A/N- Though I've made a very conscious effort to maintain a K+ rating, I should probably add a trigger warning that this does refer to an instance of attempted drugging.

When your parents, with whom you grew up, are younger than you, and your time-travelling boyfriend appears younger than you, there are certain taboos you tend to ignore. Or, if your name last name happens to be Pond. Taboos like... inviting said parents and boyfriend to a party at your university.

Melody, now a dedicated student, was still young enough that her parents also happened to be her closest and longest friends. And, she couldn't really deny wanting to show off her newfound independence and...Riverness to the Doctor. So, she invited them all along to the planet-wide end of term party hosted by her fellow students.

When they landed on Diaskedase for the Old Earth-themed party, River sauntered up to them, hugging Amy and Rory, then smirking and stroking at the Doctor's lapels as she pulled him down for a kiss. He cleared his throat, tugging on the black bowtie that completed his fancy "I'm going on a date" ensemble as he took in River's own flapper dress. Which, in his opinion, barely qualified as a dress. Still, the carefree innocence in her eyes made his own light up, and he offered her his arm. Amy, who'd convinced a very reluctant Rory to don his Centurion costume, was wearing an elaborate early- Roman toga.

There was a short debate about whether or not to spend the night in one of the private suites around the planet, just the four of them, until Rory pointed out the point of a university end-of-term party was to mingle with other members of the university. And so, after staking a claim on one of the hovering tables with an early 23rd Century theme in the largest building, River grabbed Amy's hand and together they made their way onto the dance floor, the Doctor and Rory in tow.

The four of them lost track of time: River and Amy mocking the Doctor's "dance" moves, Rory nimbly twirling his wife and daughter around, the Doctor caught up in the "fun flutteriness" of River's dress, and all of them laughing and enjoying themselves immensely. Finally, they decided to make their way outside to the gardens for some air. As they were walking out, some classmates of River's whisked her away. She told the Doctor and Ponds she'd catch up with them in a bit, so the three friends decided to explore the immense, elegantly-lit garden.

After a little while of the Doctor rambling on the origins of the previous civilization on which Diaskadase was built, he noticed just how cosy Amy and Rory had become. Their hands were clasped tightly, with Amy's head on Rory's shoulder, and so (at Amy's teasing nudge) he decided to let them continue their stroll as he went back and looked for his own wife.

He got a bit sidetracked by the flickering of the lights in one of the many vast buildings he passed through, which turned out to be, uninterestingly, just a prank. And... maybe there was a squadron of Judoon who'd mistaken the planet for a moon. There was also a tiny incident involving the near-invasion of Cybermen. And then there was a group of grumpy Sontarans whom he safely and cleverly redirected to Calderon Beta. By the time he found the entrance to the building where they'd been dancing, enough time had passed that he began to look out for the Ponds as well, because who knew what trouble humans could get into if you left them alone for too long.

Before he found Amy and Rory, however, he found three very amorous, very handsy, very intimidating, different coloured men. Who, by the tone of her voice and expression on her face, were attempting to bestow their very unwelcome affections on River Song. Apparently her disinterest did nothing to deter their efforts, but he knew just how dangerous his wife was, especially this young, so the Doctor decided he'd better walk over and save the poor idiots' lives. Slowly. That, however, changed very quickly when he saw one of them slip something into the glass in River's hand while she was busy discouraging the other two with a dry remark.

Immediately seeing red, the Doctor marched up to them, grabbing the drink from River's hand and the collar of the man who'd altered it.

"Sorry, Dear," he said unapologetically, "it seems this man has gotten your drink confused with his own. Now," he continued, practically spitting through his clenched teeth in the larger man's face, "I am going to be very, very kind and allow you and your friends to go back to the nearest teleport right now and leave."

River reached out a hand to calm him down, but pulled it back when she saw the pure fury on the Doctor's face. He took a deep breath, remembered that he was supposed to be showing her a different path, and fiercely released the man's collar, glaring at his partners before taking River's hand and walking away.

"Sorry," the large green man taunted, addressing River, "here I thought you were a, how did you refer to it, "woman as dangerous as a weapon." We didn't know that really meant you needed your... little brother here to help you."

"No, I believe that's her little boyfriend."

"Poor bloke, she probably feels sorry for him. Or he feels sorry for her."

They all sniggered, obviously finding their comments amusing, while the Doctor and River simply squeezed each other's hands and continued walking, neither sure who was really holding the other back.

Apparently, though, the men's wounded pride overshadowed any threat they should have perceived the Oncoming Storm and the woman who killed him to be. They began to follow them, hooting and jeering down the path. When they were finally foolish enough to stop them- each one now brandishing hazardous looking stunners, the Doctor stepped in front of River, the annoyed danger in her eyes enough to earn his interference once more.

"Ooh, look. Little brother's angry. Does wittle Wiver need you to defend her?" the purple, stouter man wearing anti-grav boots goaded, staring over the Doctor's shoulders toward a barely-restrained River Song.

The Doctor breathed heavily, then stepped towards them and sonicked not only their stunners useless, but managed to knock the man in the boots back into a column, before he hit the ground on his bum, hard. The men's faces lit up in rage as they looked dumbly at their now- worthless weapons and their humiliated comrade. The Doctor smiled cheekily at them, twirling his sonic ostentatiously before replacing it in his pocket and addressing the last two.

"No, gentlemen, I assure you- River can always defend herself." With that he bounced up on his toes, nodding toward her with a smile. "It just so happens, she doesn't always need to."

Incensed, the pair stepped toward River, ready to take out their anger on her. The large green man was just about to open his mouth again, when his face collided hard with the fist of an enraged Centurion father. He fell to the ground, his nose bloody, as he curled up into a ball and whimpered, clutching his nose pathetically.

The orange man growled, stepping forward before his feet flew out from under him, the heavy stick Amy had somehow acquired coming back down to land heavily on his stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

By then the purple man had recovered, and was just about to pull out a long dagger from his costume, when he felt the very tip of a gladius press against his throat.

"I wouldn't, mate. Mine's bigger," the Roman warned.

"Now, dear River, which one of these men were bothering you again?" asked a very angry looking Scot.

"Oh, you know Mummy, I don't think you or Daddy need to worry. These three were just leaving."

The three men scrambled up, the green one still clutching his nose pitifully, and ran to the nearest transport.

Amy swung her stick dangerously once more before Rory carefully convinced her she'd no longer need it. Then they walked up to River, who was gazing thoughtfully to the side, her eyes bright and slightly moist.

"River?!"

"What's wrong?" they asked, their arms encircling her instantly. River looked up at them, a large, watery grin lighting her face.

She laughed as she leant over and kissed them both on their cheeks, her smile wide and proud. "I could've handled them all alone, you know," she said conversationally, her eyes shining as she looked at her parents and Time Lord. Then she leant her head against Amy's shoulder, her arm going around the Doctor's waist, the four of them just taking in the moment.

The Doctor bent to place a kiss in her curls, and as her family looked at their River, they all three said, "Yeah. We know."

Disclaimer: the author does not condone the use of violence to defeat violence, nor of a gladius without the proper training. Please Review.