Don't Let her know
Frozen Fanfiction
By W.A. Astor
Warning: F/F, Incest
Chapter 2: I Always Know
She always knows.
Well, it was not like she was blind or anything, right?
Despite all her regal gracefulness, Elsa's eyes always dutifully reflected all her thoughts. Her dear "sister" thought she had mastered the mask of nonchalance, the arts of concealing all emotions. Never once did Elsa entertain the prospect that Anna was a reader.
Years after years she had spent alone, talking to paintings and books, living in her own little fantasy also resulted in greater observation skills.
She knew how to read people.
Hans… That man was an exception though… she couldn't really read him at all. So, she let her heart be the judge of his characters, gave him benefits of a doubt. She decided to judge him by his actions and words. He knew exactly how to make her feel related, how to… manipulate her into thinking that they were 'alike'…not to mention that herself at the time desperately needed to feel 'wanted'
Needed to feel wanted by someone who would not be afraid of her status. She needed a person who just did not care, a person who saw her as Anna, just Anna.
Well, Hans was a prince himself, so that solved the problem.
Still, his existence brought about a new set of problems though.
When she was a child, she used to think that Elsa would let her in after their parents passed away. There were only the two of them left after all.
She was wrong. Nothing changed. That door remained shut.
She literally saw her so-called sister thrice a year. One on the annual day of mourning… in remembrance of their parent's memory. One her own birthday. One on a new year.
Elsa's eyes held all the pains in the world and something she did not really know what it was…. not at the time…. She did not have time to analyze anyway as it was merely seconds before Elsa averted her eyes, refused to meet her gaze. Elsa always politely said "Happy birthday, Anna" and handed out some kind of embroidery works. She remember most of them being intricate, beautiful patterns of detailed snowflakes…
But the present she received was not her sister.
Beautiful, probably well-thought gift did not make up for the absence.
She wanted a breathing companion… had been longing for it…since forever
Being a princess certainly did not help. People gave her smiles, waved at her, spoke to her politely… that's it. Being her clumsy self, she couldn't really remember how many time she tripped over a fruit basket or ran into someone.
The damaged party was about to angrily shout out or bitterly complain, however all those negative remarks hanging on their tongues vanished into thin air when they saw her face.
After all, she was the princess of Arendelle.
Nobody dared.
Afterward, just her royal apology would suffice though, in fact, yet Anna was a better person than that. She compensated them for their loss. They appreciated her kind gestures…and that's it.
End of the story.
The paintings were not talkative company, no matter how hard she tried persuading them. She then settled for people watching instead.
She started to notice how some people did not meet her gaze, how their pupils move up and stayed there when they try to conceal something from her. She knew their good intention of keeping the little princess from becoming an overweight girl as a result of chocolate consumption overload. She always knew when her lady-in-waiting lied to her about not knowing where her secret stash had gone.
She noticed the hollow look in Han's eyes but discarded her doubt, being so happy to finally be wanted by someone… for the first time in forever.
She noticed how Kristoff's eyes reflected how annoyed he was with her being a pampered princess who was stupid enough to go up to the mountains during a raging snowstorm in an evening gown. She noticed how that annoyance had turned into astonishment, and later respect… and less than platonic thought after that.
How did she know?
Well, it was not like she had much to do in her free time, being the 'second' princess and all that. Her workloads were much lighter than her elder sister. Their royal relatives in Corona once sent them a chest filled with interesting toys and inventions. One of them being the neatly craved binocular with magical lens.
She put them to good use.
She dismissed the idea of infringing on their privacy. It was not like she was going to blackmail them, right? She just wanted to see how people look with different emotions. What their eyes look like….when not being around her.
She had seen all those secret courtings between their palace staffs… in an isolated hallway... in a dark corner near the stable…
Not all of them ended with a happily ever after though…
That was when she realized how similar some people's eyes were to Elsa's.
Lingered with pain of unrequited… affection…
Elsa was so easy to read.
It was true that the face remained stoic; nevertheless, someone did say that the eyes are the window of the soul. Elsa's eyes told her everything she wanted to know but her lips remained close.
Elsa never once uttered a word of what she probably felt for her….
She used 'probably' because it was better to give Elsa benefits of a doubt also. She was not that conceited anyway.
Some people…well, most people find this kind of thing to be twisted, to be abominable... Strangely enough, despite all that was groomed into her head as a child, never once did she find it disgusting though.
Her own feeling for Elsa was also….well, quite complicated.
After the incident last year, the incident that people now referred to as the "Big Freeze", once everything turned back to normal, the certain affection Elsa's eyes became even more obvious, sometimes even bordering on less than purely romantic gaze.
Yet, she was not content with just the look. She wanted actions. She tired of being the one who always reach out, and if Elsa was not ready to give her that she would find it from someone else.
That was where Kristoff came into picture.
She knew how Elsa tried to make up for their lost time but honestly, she found her awkward attempt at tea parties and personal ice rinks to be quite… pathetic
She appreciated the gestures and everything but she wanted more…
Especially if Elsa kept looking at her longingly like that, she would not settle just for... this… so, she took off with Kristoff and Sven, hoping her actions might trigger something.
This seemed cruel for Elsa but she just wanted to be sure. She did not need to be abandoned for the second time. She definitely did not want to go through that personal hell again. Never again. Elsa must act if she wanted something… more form her.
She almost turned back to say that she would just ditch the duo and spent time with Elsa instead when she saw the pain in those pair of fine sapphires. Yet, she remained firm with her decision.
Becoming more than sisters would bring a lot…a LOT of complications after all.
And the person affected the most by all these 'complications' would be Elsa, the Queen. So, she would let Elsa choose.
Another year gone by and nothing…
She gave up the remaining hope and thought that it was probably for the best that Elsa did not act… She felt something for Kristoff, not to the point of marrying him, of course, yet she thought she would not mind much even if they end up sharing a marriage bed.
Finally, Kristoff gathered enough courage to ask her if she would do him an honor of becoming his wife. She was shocked with his proposal and decided to persuade him into waiting a little bit longer. Being a member of the royal family, she needed her sister's…the queen's permission and blessing for this anyway. Kristoff misinterpret her attempt at delaying giving out an answer and beamed at her, saying he would somehow prove himself as her worthy suitor to the queen.
She decided to give Elsa one last chance. She tested the water one last time by telling Elsa about Kristoff's proposal.
She thought the result would be the same as last time with Hans. All would be frozen and nothing more. Elsa would retreat back to her sanctuary, leaving Anna without giving a definite answer.
Or even worse, a simple yes.
When she felt the pair of delicate arms wrapped around her body… how she suddenly came to be on the receiving end of such a passionate yet desperate kiss…
Anna realized she was wrong…. Once again…
She was never this happy that she was wrong though.
Anna let herself smile into the kiss and… pushed Elsa away.
They needed to talk.
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