A big thank you to my lovely reviewers. You guys are the best!
Sarah: Thank you! Btw, my name is Sarah without an h. :)
I will probably be writing a chapter on Aspen soon, so keep reading! Hope you enjoy!
As I lay in bed that night, my mind wanders back to the conversation with the queen. "Maxon loves you," she said. He loves me, and I love him. But can I take on the responsibilities that being queen requires? I don't know.
The next day, I work on memorizing my speech for the Report. It is mostly about how I didn't mean what I said, I was just confused and angry and acted out on that anger. They're trying to make me someone that I'm not! I am not confused, and I meant what I said! I just wish I hadn't said it.
There is a knock on my door, and I jump up to get it, hoping it is Maxon. There is so much to talk to him about. But when I open the door, I find the king glaring at me with an intensity so great, I feel faint. "Your highness," I say with a fake politeness. "Please come in." He does, and turns around so he is facing me. "Lady America, it is of the utmost importance that you convince the country of your, how should I put it, misjudgment tomorrow. " No pressure or anything. He continues, "If you do not, the rebels will attack more often, with more force, until the entire royal family is dead. You do not want Maxon to die, do you?" He had found a sore spot in me. Now I not only had my future at stake, I had Maxon's life in my hands! "Why...why would the rebels attack more?" I stutter. He sighs, exasperated. "Because, Lady America, they believe in your idea of "eliminating the caste system". He says the words like they taste sour, spitting them out as soon as he can. Apparently, he hates the idea of eliminating the caste system. I sure would if I were king. "The rebels believe that if they kill the royal family and take over the palace, they can, and will, eliminate the caste system. Think about what that means for you, Lady America. You wouldn't get your happily ever after then, would you?" No, I wouldn't. Maxon would be dead, and where would I be? Also dead? If this makes me selfish, then so be it. But I will not let the rebels kill the royal family. I will convince them it is a bad idea and I didn't mean it. I must, if I am to be happy. If Maxon is to be happy. I will do anything for Maxon, because I love him.
"Do I make myself clear?" the king snaps me out of my trance. "Yes, your majesty." I reply. "Very clear." He nods, satisfied, and leaves the room. I exhale slowly, releasing a breath I hadn't even realized I had been holding. Exhausted, I sit down on my bed. It seems like hours, days even until my maids come to get me ready for dinner.
During dinner, everyone is silent. The only noise is the clattering of plates and an occasional "Thank you" when our meal is served. Then Maxon stands, disrupting the silence. "Ladies, as you know, there is a Report tomorrow. I hope you are prepared, and Silvia will help you if you are not. Also, next week will be the Thanksgiving feast. You will each take part in the planning of it, and Silvia will give out the assignments tomorrow after the Report. Good luck ladies." He walks toward the door, and I catch his eye before he leaves. Tugging my ear, I am hopeful he will return the gesture. He does, and I am relieved. We need to talk.
Later when I am in my room, I hear a knock on my door. I rush to get it, and Maxon is there. I let him in, and he thanks me. "America, about tomorrow's Repo-". I cut him off. "I know Maxon. I will apologize for my behavior and take back what I said I front of the entire country, or you will die. I know." He looks amused. "What?" I ask him defensively. "Actually, I was just going to say that I'm sure you will do fine, and you needn't worry so much, but that's good too." he says. "Oh," I say. Well, that's not what I was expecting. A puzzled look crosses his face. "Wait, who said I would die?" Maxon asks. "Your father. He came in earlier and told me that the rebels would kill you if I didn't take back what I said." I reply. He turns pale, then looks angry. "He didn't hurt you, did he? I swear, if he laid one finger on you I
will-" I cut him off yet again. "I'm fine, Maxon. He didn't touch me, he just talked to me." His expression softens, but he still looks mad. "You don't need to worry about me so much, I can take care of myself you know." I tell him. Though it is kind of cute to see him get protective of me. "I know you can take care of yourself, it's just my father..." He trails off. I think of the king, and how he whips his son. Of course Maxon would would want to protect me from his father. I take a step towards him. He doesn't need to worry right now, he should be enjoying this night. I put my arms around his waist and look up into his eyes. He smiles down at me, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. They are too serious for a 19 year old, have seen too much, know too much. I lean my head on his chest. I will make him happy because he deserves to be happy for at least one night. But how? I am not like Celeste, throwing myself at any man I see. I am not like Kriss, writing kind notes and just acting plain perfect. No, I am not like them, I am myself. And that is good enough.
Taking Maxon's hand in mine, and placing his other on my waist, I start to dance. Clumsily, yes, but still dancing. Maxon smiles and plays along. We twirl around the room, dancing to the nonexistent music until we are dizzy and fall onto my bed. I turn to my side so I am looking into his eyes. "I love you so much." He whispers, the words meant only for me. I feel warm and whole. "I love you too," I whisper back. He smiles, and touches his lips to mine. I ball his shirt up in my fists, pulling him closer. He puts his hand on the small of my back, the other on my shoulder pushing me closer until we are up against each other. Yet it seems like there is still too much space between us. I kiss him deeply, and he kisses me back with the same intensity. I am on fire, then turn to ice. How does he make me feel this way? Then I think about how he makes others feel this way also. I pull back, the moment ruined. Maxon looks at me understandingly, then sits up. "I had better get to bed," he says. I nod. "Goodnight my dear." He walks out of the room and shuts the door. I climb higher onto my bed until my head touches the pillow. When it does, I fall fast asleep.