, he would flip through a text, set it off to the side and make a note in a small spiral-bound notepad.
"I just came by to check your new database, make sure your cross reference table isn't glitching. 'Cause I'm guessing you haven't gone anywhere near it," she teased.
"Uh, I'm still sorting through the chaos you left behind you," Giles sighed. He really didn't blame Ms. Calendar. If the Council had shipped the books to his home, as they should have, there wouldn't be any chaos to sort through.
"You're such a snob!" the computer teacher grumbled.
"I am no such thing," the librarian retorted.
"Oh, you are a big snob. You, you think that knowledge should be kept in these carefully guarded repositories where only a handful of white guys can get at it," she accused.
"Nonsense!" Giles snapped. "I think people who can read should be allowed to comingle and interact with tangible information; as well as other human beings."
"Well, ahem, I think you'll be very happy here with your musty, old books," Ms. Calendar lifted a tome from the cart and began leafing through it.
"These musty old books have a great deal more to say than any of your fabulous web pages," Giles grumbled.
"Hmm," she responded distractedly. "This one doesn't have a whole lot more to say."
Giles stared at the empty book.
"Is it a diary?" she asked.
"How odd. I haven't looked through all the volumes yet, I didn't, um..." he trailed off. Giles closed the book. There was an etching of a demon with a short snarling muzzle and ram's horns on the cover.
"What is it?" Ms. Calendar asked, her voice filled with concern.
"Uh, um, a, a diary, yes. I imagine that's what it is," he stammered. "Well, it's been so nice talking to you." Giles started for his office.
"We were fighting," she protested.
"Must do it again sometime, yes?" he replied. "Bye, now."
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Willow was sitting next to Faith in biology as Mr. Verona lectured about ecology. Faith took notes and doodled crosses she'd like to get stitched onto the back of a pair of MMA gloves. The red head was surreptitiously typing on her phone.
Wil: Do you think we could meet?
Mal: I think we should. Soon.
Wil: What about this weekend?
Mal: That could work.
Wil: I'm nervous.
Mal: I'm not. Isn't that strange?
Wil: That's what Faith doesn't understand, how comfortable you can make me feel.
Mal: Faith just makes trouble. She was always getting into fights at her old school.
Wil: How did you know that?
Mal: It's on her permanent record.
Willow didn't respond. She furrowed her brow as she studied the small screen.
Mal: You must have mentioned it.
Wil: I guess.
Mal: Let's not worry about her anymore.
Wil: I have to sign off. I'll talk to you later.
Mal: Don't.
Wil: Bye.
She turned her phone off and slipped it back into her pocket. Faith smiled.
After class, Dave jogged up to them, "Faith!"
"Dave! 'Sup?" the slayer grinned at him.
"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I haven't been getting much sleep lately, ya know?" he apologized.
"No sweat, we've all been there," Faith shrugged.
"Anyway, I looked into that problem you were having," he said nervously. "I, um, I can give you the 411 if you stop by the lab later."
"Sure thing. You free after school?" Faith smiled at him. Dave nodded. "Thanks, Dave," the slayer patted his arm as she started towards the cafeteria with her friends. Willow opted for the salad bar again while Amy indulged in chicken nuggets, Jojos, and pudding. Xander was adding olives to his salad. "That is a confusing lunch Xan," Faith shook her head. "Salad without dressing, southwestern corn, chili with jalapeños…"
"Have patience, young Padawan," he grinned at them while grabbing a bag of nacho-flavored Doritos and a serving of sour cream. "And you will see a true work of art."
"It's a taco salad," Faith put it together.
"Needs salsa," Willow piped up.
"I've got that covered," Xander patted his pants pocket.
Faith smirked at his antics and grabbed a carton of milk.
"Got to give him credit, he thinks outside the box," Amy chuckled.
"And if he does have salsa that's some fine pre-planning on his part," Faith added. The group paid for their food and claimed their regular table outside. Faith opened her lunch to find Giles was getting British on her again. When he'd first made her an English breakfast she'd thought it was weird. Fried tomato and baked beans just didn't go with eggs and sausage. But it filled her up and kept her full. Lunch was generally light. Just a sandwich, sliced fruit, veggie sticks, and hummus, usually. This time, however, there was a scotch egg, a couple of Cornish pasties, a chopped cobb salad, and the leftover cauliflower cheese from dinner. Clearly, Giles had claimed the creamed peas with bacon for himself.
"And you called my lunch confusing," Xander ribbed her while lining seven mild Taco Bell sauce packets up next to his tray.
"Apparently Giles likes to bake," she shrugged. "This is a boiled egg, covered in sausage and breaded. These are basically beef stew hot pockets. Salad, nothing weird there. And this, this is the best cheese sauce ever."
"On cauliflower, though?" Xander questioned.
"You put cheese sauce on everything; you have no grounds to question it. Here," she offered him a bite.
Xander took the offered bite of British cuisine. He chewed thoughtfully before swallowing and declaring, "Yum-oh!"
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
The lab was dim and looked deserted. Faith cautiously stepped inside. "Dave?" she called out. She headed toward the study room at the back, hoping he was in there. "Hello?"
As the slayer reached out to grab the doorknob Dave called out from the front of the room, "Faith! Don't!"
Turning to the boy, she spotted an electrical cord running from an outlet into the study room. She grabbed the cord and unplugged it. Faith heard the patter and squeak of rubber soles on linoleum as Dave ran off. She opened the door. The cord ran up to the knob where the wires were stripped and wrapped around it.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
"I'm gonna kill Dave!" Xander growled.
"He tried to warn me," Faith shrugged. She sat on the end of the library table watching Xander pace.
"Warn you that he set you up?" the boy gaped at her. "You could have died!"
"As a slayer, the amperes produced by an extension cord wouldn't have killed her," Giles soothed the teen. He handed Faith a mug of tea, a gesture she was starting to read as 'to soothe your nerves after a fright.' She was more frightened of the upcoming history test.
"Dave doesn't know that," Xander shot back.
"Be that as it may…" Giles began.
"I don't get why Dave would do it, though," Faith interrupted. "I mean, what does he get out of it?"
"Maybe he caught you spying on him?" Xander offered.
Giles trotted over to the book cage. He returned holding up a thick tome with a snarling horned demon on the cover, "Does this look familiar to either of you?"
"Looks like a book," Xander smirked. "Yes, that is a book."
Giles gave him a dry look. "In the dark ages, the souls of demons were sometimes trapped in certain volumes. They remained locked within the book, harmless unless the pages were read aloud. Unless I'm mistaken, this is Moloch, the Corrupter. A very deadly and seductive demon. He draws people to him with promises of love, power, and knowledge. Preys on impressionable minds," the watcher's tone was foreboding.
"Like Dave's," the slayer provided.
"Dave, and who knows how many others," he replied solemnly. He opened the book revealing the blank pages. "He had already been released when that dreadful Calendar woman found it in the pile of scanned books," he gestured to the slowly diminishing mountain of books.
"So a big, bad, horned demon is walking around Sunnydale, and nobody's noticed?" Xander asked incredulously.
"If he's so powerful, why bother with Dave? Why not come at me directly?" Faith wondered.
"I don't know. And I don't know who could've read that book. It wasn't even in English," the watcher sighed.
"It was scanned?" Faith asked.
The trio looked over at the computer.
"And that released the demon?" Xander asked.
"No," Faith corrected, "Transferred him."
Giles paled, "The scanner read the book and that, that brought Moloch out as information to be absorbed."
"So, he's gone binary on us?" Xander raised his eyebrows. "Moloch is in this computer?"
Faith nodded, "And every computer connected to it." She gestured weakly at the modem.
"He's everywhere," Giles muttered.
"What are we gonna do?" Xander inquired.
"Willow scanned him into her file. It may be a futile gesture, but I suggest we, um, uh, delete it," the watcher stammered.
"Solid!" Faith beamed at him, proud that he was learning computer stuff. The slayer hopped off the table and strode over to the computer. "Okay, Willow did most of the scanning so it's probably under her name," Faith typed Willow into the search bar. "Yes, Willow folder. Homework? No. Extra credit? Huh-uh. Oh, bingo! Special projects. Book scanning. And we delete the untitled books, for minimum loss." Faith jumped back as a demonic face flashed on the screen.
"Stay away from Willow! It is none of your business!" was growled out of the speakers.
"Willow's my friend and kicking demon ass is my business!" she snapped while emptying the computer's recycle bin. "Don't know if that worked." Faith powered the computer off.
"This is very bad," Giles muttered.
"Next step?" Xander prompted.
"Get Willow and Amy. Wills could be talking to him right now. God, that creeps me out!" the slayer went to the library phone and dialed the redhead's number.
"What does he want with Willow?" Xander asked.
"She released him," Giles said simply. "Sort of."
"Willow isn't answering her cell. I know she had it in biology," Faith bit her lip. "I'm gonna check the computer lab. You guys call her place, and Amy."
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Amy answered her phone on the second ring, "Hey, Xander." She paused to listen to the other teen. "Yeah, I just dropped her off at her place." She nodded along with his response and said, "I'm on my way, five minutes." Amy was already running back the way she came. The morning jogs with her friends were beginning to accomplish what years of her mother's nagging could not.
Good pacing and developing muscles meant she was only winded and not exhausted when she arrived at back at Willow's home. She banged on the door hard enough to rattle the stained glass. "Willow!" Amy shouted. She gave a frustrated grunt and checked to see if anyone was looking at her. "Recludo!" the witch hissed. She stormed into the house when the lock clicked. "Willow!"
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
"Calm down, deep breath. We'll come get you," Xander soothed the distraught girl on the phone. "We'll find her. I promise."
"Dave is… He's dead," Faith murmured.
"How?" Giles asked.
"Hanged. Looks like suicide," the slayer grimaced.
"You don't think so?"
"Not after warning me. This is …" Faith straightened her shoulders. "We have to find Willow, now. You," she turned to Giles, "Got a way to get Moloch out of the 'Net?"
"I, I have records of the ceremonies, but, but that's for a creature of the flesh. Th-this could be something else completely," the watcher stammered.
"Then ask Ms. Calendar to help," The slayer shrugged.
"How am I supposed to convince her that there's a demon on the Internet?" he inquired.
"Don't know," she shrugged again. "Think of something." She grabbed Xander's arm to tug him along, then stopped. "I need the keys."
"You're not old enough to drive!" the librarian gaped at her.
The slayer just held out her hand.
"Just be careful," he caved. He tossed her the keys and trotted into his office to call Ms. Calendar. Giles pinched the bridge of his nose when the voice mail picked up. He left a short message and flipped the radio on.
The news was terrible. Computer systems worldwide were crashing or behaving oddly. Giles powered the computer back on. He paced for a few moments before snatching the records to read up on the ceremonies.
"Hi. I got your message. What's so urgent?" Ms. Calendar asked after knocking on the door.
Giles switched his radio off and moved to lean against the table. "Um, thank you for coming. Uh, I need your help," he gave a nervous laugh. "But before that, um, I need you to believe something that, um, you may not want to," he folded his arms across his chest. "Uh, there's, uh... something's got into the, um... i-i-inside, um..." he stopped his stammering and took a steadying breath, "There's a demon in the Internet."
"I know," Ms. Calendar replied.
Giles arched his eyebrows at her. He unfolded his arms and stood up straight. "You already know? How exactly is that?"
"Come on, there've been portents for days. I mean, power surges, online shutdowns. You should see the bones I've been casting. I knew this would happen sooner or later. I mean, it's probably a, a mischief demon, ya know, like Kelkor, or..."
"It's Moloch," Giles interrupted.
"The Corrupter? Oh, boy," she blew out a breath. "I shoulda remembered, I just don't..."
"Uh... You don't seem exactly surprised by... Who are you?" he narrowed his eyes at her. "You hardly seem the type to be casting bones."
"Wrong and snobby. You think the realm of the mystical is limited to ancient texts and relics? That bad old science made the magic go away? Mm. The divine exists in cyberspace same as out here," she huffed.
"Are you a witch?"
"I don't have that kinda power. 'Technopagan' is the term," she replied.
Giles chuckled. "Wouldn't Techno Wiccan be more PC? Pagan is a derogatory term for non-Abrahamic religions, after all."
"Smug," she muttered. "Sure Techno Wiccan. Whatever."
"What's on the net at the moment is less than divine," He grabbed the empty book. "I have the binding rituals at hand, but I'm completely out of my idiom."
Ms. Calendar moved over to the computer, "I think I can help! Well, I hope, I mean, well," she paused. "Do you know how he got in?"
"He was, uh, scanned, I believe," the librarian offered.
"And you want him back in the book?" she tapped the tome.
The walkie-talkie in his office chirped before he could answer. He nodded to Ms. Calendar as he jogged in to grab it. "Go ahead."
"Willow was taken, minimal struggle," Faith's voice came through the speaker.
"Where are you?"
"CRD."
"Ms. Calendar and I are, uh, working to get Moloch offline."
Ms. Calendar flipped through the text on the ritual. "The first thing we have to do is form the circle of Kayless. Right?" She crossed over to the book cage and sifted through his supplies.
"Form a circle? But there's only two of us. That's really more of a line."
Finding some candles, she set about arranging them around the computer. "You're not getting it, Rupert. We have to form the circle inside," She sighed taking a seat at the computer. "I'm putting out a tweet. I just hope enough of my group responds."
"Won't Moloch just shut you down?"
"Well, I'm betting he won't figure out what we're doing until it's too late."
"Hoping and betting, that's what we've got." Giles groaned.
"You wanna throw in praying? Be my guest," Ms. Calendar responded. "Okay! We're up. You read; I type. Ready?"
"Uh, I am. By the power of the divine, by the essence of the word, I command you..."
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Xander was limping badly as the trio made for the back entrance. He'd fallen making his way over the fence. Amy made short work of the door, "Nihil obsaepiunt iter!" It smoked lightly but offered no resistance when she pushed on it.
When they ran across guards Faith let the other two incapacitate them; Xander with a quick punch or a sleeper hold and Amy with a nifty sleeping spell. The slayer slammed into a heavy steel door at the end of a long hallway. Rubbing her shoulder she gestured for Amy to try.
"Sto ónoma tis Ekátis sas exorísei! Petáxte apó tin parousía mou! Prépei na fýgei!" Amy's voice became unnatural and booming as she chanted. "By my power I command it!"
The steel door flew from its frame crashing into the wall beyond.
"Whoa," Xander gasped.
"Remind me never to piss you off," Faith nodded at her.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
"By the power of the circle of Kayless, I command you," Giles read aloud as Ms. Calendar typed. "Demon, come! I command you!"
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
As the trio of heroes entered the lab where Moloch was keeping their friend, the demon – or rather a robotic representation of him – was writhing in agony.
"Okay, Robot Jock, step away from the damsel," the slayer strode forward and booted him in the chest. Faith grunted.
Moloch staggered slightly. He wailed, "No! I won't go back!"
Amy grabbed Willow, "Come on."
Xander was grabbed from behind by a man in a lab coat. Xander slammed the lab tech into the wall. He elbowed the man in the gut. The guy slid down the wall clutching his stomach. With a satisfied grin and a severe limp, the raven haired teen jogged to catch up with the retreating girls.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
"Demon, COME!" Giles Commanded. Wind swirled around the library causing the candles to flicker erratically. The computer sparked several times but continued to function.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
The demon was screaming now. Faith took advantage of his distraction and kicked his knee joint. Moloch fell to one knee, still howling. The electronic roar slowly died. His head came up to connect with Faith's boot. Moloch stood suddenly, flinging Faith aside with one arm.
"I was omnipotent. I was everything! Now I'm trapped in this shell!" he bellowed.
"We have to help Faith!" Willow skidded to a stop next to a fire extinguisher.
"I've got nothing left, Will," Amy confessed.
"We need to get you out of here," Xander stated.
"This is my fault! I won't leave her!" the redhead snapped. She ripped the extinguisher from its bracket.
The trio of teens heard a hard metallic impact followed by a shriek of primal rage. Faith ducked below another powerful strike. She somersaulted away from the demon. He advanced on her. His damaged leg did not slow him down. Moloch had trapped the slayer against the wall. He reached out to grab her.
"Malcolm!" Willow shouted. He turned to the girl. "Remember me, your girlfriend?!" She thrust the fire extinguisher into his chest. The blow caused him to step back. "Well, I think it's time we break up!" She hit him again backing him up another half step. She aimed the next blow at his face. Unfortunately, Moloch snatched the extinguisher from her and cast it aside.
While he was distracted by Willow Xander scurried over to Faith. He shoved a fire axe into her hands. Moloch grabbed the back of his shirt and tossed him away. "This body's all I have left. But it's enough to crush you," he returned his attention to the slayer.
She only growled and swung the axe at his leg. The sharpened steel bit into aluminum and plastic joints. The axe was wrenched free just as quickly and slammed home again. And again. The leg was soon severed as Faith ducked under his powerful strikes. The slayer turned her attention to the downed demon's head.
Moloch was scattered all over the hallway before the slayer calmed down and dropped the fire axe.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Giles approached the computer lab with some trepidation. He cleared his throat and knocked lightly to get Ms. Calendar's attention.
"Well, look who's here! Welcome to my world," she greeted him warmly. In a teasing tone, she added, "You scared?"
"I'm remaining calm, thank you. Uh, I just wanted to, uh," he held up a silver earring, "return this. I found it among the new books, and naturally, I thought of you."
"Cool. Thanks," Ms. Calendar fingers brushed his lightly as she took it from him.
"Uh, well, I'll see you anon," Giles turned to leave.
"Can't get outta here fast enough, can you?" she asked.
"Truthfully," Giles turned back toward her, "I'm even less anxious to be around computers than I used to be."
"Well, it was your book that started all the trouble," she pointed out, "not a computer."
Giles considered arguing that the scanner had, in fact, started it. However, he was inclined to believe it was the Council's fault for shipping the books to the school in the first place. The book should never have been near a computer. He remained silent on the subject.
"Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?" Ms. Calendar pressed.
"The smell."
"Computers don't smell, Rupert." She gave a little exasperated laugh.
"I know! Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is," he grinned. "A whiff of certain cologne, the aroma of fresh baked goods can bring up experiences... long forgotten. Books smell. Musty and, and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer, is, uh, it has no texture, no context. It's, it's there and then it's gone," he sighed. "If it's to last, then, then the getting of knowledge should be, tangible, it should be, um... smelly."
"Well! You really are an old-fashioned boy, aren't you?" she teased.
"Well, I-I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear," he snarked back.
"That's not where I dangle it," Ms. Calendar smiled mischievously.