Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All the characters are owned by the respective owners (even though they abuse them). Please keep in mind English is not my first language!

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I'll read you on monday girls. I'm going on a short vacation with no internet access!

John closed the door to his car when he heard a shot. Abandoning everything he had in his duffle he grabed his gun and ran to the apartment, panic bubbling inside him.

All fight left him and for the first time ever he froze when he saw the exact thing he was hunting hovering over Bella, a string of white coming from her mouth in to the creatures.

Another gun shot sounded through the room leaving John's ears ringing and it woke him from his frozen state.

Bella was lying on the floor by the bed with her eyes closed and the Shtriga was melting on top of her. John strode towards her and kicked the thing off of Bella.

Crouching down, listening to his kids crying and reaching over to check if Bella was still alive couldn't take more than a few seconds but to John it felt like years.

When he felt a slow and steady pulse under Bella's jaw he let out a sob of relief. 'She'll be fine, she'll be fine, she'll be fine' was going through his head.

»Dad?« Dean crouched next to him.

Looking up from Bella John could see Dean crying. He couldn't remember the last time Dean cryed.

»She'll be fine.« John croaked out the words that were repeating in his head. »She'll be fine.«

He took Bella in his arms and layed her down next to Sammy in their bed. The apartment they were renting was small, bigger then a motel room but small all the same. It had a tiny living area with a living room and a kitchen cramped together, two even smaller bedrooms and a bathroom. Bella had the option of sleeping in the living room on the couch which was suprisingly comfortable but opted on sleeping with Sam. Bella said she loved to snuggle with him at night.

»Are you sure she'll be okay?« Sammy asked his little face wet with tears.

John nodded going to the bathroom to wet a rag.

»She looks so pale.« Dean said in worry when John came back.

»What happened?«

»I don't know.«

»We were sleeping. And then there was scratching on the window.« Dean sniffled. »The window opened but I was so scared. I'm sorry dad.«

John was appaled by the shame on Deans face. He had nothing to be ashamed of. This was all John's fault, he never should have put this kind of a burden on Dean's fragile littlt shoulders. He was just a boy.

»That's understandable son.« He put his hand on Dean's shoulder and draged him closer. »What then?«

»That…. That thing came in and it went straight to Sammy's bed. Dad the door closed by itself.«

Dean was getting hysterical. He knew the monsters that his dad hunted were those from horror movies but he has never seen one before.

»And then it leaned down to Sammy's face and then Bella came in and shot it. It fell down and Bella asked Sam if he was okay and then the monster grabed her and pulled her down.«

Dean was sobbing now in ernest. »Then…. Then a mist came from her mouth and she was so scared. I could see it on her face. Her eyes were so big. But then she got real angry and she shot it. Then it melted and you came to kick it off.«

John already knew that last part. He was standing frozen at the doorway when it happened.

»It's okay to be scared, son.« John told Dean but looked at both of his children while he said than. »Everyone is scared in some point of their life, even me. With the thing you've seen bigger and a lot tougher men would shake in their boots. There's no shame in being scared boys it's what you do with that fear that matters. Do you understand me?«

Both boys nodded and John ran the wet cloth over Bella's face again. Her eyelids flutterd.

»Ugh… What happened?« She asked groggily.

»The Shtriga attacked you.« John explained.

»Sammy!«

John pushed her back down when Bella's whole body lurched upwards. »Sam's fine. Look.«

Bella looked at the boy sitting next to her on the bed, she turned her head to find Dean and when she found them both safe and sound she let out a sigh a relief.

»Thank god.« She reached her arms to them. »Come here.«

Bella hugged both boys to her, Dean looked at his dad embaressed but John only smiled.

John felt guilty as hell.

All of the thing he did, helping people, all the good he did when he got rid of evil, it didn't outweigh the bad he did to his boys. Denying them a loving parent was the worst thing John ever did in his life.

Sam and Dean fell asleep in Bella's arms so she needed John's help wiht extracting herself out of bed without waking them. They needed to talk and it would be better if they could talk in peace.

As soon as the door closed behind her Bella found herself pinned to it John's big hand in her hair and his lips franticly seaching hers. Bella was shocked at first but recovered quickly and returned the kiss, stepping to the tips of her toes to reach. Her arms wraping around John's neck pulling him closer.

John slid his hand slowly down the length of Bella's body enjoying the curves he found he reached her waist he stopped, his hand felt huge on her small body and pulled her even closer. There was no space between them whatsoever.

Swiping his thumb over her tummy, lifting her shirt with it to feel the skin under it John's blood boiled. He relesed her waist and grabed her thigh, almost violently yanking it up and wraping it around his hip.

Bella let out a gasp when she felt him at her core, her head falling back on the door. John's lips never stopped their assult. When Bella tore her lips away from his he followed the path of her jaw to her ear and then down her neck to her breasts, stopping occasionally to nip or lick at her skin.

One look in to eachothers eyes was all it took for them to become even more desperate. They riped clothes from eachother in a haste and when John lifted Bella, pressed her back to the door and pushed himself inside her they both felt complete.

As soon as they were connected in the most intimate way the need inside them calmed. They no longer felt that desperate need, nothing violent left in them all they felt now was happines, tendernes. Love.

Locking with Bella's eyes John wondered how he could ever live without this, without her. Knowing Bella's thoughts were pretty much the same, thinking that nothing has ever felt like this. And nothing ever could replace this.

Tenderly caressing Bella's face with his hand John moved inside her, bringing her closer and closer to climax. He kissed her long and gently as she climaxed taking him with her.

Never once breaking their connection he carried Bella to his room and layed her down on his bed kissing her and eventually making love to her again.

Bella couldn't believe this happened. Finally after weeks and weeks of tention, longing and just pure want John finaly made the move. She was begining to think he will ignore her forever.

Bella has never felt happier than she did the morning after.

She slept longer than usualy, being exhausted from the night with John and the confrontation with the Shtriga, rolling over she saw that the bed on John's side was empty.

She smiled and shook her head. She slept so long the boys were already awake, she could hear them talking and laughing in the living room, sounds of SpongeBob coming through the door.

Bella dressed in one of John's T-shirt because her sleep clothes got left behind last night. She hoped to god that John picked them up and not the boys.

»Morning boys.«

»Bella!« Dean exclaimed and they both ran to her and hugged her. »How are you feeling?«

»I'm fine, guys. Really.« Bella assured them.

»I was scared.« Sam whispered to her.

Bella nodded. »I was scared to. I think we all were.«

»Where's your father?«

»He left.« Dean said with a shrug.

Bella's whole life crashed down around her, realising that John wasn't in the apartment.

»Did he say where and when he'll be back?« Bella asked grasping straws of hope.

Dean shook his head, his eyes never leaving the TV. »Don't know. He left a note that he had to go and to stay here in the meantime.«

»Oh.« Bella breathed. »I'm gonna take a shower. Be good.« Her heart was breaking but she needed to be strong for the boys. 'How could I be so stupid?' She locked herself in the bathroom and cried under the shower. 'What will I do now?' She aked herself 'I can't just leave. I love them. I love him.' The last tought just made her sob more.

Thank you for reading!