Love Sees More 3: Greyback's Pack

Chapter 7 - The Bite

The blood wasn't quite Sirius's. Well, it was, but it had a slight tinge to it that Remus really didn't like (not that he liked the taste of any blood, but this one was especially vile). Perhaps it was what children tasted like, and that thought made him sick. He wasn't sure how anyone could possibly enjoy biting people, and judging from what Greyback had said earlier, this was apparently supposed to give him a lust for more blood. Remus didn't see that happening. Ever.

After what felt like an hour, but was certainly just mere seconds, Moony released his grip on the boy's shoulder. For a precarious moment, Remus thought he was going to lose whatever food he had eaten that day. Moony's stomach lurched uncomfortably, so he shut his mouth and his eyes, desperately praying for the nauseous feeling to recede. It wouldn't do to be sick when he was supposed to be convincing Greyback that he was suitable for this pack.

The boy stopped screaming then, and the silence felt awkward. Moony hadn't realized that the boy still had been screaming, not until that moment. He had been yelling throughout the "attack", and it had become almost like a background noise to Moony.

Moony still couldn't open his eyes. His stomach had settled the tiniest bit, and he was afraid that if he saw the blood, that the nausea would start anew. That was when he felt little fingers in his fur - tiny fingers that belonged to a little boy.

"'M fine, Moony," came Justin's whispered voice in his ear, but in words that were strictly Sirius's. Remus needed that. Maybe he hadn't been looking, not just to keep the nausea at bay, but because he didn't want to see what sort of state the boy could possibly be in. "Just trying to make it convincing," Justin said quietly.

Moony opened his eyes then, Justin's bright blue ones looking up at him through the dark of the night. There was nothing in them to suggest that Sirius was in any pain, even though Remus knew he was. The boy did look a bit tired, but Remus supposed that was to be expected.

Justin winked, letting his hand fall from Moony's fur. Justin's eyes began to droop and he screamed again, although this one was much quieter than before. It actually sounded more like crying now rather than screaming. He started calling for help, for his parents, and Remus thought he could feel his heart actually breaking apart in his chest.

An ear-piercing scream startled him from this thoughts. Moony looked up to see who he assumed to be Justin's mother, Mrs. Farris standing on the porch of her house. She was shrieking at the top of her lungs, her hands pressed to the sides of her face in horror. Even though she knew the boy wasn't really her son, the sight had to be shocking to her nonetheless.

Remus definitely couldn't understand how anyone could enjoy this. If he had just bitten her son for real, Remus suspected he would feel like the lowest creature on the planet. Then again, he supposed that many of the werewolves already felt like vile creatures before they ever even set foot in Greyback's Pack; they wouldn't be there otherwise.

"R-ROBERT!" the woman yelled. She started sobbing and fumbling around in her robes for something. When she finally looked up at Moony again, he saw that she had withdrawn her wand. She raised it high over Moony's head and yelled, "Avada Kedavra!"

It missed by nearly a dozen feet, slamming into the branch of a tree somewhere and causing it to snap off. Remus knew that was his cue to leave, but he was torn. The last thing he wanted to do was leave Sirius now. Sirius had said he was fine, but Remus wouldn't be able to relax until he knew for sure. Then again, if he stayed any longer, especially after Mrs. Farris had thrown a Death Curse at him, he would probably be precariously close to throwing his cover with Greyback.

Moony took one last look at his best friend. The left shoulder of Sirius's - or the boy's - robes was now soaked through with blood. Justin's eyes were drooping, and he looked like he might be losing consciousness. Remus wondered if that was part of the act or not, but he knew he couldn't stay any longer to find out for sure.

Moony turned and took off running into the woods. Behind him, he heard Mrs. Farris calling for her husband again, but he tried to block it out as he ran. He even passed Greyback and the other werewolves, not wanting to even look at them at the moment. Remus didn't even care how that made him look. He just kept on running, and he didn't plan on stopping until it was completely quiet - until he couldn't hear a single sign of what he had done.

When he was sure he was alone, Moony finally slowed, coming to a stop near a small clearing. His heart was racing so fast, it almost felt like he had done something wrong - like he had bitten a child for real.

Sighing heavily, Moony noticed for the first time that he had blood all over him. It had dripped down his chin onto his chest and paws, staining the grey fur crimson. The taste of the blood hung in his mouth, a stark reminder of what he had just done. It made him feel dirty, tainted.

All he wanted to do at that moment was to return to the village and make sure that Sirius was okay, but he knew he couldn't risk it. If he was still on good terms with Greyback, he couldn't do anything to jeopardize it, especially not now. He hadn't just gone through all of this to throw it away for a moment of weakness.

With any luck, however, Sirius would be gone by now. As soon as Justin's parents got to him, they were supposed to immediately Floo to Hogwarts under the guise that they were taking Justin to a healer. Dumbledore was waiting for them, and he was going to take Mr. and Mrs. Farris to be with Justin.

That was perhaps the only thought that kept Remus from losing his mind - that Justin was somewhere safe and nowhere near any of this madness. Remus tried to push everything else out of his mind and focus only on that.

He curled up under a tree and hoped that Greyback and the rest of the werewolves would have enough sense to leave him in peace. When morning came, he would have to carry on with his charade, but for now, he just wanted to be left alone…he wanted to stop being a spy for just a moment.

When the sun rose, Remus awoke and was stunned to find himself back in human form already. The transformation back almost always woke him up, but he had managed to sleep through the entire thing. That had only happened a handful of times that he could recall; he truly must have been exhausted.

Remus sat up, feeling beyond disgusted with himself. The taste of blood still lingered in his mouth, and his hands and robes were still stained with blood from the night before. He tried not to think about the fact that he probably smelled pretty close to the way Greyback did. Remus had never wanted a hot bath, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and clean clothes more than he did right now.

Remus slowly got to his feet, looking around at the clearing he was in and the woods surrounding it. He didn't see anyone else around, and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Remus still didn't know for sure whether he had done an acceptable job last night. He supposed that if he hadn't, Greyback would have hunted him down and killed him already, but it still make him uneasy to not for sure.

Taking a deep breath, Remus started making his way back towards the direction of the village and the compound. He knew he was expected at the meeting before breakfast, and he felt like it was pretty close to that time.

Remus didn't encounter anyone else at all on his way. The woods were empty except for the birds and other small creatures that inhabited it. He stopped briefly at the Farris' cottage, but it appeared to be dark and empty as well. Trying not to look at the pool of blood that had formed on the front lawn, Remus continued on along the outskirts of the village. A part of him hoped that he'd never have to walk that path again.

When he approached the compound, everything appeared normal to him. The only sign of life he saw were a few of the werewolves sitting around the mouth of the cave. Remus assumed that everyone else was either inside somewhere, or still in the woods, recovering from the transformation. If they were deciding to throw Remus out of the pack, he doubted they would lounging around.

He wasn't quite sure where to go. Greyback said he was allowed to go anywhere now, but he didn't exactly know if he would be welcome to sit with the others around the cave entrance. He still felt like he was an outsider, like he didn't belong among them.

Finally, he decided to just go to the mess hall to wait for the meeting to start. Remus wasn't sure how it had looked to the others when he had run off into the woods last night, but he wanted them to know that he wasn't afraid. Even though he was really terrified.

A few of the werewolves around the cave looked up at him as he passed, but none of them seemed particularly interested in him. They never did, which he supposed was a good thing. Remus continued on to the mess hall, trying to act like he was confident and knew exactly what he was doing. Even though he really didn't.

At first, the mess hall appeared to be empty. The corners remained in shadows, and it was hard to see, even with the little bit of sunlight creeping in through the boards over the windows. But as Remus's eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw that someone was there - Greyback.

The older werewolf was sitting in the corner, watching him closely. Remus's heart hammered in his chest. What if Greyback didn't think he did an acceptable job the night before? What if he was going to be attacked? What if he was going to be punished for wasting Greyback's time through all of this? What if Greyback was going to try and kill him?

After several minutes of silence, Greyback got to his feet. He eyed Remus for a moment longer before saying, "I wondered when you were going to be back. Where'd you run off to last night?"

Remus blinked. He didn't know what he had been expecting Greyback to say, but not exactly that. "I…into the woods. That bloody woman started to throw Death Curses at me. I got scared." He paused and swallowed.

Greyback started to stalk towards him, and Remus kept wondering if he had failed - if Greyback was just playing around with him before he attacked. "You didn't have to stay in the woods, you know," Greyback said. "I like to come back here after the initial transformation and after I've had something to eat. It's much more comfortable than the woods."

"I was tired," Remus explained. "I ended up passing out in a clearing. Woke up just a bit ago."

"I see," Greyback said, now only mere inches away from he Remus. He looked down at him, and Remus wasn't sure what to make of his expression. One could never quite tell with Greyback; he could be perfectly calm one moment and fly off the handle the next.

Suddenly, Greyback's lips broke into a smile. "You should have stayed for the show. It was wonderful, seeing the distraught parents struggling to get their broken son into the house, while he cried out in pain, leaving a trail of blood behind. I'm sure they're at some healer's as we speak, begging him to fix their little boy, because they can't bear the thought of him being a monster. I wish I could see that, too."

Remus tried to hold Greyback's eyes and to keep his face expressionless. Remus wanted nothing more than tell Greyback what a sick freak he really was and to walk out and never come back. But he stayed, pretending like Greyback's words didn't phase him.

After what seemed like forever, Greyback broke the silence that had settled again. "You did well, Remus, as I knew you would. Welcome to my pack. You're one of us now."

"Thank you, sir," Remus mumbled, looking down at the floor. He took the opportunity to glare daggers at the poor, defenseless wood. Greyback's words were partially a relief, knowing that he had passed his test, but on the other hand, he wished didn't feel like the worst possible person on the planet.

Greyback reached out a finger, placing it under Remus's chin. He directed Remus's gaze up again and inhaled deeply, as if sniffing Remus. "You still have his blood on you," Greyback growled hungrily, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. "I'll bet he tasted sweet, didn't he?"

"Yes, sir," Remus said, pretending like he might have been answering a completely different question - if he liked chocolate perhaps.

"I'm sure he did," Greyback almost purred. "Don't wash it off. Wear it like a badge of honor for as long as it will stay - a reminder to the rest in this pack that you do belong with us now. Especially that Talon. I can't wait until he shows up," Greyback hummed pleasantly, finally releasing his hold on Remus's chin. "He seemed so sure you wouldn't do it, that I was making a horrible mistake by letting you stay. I can't wait to see his expression when he finds out that not only are you still here, but that you now outrank him."

For some reason, that make Remus smile. "I can't either."

Greyback continued to grin in return. "They should be here shortly," he said, "but do make yourself at home until they arrive." He turned and returned to the corner he had been sitting in before. He resumed one of his favorite activities - picking at his teeth with his long and yellowed fingernails.

Trying not to think about what Greyback could have possibly eaten last night, Remus found a place on the floor, stretching out his tired and sore limbs. He leaned back against the wall, dozing slightly until he heard the other werewolves begin to arrive.

As usual, none of the others seemed all that curious or surprised to see him there. The only ones to truly acknowledge his presence were Althea (she smiled and waved) and Talon. He, on the other, did not look the least bit pleased.

Greyback stood and counted them as they entered, making sure everyone was accounted for. Remus got to his feet as well, trying to pretend like he really did belong there - like this was his home now, which it would never be.

"As you all can see," Greyback announced proudly, walking back and forth among the werewolves, "Remus is still here, which means that yes, he passed his test. He successfully turned the Farris boy last night." He continued to pace back and forth, but then stopped in front of Talon. "I know that there was some doubt among you about Remus's suitability for this pack. I was accused of being stupid by letting him in." He threw his head back and laughed. "I do hope that this clears up any reservations on your part. Remus is one of us now, and he is to be treated as such." Greyback stepped closer to Talon, glaring down at him. "Especially by those beneath him." Greyback looked up and then around at the rest of the pack. "Is that clear to everyone?"

A murmur of affirmative answers went through the crowd, and Greyback looked even more pleased with himself by the moment. He turned on his heel and faced Remus next.

"Remus," he said, "you are now officially a delta - two ranks above where you were yesterday. Well done."

Remus held his head up, trying to look as proud as could about it. "Thank you, sir."

"And that's all for today," Greyback said. "You may all go to breakfast now, and I'll see you at lunch."

Greyback immediately left the mess hall, probably happy about the fact that he didn't have to "baby-sit" Remus anymore. Even Talon left right away, not even bothering to stick around to throw some nasty words at Remus. Perhaps Talon was beginning to accept Remus.

The only one to stay behind was Althea. She hurried over to Remus and said, "I knew you'd still be here. I'm kind of glad, and congratulations on making delta. I've been here for two years, and I haven't even gotten that far."

Remus smiled in return, not sure what else he was supposed to do.

"Did you want to get some breakfast together?" she asked.

"Actually," Remus said, "I'm still pretty tired from last night. I think I'm just going to take a nap, but I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

Althea looked disappointed, but she nodded and tried to put on her best smile. "Okay," she finally responded before she left him alone.

There was only one thing Remus wanted to do in that moment. He quickly left the mess hall and looked around. The other werewolves had all gone into the forest to hunt, so Remus headed towards the front of the compound. He passed the shack that he had spent so many nights in and returned to the spot behind the tree where he had first arrived.

He looked around, making sure he was completely alone, and then he Disapparated.

The first thing he did upon arriving at number twelve, Grimmauld Place was run to the nearest bathroom. Greyback had told him not to wash off the blood, but he had to. The continued tang of it around his lips and the stickiness of it on his hands was making him crazy. He needed it off and he didn't give a damn about what Greyback thought.

Remus went to the sink, turned on the water, and grabbed the bar of soap. He spent nearly five minutes scrubbing his hands until they were raw. When he rinsed them, he started on his face, rinsing out his mouth and scouring at his cheeks and chin until there was no sign of the dried red blood left.

When he was done, Remus looked in the mirror for the first time in nearly a month. The only thing he seemed to notice was that his face was still bright red, no longer from the blood, but from scrubbing at it so hard. He really hated the color red.

He stared at himself for so long that he lost track of time, wondering how on earth he had even gotten involved him something so insane. Remus finally bowed his head, and that was when he noticed that the basin now held the remains of what he had scrubbed off. Pinkish trails of blood and water were swirling around the drain.

Before Remus even realized it, tears began dripping down his face. They pooled into the bottom of the sink, mixing with the blood and water already there. Just then, he heard a knock at the bathroom door which made him jump.

"Moony?" came Sirius's voice from the other side. "Is that you?"

Remus stared open-mouthed at the mirror. He wiped frantically at his face, not wanted Sirius to know he had been crying. Then again, he wasn't even entirely he wanted to see Sirius at all. Well, he did, and that's why he was there, but a part of Remus was embarrassed about what he had done last night, even though it was all a part of the plan.

"Yeah," Remus responded miserably. "It's me."

"Are…you okay?" Sirius asked next. "Can I come in?"

"Help yourself."

The door squeaked open and then Sirius stuck his head in. He looked normal (as normal as Sirius did anyway). He didn't look to be in pain or anything, which relieved Remus somewhat.

"I…didn't expect you be back again so soon," Sirius said awkwardly, coming further into the room. "Are you okay?" he asked again.

"No," Remus said truthfully. "I'm really not, but…" He broke off, not able to form the words. He took a deep breath and then gave Sirius the most apologetic look he could muster. "I believe I should be asking you that question."

Sirius blinked. "What, last night? I told you not to worry about it. It really wasn't a big deal, and I'm fine."

Before Remus could stop himself, he had crossed the room, pulling Sirius's collar open. He had to see, had to make sure that the bite was healing, that he hadn't somehow sentenced his best friend to the same fate he suffered.

Remus found the area where he had bitten Sirius, the area between his neck and left shoulder - the same place were Remus's own scar would remain forever. Sirius's shoulder, however, was clean and completely devoid of any sort of injury whatsoever.

Sirius pulled Remus's hand away. "I said I'm fine."

"I know," Remus breathed in relief, "but I…I had to see. No matter how confident Dumbledore was, a part of me was still terrified that it would scar. That you would be…"

"I'm not a werewolf, Moony," Sirius interrupted. "Madam Pomfrey was able to fix the bite and scratches in no time. Besides, if you had infected me, I doubt I'd be standing here talking to you. I'd be unconscious from the bite right now, wouldn't I?"

"Yes," Remus sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know, but…" He felt the tears welling up in his eyes again, but he tried to push them away. He turned away from Sirius, unable to hold his best friend's gaze any longer. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

"Moony, I told you," Sirius said, approaching him from behind, "I'm fine. Honestly. It really wasn't any worse than when we were at Hogwarts together, before you had the Wolfsbane." He didn't know if it would be welcome - it certainly hadn't been before - but he reached out and placed a hand on Remus's shoulder. When Remus didn't shake it off, Sirius added, "I told you I trust you. I did last night and I still do now. Nothing's changed, and you didn't hurt me. Not in the least. I knew you wouldn't and that's why I agreed to it. You have nothing to feel ashamed of."

Remus continued to stare down at floor. He still had a hard time even looking at Sirius, and he still did feel ashamed, even though Sirius had told him not to be.

"Moony, look at me."

It took Remus nearly another minute before he could raise his eyes to his best friend. When he saw that Sirius was smiling, however, it did make him feel the tiniest bit better.

"Don't even worry about it," Sirius said. "I'm not made of glass, you know."

That caused a smile to spread across Remus lips. Sirius had always said the same thing when they were at Hogwarts, especially after particularly nasty transformations. "I know you're not."

"So…you're not dead," Sirius said.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Brilliant observation, Padfoot."

"No," Sirius said, "I mean…it worked then? Greyback fell for it? You said he probably would have killed you if he thought it a farce."

"Yeah," Remus replied, nodding. "He fell for it. Pretty hard. He made me a delta, in fact." When he received a confused look from Sirius, Remus explained, "Two ranks above what I was when I arrived. That's a good thing. It means he trusts me."

Sirius looked mischievously happy. "I take back what I said. He truly is an idiot, isn't he?"

"You have no idea." Remus let out a quiet laugh before he turned serious once again. "What about Mr. and Mrs. Farris? I couldn't bear to stick around and watch last night, and I was a bit worried that Greyback or the other werewolves would do something crazy…"

"They're fine," Sirius said reassuringly. He paused and then said, "Actually, maybe you should see for yourself." He suddenly grabbed Remus's hand and began dragging him towards the door.

"Wait, what?" Remus asked, frantically trying to loosen Sirius's grasp on his hand. "I'm a mess - I can't possibly go meeting people."

Sirius stopped and looked at Remus again. "Under the circumstances, I doubt very much that they'll mind."

"What circumstances?" Remus asked, continuing to try and pry Sirius's fingers off. Without waiting for an answer, he said, "Padfoot, I'm in no condition…"

"I told you they won't care," Sirius said. "Trust me." He gave Remus a firm look before continuing to drag his best friend out into the hallway. Remus followed him down the steps, albeit grudgingly, not sure he wanted to look these people in the eye at all.

"Er…where are they? Hogwarts?" Remus asked. He certainly didn't want to go to a public place to meet them either.

"Nope, they're here."

"What?"

"Dumbledore needed a safe location to bring Justin last night," Sirius explained as they continued down the stairs. "He was going to take them to Hogwarts at first, but then he thought that a Secret-Kept house would be safer. He didn't have time to find another place on such short notice, so he settled on here. It's only for a few days until he can find them a more permanent place."

Remus felt even more awkward. If he had known they were there, he didn't think he would have come at all; if he felt embarrassed around Sirius, he knew it was nothing compared to what he would feel in front of the Farris family.

Sirius, however, didn't seem the last bit concerned. He didn't stop until they reached the kitchen where Mr. and Mrs. Farris and Justin were all seated around the table. When Sirius and Remus entered, the family looked up, curious as to who was there.

Remus recognized Justin and his mother immediately - their faces from the night before would forever be burned into his memory. They both had brown hair and blue eyes. Mr. Farris was the only one who looked remarkably different; he had blond hair and green eyes.

"I didn't know you guys would get to meet so soon," Sirius said. "I wasn't expecting Remus to come by at all today, but…he did." He gestured to Remus and said, "Remus Lupin." He pointed at the others and said, "The Farris family - Robert, Ava, and Justin."

Remus only looked at them for a few moments before he directed his eyes at the floor. He felt more awkward than ever, and he really wished that Sirius hadn't dragged him down here. Maybe once this was all over, it would have been better, but Remus could only imagine what he must have looked like in that moment.

A long silence consumed the room, but then it was broken by one of the chairs sliding across the stone floor. Remus heard footsteps approaching, but he still didn't dare look up…but then he didn't need to. Justin, the little boy, had come right into his field of vision, smiling up at him. It was such a stark contrast to the expressions on his face the night before that Remus had a hard time processing it.

"Are you the man that saved me from becoming a werewolf?" Justin asked.

Remus opened his mouth, not to respond, but in surprise. He didn't know what he had been expecting to hear, but it certainly wasn't that. He looked up at Ava and Robert, then to Sirius again. "I…er, I guess I am," he finally managed to get out.

Justin smiled. "Thank you."

Remus felt his cheeks growing warm. "You don't need to thank me."

Ava stood up from the table next, coming over to them. "Mr. Lupin…"

"Remus, please," Remus corrected.

"Remus," Ava repeated, stopping just behind her son and placing her hands on his shoulders. "We do need to thank you. Sirius and Albus explained to us what would have happened if not for you…that Greyback was planning on biting our boy…on turning him into a werewolf."

"Mr. Lupin…" Robert began next, standing up from the table as well. "I mean Remus," he corrected himself as he crossed the room. "You think we're afraid by…what happened last night…by what we saw. But we're not. We're just grateful to you for protecting our little boy, and thanks to you and Sirius, Greyback will never know the difference.

"Greyback is," Robert continued, "a vile creature. Of course, it was saying things like to him in the first place that got us into this position, but he is. He thought that, maybe, making Justin a werewolf would make us understand it, but…I think you've done more to help us understand it than he ever could. You showed us that not all werewolves are bad, certainly not like Greyback. If that's the way he's treated, he has no one to blame but himself for that." He paused and ran a hand through his blond hair. "I'll admit that I did used to think that all werewolves were like him, but you've proven that there are some of you who aren't. Thank you for showing me that I was wrong." He put out his hand for Remus, which the werewolf took.

"You still don't need to thank me," Remus said quietly. Before he even thought about what he was saying, he began, "I did what any…" He broke off, because he couldn't even say that, could he? He didn't do what anyone else would have done, and certainly not Greyback. Greyback himself had just proven that.

"My point exactly," Robert said. "Not just anyone else would have done what you did. Greyback would have bitten him just because we were ignorant. And I don't know you, but what from I've heard, I doubt you would have bitten him for any reason."

Remus closed his eyes, feeling caught, somehow, by their praise. He wasn't really one to be made a fuss over like this, because it made him uncomfortable, but on the other hand, he didn't entirely mind. "No, sir. I wouldn't have."

"We know it hasn't been an easy month for you," Robert added, "but if nothing else comes out of this, please know that we are grateful for what you've done. If nothing else, be proud of yourself for that."

Remus knew they spoke the truth, but they didn't really understand everything he had to do to keep up this act. Perhaps if they knew the whole story, they would feel differently, because Remus did; he truly wondered if he could ever feel proud of himself ever again.

To be continued...