I just wanted to make a quick note that Elizabet is a real person- but her name is not Elizabet. I know her and I have got her full permission to use her in the story. She was also the first one to read this chapter and check so everything was okay with her. So, time for the last chapter.
I walked inside the airport with Andrew- he and I had been talking all the way to the landing and into the airport. When we came in the first thing I saw was uncle Leon standing leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets and smiling when he saw me. I let Andrew take my bag for a moment and then ran straight into the arms of my uncle, he lifted me up and then just held me for several seonds. I leaned my head towards his shoulder and we just stood like that while Andrew stood behind me and watched us. At last I let go and Leon let me down again.
"'ey sir." Andrew said and shook Leon's hand. "Andrew Rosehill." I took my bag and hung it over my shoulder again while walking through the airport with the two men, but suddenly Leon stopped and pointed to a TV- screen hanging on the wall, it was black so I frowned confused and didn't get what he wanted me to see.
"There was one DVD I didn't send to you." He told me. "And I couldn't wait to show you it so I made up a plan with my friend who works here so… here we go." The TV was turned on and a clip I recognized straight away came up with my dad's T- shirt and hands first showed on the screen as he fixed something with the camera and then backed away and it showed me, uncle Leon, mum, dad and Jonas standing to get a family- photo- or video more likely.
The next clip showed me holding Jonas. I was probably around six and he about one. I held him in front of me with my arms wrapped around his stomach and leaned my chin against his shoulder and then mum and dad came into the picture too while Leon sneaked up behind us. I smiled sadly when the clip changed to Leon and Jonas playing clapping games- of course Leon messing it up every time.
When I started having seizures Leon had filmed some times during me seizuring and what happened afterwards to show to the doctors. The next clip that was showed was right after one of the first seizures, dad sat on the floor and pulled me up on his lap, mum sat by him and stroke my back and Jonas sat and held my hand. I smiled- I didn't have any memory of this ever happening- but I was happy we had this sweet family moment filmed.
The next clip was one of my very favorites with dad lifting Jonas up and running around holding Jonas upside down with Jonas chocking with laugher and I and mum standing by just shaking our heads at them. "This is from Greece" Leon said to me- in reality. "Levi sent me some clips and pictures the day before you left so I got this."
The clips kept on changing many times. As usual it came back to the first in the ending with us trying to take a full- family photo. "Why isn't it shooting" Dad exclaimed after some while. "Why isn't it shooting?" He walked towards the camera and then stumbled andmore or less flew on top of the camera before the movie stopped at the photo we had shot that day.
"Family is forever" text came up on the photo and I read it out loud. When the screen went black people at the airport clapped their hands and someone working there went over to get the DVD out. "Leon…" I began hesitating. "I and Andrew talked the whole way here and… he's staying here for a few months and… is it possible he could stay at ours for a few days until he's found a good hotel or something?" Leon hesitated- I knew this was a stupid idea to ask.
"Okay… but you're staying in the garage until you've proved that we can trust you." I high- fived with Andrew and he thanked. I and him had been talking all the way on the plane. Which was about five hours. He was going to Sweden to work for a few months, and if he liked it he might stay. Only he yet didn't have too much money to pay for hotel with.
"Listen Emma…" Leon suddenly exclaimed. "You know how we were told how you were the only survivor from the crash. Turned out we were a bit wrong. There was one other survivor."
A few days later I sat in a seat in a bus and travelled towards town. Now when I lived with Leon I lived the the county next to he one I had lived in before, now I was on a bus between them two to go to church right outside downtown to meet the other survivor. Though- how we came to he conlusion we'd meet in church I had no idea.
I didn't mind though, the church was less than ten minutes walking from the graveyard mum, dad and Jonas laid. And I went there two hours before I was meeting up with this guy and brought the letters I had written to them to go to the graveyard and read them out loud. Because of the bus I had taken I would have to switch bus in town and go another while to the church village. If I had chosen another bus I could have gone straight to church. But this was the only bus line that passed the village I used to live in before.
At the stop in that village a girl got on the bus- I didn't know her that well- she lived further down in the village than what I did. But even though I couldn't remember her name, the girl with the glasses, the brown, curly hair and the red jacket was a girl this whole village had learned to know as "the girl that goes out walking around the area several times a day"
When I finally arrived at the old church it was less than an hour until I was meeting the man. I walked down the aisle and stopped below the Jesus- cross and stood with my hands in my pockets and my head hanging backwards as I looked up at the cross and jumped when I heard a voice behind me. "Emilia?" At first I didn't recognize the voice, but just as I began to turn around she appologized, for some reason I stopped with trying to localize whose voice it was. And when I felt a hand on my shouder I knew instantly.
"Elizabet" I threw my arms around the woman's neck and hugged her tightly. Elizabet worked in this church's district and- mark my words- if there was anyone except for the other survivor I could have chosen to meet here today- despite all the people that walked in and out here every day- there was no one who could have been better than meeting Elizabet. I had met her loads with how much I went to church with my parents and Jonas and she- she would always take her time to listen, or talk or hug or whatever was needed- like right now- when she for several seconds just held her arms wrapped around me silently.
"Hey Emma." She finally said when we let go. I leaned back towards the rail around the benches in the front and greeted her back before I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked down and sighed trying to come up with anything to say. "How you're doing?" Elizabet asked after several seconds in silence. I leaned my head from one side to another.
"I guess I could have done better but I'm doing alright." I pulled my backpack off and pulled out the letters I had written. "I've… well… I've found out there… there was another survivor, he's coming here in about an hour. I'm going to the graves I just… got stuck here a bit." I stopped talking. I had met Elizabet between the accident and when I went to Great Britain.
"Do you want me to come?" She asked, I bit my lip. I wanted to tell her no-I didn't want to be a bother for her. But another part of me wanted to say yes- and that weighed more as I looked up at her and bobbed my head up and down. "Come on then." She laid her arm around my shoulders and I pulled my backpack back on and then we walked out of the church and down the road while I was telling her what had happened the last few months.
"Can you wait here?" I asked when we were about ten metres away from the closest grave. "I want to go over there by myself." I pulled my backpack off and looked around. Today would probably be one of the last fine days before the winter came. It wasn't especially warm- only a few digrees over freezing and that meant too cold to go without jacket. But there was no wind and the sun was shining. I looked around to the trees that had almost lost their leaves for the fall.
I walked over to dad's gravestone- we had decided to give them each gravestone so if anyone for any reason wanted to go and talk to just one of them- they could do so. Even though the graves weren't far away from each other- actually they were put in line. I went over to dad's first and sat down crossed legged in front of the stone that read "Levi Zachariah Peterson 21/1/72- 15/4/12" and read.
Dear dad
Do you know that one of my first memories with you is from a day out of town right before Christmas. There were people everywhere as always that time of the year and even though I held your hand I thought I would lose my grip of it and of course it didn't take long until I had. And I turned around and you weren't there. I looked around and I could just barely hear you shouting but it soon faded off in the crowd and you weren't anywhere to be seen.
I started crying and as I was too little to know what to do if I had lost you so I simply sat down on the floor and cried worse than ever. What felt like hours later- yet it can't have been long with no one else having reacted before it I felt someone grab me and lift me up. I had my eyes closed with crying and at first I thought it was someone scary but when I felt you hold me close and heard your voice I knew it was you and I knew I was safe.
Not to lose your grip of my hand again if you took it you lifted me up on your shoulders before walking through the mall again. And there I sat and you were so tall and I was big enough to see over all the tops of other people's heads and I can remember that I just sat there and looked around and I knew that I was safe with you.
And I can't remember ever feeling so safe and feeling so strong as I always did when I was with you like I was right here. Because I knew there and then that if anything sary came you would make it all go away. So now when you're gone…. When you were alive I would often be scared. I would often be kind of lost but I knew I would always be safe and I would always find my way back with your help.
So at first when you died. I was sure that without you I would just lose myself in the dark and never find my way back to anything again. I was so scared and I swore I would always be scared because you're the one who made me feel safe. But I now know that you will still be here and make me feel safe and help me find the way through the crowds. And when I'm too weak to walk on my own, you're still going to lift me up on your shoulders and carry me. So I will never lose you and you will never lose me.
It is because I've realized this I know I can feel safe and find my way again. Because I know that you're always there. And when you're there I know that everything will be alright. But for it to be alright again, I also need to let you go. I'm going to let you fly- but I know that you'll always be there anyway. But if I don't let go and just keep holding you down it won't be good for any of us.
So as long as you'll be with me every step of the way- I'll take care of the rest.
I love you
- Emilia.
I looked back to Elizabet and smiled slightly, she smiled back and asked if I wanted her to come closer. I shook my head, stood up and walked over to Jonas's gravestone. We had decided to put Jonas's in between mum's and dad's so it was as if they would be standing on each side of him protecting him.
I sat down on the grass in front of Jonas's gravestone and watched up at the golden text at the black stone "Jonas Levi Peterson 05/10/2006- 16/4/2012" I sighed and looked back at Elizabet again, she smiled back at me and it gave me the strength I needed to turn around and with shaking hands I held the letter and read out loud.
Dear Jonas
Jonas, you were and is still the very most important part of my life. It feels weird saying that because probably mum and dad should be the most important parts too. I love them just as much as I love you but yet- you are the most important of everything.
I don't think you understand how much you saved the family Jonas. Before you were born- every time dad was home he and mum would just fight all the time. I don't remember much of it, I was so little and they would always try to hide it from me. It wasn't until years later that I understood that when mum found out she was pregnant with you. They had started going through a divorce, but when she found that out they decided to do another try.
And then when you were born dad decided to be home for two full years. And they decided to instead of getting a divorce and just give up. They would keep on trying and fight for our family to work. It was partly to be able to find back to each other, partly to not do that to me. But mostly it was because they didn't want to break the family for you as a new- born.
You were still too little to understand what you did then when you died. Mum and dad were going to tell you about it as you got older but- I guess there just wasn't time. So even though you're not really old enough to understand how big the things you did were- thank you for mending our family.
And the thing would also be that before you were born and mum was at work and dad's away I would be at uncle Leon's or at day care. But I still felt so alone with always being sent from one place to another all day long and falling asleep at one house to wake up at another. After you were born it would still happen once dad had left again, but it wasn't as terrible anymore because there was always someone who would always be there wherever I was- and that someone was you.
To know that I had a safe point in all of this. That even if it would all be gone tomorrow I would always have you there and that was what meant more to me than anything else. I know I sometimes complained about having to take care of you but in fact there was nothing I enjoyed doing more than spend as much time as possible with you.
Because I loved you more than I've ever loved anything or anyone else. And I still do. I will never stop loving you. And that's why I know I need to let you go because I can't keep you from flying anymore. Nothing ever hurt me more than knowing that it was all gone- you too. But nothing makes me feel more safe than to know that you're not gone because you're always right there with me.
And that's why I need to let you go- and it doesn't mean I love you any less. It doesn't mean I will forget you because I love you more than ever and I will always remember you. So fly JoJo. Fly free like a bird on the wind and- most importantly- no regrets.
I love you
–Emma.
I drew a deep breath, put the letter to Jonas in my pocket and stood up and walked over to mum's grave with the last letter. I turned around and looked back to Elizabet again,took a deep breath and then turned around towards the gravestone again and read "Sara Monica Peterson f. Norell 4/3/1984- 15/4/2012" the f. meant that her last name before she married to my dad was Norell. I lifted my hand and let my fingertop follow the golden letters before I took anpther deep breath and started reading the last letter out loud.
Dear Mum
Do you remember how you always would fuss over me? And like always be worried for me and Jonas. Do you remember how Jonas would never mind but it would always drive me crazy remember? And when I asked you why you always did it you hugged me and said that you see at your work how fast and how easy life can turn if you're not being careful or not. And you were always worried because you always saw at your work what can happen.
You were also worried about the plane ride. We all kept on telling you that flying is safe and that it's a lot safer than riding a car and all that. And you were so tired of hearing that at last you gave in and simply made up your mind that you were going to just enjoy the ride like we did and everything. And that you weren't going to worry anything during the time we were there.
But I heard you talk to dad that night. That night a few days before we were going home. And you had such a weird feling as if you knew something was going wrong. You'd have that feeling quite often and it always turned out to be okay anyway so dad didn't care much about it and I just went back to bed.
But I wished we had taken that feeling seriously. Like you said- stayed a couple of extra days and then gone home. It was not like none of us wanted to go home as early as possible so for just once I wish that we had taken it seriously and listened to it- then you would still be here.
And yet I know that you're here anyway. And you're still here worrying about me more than ever and doing your best to keep me safe in the ways you can. But I know that if you keep on doing it too much then it will not be good for any of us.
So I want to promise you that you don't need to worry about me anymore. Do you remember at the plane you were talking about how big I'd become. How grown I was and how you remembered how tiny and fragile I was when I was little.
But I'm not that tiny and fragile little baby anymore mum. I'm going to be your big girl now and with you all here beside me I know I can make it through. So don't worry anymore mum. You don't need to. Just stay with me.
I love you
-Emilia
I put the last of the letters in my pocket with the others stood up and then looked back to Elizabet without actually turning around. I smiled, then looked back to mum's grave "You don't need to worry mum." I sighed and turned around to walk back to Elizabet, took my backack and then we walked back towards the church.
"You've got my phone number if you need me." Elizabet stroke my arm. "And there's always my living room sofa if you need somewhere to stay." We walked up the stone stairs towards the door into the church and through the opening. When we came in there was a man sitting in a bench in the back, he had half- long hair with a light brown color in he threw his head backwards to get the fringe out of his eyes he spotted me.
"Hi." I said. He nodded back. "I'm Emma… Emilia Peterson." I bit my lip not to start babbling nervously.
"I'm Jakob"
Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to think about something else than the crash with the other survivor sitting right in front of me, maybe it was the fact that Elizabet still was there with her hand on my shoulder… but suddenly I had a perfect ending for the essay I had handed in, and when I e- mailed the ending to Mr. Anderson this was it.
But the ones we can rely on the most are the ones that stay there when our past catches up. Because when the past catches up it means that things are going to get harder than ever. So if we instead of running away for it try to deal with it- the ones who stay there by our side through all times are the ones that are our real family.
So that's it. All I need now is for the real Elizabet to say that everything with her is alright. Oh- and I know she would say that Emma could borrow her living room sofa if needed because she once said it to me.
This is not the last thing you hear about Emma. But the next sequel will hold characters from Love is stronger than hate too so I need to finish that too before I can start it.
Oh- the girl Emma meets on the bus… anyone can guess who it is?
Thank you all for reading this, and for the fact that you stayed with Emma when her past caught up.
-Linnéa