Touch My Heart - Chapter 15

A/N: Hey again so soon! Guess what? We've got another chapter! Can I get a hell yeah for that? ! #%^ So, with prom coming up soon, I though that it would be nice to see how shopping for a tuxedo went for Sonny from his and Justin's POV. Also, I was excited about having Sonny and Will talk about the after prom! You know? You will also have some Justin in this chapter! Can I get another hell yeah? ! #$%^ lol! Well, this chapter of Touch My Heart is by Me, Roxy, Mike McFee, Christina and last but not least, Jen Rescuemama! Hope you enjoyed that last chapter and I really hope you enjoy this one just as much! Love you guys! - Roxy

P.S. : Italics without bold in this chapter are things that happened in the past that Will is thinking about. Just didn't wanna confuse anyone! Alright! I'm done now! Enjoy!

(Sonny's POV)

I wasn't very happy leaving Will after class today. My dad had rearranged his schedule so that he could have the afternoon off so that he could take me shopping for a tuxedo today.

"So, are you excited about going shopping with your dad today, Son?", Will asked.

"No!"

"No? Why not? I thought you we're excited about spending the afternoon with you dad."

It wasn't that I was happy about spending the afternoon with my father. Because I was. My dad hardly ever had time to take us shopping and doing stuff like this. So in a way, I felt kinda special knowing that dad took this time off to spend it just with me. However, I have never been so anxious and nervous at the same time.

"I'm just nervous. That's all."

"Why? Are scared that I'm not going to like what you choose?"

"A little bit", I admitted, but it was so much more than that.

"That's impossible, Son. You are the most beautiful", Will stopped and kissed the soft skin of my neck and made his way up until he reached my ear, "Most handsome", he stopped again and nibbled my ear lobe for a second, "Sexiest", he continued and left a trail of kisses leading up to my mouth where he kiss me hard and pulled away, leaving me breathless to say the least, "Man that I've even seen and there is no way that I would not like what you choose. You could wear a towel for all I care and still be the sexiest person there!"

"Oh, Will...You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"I am not! It's true! You are so beautiful and all mine", Will said just before kissing me possessively, "Mine!", he whispered and held on to me tightly.

"Yours..."

"So, what time is your dad picking you up?"

"At anytime now. Will you wait with me until he does?", I asked, because I wasn't very fond of waiting outside on the steps alone.

"Of course, babe. Come, let's sit", Will suggested and before I could even object, Will sat down on the steps and pulled me on to his lap.

"Will..."

"What?", he smiled and kissed my cheek.

"Nothing. You're just so unpredictable."

"Hope that's a good thing?", Will questioned.

"Definitely a good thing!", I mentioned and kissed Will on the lips.

Will moaned softly, "Hummm...Mine!"

I laughed, "Yes, Will. Yours..."

I never seen Will so desirous before and it was flattering to know that someone could loved me so much. I laid my head against Will's shoulders while Will played in my hair. We just sat there looking into each others eyes for the longest time, simply enjoying our time together, when suddenly, the sound of a horn honking, signaling my dad's arrival pulled us out of our trance.

Will helped me up and walked me over to my dad's SUV, "So, are you going to come over later when I'm done shopping?"

"Do you want me to?", Will teased.

"Yes! Do you even have to ask me that question?"

"I was just messing with you, babe. Of course, I'll come over. Just text me when you get home, okay?"

I nodded, "Okay. I love you, Will."

"Love you too. Have fun!"

Will kissed me one last time before I got into the front seat of my dad's vehicle and waved us off.

I just sat there smiling so hard that my face hurt. I never thought that loving someone so much was even possible. It didn't take my father long to notice my wonderful mood.

"Someone looks happy today?", my dad mentioned and smiled briefly while keeping his eyes focused on the road.

"I am happy dad. Will makes me so happy."

"I've noticed. So, you ready to do this?", he asked.

"Yes!"

"Great! I have the perfect place picked out for us to shop for your tuxedo."

(Will's POV)

As I watched Sonny drive off with his dad, Chad walked by and went straight off to his car as if he was trying to remain unnoticed. It had been almost a week since I spotted him and Alex together in Horton Town Square together and the opportunity to speak to Chad privately hadn't taken place. I tried on many occasions to approach Alex and every time that I've tried talking to him, he kept brushing me off and making excuses that he was either busy or had some kinda meeting at school. If I don't know any better you would have thought that he was all around trying to avoid me at all cost.

I pulled out my cell and send Chad a quick text to see if he could meet up with me for bit while I waited for Sonny to get home.

- Hey DiMera! Want 2 hang?

I watched Chad from a distance as I waited for him to text me back.

- Sorry Horton. No can do. Busy 2 Night. Tomorrow?

That was odd, cause Chad's never too busy to hang out. I texted him back almost immediately.

- Gr8 C U then. Text me with time and place. Later.

Chad texted back a few seconds later.

- Will do. Later Horton.

Just as I was putting my phone away back in my pocket and walk out to my car, I spotted Alex coming out from the left side exit. I took a step back and watched as he walked out to the packing lot and headed straight towards Chad's car.

"What the...", I whispered to myself as I continued to watch what was happening right there in front of me.

Alex got into Chad's car and threw his back pack on the back seat and the both drove off together.

I stood there dumbfounded for a moment as I tried to process what I had just witnessed.

I was quickly pulled out of my thoughts by Joey who hollered at me from behind, "Will, wait up!"

"Hey Jo. What's up?", I asked as I tried to push the images what I just substantiated out of my head.

"Nothing. I was wondering if you could drop me off at home or just hang out for a little while I wait for me dad to pick me up."

"What about Alex?"

I decided to play detective and find out if Joey knew anything about Chad and Alex.

"No idea! He said that he needed to take care of something and to hitch a ride with you or wait for me dad to pick me up when he's done shopping with Sonny."

"Yeah, well...I can take you home or if you want, we could hang out at my place for a while until Sonny get back."

"Sounds Great! Hey, wanna check out the new video games at the Square before we head out to your place?"

"Sure, we can do that. Uh, Jo? Did you notice how Alex is acting all weird lately?", I had to ask because the knowing what was going on was driving me crazy.

"Yeah, well...It's nothing unusual for Alex to act that way. But now that you mention it, he has been acting rather strangely lately."

"Yeah, I've noticed and I think that I have an idea why."

"Care to share?", Joey asked.

"Chad DiMera!"

"Chad DiMera? Isn't that you're best friend?"

"The one and only. Now Jo, if I tell you this, can you promise me that you're not going to tell Alex or Sonny about this until I speak to Chad about it tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I promise", Joey agreed and I trusted Joey completely to keep this to himself, "What is it?"

"Well, you remember when we went out for ice cream last week?"

"Yeah...What about it?"

"I saw Chad and Alex together at the Square and that's why I asked where Alex was."

"I don't understand, Will. What would Alex being doing with Chad?", Joey seemed just as confused about it as I was.

"My point exactly. And just now before you got here, Alex left with Chad."

"Impossible. I just saw him inside when I left the student councils office", Joey confirmed.

"Well, I'm sorry to break it to you but I just saw him leave with Chad. You can go check it out for yourself if you don't believe me."

"No, I believe you, Will. I'm just not sure what to say."

I let out a deep sigh, "I'm going to talk to Chad tomorrow and I'll let you know what I find out. I'm going to get to the bottom of this is it's the last thing I do."

"Want me to try to talk to Alex or spy on him to see if I can find out anything on my end?", Joey offered.

"Nah, I don't want you to get in any trouble, Jo."

"Trust me! It's no trouble at all. Let me see what I can find out."

"Okay, but be careful not to get caught, Okay?"

"Promise!"

Who knows? Maybe working with Joey on this was a good idea. He can keep a close eyes on things from his end, and I can try to find out more from Chad tomorrow. But what ever it is that Alex and Chad are hiding, I am going to find out if it's the last thing I do.

(Justin's POV)

Ever since Will Horton had come to my office, I knew I would have to have a talk with Sonny; THE TALK with Sonny. I wasn't looking forward to it. No parent ever is. I could have had the talk that night, but I chickened out; and then again this morning, and again during the tuxedo buying, I chickened out. I was beginning to think there wouldn't be an appropriate moment, or even that this kind of talk wasn't truly needed. But then we had walked by a jewelry store.

Sonny had shown me the present that Will had given him, Will's class ring on a chain. Sonny loved that gift immensely. He kept fingering the ring around his neck. It was rather endearing, actually. And when Sonny saw the jewelry store, and a specific piece of jewelry on a gold chain in the window display of that store, he wanted to go in. He wanted to buy that piece of jewelry, very badly. He had stopped me with a jerk of his arm. Turned towards the window and just
stared, for a rather long while.

I asked him what he was looking at, and he told me. I asked him why he wanted it and he said, "Because I love Will. I love him Dad…very much. He deserves something nice."

Who can argue with that? We walked into the store to buy it. It was something to see. I have known Sonny his whole life; I know his triggers (although these triggers have lessened in recent days); I know his reactions to these triggers. Sonny does not like crowds or new situations. This store had both these triggers. But Sonny didn't react. He was nervous. His hands did start to twitch, but he asked the right questions and he remained calm. When the time came to pay for it, he fumbled a little, but managed to pull his credit card out of his wallet. He was very nervous, but held that nervousness in rather well. I guess I could thank Will Horton for that. We were doing all this for him. Sonny looked up at me and smiled and said, "This isn't an emergency, but it is important."

All I did was nod. Sonny had gotten Will a present. This was a first.

Sonny and I were walking towards the tux shop at Horton Town Square. I had just finished helping Sonny buy a present for Will Horton. All there was left to do now is get Sonny fitted for his tuxedo. If you asked me a year ago, six months ago, heck, even just a week ago, that I would be doing this with Sonny, I would have told anyone that it was….highly unlikely. But because of Will Horton and Sonny's love for that young man, and Will's love for my youngest boy, I had done just that.

(Sonny's POV)

We walked into the tux shop and immediately began browsing through each tux. Some weren't my style, others were bright colors of red, maroon, and blues. I had always pictured a black jacket with a white button down, and a black cumber bun. I hadn't given thought to what color the bow tie would be but browsing through them, I found a beautiful light blue that reminded me of Will's eyes.

"I like this shirt dad", I pointed out and pulled it off of the rack.

"Nice choice!", my dad agreed.

The jacket that I finally settled on had a long coat-tail. It came just below the curve of my bottom. I blushed a little at that thought. The pants were crisp black and tailored to fit my height. And the whole tux together loomed amazing with Will's ring that rested comfortably over the bow tie.

I reached up and lightly touched the golden chain and smiled, "Dad, do you think Will is going to like this suit?", I ask now becoming a little unsure of myself.

My dad walked up behind of me and laid his hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze, "You are breathtakingly handsome son. Will won't know what hit him", He squeezed again and gave me a reassuring smile.

I turned and looked into my dads brown eyes, "You really think so?", I asked again.

"Son, Will loves you. You are all he wants, and because of that he will think you're suit looks amazing on you. You could wear a potato sack and Will would think it was amazing."

I smile, "Thanks dad", I said, I'm sure my face is scarlet after my dad implying that I'm sexy.

"I love him dad", I said with a small shrug.

"I know Son. He loves you too."

I subconsciously patted my pocket, just to remind myself that my surprise is still there. I had wanted to get Will something special, and when I saw this, I knew that it was it. It was the one thing that I knew could convey my love for Will. I smiled after I was sure that it's still safe and carefully tucked away.

(Justin's POV)

And I have to say, Sonny looked really good in a tuxedo. He had been a little anxious about how he looked. I had to reassure him several times that Will would really enjoy seeing him in that tuxedo. When Sonny stood up straight and tall, when he had confidence in himself, when he thought of Will and how Will would see him, he looked amazing; formidable.

We paid for the tux and walked out of the shop and cut through Horton Town Square.

As we approached the center of Horton Town Square, I couldn't help but think of how brave Sonny had been, throughout all this. And then I thought, "If Sonny can be brave like this, well then so can I."

I asked Sonny if he wanted an ice-cream cone. His face lit up in delightful anticipation. We both got one and headed the more secluded seats in the Square.

I then broached the subject of intimacy and Will Horton, by being direct. Sonny wasn't like most teenage boys. The best way to not make him feel anxious about a topic was to be direct. I took a few deep breaths and asked him, "Sonny, do you have feelings for Will Horton? And I don't just mean do you love him, because I know you do. Do you want to do things with him…to him…physical things?"

I could see Sonny visibly blush. I hoped very strongly that I hadn't pushed it. If Sonny didn't know how to handle things, he would get frustrated; and sometimes that meant that he would lash out. I held my breath. Sonny bent his head down slightly but then turned to me, although he did not look me in the eyes (He hardly ever looked anyone in the eyes).

"Yes Dad I do", was all he said.

I told him that what he wanted to do with Will was his business; and it should remain between him and Will. But I also said that he should talk to Will.

"I'm not going to give you the sex talk because we have already had it. You are a responsible young man and Will seems to be as well. If these things are comfortable for you when you do them, then it's okay."

I took a deep breath before I continued, "If there are things that you don't feel comfortable doing, you need to tell Will."

Sonny nodded.

"But you also can't force Will to do anything either. Will also has a right to say no. And just because he says no does not mean that he doesn't love you; just like if you say no to something that Will wants to do, it doesn't mean that you don't love him. Will is new to this, just like you. You need to respect each other and to do that you need to talk to each other; to communicate. Do you understand, Sonny?"

Sonny nodded and then, for the very first time, he hugged me. I was elated. It felt so nice to receive a hug from my youngest son. It felt even better when he said, "I love you Dad."

(Sonny's POV)

"Son, how about we hit that ice cream shop over there?" My dad asks. I smile at the memories Will and I share in that exact same shop. It was the first place we went on our first date. The first time I spoke to him. It was a great day.

"Sure", I said and we head in the direction of the little shop.

We walked in and ordered our ice cream. I got a double scoop of ice cream on a waffle cone. Dad got a single scoop of mint chocolate chip in a waffle cup. We walked over to the window and sat down.

Dad took a deep breath and says, "Sonny, do you have feelings for Will Horton? And I don't mean do you love him, because I know you do. Do you want to do things with him...to him...physical things?"

I look down at the table; I'm sure I'm blushing at this point. I keep my eyes trained on the table and answer, "Yes dad, I do."

I see dad take a shaky breath and he says, "I'm not going to give you the sex talk because we have already had it. You are a responsible young man and Will seems to be as well. If these things are comfortable for you when you do them, then it's okay."

He took a deep breath and I look up to meet his eyes, "If there are things you don't feel comfortable doing, you need to tell Will."

I nod my understanding. Will and I had already had this conversation and I completely understood this.

"But you also can't force Will to do anything either. Will has the right to say no. And just because he says no doesn't mean he doesn't love you; just like if you say no to something Will wants to do doesn't mean you don't live him. Will is new to this, just like you. You need to respect each other and to do that you need to communicate to each other. Do you understand?"

I'm sure I do, but I had never thought about it quite like that before. I have always respected my dad, but him telling me to respect Will and not rush him made me respect him so much more.

I nodded, "I love you dad."

"I know Son. I love you too."

We finished our ice cream in mutual comfortable silence. I worried my bottom lip because I wondered if I had rushed Will into anything. I didn't think I had. I may need to talk to Will later on to make sure.

We head home and I run up to my room to text Will and tell him that it was alright to come over.

And for the first time in a very long time, I was confident that this was going to be an amazing experience after all.

(Will POV)

Sonny and I were laying next to each other in his bed. His head rested comfortably against my chest as I played in his messy hair. I sang to him every night before I left. This made Sonny comfortable and it also helped him relax.

"You are my Sonny, my only Sonny. You make me happy...", I sang effortlessly.

Sonny smiled, "Will, you know that isn't how the song goes", he giggled and curled up closer to me.

"I know, babe. This is our version. My Sonny!", I said and I wrapped my arms tightly around him and pulled him closer towards me.

"I love this version, Will."

"And I love you..."

We stayed silent for a while just enjoying each others company when I decided to ask him how shopping for a tuxedo with his father went.

"So, how did it go with your dad? Did you find a tux that you liked?"

Even if I couldn't see his face, I knew he was smiling, "Yes. It's very nice, Will."

"Can I see it?", I asked. I was curious to know what he had decided on.

"No! It's a surprise, Will. You will have to wait until prom to see it."

"You're no fun!", I joked.

It was almost time for me to leave and go home to finish up my homework. We had made a habit of spending as much time together as we possibly could until it was time to part ways for the night. Sonny was doing so much better now when it came time for me to leave him. I remember how hard it was at first though. Sonny would always be sad when I left and let me just say that on many occasions, he even cried when I had to go.

"You have to go soon?", Sonny asked.

"Yeah, babe. But we still have a few minutes before I have to leave."

"Oh, Okay...", Sonny breathed out in disappointment.

But Sonny was so much stronger now and so brave, that when it came time for me to leave, he wouldn't even fight it anymore. Because he knew that I would be right there the next morning to pick him up and take him to school. He also knew that I loved him so much and I made very sure to remind him of it every chance I got. However there where some nights that Sonny needed a little more convincing that others.

"Hey, why the sad face?", I asked as I lifted his chin so that I could see his eyes.

"It's nothing, really. Just gonna miss you. That's all."

We had come to an understanding a few weeks ago that I would leave around eight, so that we could both finish up our studies with having any distractions whatsoever. We had tried to do our homework together on numerous occasions, but that didn't turn out very well because we were easily distracted with each other and it always ended up with us making out and not doing homework.

"Son...we talked about this. You need to get you're home work done and I need to study. You know what happens when I stay over."

Sonny let out a sigh, "Yeah, I know."

Then end of the week was approaching very quickly and I was really getting nervous about the upcoming prom. It only a few weeks until the big night and I didn't even get the chance to talk to Sonny about it yet and I wasn't sure how to approach him about the subject either. So I thought maybe this was the perfect opportunity to stay a little longer, which will make Sonny very happy or course. And as a bonus, it would give me the opportunity to talk to Sonny about
prom night and the after prom.

"Son?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't have much studying to do tonight, so if you would like, I could maybe stay a little while longer. Maybe an extra half hour or so? Would you like that?", I asked him.

"Really?", I was very ecstatic.

I laughed, "Yes! Really! But there's something that I wanted to talk to you about if that's okay."

Sonny face dropped into a worrisome look, "Oh..."

"There's nothing to worry about, babe", I reassured him.

I reached inside my bag and pulled out a card and handed it over to Sonny.

"What's this?", Sonny asked curiously as he sat up straight.

"Open it!", I smiled.

Sonny took the card out of my hand and carefully slipped his finger along the edge and tore it open. He pulled out the card and opened it up and out fell two prom tickets, a note, and plastic key card.

Sonny looked at the items curiously as if he was trying to understand what all this meant. I didn't push. I wanted to give him as much time as he needed to process all this.

Sonny eyes the items carefully once at a time, starting with the prom tickets. He smiled hard at them and placed them along side of him on the bed.

He then picked up the note and slowly opened it. I watched him as he read the note out loud carefully.

"To my beautiful Sunshine. I am so honored that you have agreed to be my prom date. I promise that this will be a night that I we will both never forget. I can't wait for everyone to us walking in together, because I'm so proud to have the most handsome man in the entire world standing right there next to me. I love you Sonny, and thank you so much for being not only my prom date, but also for being my boyfriend and the love of my life. Yours always, Will."

"Will...I don't know what to say...", he whispered softly as his eyes filled with tears.

"You don't have to say anything, babe. I just wanted you to know how much I love you and how happy you make me."

Sonny wiped away the tears and placed the note next to the prom tickets, "I love you so much, Will."

I leaned in a kissed his lips softly and pulled away.

Sonny gasped once our lips parted and quickly looked down at the plastic card that was left in front of him.

"What's this, Will?", he asked eyeing the plastic card.

I knew that he wouldn't understand what the card was, and that was the point of this conversation. To explain to him what it meant and to help him understand, that he was in no way obligated to agree to anything that he didn't want to.

I took a deep breath and started, "See, Sonny, there's more to prom than just the dance..."

Sonny just looked at me, squinting his eyes, pursing his lips, waiting for me to continue. For how many times I practiced this speech, I was struggling miserably. I thought I was ready to talk about this openly with him; maybe I was wrong. But I just had this great, honest conversation with Mr. Kiriakis only days ago.

"You see sir, I'm not just asking because it's prom. It's what prom usually implies sir. I mean... after prom...usually...sir..."

"Will, are you asking me what I think you're asking me? Because I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this."

"Mr. Kiriakis, I'm not asking for your permission to have sex with Sonny. That is an issue that he and I have to work out for ourselves...I just need to know that you will be okay with the result."

Mr. Kiriakis nodded with me as I continued to talk. "This is why I came to you sir. Sonny's a guy...a teenager...but he's also different...I want to make sure Sonny understands things and that he is safe. I don't want to take advantage of his innocence."

Then he thanked me for coming to him and being so candid. He told me that he felt better about everything knowing I will always have Sonny's best interest at heart. Mr. Kiriakis also said he was proud of me. That was one of the best parts of the conversation. It's something I've never heard from my own dad before.

That had been my biggest fear; that Mr. Kiriakis wouldn't be okay with things...that he'd think that Sonny was too , not ready for a night like this with me. Instead he thanked me and assured me that he'd talk with Sonny to help him understand. And now here I was, before this person I was more comfortable with than anyone in the entire universe, and I was frozen and my mouth felt like it was stuffed full of cotton.

"Will, what's wrong. You are making me nervous", Sonny said with sadness in his eyes now. Ugh! I was ruining everything! This discussion was supposed to be sweet and tender and loving. I'm messing up again.

I got up off the bed and Sonny followed right behind me, "I just...Uh...do you know what typically happens after prom - the dance part?"

He nodded, "My Dad talked to me about how sometimes people who love each other spend the night together. But we've done that already, Will...", he smiled shyly at me. Oh how I loved that beautiful smile. It gave me the strength I needed.

"Yes, that's right. Prom is the big celebration - especially for graduating seniors - that sort of captures all the excitement of the past year and the future to come. People let loose...and I just want you to know that I don't expect you to be like everyone else. You...you take things at your own pace."

Just the other day at school, a girl came up to me when I was on my way to meet Sonny for lunch.

"Hi Will."

"Umm, hi, do I know you?"

"No," she smiled at me, gripping her books tightly to her chest, "I'm Ava, and you don't know me, I just know about you."

"Oh. Okay." I had a variety of classmates approach me lately questioning my reasons not only for "going gay" but for seeing Sonny, or as some put it, seeing "that freak." It took everything in me to not haul off and smack them, but I was much more in control of my rage now. It didn't mean that I no longer wanted to hit them; I was just better able to suppress the urge. Now Ava didn't look like the harassing type, but you never know.

"I just want to thank you, Will, for standing up for Sonny...for treating him as an equal. My twin brother, Aiden, is autistic and about at the same place on the spectrum as Sonny. People treat him like dirt all the time; they talk down to him, like he's dumb when he's one of the smartest people I know!" Ava started to raise her voice.

"It's their loss, Ava," I said hoping to calm her down. "It's sad that people won't give Aiden or Sonny a chance. They'd love them just as much as we do."

"You are in love with him?" She looked at me with surprise.

"Yes, I am. I'm taking him to the prom and we're going to celebrate like everyone else!"

"Wow. Well, now I think you're not only brave but a little on the crazy side, too," she chuckled.

"I suppose I can be a bit crazy..."

"You have to be to take Sonny to an event where he's going to hate everything about it except being there with you!"

I didn't know how to respond. Because she was right. How come I didn't think of this before? There will be tons of people, some out of control and drunk, the music will be loud, people will be constantly invading his personal space...oh my god. What have I done? And does Sonny know what he's said 'yes' to? I knew that I needed to talk to him right away about so much more than after-prom activities.

I swallowed hard as I ran through my conversation with Ava once again.

"Sonny, can we just sit down and talk for a bit?"

Sonny nodded and sat us both down on his bed, facing each other. He took one of my hands in his and laced his fingers through it. Puzzle pieces. We fit together so perfectly.

"I'm going to be very blunt with you Sonny, so just stop me if you don't understand and know that I'm not saying anything to hurt you, I just want to be totally honest, okay?"

Sonny nodded.

"Typically couples get each other boutonnieres, or for girls, the corsages, that they exchange before the dance. I plan on getting you an orchid...it's one of my favorite flowers, so unique and beautiful, just like you are. But don't feel like you have to get me one."

I watched as Sonny smiled slightly, and I could tell he was making a mental note to talk to Alex about it later.

"Then couples go out for dinner...my treat, of course, since I asked you. Some go with a bunch of people", and I saw terror quickly flash before his eyes, "But I thought it would be nicer for it to be just you and me...unless Alex or Joey find dates and want to go with us."

"That would be okay with me, Will", Sonny spoke quietly.

"Good. So, after dinner we head to the dance. It's actually at a hotel this year. Sonny, there are lots of people who attend this event. Some people use that opportunity to drink...a lot...and they can get kind of rowdy. Prom can get crazy, lots of people, loud music, crowded dance floor..."

Sonny's amber eyes got big as saucers. He started to squeeze my hand tighter and tighter until it started to hurt.

"Sonny", I said somewhat harshly trying to jolt him out of his frightened trance, "Son!"

His head jerked towards me, he let go of my hand complete and started pacing the floor of his room. I walked to him and pulled him in tightly for a hug.

"My sunshine, remember what I said? I'm not saying this to scare you or hurt you...I just need to tell you what this is going to be like. It's not too late for you to change your mind, you know."

"Okay", I heard him murmur softly against my chest.

I didn't want him to change his mind. This was the first prom I actually was excited about because I'd be going with the person I love. But I needed to give Sonny an out. This wasn't new to me...but it was very new to Sonny. And he was my first priority. I had promised his Dad that.

"I want to dance with you Sonny, I want to be there with my boyfriend, but it's going to be hard. But I promise you that when you've had enough we can go outside and take a break or go the car...I will always be with you, okay?"

"Okay", he repeated again.

"Then, after the dance is done, lots of times couples stay overnight at the hotel. I asked my grand mother Kate for a favor and she came through for me. She offered us her private suite at the Salem Inn for the entire week-end. I just thought that maybe we could give it a try. But if you prefer not to, then we can come back here, you know, since you're more comfortable here in the first place."

"No!", Sonny erupted.

"Okay...Then I guess that We will come back here after the prom."

Sonny shook his head vigorously, "No, Will. You don't understand. I want to spend the night with you", he paused slightly and blushed, "At the hotel...Alone."

"Sonny, are you one hundred percent sure about this? I mean, if you're not, it's okay. But I need to know that this is really what you want and not the other way around, 'cause I want nothing more than to spend the night alone with you."

I felt his head move up and down, "Good. Now, remember when we talked about couples who love each other and the ways they can be intimate? I don't want to pressure you, Sonny, but I want our night to be special. I want us to talk about making love..."

Sonny's head popped up, "I told you before that what we do is always loving..."

"I know. But, sometimes two men get more intimate...kind of similar to the way men and women do. Remember your biology class?"

"Yes."

"How straight sex is a man putting his...you know...in her..."

"Yeah", Sonny interrupted me and turned the color of a tomato.

"Well, men can do that, too. Not all do, but some day I might like to try with you..."

"Will, I'm sorry. I don't get it."

"Here", and I went to his desk and grabbed his laptop. I got him to sit back down on the bed, and I pulled up the Gay Teen website that had been recommended to me by a school counselor. It talked openly about same-sex intimacy, about staying safe, about what men (and women) can do together to demonstrate their love.

I saw as Sonny started to read. A couple of times, his eyes would get a little big, but he continued to read. He moved on to the next page which talked about sexually transmitted diseases and how wearing a condom was important. It explained that it was important to wear one even if you are just giving oral sex with your mouth. And that was the first time I thought he was going to have a panic attack.

"Will?", he panted, his breathing unsteady.

"Sonny, babe, remember, we take this at our own pace. We do only what we feel comfortable doing. But you know how you took me into your hand last time? You can also do that with your mouth."

"Oh. You take the whole thing into your mouth? Don't you choke?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that, "Well, thanks for thinking I'm that big, but you only do as much as you can. I can try with you first, if you'd like?"

I winked at him, trying to put him at ease.

"Maybe", and he put his fingers to his lips and then sort of pulled at his cheek, like a hook does when you catch a fish. I laughed out loud. He looked down at the laptop and kept on reading.

And the next page discussed anal sex. First I saw him swallow nervously, then his eyes got huge once again, and then the laptop flew off of his lap and on to the floor and Sonny ran out of his room. It happened so fast, I sat there in shock for a moment before going after him. I heard a door slam, and I knew he had gone into the bathroom, another one of his safe places.

"Fuck!", I mumbled under my breath. I wanted Sonny to know everything, and I mean everything about what two men can do together. But now I was having serious second thoughts that I had gone too far.

I headed down the hall and knocked softly on the bathroom door, "Sonny, my sweet sunshine?"

No answer.

"Son, please, I want to talk to you about this. Remember just the other night you reminded me about communicating? I need to see you...to make sure you're okay...and to talk to you about this."

After what felt like a couple of minutes, Sonny opened the door, and I could see that his eyes were red and his cheeks tear-stained. Pulling him immediately into my arms, I held him, smoothing my hands against his back, constantly whispering his name and, "I love you", into his ear.

After standing like that for a while, Sonny pulled away, grabbed a tissue, took my hand and pulled us both back into his bedroom. We sat back down on his bed.

"Will, this is a lot for me and I'm kind of scared", his voice was barely a whisper, "Have you done that before? With another man?", he asked and pointed to the page on the website.

I lifted his chin so he had to look at me, "No, Sonny. You are the first man I've ever been with. I have had sex with woman before. I mean, I've fooled around before with another man, but not like this. I love you, Sonny. I want every moment with you to be special. I want to experience all of that with you. I know it sounds scary...I'm a little scared, too."

"You are?"

"Yes!", I smiled at him, "What if I can't make you feel good?"

"Will, you already have made me feel better than I ever have before in my life. I don't think that will be a problem."

I beamed, "Thank you. I needed to hear that. And I meant what I said, Sonny, we go at our own pace. I am so excited to go to prom with you, but I don't expect all of this to happen that night, okay? I just wanted to help you understand what gay intimacy involves. They certainly don't teach that in sex ed or biology class, even though they should."

"Okay", he said and his gaze flashed to his alarm clock, "Do you need to get home?"

"Yes! I do. I have a test tomorrow in English lit, so I really need to study."

"You can study here...", Sonny said and flashed his amazing smile.

"Okay, let me clarify, I need to study without distractions. I'm afraid that with you around, I'd not be able to concentrate very well", I brushed my thumb against his cheek and leaned in for a kiss. I felt his smile against my lips.

"I understand. Text me later?"

"Of course. Always. I have to tell you goodnight!"

"Yes", and Sonny stood from the bed and pulled me up. We held each other for a long time, not wanting to let go. Reluctantly, he stepped away first, "Go study, Will."

"I love you, Sonny and you know that I talked to you and showed you all of this because of how much I love you, right?"

He nodded.

"Good. Sleep tight my sunshine."

I walked to the doorway and turned back to look at Sonny as I stepped into the hallway. Sonny had the laptop back on the bed and was looking intently at the website once again. I smiled to myself as I walked down the stairs and got into my car. and thought that maybe, just maybe, for once, everything will be just fine after all.