Love Sees More 3: Greyback's Pack

Chapter 9 - The Beta Wolf

Remus climbed the three small steps to the entrance of Fenrir Greyback's shack. The door was open, and the hulking alpha wolf was already inside. Remus hovered in the doorway and gripped the wooden frame tightly in his shaking fingers. His legs felt like they were full of jelly, and he was afraid for a moment that they wouldn't support him.

Greyback was standing in the middle of the shack, his back to Remus. Without even turning around, he ordered, "Come in and close the door behind you."

Remus threw one last look over his shoulder, desperately eyeing the woods beyond. If he made a run for it, he could make it to the trees and Disapparate before Greyback caught him. He could put this entire place behind him once and for all, but he didn't. He still felt like he had more to do here - more to learn for Dumbledore. Despite the fact that he had saved Justin from being turned, Remus would feel like his time here had been wasted if he left now. He didn't come here to save Justin, after all; he'd come for things that might help them in the war. If he left now, they wouldn't be any better off than they had been before he'd come, and that just wasn't good enough.

Steeling himself and taking a deep breath, Remus stepped over the threshold, pulling the door closed behind him. Greyback turned to face him, and his expression almost surprised Remus. He didn't look angry like Remus had been expecting; he looked almost interested.

Neither of them said anything, and the only thing Remus could hear was the harsh beating of his own heart. When Greyback finally began to approach him, his footsteps against the wooden floor almost seemed to emphasize that pounding which now seemed to have spread to the rest of his body.

Remus's hands were still shaking, and he clenched them tightly in an attempt to stop it. He didn't want Greyback to think he was weak or timid, even though it was probably obvious. Especially to Greyback. He could sense certain things easily. Or so he said.

Greyback's own hands were clasped behind his back as he looked over Remus carefully. That made Remus feel slightly better; if Greyback was going to beat him, Remus was pretty certain he'd look furious like he did all those times before he lost it with Talon. Not curious. Besides, wasn't Greyback one to act now and discuss the matter later? Or maybe Greyback was going to play with him a little bit first, like a cat going after a mouse. That was probably a good possibility, too.

"You look scared," Greyback observed.

"Yes, sir." Remus wished his voice didn't shake so much.

"Why?"

Remus had the urge to roll his eyes, but he didn't; he doubted Greyback would like that very much. Greyback didn't like a lot of things. Then he felt like telling Greyback that when a deranged, homicidal werewolf was angry at you and wanted to see you in private, then there were plenty of reasons to be scared! Instead, Remus said, "You're angry with me, sir. I don't like to upset you."

The tiniest smirk appeared on Greyback's lips, but then it was gone. "But you're still here."

So he was playing with him. Remus almost began to wish that Greyback would just get to the point; this cat and mouse game was nerve-wracking. "Yes, sir."

"Again, why?" Greyback asked, sounding genuinely curious. "You think I'm going to hurt you, correct? So why not - oh, I don't know - run and hide instead?"

His heart thumping erratically, Remus said, "Because you told me to come."

There was that smirk again, quickly playing across Greyback's dried and cracking lips before it flitted away once more. "You sound confused."

"You're my alpha wolf, sir. I'm supposed to obey you, even if I am afraid."

"Indeed," Greyback hummed, stepping away from Remus. He started pacing the shack, and Remus was grateful that Greyback was no longer hovering over him. When Greyback turned to face him again, he tilted his head. "Do you know how many of the others have done just that - run instead of facing me like a proper wolf would do?"

"No, sir."

"All of them. Every single last one of them," Greyback immediately replied. "Oh, they know better now, but when they were new to my pack, they all ran like cowards when they knew they were going to be disciplined. Even Talon and Canin when they first came here. They learned, of course, that that just makes things worse. That it just makes me angrier." He approached Remus again, this time looking very pleased. "But here you are. Facing me like a real wolf."

Remus felt more confused than ever. He really wasn't sure to make of this…praise. If Greyback was capable of such a thing. He just met Greyback's gaze, trying to pretend like he wasn't scared to death.

Greyback grinned - that wide, toothy smile that Remus had grown to hate. "You can relax, Remus," Greyback said. "I'm not angry with you, and I didn't call you in here to punish you."

Remus blinked. "Oh…" He had been about to ask why, but Greyback didn't like to be questioned, so he didn't say anything.

"Whoever said that I did?"

"No one," Remus said. "I just…you were angry outside. You said you were surprised at me. And when you wanted to see me in here privately, I just assumed…"

"Didn't you ever hear the expression that to assume makes an arse out of you and me?"

Remus contained a smirk. "Yes, sir."

"Being surprised at you isn't necessarily a bad thing. Quite the contrary. This time, it's actually a very good thing." When Remus looked even more confused than ever, Greyback started pacing back and forth in front of him and continued. "Remus, when you first came here, I'll admit I had my doubts. You've lived among wizards for far too long. They've tamed you. They've tried to turn you into a human when that couldn't be further from who you are. I had wondered, if after all this time, you might have forgotten what you really are." Greyback stopped pacing and stood just in front of Remus, facing him. "I was surprised, yes, when you decided to put Talon in his place just now. I didn't think you had it in you, but you've pleasantly proven me wrong." Greyback bared his yellow teeth in a maniacal grin. "Well done."

Remus felt ill, and not just because of Greyback's putrid breath. Remus had completely lost his temper with Talon, and he had physically laid his hands on him. That was something he never would have even contemplated before he'd come here. One month ago, the very idea would have sounded completely absurd to him, that he would physically hurt someone else with his bare hands just because he got angry. Just being there, just interacting with Greyback and the other werewolves, was clearly affecting Remus more than he'd expected, and that was exactly what Greyback wanted. He wanted followers that were more animal than man.

"You still look confused," Greyback hummed. He sounded pleased nonetheless.

"Well…" Remus forced himself to stop. He wasn't quite sure how to phrase his thoughts without sounding like he was questioning Greyback.

"Speak freely, please," Greyback said casually. He finally turned away from Remus and went to the back of the shack. He leaned back against the round and rickety wooden table, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'd very much love to hear what's going on in that mind of yours."

Remus eyed him closely for several seconds. He had almost been certain that the table would give out under the weight of the massive werewolf, but it didn't. Then, Remus wondered if Greyback had truly been serious about speaking freely. That certainly wasn't something that Greyback normally liked. Then again, Greyback had told him to do so, so Remus said, "I didn't think you'd like us…fighting among ourselves."

"Did I ever tell you you couldn't?"

"No."

Greyback held a hand up for a moment, as if to say that his point had just been proven. "If you didn't think I'd like it, why did you do it?"

Remus hung his head and closed his eyes in shame. "I couldn't help it. I lost control."

If Remus had been looking at Greyback, he would have been positively sickened by the twisted expression of pleasure that was on Greyback's face. "But you said Talon was out of line," Greyback said. "That he was being insubordinate to you. Correct?"

"Yes."

"There are a lot of rules that I didn't spell out for you, Remus, or for my other followers when they first came here. Sometimes I don't need to. The wolf's instinct doesn't need rules. It just knows without being told. Just like you knew that Talon, now being beneath you, isn't allowed to be insubordinate to his superiors, and your wolf knew exactly how to deal with that. I don't exactly deem that fighting, so you did nothing wrong."

It may not have been wrong in Greyback's eyes, but it was in Remus's. He wasn't even sure which would have been worse - upsetting Greyback and being punished for it, or going against his own principles. The latter, he supposed, which made Remus feel even worse.

"Now," Greyback went on, seemingly ignorant of Remus's own feelings, "what's this about you Apparating away from the compound?"

Remus swallowed hard. He had almost been hoping that Greyback had forgotten that tiny little detail. It had seemed like a brilliant idea at the time, but now he wasn't so sure he did the right thing in being honest about it. However, if Greyback was truly angry at him for it, wouldn't he have already punished him?

When Remus didn't say anything, Greyback asked, "Didn't I tell you that once you passed your test, you may go anywhere you pleased?"

"Yes, sir."

"This may surprise you, but I don't want this place to be like a prison, Remus," Greyback said quietly. "That's exactly what those filthy humans tried to do with these places when they were colonies - make them into prisons. Like we could ever truly be caged. I only keep any newcomers locked up for the safety of everyone else here."

For a very precarious moment, Remus thought he would laugh. The urge came over him so suddenly, and he only barely kept it in. Remus doubted very much that Greyback really cared about the safety of everyone else, considering he'd beat them to a pulp if he so wished. Greyback was surely only concerned about his own safety. No one else's.

Greyback considered Remus thoughtfully. "So why did you seem so afraid to admit to me that you did leave?"

"You mean aside from the fact that Talon made such a big deal out of it?"

Greyback rolled his eyes. "Talon's an arse, all right? I'm actually quite a bit embarrassed that he was ever my second-in-command. Now that he's an epsilon again, he's going to do everything in his power to try and discredit anyone he can. He's turning into a rat, running around, tattling on everyone for breathing wrong. God, how I hate that." He shook his head, seeming to realize that he had gotten off-topic. "So yes, aside from that."

Remus swallowed hard. "I just know you don't like magic, and I didn't think you'd exactly approve of me using it."

"But you did it anyway."

"I'm sorry, sir."

A very odd expression passed over Greyback's face. He looked vaguely amused with something, and his lips were twitching like he was trying to hide a grin. "You're right. I don't like magic. In fact, I despise it. You, however, were raised as a wizard. I didn't expect you to automatically stop using it just like that. As long as you don't do it in front of me, as long as you're not using it to otherwise defy me, and as long as you're not making a habit out of it. You aren't, are you?"

"No, sir," Remus lied.

"So where did you go?" Greyback demanded.

Remus looked down at his shoes and whispered, "To my best friend's house. Or who I always thought was my best friend."

"You said you came here because none of them trusted you anymore."

"Yes, sir."

Greyback narrowed his eyes. "So why would you go back there?" His voice had dropped considerably, almost to a growl. "To see if they'd take you back?"

Remus met Greyback's eyes immediately. "No, sir. Not at all. I never would have come here if I had the slightest doubts about leaving them behind. But as I said, I did consider this man to be my friend at one point. I know he doesn't trust me, but he isn't the reason I left, not primarily, and I had this crazy idea that he might actually be worried about me."

"And he wasn't?"

Remus laughed humorlessly. "He took one look at me, and I thought he was going to be sick to his stomach. He said he didn't care where I was or what I was doing, just as long as I didn't do it around him, because he was disgusted by the sight of me."

"He doesn't know you're here?"

Remus shook his head. "No. I didn't tell anyone. I just left, which is why I thought he might be concerned about what had happened to me."

"Hm," Greyback hummed, pushing himself away from the table and approaching Remus again. "That's a human emotion - worrying what your friends might think of you. I don't blame you, of course. As I've said, they've tamed you, and I expect it's going to take some time for you to let go of those bad habits." He placed a finger under Remus's chin, forcing Remus to meet his eyes. "You don't need them. Friends who only pretend to like you when you fit their mold? As soon as you start showing the real you, they want you out of their sight." He threw his head back and laughed loudly. "Those aren't friends, Remus. They may have pretended to be in the interest of having one more number on their side. That's exactly what you were to them - a number. One that is easily dispensable when you no longer act like they want you to. Anyone that treats you like that isn't a friend at all."

Remus had never wanted so badly to tell Greyback that he was wrong. Remus had left behind not only friends, but a family that he was much more than just a number to. For a moment, Remus felt terribly sorry for him, because that was something that Greyback would never know. "No, sir," Remus forced himself to reply instead, "they aren't."

Greyback nodded and released Remus's chin. He started walking around Remus in a circle, inhaling deeply, like he was smelling him again. Remus felt like a piece of meat, just waiting for Greyback to devour him, and perhaps that was exactly what he was.

"You're different," Greyback hummed as he appeared in Remus's line of vision again. "So different than anyone else who has ever been in my pack before." Greyback pressed a finger to the front of Remus's robes, trailing his yellowed fingernail along the dirty and torn fabric. Remus wanted nothing more than to squirm away from his touch, but he tried his best to remain still. Remus wondered just long he would be able to keep this up, because every time Greyback laid a finger on him, Remus had the insane urge to claw his own skin off.

Greyback leaned in so close to Remus, the stench was almost unbearable. "You came when I told you to," Greyback continued, "even though you were scared to death. I knew you were the moment you walked in - I could smell it on you. You wanted to turn and run like so many before you. You thought about it, didn't you? Turning and running?"

"Yes, sir," Remus bit out. He kept wishing that Greyback would give him some space; the close proximity to the alpha wolf was making his stomach turn and his skin crawl.

"But you knew better, didn't you?" Greyback asked. "Just like you knew not to lie to me. You didn't have to tell me that you Apparated, that you went to see that friend of yours. You could have very easily kept the entire thing from me. The only one that saw was Talon, and he's no longer trustworthy, so I never would have been the wiser. You were afraid of being honest, too. Afraid that I'd punish you for using magic or for sneaking off, but you came clean. Do you know how many of the others would have done that in your position?"

Despite the fact that Greyback was still too close, it was everything Remus could do to contain his smile. In that moment, he thought he just might have Greyback completely figured out - knew exactly what to say to charm the slimy wolf. "None of them, sir?" Remus asked complacently.

"Indeed." Greyback gestured towards the door of the shack. "They're all a bunch of self-serving bastards that would lie to me as soon as look at me if it meant making themselves look better. In fact, I know that they all have lied to me at one point or another. And then you stand here and confess to me about sneaking off of all things." Greyback threw his head back and laughed, a sound that grated on Remus's nerves. "You put them all to shame, quite frankly."

At long last, Greyback stepped back a bit, giving Remus some much needed space. He looked Remus up and down, as if appraising him before nodding. "I suppose you'll do."

Remus blinked. "Do for what, sir?"

Greyback laughed again, and this time, he sounded truly amused. "It's the furthest thing from your mind, isn't it? We've been in here, having a civil conversation for the better part of an hour, and you have no clue, do you?" He finally turned around and started pacing towards the other end of the shack, and Remus couldn't have been more relieved. "As I've said, you couldn't be more different than the rest of my followers."

Remus felt more confused than ever. He had absolutely no clue where this was going, or what Greyback could possibly be on about. The only thing that Remus was sure of was that Greyback liked to hear himself talk.

Greyback tilted his head, an almost devious expression appearing on his face that gave Remus the chills. "Everyone's going to think I've lost it, but let them. This, perhaps, will be a good test for all of them. They've been here such a long time, I think they've forgotten certain things. Like who is truly in charge here. But not you. This is still so new for you - I suspect you're trying your hardest to please me, which I think is exactly what I need." He stalked towards Remus, his head thrown back, looking down his nose at the younger werewolf. "I want you to be my new second-in-command."

Remus felt like the entire floor of the shack had dropped out from under him, but not necessarily in a bad way. Not exactly in a good way either. Did he honestly have Greyback wrapped that tightly around his finger already? A part of Remus said no, that there must be more to it than this, that it couldn't possibly be this easy.

"I can see it didn't even occur to you that that's why I invited you in here," Greyback said.

"No, sir. It didn't."

"Tell me what you're thinking."

"I…erm…" Just when Remus thought he had Greyback all figured out, Greyback did something to catch him completely off-guard. Remus's mind scrambled with the right way to respond. "I'm surprised," Remus slowly started off with. "Please don't think I'm questioning you in the least, because I'm not…"

"I told you when you came in that you may speak freely. Please continue."

"I thought you'd pick Canin."

Greyback chuckled, a sound that almost came out as a growl. "I'm sure that's what everyone thinks, but don't tell me you haven't noticed."

"Noticed what?"

"The way he follows Talon around everywhere," Greyback said, sounding disgusted, "like some sick little pup. He's been after the position since I can remember - and even worse since I picked Talon over him."

"How long has that been?"

Greyback looked up at the ceiling of the shack for a moment, appearing deep in thought. "Going on two years. Ever since then, he's pretended that he's Talon's very best friend. Canin thinks I don't know what he's really up to, but he underestimates me. He watches Talon's every move, copies him like he doesn't have a brain of his own, because he thought that would prime him for the position." Greyback paused, an intense look of disbelief present on his face. "Tell me, Remus. Is that the type of second-in-command you think I should have?"

Remus swallowed hard. "No, sir."

"No," Greyback agreed, "of course not. And when I think about it, they're all exactly the same. A bunch of suck-ups that would stop at nothing to win the position. Like it's some sort of trophy they'd be able to hold over everyone else's head."

As far as Remus was concerned, Greyback constantly held the fact that this was his pack over every single one of their heads. In fact, it occurred to Remus that Greyback might want him for his second-in-command for that very reason - just so he could prove that it was his pack, and he could do whatever the hell he pleased. Not for the first time, Remus realized how full of it Greyback really was.

"But you wouldn't do that, would you?" Greyback was watching him closely, almost like he might have known exactly what Remus was thinking.

Remus shook his head, unable to form the words at first. "No, sir," he finally got out.

"No," Greyback repeated, "I thought not. Which is exactly what I want you. I think you'll take it seriously - not use it as a status symbol. Of course, that also means that you'll need to assert yourself and put the others in their places if the need arises. If I'm ever away, you'd need to be able to take charge of the pack. Is that something you'd be able to do?"

"I…I don't know, sir." And Remus didn't. He had been hoping that what had happened with Talon was a one-time thing. He certainly wasn't prepared to make beating people up a regular occurrence, nor did he want to start doing such a thing on purpose. Then again, Remus hadn't found out much of anything yet that would help them in the war, and being Greyback's second-in-command could change that drastically.

Greyback leaned in closer, his lips almost touching the shell of Remus's ear. "Just like you did with Talon today," Greyback said simply, like it was no big deal to beat up someone else. "As I've said, your wolf will naturally know when it is appropriate to do so, and then all you have to do is put them in their places. Make them bleed." Greyback pulled away a bit, grinning once more. "Werewolves don't like that very much. It is in our nature to make others bleed, so nothing is more embarrassing for a werewolf than to have his own blood spilled."

Personally, Remus could think of at least a dozen things off the top of his head that were far more embarrassing than bleeding. This time, he failed to contain his smile at how little Greyback really knew.

Greyback, however, mistook his expression. "You like that idea, don't you? Taking your hands to them and making them bleed?"

Every time Greyback said those words, it made Remus want to shiver. The tone that Greyback used suggested that blood itself was some delectable food he couldn't quite resist. Much like that Death by Chocolate dessert that Remus had tried in a Muggle restaurant once.

"I don't know," Remus said again. He sighed. "This is still such a shock, and…I'm not sure I'm ready for..."

"I am," Greyback confidently cut him off. "This is all still very new to you, I know, but I wouldn't have asked you unless I was positive that you could do the job. I told you that I had my doubts when you first came, but in the short time that you've been here, you've proven yourself to me completely. Especially after today, I see that you are capable of handling things on your own. Of course, I won't force you to do it if you don't want to. That would just be asking you to disappoint me. Then again, I have a pretty good feeling that anyone else I pick will disappoint me, just as Talon has."

Remus hated being reminded of how far Talon had fallen. Technically, Talon had done absolutely nothing wrong; he had actually done everything right in suspecting Remus. Once Greyback eventually figured Remus out - and Remus was completely sure that he would - Remus was going to have a lot more to pay for than simply lying to Greyback. He had lost Greyback his second-in-command, one that Greyback would deem worthy once again when the truth came out.

Greyback clasped his hands behind his back and growled, which broke Remus out of his thoughts. "It's quite a sad day indeed," Greyback rumbled, "when I feel like my newest follower is the most capable of following in my footsteps."

Those words made Remus want to cringe. He didn't care what he ended up doing in the interest of keeping up his charade with Greyback; none of them would ever make him close to following in Greyback's footsteps.

"Remus?" Greyback asked after a moment of silence.

Realizing that Greyback was waiting for an answer, Remus's mind scrambled with his choices. At first, he had considered asking for some time to think about it, but Greyback's expression didn't suggest that he'd allow such a thing; he looked like he wanted an answer now.

When Remus really thought about it, however, he knew he couldn't say no. The chance of acquiring useful information was simply too great to pass up. It would require Remus to do things that made him immensely uncomfortable, but then again, this entire experience made him feel sick to his stomach. Would a few more things really be so bad?

Remus knew the real answer to that question, but before he could even begin to think about it, he nodded. Almost instantly, a wave of nausea flooded over him at the thought of everything that would entail, but he closed his eyes and fought it down. "Yes, sir," Remus tried to say as firmly as he could. He doubted that Greyback would accept it if he sounded scared or uncertain in any way. "I accept it."

That maniacal grin was back, seeming to split Greyback's face in two. Then just as quickly as it had come, it was gone, only to be replaced with a very serious expression. Greyback reached out and wrapped one clawed hand around Remus's throat, only tight enough to be uncomfortable. "Do keep in mind that this doesn't give you the right to abuse said position. You are allowed to discipline those beneath you, but only when they deserve it. If I find out you're beating others up just for the hell of it, I'll rip your throat out so fast you won't know what hit you. Understood?"

Greyback constantly beat everyone up just for the hell of it, so as usual, this was just another double standard for him. Not that Remus would want to do such things just because he could, but he still found it funny. Remus just nodded.

Greyback released Remus's throat, then immediately placed both his hands on Remus's shoulders. "Down," he ordered, forcing Remus to his knees.

Remus's heart pounded. Greyback had never wanted him on his knees before, not even when he'd first arrived. Even though it was much too late for such things, Remus wondered what he was getting himself into.

"This is just a formality," Greyback said casually, looking down his nose at Remus. "You have already proved your loyalty to me, and you're already well aware of what happens if you aren't loyal, but I like to do it this way anyway. Being my beta is much more important than simply joining my pack. It means that you're the second most powerful one here, but do keep in mind that I am still in charge of everything. Some of my betas have tended to forget that, and they let their power go to their heads. Like Talon. That's why you're down there - to remind you of your place. That you're still beneath me."

Without waiting for a response, Greyback leaned forward, his hands still in place on Remus's shoulders. He pressed down so hard, Remus's knees dug painfully into the wooden floor. "Now," Greyback said, "as my beta, a time may come when I might order you to do something that you may find uncomfortable or wrong. I don't care even if you do. If I order you to do something, you do it. No questions asked. Failure to comply will most likely result in your immediate and untimely death, because I do not take no for an answer. Especially not from my beta. But as I've already told you, if you are absolutely loyal to me, and you are ready to make such a commitment, you have nothing to fear. Am I clear?"

Even though Remus was terrified of what else Greyback could possibly expect from him, Remus forced himself to answer immediately. He didn't think that any hesitation on his part would look very good, so he said, "Yes, sir." He knew he was getting himself into something horrible that he might not be able to get himself out of. He just knew it, but he supposed that he would deal with that when the time came, just like he had dealt with his entire time here thus far.

"Wonderful," Greyback said cheerily, releasing his hold on Remus. "It's almost lunchtime, so I'll see you in the mess hall in a few minutes. I'm rather excited to see everyone else's expression when they find out. Especially Talon. He was so certain he had gotten you in trouble, and now…" Greyback growled with delight. "Should be rather amusing, hm?"

Greyback stepped around him and opened the door. Remus remained in his position, but he heard the door slam closed behind him. When he was certain he was alone, Remus bent his knees until his backside was resting on his heels. He remained in that position for a very long time.

A horrible sense of dread had settled into his stomach, coupled with the fear that Greyback would expect him to do something even worse than to turn a little boy. And the next time, it wouldn't even be a test; it would be a direct order that Greyback would expect his second-in-command to carry out without question.

Remus knew he needed to do this, whatever else Greyback expected of him. If Remus could obtain some sort of truly useful information for Dumbledore, then it would be worth it. Or so he kept telling himself. But when he really thought about, would any information be worth the price of his humanity? Because he was almost certain that that was something he might lose the longer he kept this up. In fact, he could already sense it, barely hanging on by a thread, and it scared him that the next time he lost his temper, that thread might just snap.

To be continued...