Faith the Vampire Slayer:
The Master
9. Some Assembly Required
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
"Roller skating?" the Slayer asked incredulously.
"We can go someplace else if you wanna," Xander blushed.
"No, it's cool," Faith said linking her arm with his. "Okay, not cool, cool, but you know. It sounds like fun."
"Two for the open skating and one rental," Xander paid the fourteen dollars as Faith let the guy know her size. "The food here is…food. It's palatable and doesn't contain rodent that I'm aware of, so that's a plus. The drinks are overpriced, but they can't tell if you brought your own or got them from the machine. So, I've got two waters."
"See it's the whole 'that I'm aware of' part that gets me. Either way, good looking out," Faith nodded. The rink was nearly empty, but a group of tweens was gathered in the arcade area. Xander took to the smooth rink floor like a duck to water while Faith stumbled around like a drunken swan. "How are you doing that?"
"They have wheels, you just gotta glide. You can't walk on skates," he explained. He circled around behind her and took hold of her hips. "First thing is standing. Put one heel in the arch of the other foot. Don't lock your knee. Good. See it's not so hard." he leaned his head on her shoulder, "Next big thing is moving. Toes out for forward, in for reverse and straight for both. The duck walk – knees bent, toes out, and baby steps – looks silly but is the easiest way to learn balance."
"You said you couldn't walk in skates," Faith pointed out.
"Yeah well, you can't just walk, it's a special walk." He swung gracefully out in front of her and demonstrated. "Now you," Xander held out his hand to her. The Slayer took a dozen tiny steps over to him. "And backward."
Faith stared at him blankly. "Backwards?"
Xander nodded. "Trust me, you can do it. Just take it slow, and don't let your feet get too far apart. Less than shoulder width at all times, okay?"
Faith nodded and took six steps back. "That is supremely unnerving," the Slayer decided.
"Now, stopping…" Xander moved in close to her.
"Learning to stop before I go?"
"You'll thank my later," Xander grinned. "I had to learn to stop the hard way." He tilted his head back and showed her a scar on his chin. "I biffed it into the wall at top speed."
"Ouch," Faith said before she leaned up and kissed the little pinkish blemish.
"So, you bend your knees – get used to me saying that, by the way – put your hands out to counter balance, shift your weight to one foot and put your other leg out behind you lightly dragging the toe stop. When you stop go back to the tee position, heel to arch," he demonstrated briefly. "That's a toe stop. A tee stop looks cooler, but it's a bit harder. Same setup but instead of dragging your toe you turn your back foot out and, keeping all four wheels down, drag the far wheels, never the front ones. You have to have control for this one or your back leg will swing around." Xander moved to stand beside her. "Now, bend your knees, shift your weight to one foot and slowly push off with the other."
Faith was immediately glad he had taught her to stop first. As soon as she was gliding she wobbled and put her leg out behind her.
"Keep your feet closer together," Xander suggested. "And hold your arms at about waist height." The pair set off again and the Slayer had much better luck. "Alright, we're coming up on a turn."
"Knees bent," Faith headed him off.
Xander smiled and gave her an appreciative nod. "Shift your weight to the inside leg, lining up your toes, knee, and nose. Push with your outside foot. Good. That's the basics!" He rolled out in front of her for the straight stretch. Suddenly the lights dimmed and music started playing. It would have been romantic if the song wasn't Funkytown by Pseudo Echo.
Xander started doing the Night at the Roxbury head bob. He added the John Travolta Point Move followed by an arm roll and a few chicken flaps. When Faith grinned at his antics, Xander threw in the sprinkler and the cabbage patch as well.
"Oh god, Xander, this is so you," She called over the music. At his curious look, she explained. "Dude. We're at a Disco Roller-rink. Even you gotta admit this is cheesy as hell."
"Cheesy good or, you know, Limburger?"
"Cheez Whiz, Xan. Ooey-gooey Cheez Whiz." She grinned happily. "And I love me some Cheez Whiz. Now quit being all Bee-Gees and show me something I can do besides stumble around like a wino."
"That's the great thing about disco: All of the iconic moves are upper body. This is where you live." he returned to the Roxbury bob. "Then you just hitchhike." He shook his thumb at his right shoulder four times, leaning back on the fourth, then repeated with the left. He followed this with a pair of short arm rolls punctuated with more thumbing. "Always alternate and repeat; everything is done on a count of eight. Throw in clapping and the Travolta where ever you like. Oh, and the bump is a good one too. Just hip tap with your partner every other beat." He demonstrated a light bump so she could see that it didn't mess with her balance on the skates. "When you're a little more confident I'll teach you more turns and we can add in the footwork."
Faith didn't stop smiling the entire time they were there. She especially loved that while disco was playing you could shout out a random 'woot, woot,' and that Xander knew the Macarena, words and all.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
The restaurant smelled amazing. Even the parking lot smelled of fire, sizzling meats, and spicy peppers. They had a traditional pit sunk down in the middle of the floor, fenced off for safety.
"Welcome to Barbacoa," the host greeted them with a smile. He was maybe college age, tattooed from neck to navel and had spacers in his ears. "Booth, table or pit side?" They decided on a booth. "Tonight's specials are the Beef Brisket, the Mutton sampler, and the Grilled Vegetarian platter. Every dinner comes with your choice of three sides. Can I get you drinks and starters, or do you need a moment?" He handed the pair menus and folded his hands in front of him, waiting for their reply.
"A Blackberry-Lavender Lemonade and a Peach-Pomegranate iced tea. The Doc's Sampler Platter, pork for the meat, with Smoky Ranch, Chipotle Cocktail Sauce, and Sweet Onion and Pineapple Barbecue sauce," Xander ordered for them confidently. As they took their seats he told her, "The sauces are a zero, a one and a three on the spicy scale."
"I like spicy food," Faith told him.
"This place has, like, two dozen sauces and dry rubs ranging from zeroes to five alarms," Xander told her.
"Twenty-six," the host interjected. "We just added a Mango Habanero Barbecue sauce. I can bring you a sample. Will that be it to start?" At their nods, he jotted down their order and told them, "Iris will be your server, George's on the grill and Harley's manning the pit. I'll be right back with your drinks."
"Sweet, thanks," Xander replied.
As they waited for their food Faith led Xander to the jukebox. "You can't dance when you're at the Bronze." She searched the songs and nodded, selecting something classic with a good beat. Don't Bring Me Down by Electric Light Orchestra belted out. "Okay," Faith said, turning toward him. "Do that Roxbury head bob." At his half-uttered 'what,' the Slayer explained, "This is where you live."
"Oh," he started bobbing, "the bounce."
"Now take your own advice and always alternate. Sway it side to side." As he began moving, she smiled and nodded. "Yeah, just like that. Keep your hands low, my waist, or from your waist to your shoulders; Alternate, repeat at an eight count. Don't ball your fists, keep it loose. That's it, that's all you do," Faith told him.
"That's it?" Xander asked dumbfounded.
Faith nodded and the pair danced until the song ended. "How you can have the rhythm of a stripper on skates, but not be able to dance without them is going to be forever beyond me," she said as they took their seats.
"I'm a man of many contradictions," Xander said, smiling. He pulled the end off of the paper on his straw and blew the remaining paper at her. Not paying attention, the projectile caught Faith in the lip. She quickly did the same to him, but he dodged to the side as it flew past his head. "Hah."
Their sampler platter arrived just as they both chuckled. The Slayer claimed half of the fried okra immediately, while Xander set his sights on the calamari.
Iris came over to take their order. Her silver hair was pulled up in a short bee-hive. She had on a purple blouse, large round eyeglasses, and dangly Kokopelli earrings. "What can I getcha, kids?" She asked in a soft southern accent.
After they ordered, Faith grabbed what looked like a chimichanga. "What's in this?" Faith asked after taking a bite and setting it back down. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
"The Redneck Egg Rolls? Pulled pork, coleslaw, and Monterey Jack cheese," he explained. "They're best with the ranch."
Faith did not care for the warm coleslaw. She did like the stuffed jalapeños with bacon, the seafood stuffed mushrooms, and pork rib tips.
"So," Xander began after their food arrived. He'd gone with the traditional Mexican barbacoa – slow smoked beef cheek tacos with diced onions, chopped cilantro, and a squeeze of lime juice served with guacamole and salsa. "Read any good books lately?"
"That is a terrible topic. But yes, I just finished Vamypre last night," the Slayer smiled. "Wanna borrow it?" Faith bit into a hot sticky beef rib. The sauce was thick and spicy with a hint of molasses. She was glad it came with complimentary wet naps.
"I guess I should read it," the boy frowned, "but couldn't you just give me the cliff notes version?"
She shook her head and finished chewing. "You've already got it. It's the details that make the book informative," the Slayer specified. She stole a bite of his curried succotash and moaned, "God, that's good."
"Try this," Xander offered her a fork full of the tangy apple slaw. "I always get at least one side I haven't tried before. They rotate them seasonally."
"Mmm. I should've been more adventurous," she lamented poking her collard greens and cornbread.
"Nah, it's your first time. You gotta make sure they can do the basics," he scooped a bite off her plate. "Besides, the potato salad here is the best."
"What is that, I don't know, zing to it?"
"Sea salt, black pepper, Dijon mustard, and pickled red onion," Xander explained, "Diced red pepper for garnish." Xander took a bite of the five cheese macaroni casserole that the menu lovingly referred to as Mac'n'Cheese. "Mmm. Love this," he offered her a bite of the gooey, creamy pasta.
"All the yes. I want it to have my babies," the Slayer moaned.
Xander laughed, "I know, right?" The pair ate in relative silence for a while, stealing the occasional bite from the other's plate. "Movies and TV make this whole conversation thing look easy."
"That's 'cuz the characters don't have to think about what to talk about. It's all either plot relevant or character development. You know important, weighty stuff. They never just shoot the breeze without something happening," Faith enlightened him. "If they have an awkward silence or lame topic, that's the point of the scene. Either they're socially awkward or the pair has nothing in common. If they woulda had one but didn't, the scene ended or plot happened at a convenient time."
"That is so true," he agreed.
When they had finished their meal Iris came over and asked them, "Can I getcha sump'n for dessert, or do y'all want the damages?"
"The damage, definitely," Xander groaned. "I could not eat another bite."
Faith nodded her agreement.
As they left Faith asked, "Would you mind joining me for a quick patrol of the waterfront, before walking me home? I rarely get out here."
"I would love to take a romantic stroll along the pier with you," Xander wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they headed off.
The ocean stretched out, vast and black before them. In the distance, stars dotted the sky. The waves lapped gently at the pier. As it was still mid-April there was a light chill in the air. The pair of teens walked down the beach to the marina in a comfortable silence.
It was an altogether new sensation for Xander, who spent much of his energy filling all kinds of silence. For once, he was content to enjoy just being with someone without feeling the need to impress or entertain them. He didn't need to lighten the mood or deflect attention. The mood was calm but happy, and Faith's attention was equally on him and their surroundings.
Even cutting through the warehouse district on the way to her house was pleasant. Some of the older buildings had neat architectural features. Interspersed with the corrugated metal warehouses were old brick ones with faded ads painted on the sides.
There was a new coffee shop, Kingman's Cup, half a block from the reclaimed industrial lofts that was giving out free samples of their specialty blends. Faith tried a light roast called Sunvalley Morning that 'has a complex acidity and highlights the original characteristics of the beans.' Xander opted for a smooth dark roast, Midnight Sun, 'with a bitter chocolate undertone'. Neither of the teens could really taste much difference, except that Faith's tasted a bit like grass and Xander's was clearly burnt and tasted nothing like chocolate.
The pair arrived at Faith's doorstep a little later than planned. "I had a great time," she smiled turning to him.
"Yeah, me too," he replied a light blush creeping across his cheeks. "Kinda surprised we didn't run into any vampires."
"I'm glad we didn't," the Slayer leaned toward him. She let out a shaky breath and said, "A romantic stroll was so much better than a quick patrol."
"Yeah, it was." Xander leaned in for the kiss.
Their lips connected; just the barest touch before a momentary parting. Faith gripped the collar of Xander's shirt and brought their lips together again. When he wrapped his hands around her waist the Slayer's eyes fell closed and her lips parted. The pair leaned back against the door. Faith's arms came up around his neck, her fingers twining in his hair. Xander kissed her harder, his fingers biting into her hip. She made a strangled sound and he pulled back.
"Sorry, I," he stammered.
"No, it's okay," she pulled him close again. Before they could resume the kiss the door opened behind her. Faith stumbled slightly, but Xander kept her from falling.
"I'm not interrupting anything?" Giles asked, the arch of his eyebrows clearly indicating that he knew full well he was.
"Um," Xander said articulately. "No?"
"Good," the Watcher smiled. He looked down at Faith, "Did you have a good date?"
The girl nodded mutely.
"Good," Giles stepped aside to let her in. "Would you like a ride home, Xander? It's terribly late."
"Ah," Xander considered his options carefully. "Sure, Giles," He decided it was better to let the librarian vent any anger towards him now rather than wait until they were sparring. "Goodnight, Faith."
"Goodnight, Xan," she smiled at him from behind her Watcher.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Half way to his house in the relative silence of the Citroen Xander cracked. "You don't seem mad at me," the boy said.
"I'm not," Giles confirmed. "You are an honest and caring young man and Faith is a lovely young woman, and you both have relatively good heads on your shoulders. I don't feel I need to say any more than the pair of you already know. You've both watched far more television than I have and know what to do and what not to do." He flicked his eyes to the boy. "You don't need to hear it from me." At Xander's relieved breath, he continued on, "However." He turned to the teen as the car hit a stoplight, "She has a destiny. You're aware of that just as much as I am. You may be an inspiration a, a calming influence on her. But I will not, I repeat will not allow you to become a distraction. Not just for her sake, but for yours as well, am I understood?" Xander nodded eagerly. The light turned green. "Good," Giles said, pulling off.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Faith heaved a dramatic sigh as she sat on a tall gravestone waiting for the occupant. "C'mon, Stephan, rise and shine. Some of us have a ton of homework waiting."
When a hand touched her shoulder and there came a soft-spoken, "Hey," Faith flipped her assailant over onto the grave.
"Gah! Angel!" she gasped.
"Is this a bad time?" the vampire groaned.
"Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard." The Slayer pulled a stake from her jacket and waved it at him, "That is how you get dusted. You wanna be a check mark in the slain column, buster? Make noise when you walk, stomp or yodel or something. Christ, man."
"Sorry, I'll be sure to yodel next time," Angel stood and brushed grass off his pants. "I heard you were on the hunt."
"Just waiting for lazy bones here to claw his way out." She sighed again.
"When you first wake up it's a little disorienting. He'll show," Angel assured her.
"It's weird to think of you going through that." Faith scrunched her nose.
"It's weird to go through. So, uh, you're here alone?" he asked.
"Yeah, just me tonight. Why?" a bit of suspicion slipped into her voice.
"I just thought you'd have somebody with you," the vampire shrugged, "Xander or someone."
"Nah, Giles had some training exercise for him. Xan's really coming along," she smiled and swung her legs, her heels bouncing off the headstone. "So is this a social call?"
"There's nothing huge brewing that I'm aware of if that's what you mean."
"It is," Faith nodded. She stood when a hand punched through the earth. "Finally," she gave an exasperated sigh and gripping his wrist pulled the newly risen demon free. "Alright, sleepy head, let's do this," Faith shoved the vampire away from her and adopted a fighting stance. Stephan came at her with a few wild punches. Faith swatted them aside. "Come on!" she growled loosening a salvo of her own to his ribs. He stumbled back into a large gravestone.
Stephan looked around frantically. "Dude, help me, she's kicking my ass!" he called to Angel.
Angel nodded, "Yeah, she is."
The new vampire grabbed the shovel that was left leaning against the headstone. Faith stalked in, keeping her fists up. Stephan swung the shovel at her in a high arch. The Slayer caught the wooden haft of the makeshift weapon. A hard strike with the heel of her other hand broke it in two. Before she could stake him with it, though, the vampire fell backward into an open grave.
Faith laughed, "You okay?"
Stephan groaned, "Yeah. Who leaves an empty coffin lying around?"
After watching him struggle to climb out of the grave for a few moments Angel asked, "Are you going to finish him or keep messing around?" The older vampire hauled the newbie up by the scruff of his neck and pushed him at the Slayer.
"Yeah, yeah," Faith rammed the shovel handle into Stephan's heart. "Everybody's a critic."
"Looks like you have another one to go after anyway," Angel said as the ashes settled.
"I don't think so," Faith bent down to examine the grass around the grave. "See these tracks? Whoever was buried here didn't rise on their own." She spotted a girl's shoe nearby. "She was dragged. So, probably still dead."
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Giles was sitting at the study table in the library when Faith and Xander walked in. He addressed the empty seat across from him, "W-what I'm proposing is, um... and I-I don't mean to appear indecorous, is, is, um, a-a social engagement, um, a-a date, if you're amenable." The Watcher frowned deeply. "You idiot!"
"Wow," Faith smirked when Giles flinched and turned toward them. "I never realized how much you like that chair."
"I-I-I was just working on..." He stammered before knocking over a pile of books.
"Your pickup lines?" Xander supplied.
"Um, in a manner of speaking, yes," the librarian blushed as he gathered the tomes.
"Then keep it simple," the Slayer offered. "Would you like to grab a coffee? A bite to eat? You doing anything this weekend? Wanna see a move? Go dancing? Any one of these will do."
"Start with coffee," Xander suggested. "Ms. Calendar always has a tall cup of the brew in class, and it's a fairly casual, low commitment offer."
"W-what makes you think that, that…"
Xander sat in the empty chair, "Simple deduction: Ms. Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that you're a school librarian, so you don't have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her."
"And she's the only woman we've actually ever seen speak to you," Faith added.
Giles changed the subject, "So, um, how did things go last night? Did Stephan Korshak show up on schedule?"
"Took his sweet time, actually; but Angel and I took care of him," she nodded.
Xander raised his eyebrows and asked, "Angel?"
"Well, he mostly just stood around looking like Philip Oakey without the eyeliner," Faith sat on the edge of the table.
"Did he keep feeling fascination?" the boy grinned.
"Until the sun went down," she returned.
"I'm not sure if I should be annoyed by your constant antics or impressed that the two of you even know who the Human League are," the Watcher rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Let alone any of their lyrics."
"Eighties are making a comeback, Tweed," Faith offered.
"Soon, I'll be able to break out the half-tank and headband," Xander said, wringing his hands eagerly. "Only a matter of time."
"I'm pretty sure that is never going to be cool again," Faith said to him.
"It will at the Roller Rink," Xander said, his grin never leaving.
"True," Faith conceded. "We did find an empty grave."
"Another vampire?"
"Nope. The grave was all dug up, there was even a shovel. Coffin was opened up, not busted out. Nobody home, though."
Giles ignored the pun. He sat back down, "Grave robbing? That's new. Interesting."
The Xander nodded, "Why does someone want to dig up graves?"
"Well, I'll, uh, collect some theories." Giles began clearing the books from the table. "Uh, it would help if we knew who the body belonged to."
"Meredith Todd," she told him. "Died recently, she was sixteen."
"Drawin' a blank," Xander frowned.
"I'll get Red to look her up," Faith patted his knee.
"I can do a basic search on the computer," Xander stood. "It's not rocket science. For that, you really would need Willow. Ira let us built model rockets in the fourth grade. Hers worked like a charm; parachute brought it safely back to earth and everything. Mine did a Challenger on the launch pad."
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Willow was writing her entry for the science fair when a boy in a Hawaiian shirt came up to her, "Smile!" his camera flashed in her face.
"Hey!" Willow glared at him as he turned away.
"Oh, look at those legs!" the boy groaned. He went chasing after a leggy blonde.
"Perv," the redhead griped.
"Eric, will you knock it off?" a tall boy in a green plaid polo shirt yelled at him. Eric looked back at him clearly upset to have his fun spoiled.
"Hey, Chris!" Willow greeted smiling.
"Hey," the tall boy grabbed a clipboard and began filling out and entry for the science fair.
Willow leaned in to read over his shoulder. When he glanced up at her she blushed and backed off. "Oh, I, I was just wondering what you were gonna do this year," she stammered.
"Why?"
"'Cause every year you win and I place second, so I just thought I'd see what I'm up against," the redhead explained.
"You know what the key is?" Chris asked her. "If Dr. Clark doesn't understand your experiment he gives you higher marks so it looks like he understands your experiment," paused to read her entry. "The Effects of Sub-Violet Light Spectrum Deprivation on the Development of Fruit Flies; that should do the trick."
Cordelia stormed up and took the clipboard out of Chris's hands. She scrawled a brief entry down and stated, "I'm doing this under protest. It is not fair that they're making participation in this year's science fair mandatory. I don't think anyone should have to do anything educational in school if they don't want to."
"The Tomato: Fruit or Vegetable?" Willow read over her shoulder.
"I wanted to do something I could finish in a weekend, alright?" the cheerleader defended her choice. Eric's camera flashed as he snapped a shot of her. "Stop it!" Cordelia snapped. "What are you doing?" Eric's camera flashed again. "We are under florescent light, for God's sake."
"The camera loves you!" Eric crooned.
"I want full veto on all my yearbook candids," she stamped her foot to punctuate the statement.
Eric snapped another picture, "It's for my private collection."
Chris snapped, "Eric! Will you quit it?"
Amy, who had wandered up to the sign-up table during the commotion, grabbed Eric's wrist, "Who all are you taking pictures of?"
"All the pretty girls," he angled around to snap a shot of Amy's face.
"Make sure they sign a consent form. Taking pictures of girls without their permission constitutes sexual harassment. Anyone reports you, you could get suspended or expelled." Amy pulled him closer, "If any of your photos wind up on the net, that's jail time; dissemination of child pornography. You go on the sex offender registry and that follows you for the rest of your life. Gets stapled to every job application you fill out. Your whole life is ruined because one stupid mistake you made at sixteen."
"Come on," he jerked his arm away, "It's not that serious, it's just a little fun."
"Five, ten years ago, sure. Now? Nuh-uh. Wicked serious. Cordy said stop. You didn't. That's harassment right there," Amy stated. "I know you think you're just messing around and you don't mean any harm, but that's not what you're doing. You're making the girls uncomfortable. Ask before you take the picture. You wouldn't treat the guys this way. They'd just deck you for being obnoxious; which you are."
"Sorry," he said glumly.
"Just ask first, okay?" she gave him a brief smile and grabbed a clipboard to fill out her science fair entry. "Wills, are you headed to the library?"
"Yeah," the redhead responded. "See you later, Chris. Thanks for the tip."
"Later," Chris nodded to her.
Cordelia watched the pair trot off to the library.
Eric raised his eyebrows at her, "So…" he flicked his eyes to his camera and back to her.
The cheerleader snorted in disgust and stormed off.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Xander was sitting in front of the PC when Amy and Willow arrived. He read the memorial page on facebook aloud. "Meredith Todd died in a car accident last week, with two other girls. They were on the Fondren High Pep Squad, on the way to a game."
"You know what this means?" Faith asked.
"That Fondren might actually beat Sunnydale in the cross-town body count competition this year?" the dark-haired boy quipped.
"She wasn't killed by vampires," the Slayer said. "Somebody did dig up her corpse."
"Eww!" Cordelia scrunched her nose as she walked in. "Why is it that every time I come in to talk to you people you're having a conversation with the word 'corpse' in it?"
"Sorry, Queen C," Faith shrugged. "We should use a code word."
"Anyway, sorry to interrupt your little detective playgroup, but I need to ask Willow if she'll help me with my science fair project," the cheerleader explained her presence in the library.
"It's a fruit," Willow said distractedly as she read over Xander's shoulder. "Scoot over," she told the boy. "I can get the details from coroner's office. I wanna make sure it was the crash that, you know."
Cordelia sighed, "I would've asked Chris to help me, but then that would've brought back too many memories of Daryl."
"Here we go!" the hacker chipped in success.
"Of course I have learned to deal with my pain," the cheerleader continued.
"Official cause?" Faith asked.
"Broken neck," Willow returned.
"Actual cause?" Amy asked.
"Broken neck," Willow repeated.
"Hello! Can we deal with my pain, please?" Cordelia whined.
Giles came out of his office, "There, there." He patted the girl on the shoulder awkwardly and continued up into the stacks, not breaking stride.
"Okay, so we got a body snatcher. What does that mean?" Xander asked.
"Uh, I really don't think we should be having this, um, this conversation in front of -ah- Miss Chase," Giles gave the boy a stern look.
"No, you shouldn't," Cordelia agreed. "But if you mean 'cuz of vampires and junk, I already know about them."
"H-how?" the Watcher asked.
"So much duh," the cheerleader rolled her eyes. "I spend a lot of time checking my reflection. Maintaining this quality of appearance takes a lot of work, you know. So, I've noticed some people don't have reflections. Freaked me out at first, I thought I was going crazy. That and people whose funerals I attended showing up at the Bronze."
"Okay, Cor, conversation later. I'm gonna need names," the Slayer told her. Faith turned to the librarian, "Giles, theories on our body snatcher?"
"Demons who eat the flesh of the dead to absorb their souls, or it could, obviously, be a, a voodoo practitioner," the Watcher informed them.
"You mean making a zombie?" Willow asked looking a bit green.
"Uh, zombies, more likely. For most traditional purposes a voodoo priest would require more than one," he explained.
"So, we should see if the other girls from the accident are AWOL, too," Faith grinned. "We can figure out what this creep has in mind if we know whether or not he's dealing in volume."
"So, grave robbing tonight?" Xander joked.
"Oh, boy! A field trip," Willow bounced in her seat.
"To a cemetery," Amy groaned, "Last time was so boring."
"We did break up that séance," Giles reminded her.
"It was three Goths with an Ouija board. It hardly counts," she shot back. She grinned suddenly, "We should get Angel to help!"
"Is he involved in your weirdness?" Cordelia asked.
"Kinda," Faith admitted. "He deals with a lot of vampire stuff."
"Can you give me his number?" the cheerleader asked.
"No, I don't actually have it, come to think of it," the Slayer gave a half shrug.
"No Angel then. So, we're all set. Say, nineish? BYO shovel?" Xander grinned.
Amy pouted until Willow piped up with, "And I'll pack some food. Who else likes those little, powdered donuts?"
"Me!" Amy and Xander cheered in unison.
"Cordelia?" the hacker asked.
"Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight," she gave a dramatic sigh. "Boy, I wish I knew you were gonna be digging up dead people –and without the hunky Van Helsing type, to boot – sooner or I would've canceled."
"Now you're just abusing sarcasm," Amy smirked.
"Alright, but if you come across the army of zombies, can you text us before they eat your flesh?" Xander asked her.
Cordelia huffed. "So, Willow, will you help me?"
"Uh, it's a fruit, I don't know what else you need," the redhead looked up from the computer.
"I know that. I just need some science-y books on it, and maybe some stuff about why it's treated like a vegetable."
"Oh, okay," Willow opened the electronic card catalog, "Ooh, there's a Supreme Court case from 1893 that rules it a vegetable! Neat-o."
"Zucchini is a fruit, too," Amy told the cheerleader.
As they retreated into the stacks Giles leaned over to Xander, "Zombies don't eat the flesh of the living."
"Yeah, I know that," the teen grinned. "But did you see the look on her face?"
"Hey, Xan?" Faith asked as she closed the glass door that separated the stacks from the front. "Who's Daryl? Cordelia seemed almost genuine in her melodramatic pain."
"Daryl Epps. Chris' older brother. He was a big football star. All-State last year. He was a running back. All of the girls were crazy for him."
"And he broke Queen C's heart?" the Slayer asked, adding sarcastically, "Thus possibly proving its existence."
"Big time," Xander nodded. "He died in a fall. Rock climbing or something?" the teen sighed. "His family took it real hard. Ever since then Chris has been quiet; kinda in his own world. Their mother doesn't even leave the house." He shook his head sadly before returning to his task.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
The three girls sat leaning against a wide headstone as Giles and Xander dug up a grave. Faith munched on a bag of mini donuts while Amy taught Willow how to conjure a tiny light.
"Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too," Xander griped.
"Here, here," Giles agreed stretching his back.
"There's only room in there for two," Faith pointed out. "Besides, your turn's almost up."
The boys returned to their digging. Finally, the soft sounds of dirt and rock scrapping against metal gave way to a wooden thud. "I think we're there," Giles announced.
The girls stood and moved over to peer into the grave. Willow asked, "By the way, are we hoping to find a body, or no body?"
"Call me an optimist, but I'm hoping to find a fortune in gold doubloons," Xander grinned at her.
"Um, a body would mean flesh-eating demon, no body would point towards the, uh, army of zombies thing," Giles shrugged at her. "Take your pick, really. Right, then, uh..." he trailed off gesturing at Xander to open the casket.
"You're closer," the teen shot back.
"Move," Faith hopped into the grave. She opened the casket, "Well, that settles that."
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Cordelia Chase sauntered out of the high school and into the parking lot towards her cerulean blue 2010 Toyota MR2. It wasn't the greatest car ever, but it was hers and it was reliable. And she was the first girl in her class to get a car. Cordelia only had her learner's permit and wasn't supposed to drive unsupervised, but her parents had let her drive to school today so they could have a date night. She couldn't help but smile as she approached it, discussing the other cheerleaders' performance at practice. "If we don't get this down by tomorrow, no one's gonna be led by our cheers."
"I know," the captain, Joy, said with a sigh as she and Amber peeled off to ride home with Amber's mom. "See ya later."
The parking lot was deserted, and after the other car left, a little creepy. The wind rattled the chain link fence. Cordelia glanced around nervously. She felt like she was being watched. "Hello?" the cheerleader called into the darkness. She dug in her backpack for her keys as she began to trot to her car. "If this is some kind of joke…" she trailed off into nervous laughter as she fumbled with her keys.
The keys slipped out of her hand and bounced underneath her car. Even realizing what a horror movie cliché it was, Cordelia dropped down beside the car and reached under it for her keys. On the other side, she spotted a pair of black men's dress shoes approaching.
Cordelia abandoned her keys and darted around the corner of the school. The cheerleader looked around frantically but there were no doors on this side of the building. There were, however, two dumpsters. Wrinkling her nose, Cordelia lifted the lid of one and levered herself inside. The smell nearly made her vomit. It was a combination of rotting meat, an oily fishy smell, and that mixed garbage funk.
She held her breath and listened; the soft tap of footsteps passed by her hiding spot. Cordelia waited another minute before lifting the dumpster lid just enough to peer out. Seeing nothing she opened it further and looked around. Satisfied that whoever it was, was gone she turned and leaned the lid against the wall. Turning back to hop out Cordelia let out a startled yelp and fell backward in the dumpster.
"Cordelia," Angel smirked. "This is the last place I expected you to hang out."
Blushing, the cheerleader stood back up. With her hand to her chest, she breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, God! God, it's you." After a pause, she asked, "Why were you following me?"
"I wasn't sure it was you at first. I'm looking for Faith," He answered.
"Faith? Well, she's, uh... big shock, she's at a graveyard. I don't know which one," Cordelia gave a dismissive shrug. "You are in luck, however. It just so happens that my night is free." She offered him her hand and took a step, "Ugh, hold on, my skirt is caught." The cheerleader reached behind her and pulled her skirt free. "There," she brought her hand forward holding up what had caught her. At the sight of the severed hand, Cordelia let out a shriek and dropped it.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
"So, both coffins are empty. That makes three girls signed up for the army of zombies," Xander exposited as the group entered the library.
"Is it an army if you just have three?" Willow asked.
"Zombie pep squad, then," Amy shrugged.
Angel stood up from the study table, Cordelia clinging to his arm. "You're back," He smiled at Faith. "I was worried you'd head home after your grave robbing."
"Angel," the Slayer nodded at him.
Xander shot the undead man a brief glare.
"Xander," the other offered.
"Angel," the boy returned somewhat coldly.
"As long as you're here," Giles interrupted the exchange, "perhaps you could be of some help. Hmm?" he turned to Xander, "Hmm?"
"Somebody's been digging up the bodies of dead girls," the boy informed the vampire.
"I know," Angel said somberly. "We found some of them."
"You mean, like, two of the three?" Amy asked.
"I mean, like, some of them. Like parts," he explained.
Cordelia finally spoke, rambling in near hysteria, "It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm. God, there were so many parts, they were everywhere. Why are these terrible things happening to me?"
"Karma?" Xander asked.
The cheerleader glared at him.
"So much for our zombie theory," Willow sighed and headed to the computer.
"So much for all our theories," Giles began toward the stacks.
"I don't get it," the Slayer pondered. "Why go to all the trouble to dig up three girls only to chop them up and throw them away? It doesn't make any sense."
"Especially from a time management standpoint," Amy added.
"Well," Angel offered, "what I saw didn't add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts."
"Could this get yuckier?" the witch asked.
"They probably kept the other parts to eat," Willow said from the computer.
"Ask a stupid question…" Amy groused.
"Why dispose of the remains five miles from the cemetery at a school, of all places?" Giles asked from the top of the stairs.
"Maybe whoever did it had some business in the neighborhood," Xander answered. "Like, say, classes?"
"This was no hatchet job," Angel countered. "Whoever made those incisions really knew what they were doing."
Giles nodded, "Yes, really. What student here is gonna be that well versed in physiology?"
"Well," Willow shot back, "I can think of five or six guys in the science club. And me."
"So, Will, come clean. Promise to never do it again and we'll call it a night," Xander joked. When no one responded he said, "Note to self: accusing Willow of horrific crimes is no longer funny. Switch to Amy."
Amy elbowed him.
"Willow, why don't you get these guys' locker numbers so we can do some checking?" Faith asked. She turned to Giles, "You get with Angel on a list of parts missing. See if that narrows it down."
"No," Cordelia whined. "I have to go home now. I have to take a bath and burn my clothes."
"You have to go? Aw, too bad," Xander said in mock disappointment. "Keep in touch. Buh-bye."
"I don't wanna go alone. I'm still fragile," she said shakily. She turned to Angel, "Can you take me?"
Faith glanced at Angel who stood like a deer caught in headlights. "After he talks with Giles. Besides, you should shower and change before you get in your car. You smell like death and a dock fire."
"Ew," the cheerleader scrunched her nose.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
"You understand, in my capacity as a school official, this search is completely unauthorized, and I, I cannot condone this," Giles said taking a number and combination from Faith.
"Duly noted," the Slayer waved at the wet haired Cordelia as she left, once again attached to Angel's arm.
"I'll bring these back tomorrow," she indicated the borrowed sweat pants and tee shirt.
"Cool," Faith nodded and turned to the locker in front of her.
"Okay, Eric. Let's see what's on your annoying little mind," Amy skipped the combo and opened the locker with a spell.
Giles gave her a disapproving look, "Magic isn't a toy."
She stuck her tongue out at him.
His frown deepened, "You're setting a bad example for Willow."
Amy glared at him for a moment then said, "Yeah, okay. I'll keep that in mind."
"Nothing in here but back issues of Scientific American," the hacker in question called from a few lockers down. "Ooh, I haven't read this one!" she began reading; the group allowed the distraction.
"Nothing remarkable here, either," Giles closed the locker.
"Guys!" Xander called them over. He rattled off the titles of the books, "Grey's Anatomy, Mortician's Desk Reference, Robicheaux's Guide to Muscles and Tendons. And this," he handed Giles a newspaper clipping about the three dead cheerleaders.
"This is Chris Epps' locker," Willow gasped.
"I think it's fair to say he's involved," Giles grimaced.
"He's into corpses alright, but we still don't know why." Xander returned the clipping and shut the locker.
"Yes, we do," Amy led them over to Eric's locker. On the door was a collage of a woman made from parts of various pictures.
"Why would anybody wanna make a girl?" Willow murmured.
"You mean when there are so many pre-made ones just lying around? The things we do for love," Xander quipped.
"Love has nothing to do with this," Amy growled.
"Maybe not, but I'll tell you this: people don't usually fall in love with what's right in front of them," Xander explained. "People want the dream, what they can't have; the more unattainable, the more attractive."
"And for Eric, the unattainable would include everyone. That's alive," Amy stated. "He's sick enough to do something like this, but what about Chris? I always thought he seems like a human person."
"That thing with his brother was really hard on him," Xander said.
"And he talked about death a lot. Maybe he just wanted to get one-up on it," Willow added.
"But it's not doable," Faith said. "I mean, making someone from scraps, actually making them live. Right?"
"If it is, my science project's definitely coming in second this year," Willow tried to lighten the mood.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
The next morning, Giles was loitering near the computer lab waiting for Ms. Calendar to arrive while Faith and the others were scouring the halls for Chris and Eric. Ms. Calendar finally showed up, with a tall cup of coffee from the Espresso Pump in hand. She stopped to talk to a student on her way. Giles began to fidget with his glasses.
"Good morning, Rupert," the computer teacher said as she strolled past him.
"Uh, Ms. Calendar?" he called after her.
She looked back at him, but kept walking, "Oh, no, please call me Jenny. Ms. Calendar's my father."
Giles started after her, "Jenny, then." He tried again, "You know, uh, Jenny, um..." but trailed off.
"Hmm?" she asked sipping her coffee.
"Would it a-appear indecorous..." He stuttered. "Uh, no, not in-in-indecorous, um..."
"Yeah?" Ms. Calendar pressed.
Giles exhaled. "Well, um... would you care to get a coffee sometime?"
"Sure," she smiled up at him. "We could try that new place on Birch Avenue - Kingman's Cup – after the game."
"Game? Oh, uh, you're going to the football game?" Giles asked, delighted.
"No, football is in the fall. I mean the soccer game," she raised her eyebrows at him.
"Yes, of course, soccer. That is what I meant," he gave her a rueful smile.
"You're going, too, right?" Ms. Calendar asked.
"Oh, of course," the librarian assured her, "Wouldn't miss it."
"So, we should just go together! Look, I could pick you up after school, and we'll grab a bite to eat on the way if you like. How do you feel about Mexican?"
Giles nodded, "Sounds lovely."
"Good! Okay! I have to set up the lab now. See you, later," she swept off into her classroom.
"See you tonight, then," Giles smiled and started down the hall. "That went rather well."
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Xander was jealous. He'd never been jealous of a sandwich before. It was a pressed Italian sandwich on ciabatta, with salami, pepperoni, prosciutto, and provolone. It was the center of Faith's world just then, and Xander was man enough to admit that he was jealous; of her because the sandwich looked damn good and of it, because of the little noises of pleasure it elicited from his girlfriend.
"I'm thinking about taking culinary next year," the boy announced.
"Guys that can cook are hot," Faith said before taking a swig of her pomegranate juice and returning her attention to the sandwich.
Amy and Willow nodded their agreement. "I still don't get how Chris could do it. I mean, arresting the cell deterioration is one thing, but…" Willow trailed off as she absently munched a carrot stick and flipped through the science text propped on her knees. "Maybe an electrical current combined with an adrenaline boost."
Finally, Faith finished her sandwich. "So, did Chris and Eric show up at all?"
"No," Amy informed her. "Neither of them came to school today."
"That's no coincidence," Xander said biting into his slab of pepperoni 'pizza.' "Bleh. This crust is worse. How could it get more bland?"
"I know," Amy griped. "It's chewy and rock hard at the same time. And both tastes gross and lacks any flavor! It's a paradox."
"Maybe they finished their project?" Willow asked looking up finally. "What if it worked? What, what if that poor girl is walking around?"
"Poor girls, technically," Xander supplied.
"What could she be thinking?" Faith wondered.
"And what are they gonna do with her?" Amy shuddered.
"I don't think we need to worry about that just yet," Giles reassured the teens as he came out of his office. "Angel found three heads in the dumpster."
"They only had three girls," the Slayer pointed out.
"Precisely," the Watcher smiled at her.
"So, they don't have the whole, uh, package?" Willow asked.
"Heads must be no good," Xander postulated. "Huh. I found 'em attractive enough." He shrugged at the girls' disapproving looks, "Well, obviously I'm not as sick as Chris and Eric."
"From the various, ah, bits missing from the dumpster I would say they're one step short of completing their masterpiece," Giles told them.
Amy pushed her plate away.
"I'm sorry to have put you off your lunch," the librarian apologized.
"Huh? Oh, no it's not that. This, pizza, I guess, is…"
"Simultaneously the worst and most boring thing I have ever put in my mouth, and I once ate a slug on a dare," Xander explained for her.
Giles grimaced.
Willow just waved a carrot stick at them on her way to the computer, "I'll check the obits for a likely candidate."
"They seem kinda picky for guys who had three heads, to begin with," Xander pointed out.
"Formaldehyde," the hacker said absently.
"Formaldehyde?" Giles repeated. His eyes went wide with realization. "Of course, it accelerates neural decay in the brain cells."
"After a couple days they're useless. They're gonna need something really fresh," Willow declared.
"How fresh?" the Slayer asked not liking where this was leading.
"As fresh as possible," Willow answered. She swallowed and asked, "Faith, you don't think that they would..."
"I think anybody who cuts dead girls into little pieces does not get the benefit of any doubt. I wanna end this thing now," Faith stood.
"I second that," Giles agreed. Then he remembered, "Oh! I'm supposed to be meeting Jenny here after school; we're attending the game together."
"Okay, fine," Faith thought a moment. "Willow and I will go to Chris', Amy and Xander to Eric's. We can meet up at the game after. Everyone got their walkie?"
Everyone nodded.
"Giles tell the office we all went home sick, and we think it was the pizza," Xander patted him on the shoulder as the four teens left the library.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Chris' house was a square, cream-colored Bungalow with a stained glass in the front door. The woman who answered said door was the very picture of the depressed housewife. Her short hair was frazzled and she was still in her flannel nightshirt and slippers. Her skin was red and blotchy, and there were heavy bags under her eyes. The air in the house smelled of cigarette smoke, booze, and decay.
It was her eyes more than anything else that stopped Faith in her tracks. The Slayer had seen those eyes before. Glassy and lifeless, unable to focus on what was right in front of was nearly three thousand miles away herself…
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
It was nearly six months ago. Faith had stood, staring at the crumpled form of her mother but not quite sure what had happened. Her mother had been yelling about something – the letter from her father – and grabbed a thin, hot pink belt with hearts cut out of it. Faith had put her hands up to protect her face, but her arms were getting tired and the little metal buckle hurt. It had cracked into the back of her head and then the next thing she knew, she was standing over her mother watching a bruise form on the side of her face. Faith had left before she regained consciousness.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Willow tugged the Slayer's arm to get her to follow them into the house. She continued to babble unsure of what else to do, "I kinda need to talk to him about the science fair. Uh, do you know if he's home?" She paused to give the woman time to answer. Faith managed to shut the door behind them. "So, is he home?"
"Westbury game," the woman indicated the football game playing on the television. "November 17, Daryl's freshman year. He rushed 185 yards that night. Four TD's. He was MVP, and he made All-City that season."
"Yeah, that was a great one," Willow agreed awkwardly. "Um, but is Chris home?"
"I dunno. Is today a school day?" she asked almost dazed. Suddenly the light of life shone in her eyes, she smiled and cried out, "Oh, watch! Watch this move!" The girls watched. "Daryl takes a kickoff, he sheds one, two, three defenders, and he breaks into the open field for a ninety-five-yard touchdown!" She laughed quietly to herself and took a drag off her cigarette. "He woulda been nineteen next week."
Faith began looking around and quickly spotted the basement door with its 'Keep Out' and 'No Admittance' signs. "You wanna keep Mrs. Epps company or head into the creepy basement with me?"
The pair looked at the woman, who was staring at the screen like a watery-eyed zombie, fully absorbed in the game.
"Creepy basement!" Willow decided. The girls descended quietly into the darkened partially finished basement. Faith checked the shelves while Willow searched the table in the middle of the room. The Slayer moved on to a small curtained off area. After finding pictures of herself and Faith, Willow picked up an anatomical chart to view it in the light streaming in from the small window. Cordelia's head was pasted on it. The hacker pulled out her walkie-talkie, "They're targeting Cordelia!"
Faith pulled back the curtain just as she heard the front door open. She almost missed him as she turned to tell Willow to leave out the window, "Red, window, now!" She spun around and backhanded the large gray skinned man. He was thickly built and strong. The blow did not stagger him back as much as she would have liked. It did, however, give her the time to run over and boost the redhead up so she could climb out.
Faith turned her attention to the zombie.
"You shouldn't be here," he growled.
"News flash, ugly, neither should you," she growled back.
The zombie flipped the table from between them and advanced on her. Faith shot out a simple front kick to his gut. The zombie grunted and stumbled back but seemed none the worse for wear. The Slayer repeated the move on his next approach. The zombie roared and lunged at her. Faith twisted to the side and brought her elbow down on the back of his neck as he passed her. He slammed into the cement wall hard enough to crack it.
"No, don't hurt him!" Chris called running down the stairs.
Faith grimaced. She knew the blow to the zombie's neck had severed his spine. Flowering the wall with his face was not good news for his brain. "It's over, Chris," the Slayer told him. "Daryl's gone."
"No!" he rushed over to his brother's body. "I can fix this. I brought him back once, I can do it again."
"No," Faith said. "His ticket has been punched. Elvis has left the building. Count yourself lucky that neither he nor Eric murdered anyone."
Chris sobbed into Daryl's still shoulder.
"Chris," the Slayer knelt and put a hand on the boy's back. "Trust me, it's better this way. You can give the body life, but once the soul leaves… It's not really them. He was willing to kill Cordelia. You know Daryl would never do that. You know it wasn't really him."
Chris just nodded and continued to sob, finally able to mourn his older brother.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
Xander stood outside the girl's locker room with his arms folded across his chest. Eric hadn't been at home. When Willow had radioed, the two teens decided to bodyguard the cheerleader. Cordelia was annoying but she didn't deserve to be decapitated.
Finally, Xander heard the soft tap of a lone pair of sneakers making their way down the hall. Eric looked shocked when he saw the boy. "Hey, Eric," Xander nodded to him. "Nice night. Enjoying the game?"
"Y-yeah," Eric stammered.
"Good. Where's the lab at, Eric?" Xander asked.
"I don't know what you're talking about," the boy started to back away.
Xander pushed himself off the wall. "The lab where you and Chris were building Daryl a Frankenstein bride," Xander clarified. "Where is it? It's not at your place. It's not at Chris'."
"You got nothing on me man," Eric turned to run but Xander reached out and grabbed him.
He lifted the smaller boy off the ground by his lapels, "Last chance. Where is the lab?"
"Ow. Okay, okay!" Eric cried out. "It's in the old science lab."
Xander dropped him as Cordelia, two other cheerleaders and Amy came out of the locker room, "Really? The science lab? How unoriginal is that? Also, I can't take you seriously in that shirt."
Eric looked sheepish.
{FtVS}{FtVS}{FtVS}
The Citroen rumbled into the garage. Giles was finally home. Faith stretched on the couch and went to greet him in the hallway that led from the garage to the master bedroom. The Slayer grinned at him, "So, how'd it go?"
Giles smiled to himself but said nothing as he passed the utility room.
"Come on, you gotta give me something," the girl pleaded.
Giles just closed his door slowly.
"She kissed you!" Faith shouted, laughing to herself as she made her way to her bedroom.