And explode I did.
I wasn't sure how long a time had passed, between Elsa and mine breakup and the time I lost it. It could have been a week. It could have been centuries. My time was all mixed up.
But she came up to me one morning. I turned to escape her, because by that time, there were a lot of kids coming in from the buses. But she grabbed my hand.
"Anna, wait!"
I turned to her, vaguely annoyed by both her and the aching in my chest.
She bowed her head, allowing her hair to flop over her face - but not before I saw the dark circles beneath her eyes.
I felt guilt, though I knew I shouldn't have. This wasn't my fault, not really.
No. It wasn't my fault at all.
I realized that, then. None of Elsa's harsh treatment of me was justified. It was, in fact, wrong. Completely and utterly wrong.
"Anna," Elsa breathed. She moved to kiss me, but I moved back. "Anna, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were that against...you know...So...Anna-"
"No," I said quietly.
She blinked in shock and confusion. "Wha-"
"I. Said. NO!" I screamed.
Everyone froze.
Elsa's mouth was open, seemingly stuck how it had been when she had began to talk.
"I don't want this! I don't want to play your game anymore!" I growled. "I'm done with you hurting me, and building me up just to tear me down again! All you've done is hurt me! Even your "love" hurt!"
"Anna-"
"No, let me finish, Elsa!" I yelled at her. She cowered, and I felt everyone suck in a breath. "I've loved you. I've loved you forever. But what have you done for me? You've hated me, and hurt me-"
"Anna, I love you-"
"Do you? Do you really?" I sneered. "Because it seems to me that you're just fucking confused!"
She stared at me, her mouth opening and closing. Suddenly, a crystalline tear rolled down her pale cheek, though her face remained emotionless. "Anna...please...please, I can't have another person leave me..."
My heart ached. But I couldn't go back now. I had to be rid of her. I had to. For my sake.
It had been a while since I had actually done anything for myself.
"Don't play the victim. I wouldn't be leaving if you didn't push me away."
"I...I don't mean-"
"You don't mean to? Elsa, you're the one that's beat me up, that's called me names. Elsa, you fucking RAPED me!"
The air seemed to be sucked out of the hallway. I couldn't breath. I couldn't look at anyone. I couldn't deal with this right now.
I ran. I turned and ran, with the faces of everyone rushing past me.
When I finally burst out into the warm spring air, a felt the tears just rolling off my face. The bright blue sky and golden sun seemed so long.
How could the world around me be so right when my own personal one was crashing down?