Love Sees More 3: Greyback's Pack

Chapter 12 - The Trail of Blood

As much as Remus wished he could hide in the woods forever, he knew he couldn't. He had already taken a risk by running away in the first place. Surely, it wasn't appropriate for Greyback's second-in-command to disappear into the woods when the alpha wolf decided to kill a member of the pack. Especially when Remus had been the one to suggest it.

What if Greyback took it as a sign that he was weak? What if Greyback decided that Remus really wasn't suited to this position, especially if he couldn't even watch those beneath him being punished? After all, it might only be a matter of time before Greyback ordered Remus to do something similar himself. Remus would deal with that when the time came, but if he couldn't even watch such a thing, clearly he wouldn't be able to do it, either.

Remus suspected he might have some fast talking to do once he went back, but he clung to the hope that Greyback would still be too distracted to care. Althea had said that he was too wrapped up in his "meal" to even notice that Remus had gone, so maybe that would hold true.

Remus finally got to his feet, his legs shaky underneath him. He pressed the palm of one hand against a tree and took some deep breaths, hoping to steady himself. He pressed his other hand over his eyes and rubbed them harshly, almost like that would help him to wake up from this hellhole. When he pulled his hand away, he saw Althea not far from him, still sitting crossed-legged on the ground. She was looking up at him curiously.

"I should get back," Remus sighed. "Greyback's probably wondering where I am."

Althea opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but then thought better of it. She closed her mouth and simply nodded. Remus wasn't sure if he was imagining it or not, but he thought he caught the slightest trace of disappointment on her face, almost like she had been expecting him to leave the pack behind instead. Truth be told, Remus couldn't blame her in the least if that was what she was feeling; he wasn't feeling very proud himself at the moment, either.

He felt like he was betraying everything he had ever promised himself, sacrificing everything he had ever held important. Except for his loyalty to Dumbledore, of course, and he wished he didn't feel so bitter about that. After all, Dumbledore had given him every opportunity to say no, and he hadn't.

Once again, Remus thought back to his last conversation with Sirius, when his best friend had accused him of letting Dumbledore's trust in him cloud his judgment. After all, not very many people had ever trusted Remus, so when someone did, a tiny part of him wanted to go out of his way to prove that that trust wasn't misplaced. If that meant putting himself into some rather insane situations, then so be it. Remus had known then that Sirius had a point, and he knew it now.

Remus shook his head and tried to push those thoughts from his mind. It wouldn't do him any good to go over and over his reasons for still being here, or to try and analyze the ones responsible for him being here at all.

Remus hesitated for a very long time, giving Althea a pleading look. He desperately wished that she would say something. Anything to delay his return to the compound and Greyback. Perhaps even something to change his mind, to try and talk him out of staying there. But if that was a decision he was so determined to avoid, what made him think that anything Althea could say would change his mind? Sirius had always accused him of being as stubborn as a mule, and here he was, proving exactly that.

Leaving Althea alone and feeling a bit disappointed about it, Remus slowly made his way back towards the compound. He kept going over and over Greyback's possible reactions to him running off, and working out all of the possible answers he could give. None of them seemed very convincing to his own mind, let alone to Greyback, so then Remus resorted to silently praying that Greyback would still be too caught up in "other things" to care.

Remus returned to the spot where he had last seen Greyback and Talon, just around the rear of the cave. At first he didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but then when he came around the last few clumps of bushes that gave way to the clearing, it came into view. Talon's remains.

There wasn't much left at all of the once proud werewolf. Pools of blood spread across the forest floor, turning the bright green into a crimson color. More blood had been splattered across the wall of the cave and along some of the nearby tree trunks. Only the sad remnants of Talon's tattered clothes, torn to shreds and littered across the area, gave any sign that there had ever been a person there at all. Indeed, when Greyback decided to eat something, he didn't leave anything behind; he clearly didn't believe in wasting "food".

Unable to stare at the scene any longer, Remus turned away, but that proved to be a mistake. On the other side of the clearing sat one of Talon's shoes, somehow perfectly intact and upright on the grass, unlike the rest of his clothes. Just peeking out of the opening in the shoe, Remus could just make out something - the biggest piece of Talon that Greyback had probably left behind.

Remus knew without a doubt that he would never forget that image. Knew that he would lie awake at night for years to come and see the contents of that shoe, like someone had indelibly pasted a picture of it in his brain. His eyes burned at the thought, and he felt nothing but revulsion at himself for allowing such a thing to happen in his presence. For allowing a man, however horrible, to be killed, all for the purposes of keeping up with a silly charade. For pretending like he even remotely belonged here when that couldn't be further from the truth.

Perhaps that was the very first time that Remus realized what a fool he'd been for agreeing to come here at all. For thinking that he could remain here for a little while and return home like nothing had happened. This entire experience was changing him forever, he couldn't deny that any longer, and he could never go back to the person he'd been before. He really hated the thought of that - almost like there would be a piece of his place with him for the rest of his life.

In his entire time there, Remus had never wanted to go home as badly as he did right then. Since he'd been there, a strengthening ache had slowly developed somewhere inside him, one that Remus now knew was homesickness. He'd felt the very same thing twenty-five years before when he'd started Hogwarts, and that ache had lasted until he knew that he was sharing his dorm with three boys that had become his best friends.

Only one of those friends remained, and Remus missed that mangy mutt more than he could ever possibly put into words. Remus had just seen him - had it only been that morning? So much had happened since then, it already felt like it had been ages, and Remus was desperately longing for another visit. He knew, however, that that was completely out of the question. Remus had gotten very lucky so far, and he couldn't constantly keep running home every time he felt like it. Sooner or later, it would become a huge red flag for Greyback, which Remus couldn't risk.

Remus briefly wondered where Greyback had gotten to, but another look around the area answered that. A trail of blood led into woods straight ahead from where Remus was standing, painting the way directly to the alpha wolf. Putting it off wouldn't make it any easier, so Remus steeled himself and quickly crossed the clearing. He followed the bloody trail, trying to tell himself that it wasn't really blood, but perhaps just some crimson paint that someone had spilled.

Remus was again reminded of how much hated the color red.

A small distance into the woods, Greyback sat on the ground with his back against a tree. He had one hand over his stomach like he had just eaten a very large, very tasty meal. He was using the long and yellowed nails of his other hand to pick at his teeth, like he always had a habit of doing after eating. Blood was smeared all over his hands, mouth, and down the front of his clothes. True to what Althea had said, Greyback didn't seem the least bit concerned with where Remus was, or anyone else in the world for that matter. In fact, the alpha wolf seemed positively content.

Remus's stomach churned uncomfortably at the sight, but he tried his hardest to push the sensation away. It didn't seem like Greyback had spotted him yet, but it wouldn't do for Remus to be running off into the woods again. Nor would it be appropriate for Remus to be physically sick at what Greyback deemed only natural for them.

A moment later, Greyback sniffed at the air and immediately turned to look at Remus. It was very off-putting to say the least, to know that Greyback could tell that someone was nearby simply from the smell. Greyback still didn't seem to care what Remus was doing, which was a very good thing. He continued to pick at his teeth leisurely, watching Remus like he was some sort of fascinating creature to be studied. It made Remus shiver to be regarded in such a way.

"Remus," Greyback finally said around a yawn. He already seemed bored of the conversation. "Where did you run off to?"

Remus hoped against hope that that was simply a figure of speech, and that Greyback hadn't actually seen him run off. "Nowhere," Remus said nonchalantly. "I just thought you'd want to enjoy your meal in peace." Remus suppressed the frown that threatened to spread across his face at the way he had just described the last moments of Talon's life.

Greyback licked his lips at the words, looking impossibly hungry for more. "You could have helped yourself, you know. I like to share. Sometimes."

Remus had no idea how to respond to that, so he didn't say anything, trying to act like he didn't want to be sick.

Greyback got to his feet then, stretching and yawning some more. After such a big meal, Remus imagined he could probably do with a nap. "Oh, that's right," Greyback said tiredly. "You don't eat meat, do you?"

"I…not that fresh." Remus really didn't like this conversation. Given, he had been expecting far worse, but this wasn't exactly welcome, either.

"You're used to cooked food, I know." He approached Remus, still licking his lips, seeming to savor every last drop of the blood that remained behind. "I believe I've told you before that I don't want this place to be like a prison. That's exactly what those humans tried to make this place into at one time - locking us into tiny little cells, and starving us so that we were forced to eat whatever the hell they bothered to give us if we wanted to survive. If I tried to dictate what you could and could not eat, I wouldn't be much better than they are, now would I?"

Remus thought it was rather ironic for Greyback to be talking about being better than anyone. Greyback probably didn't even realize that he'd picked up a lot of his behaviors from those who ran the colonies, and as a result, he was more like them than he'd ever admit. Not to mention, those who ran werewolf colonies weren't exactly upstanding citizens, but at least they didn't eat people.

"If you want to eat berries and nuts for now," Greyback went on without waiting for a response, "help yourself. I understand that you're not comfortable yet with the thought of preying on people or your fellow werewolves. You lived among those humans for so long…you've allowed them to tame you. They've forced you into a mold, forced you to eat their food. It's only what you're used to, so I can't blame you for that."

Greyback looked him up and down in that penetrating way that made Remus feel like his entire soul was being exposed. He reached up a hand and ran one blood-encrusted fingernail under Remus's chin. "Give it some time," Greyback purred. "I never would have made you my beta wolf unless I thought you were absolutely capable of filling that role. I'm not the least bit disappointed in anything you've done thus far, but I know it will take some time until you let go of some of those human habits. Until you truly embrace your wolf. But it will happen. Of that I'm sure."

Remus knew that this whole experience was changing him. He'd finally admitted it to himself that he'd never be the same person he'd been before, but there was one thing he knew. He would never, ever be anything even remotely close to Greyback, and he'd never let his wolf take him over completely. Of that he was sure.

Greyback had turned away from Remus and was starting to make his way through the forest. Remus hesitated for a moment, not sure if he was meant to follow or not. In the end, it didn't seem like their conversation was the least bit over. Besides, wasn't that a second-in-command's job, to follow his superior around? If he was expected to follow and he didn't, that very well might upset Greyback, so Remus decided that he couldn't go wrong with sticking to his alpha. He quickly made his way through the brush, rushing to keep up.

Greyback headed back towards the center of the compound where his shack was located. He stopped along the way, leaning against a tree and watching a small group of the epsilons (Althea included) that had gathered some distance away. They only looked to be chatting casually, but Greyback seemed very interested in them nonetheless.

Remus came up behind Greyback. The epsilons were a bit too far away for Remus to hear anything they were saying, but he wondered if Greyback could. His senses were obviously sharper than Remus's could ever be, and he sensed things that no one else could.

After a while, Greyback looked back over his shoulder at Remus. "Just checking," he explained. "Talon got some of them to be right little upstarts recently, but I think I've put a stop to that. They seem very concerned with this recent turn of events, and none of them sound very keen on causing anymore problems." Greyback grinned. "They know not to question me anymore, because it will only land them in hot water."

Greyback kept on walking back towards the center of the compound, leaving Remus to marvel at the fact that Greyback had heard the other werewolves so clearly from this distance. Or maybe he hadn't heard them at all. Perhaps Greyback sensed things from their body language or even their smell. Either way, it made Remus wonder if he was truly fooling Greyback as much as he thought he was.

Remus knew he should be following Greyback, but he stood rooted to his spot a little bit longer, watching the group of epsilons. Just then, Althea looked up and their eyes connected for a long time. As long as Remus dared, because it was now clear that Greyback expected him to come along. Remus finally broke their gaze, and once again rushed to catch up with the alpha wolf.

When Remus was close enough, Greyback began talking again. "Speaking of the epsilons, why do you hang around with that one blonde so much? What's her name?"

"Althea," Remus said. He was sure that Greyback knew very well what her name was. After all, he had called her by name just that morning, but he was apparently trying to play her off as insignificant and forgettable. "And I don't hang around with her. She follows me around."

"Not following you now, is she?" Greyback asked. "I wonder if you now being my beta wolf scares her." He stopped walking and turned around to face Remus again. "She's beneath you, Remus. So far beneath you it's not even funny."

Remus was a bit caught off guard with this new line of questioning. Did Greyback expect him to stop associating with the epsilons, except when necessary? Remus certainly didn't want to do that. After all, that would just be another step closer to being like Greyback - cutting off contact with those who were inferior.

"I don't care if you do associate with her," Greyback said, answering Remus's unspoken questions. "We've been over this," he said a bit tiredly. "I don't make rules like that. You're more than free to talk to whichever pack members you see fit. When will you realize that?"

It was possibly the first time Greyback had ever sounded the least bit annoyed with Remus, so he quickly bowed his head. "I'm sorry, sir. I wasn't questioning you. I'm just not used to this." Remus was abhorred at what he was about to say, but he forced himself to go on before he could lose his nerve. "Those humans had so many rules for how I was supposed to behave. It surprises me that I'm free to do whatever I wish here. Within reason."

"Indeed," Greyback hummed. "I think those humans would be downright shocked that I'm not as bad as they make me out to be." He smiled to himself like he had made a joke, then turned his head to look back towards the epsilons. "I just brought it up, because you're so different from Talon. Once he made it up a couple of ranks, anyone beneath him was automatically off limits, unless he needed to discipline them." When he looked at Remus again, he asked, "But you don't mind talking to anyone, do you?"

"No," Remus replied truthfully. "I was a zeta not long ago, and Althea talked to me then. Why should she no longer be fit company just because I've moved up a few ranks?"

"Far more than a few, Remus," Greyback reminded him around a grin. "It may surprise you, but that gives me confidence in you. Talon's problem was that he let his seniority go to his head. He got it in his mind that he could do no wrong, so he started acting out in every way possible. As I've said, you're obviously very different, so I don't expect to have that problem with you."

"I hope not, sir. I don't want to disappoint you." Remus looked towards the epsilons as well, hoping that Greyback didn't catch the disgust that he was sure was present on his face at telling such lies. He saw Althea again, and the idea came to him so quickly, it was almost overwhelming. Remus knew that Althea was feeling a little bit leery of him, especially since the latest events with Talon. Remus was sure she couldn't care less whether she was any higher in the pack or not, but if Remus could get her a promotion, something she hadn't been able to achieve on her own, perhaps it would help persuade her to trust him a little more. He only hoped he wouldn't be overstepping his bounds.

"Sir?" Remus asked tentatively. "Permission to speak freely?"

"Knock yourself out. You're well past the point of having to censor yourself around me."

"Althea's been here a long time," Remus explained. "Two years, she told me, and she's still an epsilon."

"The other epsilons have been here even longer than that," Greyback replied. "I don't promote them just for being here and quietly following the rules. For that, they get to stay. Nothing more. I promote them when they do something that makes them stand out, something that proves their undying loyalty to me." He tilted his head towards Remus. "Such as you. I promoted you, because you never fail to stand and face me, even when you are terrified that you've done something wrong. That's something not a single one of the other werewolves here can claim. Just you, and I thought you should be rewarded for it."

Remus ducked his head again in a sign of submission, which Greyback usually liked to see after he gave a compliment. "Well…Althea did. To me, at least." He raised his gaze then, looking Greyback straight in the eye. "When I first came here…she took me under her wing. Explained some of the things that I wasn't sure about. She helped me adjust, I guess, faster than I would have done otherwise."

"Is that so?" Greyback asked, sounding a bit skeptical. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking down his nose at Remus. "What are you saying? That I should promote her?"

Remus wondered if he really was treading on thin ice. It was difficult to read Greyback, because his moods seemed to shift so quickly sometimes. "No. It's not my place to tell you what to do, sir. I just thought I'd let you know that she helped me."

Greyback seemed to consider this, stepping closer to Remus until they were mere inches apart. "Do you think she had any part at all in getting you where you are right now?"

Remus thought he knew exactly what had gotten him into his position as Greyback's second-in-command. It was Remus's submissive yet brave nature that Greyback liked so much, and that would be true with or without Althea in the picture. Greyback, however, didn't need to know that. "I don't know," Remus lied, shrugging. "I suppose she could have."

Silence fell for a while, during which Greyback seemed to be going over his options very carefully. He even looked Remus over even more closely than before and spent some sniffing the air, as if those things would tell him whether or not Remus was lying. Greyback did have keen senses, but the more time that went on, the more Remus became convinced that they were nothing more than - sharp senses. He liked to pretend that he could smell things like lies and deceit on people, but surely he would have killed Remus by now if that were the case. Remus was positive by now that it was just one of the things that Greyback used to make himself appear even more threatening than he already did.

"If she was the least bit responsible for giving me such a promising beta, perhaps she does deserve a promotion," Greyback replied quietly. "I'll think about it."

Suddenly, Greyback turned on his heel again, and Remus finally realized that they were, in fact, heading back in the directions of Greyback's shack. Remus hurried to catch up again, swallowing hard. That only meant that Greyback wanted to discuss something with him that no one else would overhear. He followed the hulking wolf through the underbrush, wondering what on earth Greyback could possibly want to talk about now.

When they returned to the shack, Remus ascended the small wooden steps after Greyback, closing the door behind him. It was getting on towards dinner, and the sun had already started to set, leaving the interior of the shack rather dim. Just the way Greyback liked it.

If Remus wasn't imagining things, he thought he could make out the faintest smirk on Greyback's face. He looked oddly amused with something, and that made Remus distinctly uneasy. He shifted on his feet.

"You please me, Remus," Greyback finally said. "I didn't order you to follow me, yet here you are."

"Er…I didn't think our conversation was over," Remus responded. "If you didn't want me around, I figured you'd tell me to get lost."

Greyback's ugly, toothy grin was back, his sharp and yellowed fangs gleaming in the darkness. "Indeed." He laughed, a sound that came out more like a growl than anything. "Again I have to say how different from Talon you are. If I had left him in the woods, he couldn't be bothered to follow me. Not unless I ordered him to, in which case, he didn't disobey. Not back then. But sometimes I had to remind him - give him orders for things that should have been common sense already." Greyback crossed the shack, growing closer to Remus until they were a minute distance apart. When Greyback spoke again, his voice was raised. "I had to remind him of his job here! That as my second-in-command, his priority was to serve me! Not himself. He forgot that sometimes. But not you. You'll never forget that, will you?"

Remus had been a little taken aback by Greyback's shouting. For a precarious moment there, Remus had almost begun to think that Greyback was angry at him for some reason, but apparently it was just some long held in anger for Talon. Then again, Remus wished that Greyback would stop comparing him to Talon already. It only served to make Remus feel worse, reminding him of what he had allowed to happen to the previous beta. Remus looked Greyback straight in the eye and shook his head. "No, sir."

"No," Greyback repeated. "I know you won't. You're a good pup."

He turned away again, for which Remus was thankful for, because this time, he failed to suppress the shiver that ran through him. He hated being praised in such a way by Greyback. In fact, it almost made Remus want to shout about how he'd never truly be loyal to Greyback.

Greyback stalked to the small wooden table near the back of the shack. He leaned against it, which always made Remus think that the small rickety structure would give out under the weight of the stocky werewolf, but it never did.

"I'm sure you recognized the visitor I had today," Greyback said after a while.

Remus considered denying this, but then he reminded himself that he should be telling as few lies as possible. He had no doubt that they would catch up to him someday, so the fewer he told, the better. Remus nodded once. "Amycus Carrow. A Death Eater."

"Yes." Greyback didn't say anything further right away, but he seemed to be watching Remus carefully, trying to gauge his feelings. After a while, he went on. "How would you feel about accompanying me on…a job with the rest of the Death Eaters?" Before Remus could even think about his response, Greyback added, "I know you've only just denounced your loyalty to Dumbledore, but I think this might be a good way for you to announce your switch to everyone. To show them all - and me - who are you really are loyal to now."

Of course Remus wouldn't say no, but he didn't want to seem too eager, so he pretended to mull over his decision for a while. Even though the prospect of going anywhere with Greyback and the rest of the Death Eaters scared him senseless, Remus knew that he might inevitably have the chance to save someone from a horrible fate. He couldn't pass that up. That was even a part of the reason he was here at all - to do whatever possible to help their side. "I'm honored, sir," Remus said quietly, lying through his teeth, "that you think I'm ready for such a responsibility."

"I never would have made you my second-in-command if I thought otherwise," Greyback replied. "So that's a yes?"

"Of course, sir," Remus firmly. "Whatever you wish of me."

"Wonderful," Greyback hummed. "After this, all those wolves will realize once and for all that I made the right decision in making you my beta. You won't have them whispering behind your back anymore." Greyback started to pick at some of the dried blood on his fingernails. "Although I'm sure the rest of the wizarding world will be whispering. They'll be so distraught that they trusted you for so long. You won't mind that, will you?"

"No, sir," Remus bit out, although Greyback's words were making him more uncomfortable by the minute. "In fact, I'd like very much to see the expression on Dumbledore's face when he realizes where my loyalties now lie."

"Maybe not Dumbledore," Greyback said conversationally, "but we'll definitely see the expression on someone's face." He laughed again, that sound that was beginning to grate on Remus's nerves. "Yes, it should be good fun." Greyback pushed away from the table and approached Remus once more. "I'm not quite sure when that will be yet, but soon. And when the time does come…make me proud, Remus."

"I plan to, sir."

"I know you will. I can't wait." Greyback gave him one last gruesome grin before turning on his heel and heading for the door, leaving Remus alone in the ever-darkening shack.

He closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath he didn't know he had been holding, rubbing a shaking hand over his face. It was getting ever harder to keep up with this charade, to pretend that he was unfailingly loyal to Greyback when that couldn't be further from the truth. Sometimes, Remus barely stopped the urge to scream about how he was loyal to Dumbledore, that he would always be loyal to Dumbledore, and that Greyback was a giant fool for ever thinking otherwise. He obviously didn't know Remus as well as he thought he did.

Or perhaps he did, because sometimes Remus got the distinct feeling that Greyback knew exactly what was going on. That he was playing Remus just as much as Remus thought he was playing Greyback. Maybe it was just in Greyback's demeanor, the way he always tried to act like a know-it-all. But if that was the case, why did Remus feel like he was being tested all over again?

To be continued…