Touch My Heart...Chapter 5
A/N - First of all, Amber and I would love to thank each and every one of you who are reading this story. The reviews from the last chapter were amazing and numerous. Thank you so much for that! We both really appreciate it! So, once again, I'm sorry that we could only update once again this week. It's sad that we can't do it more often, but with having to send our parts back and forth, it can take longer to get our chapters out. So in return, we have a chapter here for you that's over 10 000 words to make up for it! We hope you all enjoy it very much and we also hope to have as many reviews as we did the last time. Once again, thank you! Oh and remember to follow the story! - RoxyGirl24 & Valorie818 aka FallenAngels
(Will's POV)
"So, are you nervous about meeting me dad?", Alex asked as we entered the gates leading up to the Kiriakis estate, "Just so you know, my dad's very excited to finally meet you. He should be getting here in a couple of minutes."
"Great! Sounds awesome", I lied as I parked the car and turned off the engine. Honestly, I was terrified to meet Mr. Kiriakis.
As dumb as this may sound, it kinda felt like meeting the parents of your girlfriend for the first time. Palms sweaty,
heaving breathing, nervous? Why in the hell would I even be nervous for that matter? I was just meeting the father of my friends Alex, Joey and of course, Jack. Wonder why it feels this weird though? Just because I was the first person to ever be able to get close to Jackson in this way, doesn't make me a super hero like everyone's making me out to be. What if I can't live up to everyone's expectations? What if when all this is over, they all realize that I'm the worst possible thing that could have ever happened to Jackson? How couldn't I possibly live with myself if I ever hurt him in any possible way, even if it wasn't intentionally?
"Earth to Will!", I heard a voice next me.
It took me a few seconds to snap out of my trance when I realized it was Alex and that he was talking to me, "Uh, yeah?"
"Where where you just now?", he asked with a genuinely concerned tone of voice.
"Sorry, man. I was just thinking about...", I paused slightly, "Stuff.."
"I see. Well, my dad should be here in about an hour, so it will give us sometime to get ready for dinner", Alex pointed out as he got out of the car, "You coming?", he asked looking intrigued about my current state of mind.
I simply nodded and looked over at Jack who was eager to go inside. I thought by now, Alex would have let it go, and pretended like everything was fine, but I guess I wasn't doing a very good job of hiding my troubles. Indeed, Alex was very persistent to say the least to find out what was troubling me so much.
"You sure you're okay? I mean, if you don't wanna come inside, it's fine. You really don't have to if...", Alex started saying, but I cut him off instantly.
"NO! I wanna go inside...Just give me a second, alright?"
"Alright then. I'll wait for you by the door so you don't get lost on your way inside", he said and giggled.
"Thanks...", I merely stated and watched as Alex got out of the car and walked up the stairs with Jack and Joey following right behind him.
I took a deep breath and laid my head back against the head rest and exhaled slowly, hoping to shake off this strange sentiment I was feeling. As it turned out, I had no such luck. As much as I hated the idea of going inside and putting myself out there in more ways than one I should say, I know it was the right thing to do. Jack was looking forward to having me over for dinner, and there was no way in hell that I was gonna disappoint him after what happened today. No way..., "Guess I'm just gonna have to deal with it for now", I said out loud to myself before I got out of the car and headed towards the entrance.
I always wondered what the Kiriakis estate would look like from the inside. I remember driving by here when I was a kid and asking my dad to stop so I could look up at it up closely. He would slow down as we drove by so I could have a better look at it, but never stopped completely. I watched closely as the boys were playing outside together. They did almost every time we went by the estate. It made me wonder what it would be like to have a real family one day. At the time, I didn't really understand the significance of the word family. But now, I think I'm finally beginning to understand what a family should be like...It should be like this...
I remember my dad asking my mom once if it would be alright for him to stop by and ask if I could go over to play with the boys. They got into a fight about it and I remember my mom saying that the Kiriakis family wasn't people with whom we associated with. That they were part of the "Upper class" as some people might say and that people like us, didn't fit into their lifestyles. I also remember this one time in the park where I saw them playing and I remember asking my mom if I could go play with them. She answered by saying that one of the Kiriakis boys was "Sick" using her own terms, and that I shouldn't play with someone like him. Little that I knew then that I would be in this position right now.
All these years I've wondered what it would be like to walk through those front doors, and now...Here I am. Standing in front of those same doors that were once forbidden to me as a child and only seconds away from finding out what it was like to be on the other side and to see what a real family would be like. And do you wanna know what the best part of it is? There is no one her to stop me anymore...
As I opened the doors and took a step inside, Jack was waiting impatiently at the entrance for me to come inside.
"Sorry to keep you waiting there, buddy. I had some...", I tried explaining to Jack, but Alex cut my off before I even had the chance to explain why it took me so long to come inside.
"Hey, Jack. You better go get ready for diner", Alex pointed out to Jack as took a step closer to me and whispered, "You wanna talk about it later?", he asked and gestured to Jack to go upstairs.
I pretended like I had no idea what he was talking about, "About what?", I asked innocently and looked over at Jack who standing near the edge of the stairs looking over at me like he was waiting for something. Or in this case, someone, "Uh, Alex?", I asked, hoping he could help me out in understanding what Jack was doing.
"What? You're not getting a free pass this time, mister", he said and stopped once he noticed me pointing towards the staircase.
He turned over and started laughing when he saw Jack standing there, "Oh, Jackson!"
"What's so funny?", I asked, because I didn't understand what was going on.
"I'm sorry. I should have told you about this before we came inside."
"Told me about what?", I asked in curiosity.
"Well, Jack has and after school routine as we call it. I'm the one who usually take him upstairs, but as it seems, he wants you to take him today", Alex informed me and smiled.
"Me?", I screamed out without thinking, "Why?"
"Because you're his new best friend", he said and laughed again, "I guess he feels safe around you. I still can't understand why, but...", he paused as if he was trying to find something wise to say next, but decided to pass up on the opportunity and go with the obvious, "So... would you mind taking him upstairs to his room? If it's not too much to ask while Joey and I get dinner started?"
I nodded quickly, "Uh, sure" I answered and watched as the all went off in their respected directions, everyone except for Jack that is.
Jack was watching me curiously from the corner of his eye. I wasn't sure what to make of it. I know this was Jack's way of communication. At times, it can be very confusing when you're not sure what to do. So I decided to go with my gut instinct and ask Jack to show me his room.
"So, you gonna take me up to your room?", I asked and waited for him to respond.
He smiled at me excitedly and started up the stairs, but stopped after steps later and waited for me to follow. So I did...
(Sonny's POV)
As I walked up the stairs with Will following me I was so excited be doing this with me. I normally do this with Alex, but today, since Will was here, I wanted it to be him. But as we reach my bedroom door I realized that I wasn't as ready for this as I thought. Bringing Will into my safe haven was a whole new step and I don't know how Will is going to react.
"You okay, Jack? Is there something wrong?"
Will's voice brought me out of my thoughts. I looked around the hallway trying to find a way out of this. Just because I took a major step today and touched Will's hand, doesn't mean that I am ready for him to see my most private possessions. I know that I purposely waited for him to follow me up the stairs, but that all changed once we had reached my bedroom door.
The touch of Will's fingers on my hand brought me back out of my thoughts. His fingers lightly brushed the inside of my fingers, which tickled a little. When he didn't pull away right away I could tell that he was asking me to lace our fingers together. So I complied, because I trusted him and he made me safe; just as safe as my room made me.
Will's voice so close to my ear made me shiver, "I get that you might be afraid to let me go inside your room, but this is me, Jack. It's Will... I know it's a big step for you to have a friend over. If you like, I can go back down stairs and wait for you there. Whatever makes you comfortable, Jack. Okay?"
I nod my hand, opened the door and pulled Will's hand to bring him into the room. Once the door was closed, I looked up at Will as he looked around the room. A small smile appeared on his face and that made me feel better, because that meant there wasn't anything here he didn't like. After a short time, Will looked back at me with an even bigger smile and I slowly released his hand, but I didn't want to let go just yet. But too soon we weren't holding hands anymore, so I turned around and headed down the short hallway that led to my bathroom. I didn't look back because I knew that I wouldn't be able to continue with my after school routine if I looked at him again.
(Will's POV)
Once we reached the top of the stairs, Jack walked up to what I presume to be his room, and stopped completely without opening the door.
"You okay, Jack? Is there something wrong?", I asked because I wasn't sure why he stopped.
Jack looked around us as if he was scared that someone might be watching us. I took that as I sign at Jack was nervous of letting me inside his room. I get that this came be a big step for him. Letting someone new see you in the light of your own home for the first time can be somewhat nerve racking. I get that, but...This is Jack...And this, is me...
I reached out slowly and touched the inside of his right hand by briefly brushing the inside with my own fingers and waited for him to make the next move.
Jack responded by intertwining his fingers with mine with hesitation. I took that as I sign of trust between us, "I get that you might be afraid to let me go inside your room, but this is me, Jack. It's Will... I know it's a big step for you to have a friend over. If you like, I can can go back down stairs and wait for you there. What ever make you comfortable, Jack. Okay?"
Jack nodded twice and opened the door and pulled me inside his room.
As I walked inside the oversized bed room, I could help but look around in curiosity. Everything was placed properly as I expected it to be. His books were placed in alphabetical order on the shelves, cloths hung up neatly inside his closet, and his drawing...plastered all over his walls. I could see why Jack was comfortable in here. Everything about this room spelled out "safe". Alex had explained it to me briefly that autistic people, like Jack for instance, needs to feel like they have some sort of control in a worlds that's so big and confusing for them most of the time. I think I finally understand that now. I smiled even harder when I noticed that one of the drawings that hung next to his bed was one of myself. I couldn't help be feel special in a weird way. No one as even made me feel as special as Jack does. The way he looks at me like I hold all the answers to the world when honestly, I'm just as confused about the world as he is. If now, even more. But there's just something about him that makes me feel such at ease with myself, I still don't fully understand why, but I hope someday, I will.
I smiled as Jack slowly released my hand and headed towards the hall way without looking back.
I wandered around the room for a few minutes until I heard the shower being turned on in the other room. I figured this was probably part of Jack's routine that Alex mentioned earlier to me. I made nothing of it and looked over some of Jack's sketches as I waited for him to return to his room.
As it turns out, it took him longer than I expected it to, because when I looked over at the clock, I realized that Jack's been in there for over thirty minutes, and not once making a sound. Not that I was worried or anything, but I decided to go check up on him and see what was taking him so long to get ready.
(Sonny's POV)
I stepped out of the shower and stood in front of the mirror, completely naked. The feeling of the rough towel on me felt like sandpaper so I only ever used it to dry myself off and then I would just walk around naked. Alex was use to this now, so when ever I went out into my bedroom, he would make certain to look at the pictures on the wall. Even the ones he has seen about a million times. I leaned my head forward a little bit to let some of the drops fall onto the counter before I ran my fingers through my hair to get it out of my face and smiled.
Grabbing the toothbrush and the toothpaste I finished getting ready so that I could have more time to spend with Will, plus I wanted to look special for him. I don't know when I will have the opportunity to see him here again so I wanted to make as many memories as possible. When I was finished brushing my teeth I picked up my deodorant, but accidentally, it slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor. I bent over and picked up it up so I could apply some deodorant before I pulled a comb through the tangled mess I call my hair.
After I had done everything I needed to have done, I walk out of the bathroom and look up to see Will standing at the entrance to the hallway. He quickly turned around toward me and his eyes slowly raised up, looking at my body. I smiled when I realized he was checking me out and I didn't understand the feelings I am experiencing, but I do know that I like that he is looking at me in this particular way. Make me feel kinda nervous and excited in some strange way.
What shocked me the most was when he smiled at me too but quickly that smile was replaced by a look of horror, "Fuck!, Jack! You need to cover yourself up, you can't...Shit!"
He quickly took off his sweater and handed it to me, "Here, put this around you."
I looked away from him, a little embarrassed and also confused. This was a normal thing that me and Alex did, but he never seemed to have a problem with it. But apparently, Will did because he was pacing in a circle, talking frantically, "Jack, you need to gets dressed. You can't be like this around me. It's not right for me to see you like this, buddy."
I must have done something wrong and I don't like when I do something wrong. So I turned away from him so that I wouldn't have to see his upset face. Here I go again and do something else that could make me lose him.
"Fuck", Will exclaimed, "Come on, Jack. Let's get you dressed and ready for dinner. I'm gonna go back down stairs while you get dressed."
I looked over in time to see him practically run out of my bedroom. The sadness crashed into me when I realized
that I have officially lost my best friend. My movements were slow as I went to get dressed so that I could go lay down on my bed and stay there for the rest of my life.
(Will's POV)
As I walked out of the room, I looked around the hallway to see if where Jack might be, when I noticed small crack in one of the doors which I presume was the bathroom. I slowly walked towards the room, not wanting to disrupt his routine by alerting him of my presence. I took a few stops closer towards room when I saw Jack's reflection in the mirror. I held myself back and pressed my back up against the wall as I watched him, closely...I gasped...
Jack's head was gently leaning forward when he quickly lifted his head and ran his finger through his thick wet dripping hair and looked at himself in the mirror. He smiled at himself briefly before he picked up his tooth-brush and started brushing his teeth. I tried looking away, because this kinda felt inappropriate to be watching Jack so closely while he was getting ready, but I just couldn't manage to tear my eyes away from him.
I knew this was wrong and way out of line to be looking at Jack this way, but...God! I can't believe I never realized this before today. He was handsome, that was obvious, with his thin yet muscular build, a shade of dark brown hair that nearly matched his sun kissed complexion, and his amber eyes...God those eyes were a startling contrast to his perfect skin tone, I couldn't help but just stand there and stare at him. I couldn't believe the person I was actually looking at was Jack...
Finally, a sharp noise erupted from the bathroom which caused me to snap out of this improper behavior, when I quickly realized what the fuck I was actually doing. I was flaunting over my friend, Jack. A boy who has autism. A boy
who for the first time, I saw as a normal person and "not" as a person who has autism. I saw him for what he truly was, a beautiful, amazing and incredibly sexy young man, sans clothing.
"What the fuck?", I whispered to myself and swallowed hard as I tried to understand what the hell was going through my mind at the time and why I tought that,"You need to get your shit together, Horton! You can't look at Jack this way or any other way for that matter. You need to get a fucking grip!", I whispered to myself again as I ran my own fingers through my hair and sighed, "Your not...You can't...This is Jack for God sake! Get a fucking grip!"
Suddenly, as I said those words out loud to myself, my body started to tremble violently without control. My breathing got heavier and my heart started beating rapidly inside my chest. As much as I tried to make sense of everything that's been happening inside that mess up head of mine, I couldn't. I started to panic when I realized that I wasn't able to obscure my emotions. Not only was a scared to death of feeling this way towards my new friend, I was also terrified of anyone ever finding out about it, because only God knows what this could mean for either of us, this is just not...I could lose Jack...Jack could lose me...Jack is the most important thing in my life right now and I can't do or say anything to jeopardize my relationships with him. He's the only thing that makes sense in my life right now. I can't...I wont lose him...Not now, not ever.
I took a few long, deep breaths and slowly I started regaining my composer. Without making a sound, I started walking towards Jack's room before someone noticed my internal meltdown and started asking questions. Questions that I wouldn't actually be able to answer, because I honestly, I have no answers, just...confusion.
Just as I was about to step inside his room, I hear a creek coming from the hallway. I quickly turned over and saw the bathroom door was now opened. I took another deep breath and slow lifted my eyes up and found myself staring directly in awe at Jack's hard, lean frame as he stood there naked before me. I tried to tear my gaze from the outline of his magnificent form, but it was no use, and his extremely handsome features shifted into a knowing grin as he caught me staring at him. His shining amber eyes caught mine and we both smiled at the same time.
The moment was short-lived when I realized that Jack was still standing in the hallway, naked by the way, with just standing there staring at him like an imbecile and that at any minute, someone could walk up and see us and get the wrong idea. The guilt started sinking in when I also realized if been staring at him for far longer than I should have been.
"Fuck! Jack! You need to cover yourself up. You can't...Shit!", I tried explaining to him that it was unsuitable for him to be standing like this in front of me, "Here, put this around you", I said as I took off my hoodie and offered him so he could cover himself up.
Jack looked away bashfully, not fully understanding that being exposed like this in front of me was wrong. I started pacing around in circles through the hallway as I tried to think of a way to explain this to Jack so he would understand, "Jack, you need to get dressed. You can't be like this around me. It's not right for me to see you like this, buddy."
Jack frowned and looked away me. His eyes said it all. He was hurt by what I just said to him.
"Fuck!", I said to myself as I watched him turn away from me like he did something wrong. Something bad...
"Come on, Jack. Lets get you dressed and ready for dinner. I'm gonna go back down stairs while you get dressed", I said to him and practically ran down the stairs. Not only running away from Jack and my obvious reaction to seeing him like this, I also running away from myself as memories from the past that I've kept hidden for years, had suddenly re surfaced without warning. I had to get out of there...
(Alex's POV)
"Where are you going in such a hurry? Where's Jack?", I asked Will as he practically ran right pass me and headed towards the front door.
"Jack's in his room getting dressed, and I'm going home!", he answered back without even looking at me.
"Hey, wait! Why are you leaving? We didn't even have dinner yet", I pointed out as I followed right behind him and grabbed his arm before he could leave, "Will, did Jack do something wrong?", I asked as I tried to understand the reason as to why Will was so hell-bent on leaving all of a sudden. One minutes he was happy to be here and the next, he couldn't wait to away from here fast enough.
"No!", he said bluntly, "Jack didn't do anything wrong. It's me..I mean...It's just...I gotta go. I'm sorry. Please say goodbye to Jack for me will ya?"
"Will, please", I begged for him to change his mind, "Don't do this to Jack. He needs you. Now more than ever. We all need you. I know it can be hard sometimes, but...It gets better."
"You don't need me, Alex. You were doing just fine without me before I came along and ruined your lives."
"Is that what you think? Honestly?", I asked him and waited for him to respond.
Will nodded his head.
We both just stood there for a moment looking at each other without saying a word when Will finally broke the silence, "I never meant for any of this to happen, Alex. All want is for Jack to be happy and I don't think that me being here is helping him. I'm no good for him. I shouldn't be here...", he said to me with a look of disappointment in his eyes.
"Will, you couldn't be more wrong. Jackson's never been happier in his whole life. You've sparked something inside of him that none of us ever could. Not even myself for that matter and I'm pretty damn amazing if I do say so myself. And beside, we want you here. All of us, so what ever it is that's bothering you, please. Make it go away. For Jack", I said to Will which caused him to crack a smile.
"Always the arrogant one, hun Alex?"
"You know it! Once a Kiriakis, always a Kiriakis!", I said jokingly and continued, "Will, I know somethings been bothering you since the moment we got here. Come, man. Talk to me", I offered as I nudged his shoulder slightly.
"I'm sorry, Alex. I can't. It's not that I don't want to, it's just..."
"It's just what? Not that simple?"
"Something like that", he answered in a barely audible whisper and looked away for a moment. I knew that what ever was bothering Will was something that he wasn't ready to open up about just yet. I could see by the look on Will's face that this somehow involved Jack. As much I wanted to know what happened between Jack and Will, I decided not to pry. I was willing to let it go for the time being so that both Jackson and Will would be happy. In due time, maybe this would also give me chance to get to know Will a little better so when the opportunity would present it's self again, that maybe, just maybe, Will would finally feel comfortable enough and open up to me. One could only hope.
"I get that. So, I'm gonna let this one go for now, but what ever is going on with you, you need to sort this out and talk about it. It's not healthy to keep things bottled up inside. And if you even want to talk, I'm here, man. Don't you ever forget that."
"Thanks, Alex. I really appreciate you saying that."
"Anytime, man", I said as I looked out the window and saw my dad's car pulling up the drive way, "So, you ready to meet me dad?", I asked Will with a smirk plastered on my face. Because I knew Will was nervous about meeting my dad.
"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess."
"Good, because he's home", I pointed out to Will as the front door opened and my dad stepped inside, "Hey dad, I would like you to meet someone. This is Will Horton."
"Well, it's nice to finally meet you, Will, I"ve heard wonderful things about you..."
(Will's POV)
"So, Will, Tell about yourself", Mr. Kiriakis asked as everyone gathered around the table for dinner. Everyone except for Jack. He didn't come down stairs since I left him there, alone. I tried to hide the fact that I beginning to worry about him and simply continued on with the conversation.
"Well, sir, to be honest, there isn't much to tell", I said to him and lowered my eyes down towards the table, "I'm not as great as you all think I am."
"I highly doubt that! From what I've heard from Alex, you're a remarkable young man. To be able to reach Jack when no one else ever could, to me that pretty incredible don't you think?"
"Yeah! Pretty fucking incredible to be staring at your autistic son like a sick son of a bitch!", I though to myself as the guilt continued to overwhelmed me.
"If you put it that way, I guess, but..."
"No but's. You're an angel sent from heaven, Will. And we're all truly grateful to have you in our lives", Mr. Kiriakis made clear and pursued the conversation, "So, tell me how it all happened? How did Jack approach you?", Mr. Kiriakis asked me and Alex quickly interrupted.
"Dad! Would you give him a chance to breathe! You haven't stopped questioning him since you got home", Alex pointed out and looked over at me, "I'm sorry, Will. Dad's kinda excited about Jackson's progress as much as we are."
"It's okay, Alex. Really, I don't mind telling him about it."
Mr. Kiriakis looked over at me apologetically, "I'm sorry Will, you dont have to...", he started saying, but I cut him off completely.
"I want to sir, but..."
(Sonny's POV)
Once I was fully dressed, I happened to see the drawing I helped Will to draw, the one of us holding hands. It was sticking out of my back pack and I pulled it out to look at it. I knew that looking at it would only make me feel worse, but I couldn't help it. I really wanted to just crumble it up and throw it away like I did with my friendship with Will, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I just sat on the edge of my bed and looked at it for a long time.
Now it's a while later and I am still looking at it. The feeling of wanting to revert back to the way I was before, it was safe and I didn't have to worry about getting hurt. I barely registered that someone was knocking on my bedroom door, but when I heard Will's voice I jerked back a little. I didn't want to deal with this now, "Jack, its Will. Can I come in?"
He didn't wait for me to answer, he just opened the door and walked in. I stayed in my spot, not moving because I knew that if I did I would run to him and silently beg him to forgive my mistake. A second passed before Will rushed forward, took the drawing from my hand and kneeled down in front of me, "Jack, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You gotta believe me."
I was sitting there deciding if I really did believe him because he could hurt me again, like he did tonight. All these feelings were all new to me and I wasn't use to them all, but they were there because of him, that much I knew and I didn't want to jeopardize that. I was starting to feel like everyone else, well not everyone else because I am my own separate person who thinks about the world in a different way, but I was starting to socialize with at least one other person besides my family.
My thoughts were interrupted when I felt Will's fingers hesitantly touch my face, "Please, Jack. Look at me" I could feel tears on my face and I wonder how long I was crying.
My eyes slowly came up to meet his because I couldn't help myself, "I messed up, Jack. I didn't mean to make you feel bad about...you know..."
He paused for a short time before continuing, "You did nothing wrong, buddy. I shouldn't have made you feel uncomfortable like that. I'm so sorry."
With Will's eye looking at me like that, pleading with me to understand, it was hard to say no, plus he genuinely seemed like he was sorry, so I nodded my head.
The feeling of having Will's thumbs on my face was really nice, especially since they wiped away my tears, "There. All gone."
When he did that I couldn't help but smile at him, "Much better. Come on, let's go down stairs and have dinner. Your dad's waiting for us."
He stood up off the floor and offered me his hand, I instantly took it and we walked down the stairs to dinner.
(Will's POV)
"... but Would you mind if I went up to check on Jack first? He's been up there a while and I just wanna make sure he's alright", I asked and waited for Mr. Kiriakis's approval so I could be excused from the table. Not only was I trying to find a way out of the interrogation for the time being, I also wanted to get away from the questions that were being thrown my way. The questions that I honestly had no answers to, and or course, I was also genuinely concerned about Jack and the way I left if up there earlier.
Mr. Kiriakis smiled at me and replied, "Of course, Will. Dinner should be ready and on the table in a few minutes."
"Great, I wont be long sir, Thanks", I said to him as I got up from the table and headed up stairs to find Jack.
Once I reached the top of the stairs, I suddenly stopped and waited for a few minutes as I tried to think of what I was gonna say to jack when I walked inside his room. I felt horrible for the way I reacted towards him early and I couldn't help but worry that Jack would somehow distance himself from me because of it.
I took a deep breath and took a few steps closer towards his door and knocked a few times before entering the room and alerted him of my presence, "Jack, it's Will. Can I come in?", I asked before and turned the door knob slowly and walked inside.
The site before my eyes was heartbreaking. Jack was sitting on the edge of his bed, now fully clothed, holding up the picture he drew of us both holding hands as the tears ran freely down each side of his face.
I rushed to him and without thinking, I pulled the drawing out of his hand and kneeled down before him, "Jack, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You gotta believe me", I said to him as he turned his eyes away from me in hurt.
I couldn't blame him for pulling away from me. The poor guy probably thought he did something wrong, when the only think he did was walked out of the bathroom with no clothing on. In a normal situation, this type of behavior would be acceptable. Some people might of actually thought this was funny. However, in this situation, this isn't the case. It was far from being funny. Jack made it very clear to me tonight that he actually is as innocent as he looks. I believe that he truly doesn't fully understand the laws of attraction and being exposed completely naked in front of a person like the way Jack was in front of me, is only done when people share intimacy together. I, however, am not as innocent and as wonderful as the Kiriakis family paints me out to be, because this time, I really messed up. I really messed up big time! I let my guard down for a second, and look at what happened. God! How could I let this happened again? This wasn't part of the plan. I've never felt more guilty, sick and disgusted with myself in my entire life for feeling this way about Jack.
Realizing that this isn't the time or the place to have this internal battle with myself, I decide to push my own personal feelings aside for time being, because this isn't about me anymore and focus on concentrating on what's really important here and that's Jack...
I reach my hand out slowly towards his face, not to scare Jack in the process, and lift his chin up and turned his face
towards me, "Please, Jack. Look at me", I said as his eyes slowly gave in to my demand, "I messed up, Jack. I didn't mean to make you feel bad about...you know...", I tried explaining again hoping this time he would finally understand, "You did nothing wrong, buddy. I shouldn't have made you feel uncomfortable like that. I'm so sorry."
Jack nodded only once.
With my thumb, I gently wiped the tears away from his eyes and smiles up at him, "There. All gone", I said to him as a smile started to form upon his beautiful face, "Much better. Come on, lets go down stairs and have dinner. Your dad's waiting for us", I pointed out as I got up of the floor and offered my hand over to Jack.
He accepted it without thinking twice and together, we headed down stairs.
(Alex's POV)
"Took you guys long enough! I was about to start eating without you two", I said to Will and Jack as the came down from stairs. Holding hands?
"Ouch!", I said as my dad pinched my arm and looked at me slightly annoyed.
"Manners young man!"
"Fine! I was just pointing out the obvious. I'm hungry!"
"You're always hungry, Alex", Will amusingly said as he pulled out a chair so Jack could sit next to him.
I watched their interaction closely as Will leaned down towards Jackson's ear and Whispered softly, "Here you go, Jack", and waited for my brother to sit down comfortably. As soon as they were both seated, Jackson turned over and looked at Will with stars in his eyes which confirmed my earlier suspicions that Jackson's indeed, has a crush on Will. I couldn't help but wonder if Will knew about it, because if was so freaking obvious. Will noticed Jackson staring at him and immediately returned the same look back at Jackson. If I didn't know any better, I would say that these two where into each other, like really into each other. They have this very weird connection that I still don't quite understand. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I even want to begin to understand it. Jackson seems to make Will feel at ease with himself. Oh yes! The school prick as become a softy because of my autistic brother. Who would have guessed that would have ever happened? Not me that's for sure. And as for Jackson, well...What eles can I say. He likes Will more that I ever imagined he would, so... I guess that's what is important. If Jackson is happy, then I'm happy. So. I decided to brush it off for the time being, because I knew I was gonna have to eventually have "the talk" with Jackson, God only knows how that's going to work out, and continued on with our previous conversation, "So, Will, weren't you going to tell my dad about how Jackson touched you?"
Will finally pulled his eyes away from Jackson and started telling my dad all about it, "Well, I was just getting our lunch ready like I did every day for the last few weeks when I went over and sat next to him to see why he wasn't joining me. One thing lead to another and Jack handed me over a sketch book. The first thing that came to mind was that Jack wanted to show me is drawings, and I was right. But then, he handed me over another sketch book and a pencil and just looked over at me and waited. I didn't catch on at first, but I finally figured out that he wanted me to draw with him. I told him that I couldn't draw and before I knew it, his hand was on mine and he was teaching me how. It all happened so fast", Will said and lifted his shoulders slightly and looked over at Jackson, "He's just amazing!"
Jackson blushed at the compliment from Will and everyone at the table smiled at the two boys.
"That he is, Will. That he definitely is", my dad said as he eyes filled with tears of happiness. When he noticed I was watching him, he cleared his throat briefly and stated, "Lets eat boys. Dig in!", and everyone one, including myself enjoyed our meal. And for the first time in a very long time, everyone was actually happy.
(Will's POV)
As the meal ended, I looked down at my watch and noticed it was getting pretty late and I had some home work I had to finish up before heading to bed. Alex had offered to help me with it, but I though it would probably be best to not over stay my welcome and to torture myself any further with my guilt. It wasn't fair to Jack though. He's the innocent victim in all of this. This was all on me. If anyone was to ever find out about my sudden feelings for Jack, well...I don't even wanna think about that for now. I guess I just need so time to myself so I can sort through this whole mess without anyone ever finding out as it.
As hard as it was to tell Jack I had to leave, I knew it was the right thing to do for now. Putting some distance between us is probably the best thing for the moment. I saw the way Alex was looking at us earlier, and it's only a matter of time before others people notices it as well and start asking more questions. So, maybe it would be best if I found some sort of distraction for now until all this blows over.
I lifted myself off the chair and picked up my plate from the table and placed on the counter as the family talked among themselves. I also wanted to thank Mr. Kiriakis for the lovely meal and for having me over, "I'm sorry interrupt, but it's getting late and I probably should be heading home to finish my homework."
"I told you I could help you out with that, Horton. You don't have to leave so soon", Alex said making a sad face as he finished up washing the dishes.
"I know, but I really should be heading home before my grand mother starts to worry about me", I explained and grabbed my jacket from the coat rack, "Thank you very much for having me over for dinner Mr. Kiriakis. It was a pleasure meeting you", I said and shook his hand firmly.
"Like wise. Don't be a stranger, now. You're more than welcome to stop by at anytime you like."
"Thank you sir. I appreciate that, very much", I said to the older Kiriakis and offered my thanks to the others, "Well, I guess I'll see you guys at school tomorrow", and waved over at Jack who was frowning. I knew he didn't want me to leave, but it was only for the best that I did. I simple walked out of the kitchen and headed towards the front door.
(Sonny's POV)
Dinner was ending and I was on cloud 9. I was sitting next to Will and shooting quick glance at him to watch all his facial features. But when I saw Will look down at his watch and then picked up his plate from the table to place it on the counter, I could feel myself slipping. When Will was done he came over to say goodbye to my dad, now I was definitely falling down from that wonderful cloud, "I'm sorry interrupt, but it's getting late and I probably should be heading home to finish my homework."
A roaring sound in my ears was blocking out the rest of the conversation and I didn't know what was going on. I didn't like that he was leaving because I was still a little unsure about what happened earlier even though Will apologized. This all was flooding by mind but I was suddenly brought back when I see Will walk out of the kitchen. I stayed in my seat for a short time, while tears started to come down, before I bolted up and ran out of the kitchen to catch up to Will. When I finally caught up to him he turned around and looked at me, worry in his eyes, "Jack, what's wrong, buddy?"
I just stood there looking at him, crying, "Hey...Stop that now. You hear me? You're gonna see me at school tomorrow, okay?"
Will extended his hands toward me but I wanted to do something else instead, but I was too scared so he just stood there with his hands out toward me. He looked sad after a while but tried to cover it up, "It's okay. You don't have to hold my hands, I just thought you wanted to. That's all."
"Okay it was now or never", I told myself as I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, giving him a hug. I laid my head against his chest and rested it there, so that I could hear his heart beat. I have never heard someone's heart beat this way before and it was soothing. After while Will's body relaxed and he wrapped his arms around my waist. It felt amazing to have his arms around me and I realized just how addicted I have become to touching Will.
We stayed like that for a while but it didn't last as Will kissed my head and pulled away slowly. He looked down at me while I looked up at him through my bangs but he apparently he didn't like that because he pulled them away from my face with his finger, "You know, Jack. You're going to have to do something about that messy hair of yours someday. You can't keep hidden those beautiful eyes away from me forever now."
I blushed as I nodded my head, I would do anything to make him happy. I walked him to the door with his hand in mine, "Will you be okay tonight?"
Will stepped down into the terrace, I nodded to him and squeezed his hand to let him know that I will be, "I'll see you at school tomorrow."
That was the last thing he said to me before he let go of my hand and walked to his car.
I stepped in the house and looked through the window next to the door and finished watching Will walk to his car with my hand on the window, not want to him really leave. At one point he looked over his shoulder at me before he turned back around and got into his car. The red tail lights of his car was the last thing I saw before I walked away from the window and ran up towards my bedroom.
(Will's POV)
Just as I was about to turn the door knob and step a foot outside, Jack came running after me from the kitchen.
"Jack, what's wrong, buddy?", I asked him as he stood there before me with tears running down his face, "Hey...Stop that now. You hear me? You're gonna see me at school tomorrow, okay?", I said to him as I reached out and offered him both of my hands so he could hold them. But he choose not to. That kinda threw me off guard for a moment, because Jack never pushed me away before, so I complied with him, "It's okay. You don't have to hold my hands, I just thought you wanted to. That's all."
Just as I was about to pull my hands away, Jack did something that not only surprised me, it also make me feel like I was floating on air. Jack took a step forward and wrapped his arms around my body in a warm embrace and pressed his head flat up against my chest. I immediately froze as I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do next.
I knew how much Jack was getting attached to me, but I honestly had no idea that it was this much. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around Jack and never let him go, but it was wrong in so many ways. He's gotten so far in so little time, that I was almost afraid that if I even moved, I might set him back in some way.
But after the inital shock of having Jack's arms wrapped around me passed, and as wrong as it was for me to even think about hold Jack like this after realizing the way I was beginning to feel about him, I knew that there was no way I couldn't possibly pass up on the opportunity to know who it would feel to have my arms wrapped around this perfect angel, this amazing human being who held all the answers to the world at the end of his finger tips, a simple touch...
As I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist, I knew that I had done the right thing, because I've never felt anything as wonderful as this in my entire life and thought to myself, "How could something so wrong, suddenly feel so right?"
I looked up quickly when I heard a noise and saw Justin leaning against the arch way with tears flowing from his eyes. He simple gave me a nod in approval and left us this moment together privately.
Finally after a few minutes of being wrapped into each others arms, I placed a kiss on top of Jack's head and slowly pulled away from him. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. I tried to look into Jack's eyes one last time before I left, I found them hidden behind his long messy hair that covered them perfectly. I lifted my hand up and brushed it away so I could see them, "You know, Jack. You're going to have to do something about that messy hair of yours someday. You can't keep hidden those beautiful eyes away from me forever now", I said to him as he blushed fiercely. His innocence was so transparent.
Jack nodded in agreement and walked me up to the door, never once letting go of my hand, "Will you be okay tonight?", I asked him as I opened the door and stepped out on the terrace.
He nodded twice and squeezed my hand gently. This was his way of tell me that everything was gonna be okay.
"I'll see you at school tomorrow", I said to him one last time before letting go of his hand at walking out.
As I walked along the pathway and headed towards my car, I look over and saw Jack who was now standing with his hand pressed up against the window looking at me as I walked away. I smiled inwardly and imagined, for the first time in my life, that someday, I could actually have all of this. The white picked fence, someone who's waiting for inside for me at home, someone who loves and cares for me just as much as I love and care for them...Someone as wonderful as Jack...
With that tought, I got inside my car a drove away. Feeling happy and content, even if it wasn't going to last. At least I would alway have this day to remember for the rest of my life.
(Alex's POV)
"Jackson? Where are you going?", I asked Jackson as I was walking out of the kitchen and saw him running up the stairs shortly after Will left looking upset. I started going after him to see what was wrong when my dad stopped me.
"Alex, leave him. I think he needs to be alone right now", my dad said insisting that Jackson was fine.
"But dad, somethings wrong with him. I need to make sure he's okay."
"He's fine, Alex. I think he's just a little overwhelmed at the moment."
"Overwhelmed? Did something happen while I was finishing up the dishes in the kitchen?", I asked and notice my dad's eyes where a little teary, "Dad? did something happened between Will and Jackson that you're not tell me?", I asked again and impatiently waited for my fathers explanation.
"A miracle, that's what happened, son", he said to me and took a deep breath and wiped the tears away from his eyes.
"I'm not following here...", I informed my dad and tilted my head sideways in confusion.
"Alex, Jackson hugged Will before Will left to go home."
"He what?", I basically screamed out and startled my dad.
"You heard me, Alex. Jackson hugged Will. It was...So beautiful"
"Oh my God! This is incredible! I've got to go find Jackson and tell him how proud of him I am", as I tried to leave, once again, my dad grabbed my shoulder and pulled me aside and stopped me.
"Alex, he needs time."
"Time for what?"
"To adjust to everything that's been happening in his life. This can be a lot for Jackson to take in all at once. The new friendship he's formed with Will, the new feelings he's experiencing towards...", my dad was saying and suddenly stopped.
"Towards Will?", I asked and surprisingly, my dad carried forward with saying directly. But luckily I was smart enough to read between the lines, and I knew exactly what my dad was talking about.
"This was a huge step for Jackson to put himself out there like this. He's become quite smitten with Will in a short amount of time, and if we push him too hard, we might cause him to have a set back. And that's the last thing I even want happening to Jackson."
"And Will? Do you think he feels the same way about Jackson? I mean, smitten as you put it", I asked my dad, but in the process, couldn't keep a straight face and giggled.
"Alex Kiriakis!", my dad addressed formally and smiled, "You know I can't answer that question. Only Will knows the answer to that, but what I do know is that young man is keeping something bottled up inside and what ever it is, it's tearing him apart. I could see that clearly when we were talking earlier."
"I know, dad. I saw that too", I admitted and suddenly I felt sad. Because I knew that deep down inside that something was bothering Will and somehow, Jackson was involved. What tormented me the most is that there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. For the first time in my life, I had no control over what was going to happen next, and the was the hardest part to accept in all of this. All I could really do now is pray to God that everything's gonna work out for the best in the end, and that Jackson wont be affected by it.
"But if it make you feel any better, from what I saw here tonight, Will cares deeply for Jackson. I saw it in his eyes when Jackson hugged him. As for the smitten part", my dad smiled and patted my back gently, "Only time will tell son..."
"Yeah...", I said and let out a deep sigh, "If I promise not to disturb Jackson, would it at least be alright if I go check up on him? I promise I'll be quiet! Please, dad?"
"Alright, but what ever you do, don't say anything to him. He needs to figure this one out on his own."
"I know, dad. I wont say anything. You've got my word", and with that, I left my dad's side and went up the stairs to check up on Jackson.
As I reached the top of the stairs, I noticed that Jackson's left a small crap opened in his bedroom door. So this is the perfect opportunity for me to check up on him while remaining un noticed. I took a step forwards and gently pushed the door open a little further so I could have a better view of what Jackson was doing. When my eyes focused in on my younger brother, I found myself lost for words. I expected find Jackson either reading a book or sketching away at his latest masterpiece. Because that's what Jackson does every night after dinner, but tonight, that wasn't the case. What I found tonight, was something I never expected in a million years.
Jackson laying on his bed with Will's hoodie wrapped around him with his eyes closed, looking so calm, so peaceful. I walked up closer to him and watched him as he laid there without a care in the world and whispered softly so I wouldn't wake him up, "Sweet dreams, Jack."
I smiled one last time at the site before me and quickly slipped out of his room without making a sound closing the door behind me as I left.
(Sonny's POV)
As I ran up the stairs to my room to hide, I saw Alex who was trying to stop me. I just ran faster so he wouldn't notice how upset I was that Will had to leave. I didn't wanna get in trouble for feeling that way because every time I got upset, they would all tell me to calm down and talk to me like being scared or being upset was wrong. I was tired of being told what to do and how to feel. But right now, I just wanted everyone to leave me alone. All I wanted was to have Will here so I would feel safe again. I knew I was going to see Will at school tomorrow. But tomorrow couldn't come fast enough for me.
I walked over to my bed and laid down. I usually draw before going to sleep or read. But tonight, I didn't feel like doing either one of those things. I felt a pit at the bottom of my stomach. This was something new that I never felt before. I didn't feel sick or anything. It was just something that felt different. I thought about Will and the way I felt safe when I wrapped up in his arms and that made me feel a bit better. I remembered that Will left his hoodie here a while ago when he covered me up with it, so I sat up and grabbed it from the edge of the bed and wrapped it tightly around me and realized the hoodie smelled just like Will. It made me feel like he was still holding me in his arms like he did before he left.
Suddenly, I felt safe again.
I laid back down on the bed and closed my eyes and thought about Will. Thinking about him made me feel happy.
And before I knew it, sleep found me and I started to drift away slowly...
To Be Continued...OXO