11. This Wasn't Planned
Beth POV
From Yesterday by 30 Seconds To Mars
He told me last night. Robert and Nick planned to find Kellogg and put an end to him. When he told me, I just about lost it. I couldn't imagine him getting hurt. And since I've seen Kellogg in action, I feared for Robert's life. I knew Nick could handle himself—he's more durable, more easily repaired. But Robert on the other hand… He's human. All it would take would be a single bullet to the head and it'd be game over. Then I'd be lost all over again. We've only been traveling together for a month, roughly. But it's felt like forever. Like I finally met my match. I loved Nate to death, but now that he's gone, and Robert's here, I will love him to death—literally—I'd die for this man, no problem. Behind finding Shaun, he's all that matters now.
It's now early morning, and I've been awake for far too long. I've been staring at Robert's face for an unfathomable amount of time. Will this be the last time I see him like this?
Even though I can't see the time on my Pip-Boy from here, my internal clock is telling me it's almost five. I've been awake for so long, I don't even know how I'm going to do this. I'm still tired from last night.
Although it's way too early for Robert to wake up, he starts to stir, grunting as he slowly gains consciousness.
Heavy sighing, he opens his eyes and looks around the room before they land on my face. "You look exhausted," he says, his voice full of sleep.
"Yeah, well, I didn't get much rest." I tuck my arm under my head as I continue to look at him. "Woke up from a dream a few hours ago and couldn't go back to sleep." My face scrunches from the memory of it.
Seeing my clear discontent, he asks, "Nightmare?" He moves onto his side from his back and copies me by placing his arm beneath his head.
"I guess so, yeah."
"Want to tell me about it? Sometimes it helps," he suggests.
"Sure." I think about how to start. "It was about today. Like, us going to find Kellogg. Well, we found him—it was just you and I. Nick and Dogmeat weren't with us. So, right before I pull the trigger, he vanishes. I didn't know where he went. But then suddenly, he's behind us. Instead of aiming for me, he aims for you and fires." Just the thought of this puts a croakiness in my voice. Trying my best to continue, "You died instantly, and then he just left. He knew I couldn't kill him. I didn't even try. I just sat next to you, weeping." I look away. "I can't lose you like that," I whisper.
Robert looks worried for me. "That's not going to happen," he assures. "We'll be fine. Everything's gonna be okay. Alright?" He lifts my face and looks at me with an oath in his eyes. "He won't know what's comin' to him. Besides, Nick and Dogmeat are going to be with us. We'll get this done."
"Thank you," I say genuinely. "I don't know how this is going to go, but as long as we're together, it'll be okay." As much as I'm trying to convince myself, why do I feel like I'm lying?
"You sure you should come with us? The kid, dog, and I can handle Kellogg if you want to stay home." Ever since meeting Nick in his office, he had been trying to persuade me to stay in Diamond City. Even as we found Kellogg's trail and was well on the road to him, he was still trying his best.
"Nick. I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't at least see his death. I need to be the one to end him anyway."
Robert adds, "He took her life from her. She needs to be the one. We're just her backup." Everytime Nick has tried to tell me it'd be best to not tag along, Robert would speak up on my behalf. I could tell he didn't want me to go either, but he understood my reasoning. Nick looked a little upset with him everytime he'd say something like that, but at the same time, he almost looked relieved somehow.
After seemingly countless hours of walking, Dogmeat stands at a boarded up door and barks, signaling that we've reached our destination.
"I think this is it, guys," I say, looking up at the building for the first time. "Fort Hagen?"
"Sounds like you've been here before. Before the War?" Robert asks me.
"Yeah. Nate had to turn in some paper work here. After that, we went to the park and made a day of it." I can feel my cheeks growing redder by the second at the thought. That was when Shaun was conceived. I laugh internally, but can't help the small grin on my face.
"Must've been a heck of a day," he notes, chuckling himself as he notices how I reacted to the memory.
Nick pipes in, "At the park? Really?"
"It was a nice day," I say with as much innocence as I can. "Anyway," I continue, "shall we try to find our way in since the front door clearly won't work?"
Both Robert and Nick laugh at my horrible excuse of a way out.
We walk around the entire building, trying to find an entrance point, but we come up short by the time we circle back to the front. "Can't go through, can't go under. Should we can try going over? Maybe there's a hatch on the roof," Nick suggests. Robert and I decide to check it out while Nick stays on the ground with Dogmeat. "Make sure you call me if you need my help. I'll be there in a jiff."
When we reach the roof, we gun down a few turrets and find a hatch—just like Nick said. "We'll be right back," Robert calls to the synth detective. "This won't take long." He winks at me as we open the hatch and descend into the fort.
There were synth patrols everywhere, but they were no match for our rifles. Even their motion detectors couldn't get a full read before they were lying on the ground, no longer able to be powered on.
So many synths… Gen 1s mostly. The few Gen 2s that were present didn't even pose much threat toward us. It was almost as if they were programmed to let us slip past them undetected.
Just to be on the safe side, we moved at a slow speed, always on high alert for danger. Around an hour later, a voice on the PA system booms out.
"There's my favourite TV dinner. I see you finally made it. I'm glad for you. Shows you have the drive to make it in this world." I can feel the angry aura seeping out of Robert behind me. Always watching our backs.
"Can you hear me?" I ask the ceiling. Nothing. "Hey, douchebag?" Silence.
"It's probably a good thing he can't hear us," Robert retorts. "Cause he'd be hearing an earful from me right about now."
"You and me both," I agree.
"I'm going to pull the synths back, so you can come in freely," who I assume to be Kellogg continues.
"He couldn't have done that an hour ago?" I ask myself more than anyone.
As we continue forward, we walk into a room with some equipment in it that can't be Pre-War—or I'd recognize it—yet it's new and shiny. A small bed sits nearly in the middle of the room—a bed small enough that only a child could use it.
The PA speaks again. "Through the door and to the left. You don't need to worry about the synths. I sent them away. Let's talk."
I hear Robert mutter beside me, "Talk to the end of my gun, assh—buttwad."
As we walk into the room, it lights up and I see Kellogg standing at the other end. "You! You fuc—!" Robert grabs me from behind and holds me to him, not allowing me to charge at Kellogg as I was about to.
"Don't be reckless," he whispers in my ear. Seeing that I've calmed down considerably, he lets me go, save my wrist.
"As I said before, I'm glad to see you here." Hearing his voice again in person makes me cringe, but at the same time, all the more livid.
"Like hell you are," I spit at him. "You ruined me. My entire existence, and you're glad to see me?!" Robert grips my wrist tighter, feeling the onslaught of fury about to erupt from me. I try to shake him off to no avail.
"It was just business. It was my job."
"It was my life!" I yell back at him. "You can't stand there and tell me that your job was to ruin my life!" I struggle against my restraint even more. "Everything I had, gone in a matter of hours! EVERYTHING!" My eyes start leaking tears from my anger, my thrashing becomes weaker. I look down to the floor, Robert still holding onto my arm with utmost vigor despite my giving up on attacking the man before me.
Kellogg starts walking toward me. "It was business. I know this isn't something you want to hear, or will even believe. But hear me out." He stops roughly five feet from me. "I'm sorry." I look up at him with newfound vengeance in my eyes. Seeing this, he steps back ever so slightly and continues.
"It's been… a while… since that day. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't care back then. I was just a ruthless mercenary working for the wrong people at the wrong time. I have changed.
"All this time, and I still think of that day. The sound of the boy's cry. The look of determination on your husband's features. But most of all, the horror in your eyes as you watched it all happen. There's nothing I can do to make up for what I did—nothing I can give you to even touch what you lost. But I do offer my sincerest apology. And I hope you'll learn to accept it and begin to move on." He shifts his gaze from my face to Robert's. "It looks like you already have started walking that road to recovery. I'm happy to see that." He looks back at me.
"I understand that all you want now is your son. I'd hate to continue to stand in your way. So, here." He walks over to a table with a terminal and picks up a large roll of paper. "These are schematics for a way to find him." He looks like he's about to walk them over to us, but by the look on both my and Robert's faces, he decides against this and instead rolls them on the floor toward us. "I hope you know someone that can build that. It'll make it so much easier—you have no clue.
"I am truly sorry… Beth. I hope you'll learn to forgive me over time. I know it will be difficult. I still can't fully forgive those who took my wife and daughter from me. But it has gotten better—the resentment.
"I've lived long enough—I've done my damage. I can die now, and be okay with it. If it will help you with your grieving, do what you must."
Robert lets go of me and steps to the side, to see a clear shot of Kellogg as I aim for his head. A shot rings out, but not from my gun. Kellogg falls down, dead. A bullet to the brain. I look to my side to see smoke coming from Robert's rifle. As I'm about to be outraged at him for taking my kill, another shot is fired, and this time, Robert falls to the ground in a small splatter of blood. Looking to where I heard the shot from, I see a Gen 1 holding a .44, presumably Kellogg's. I raise my rifle at it and fire until it announces its systems are offline.
I bend down to Robert, laying on the floor, an enormous bullet wound on his outer thigh. For a few seconds, I'm screaming internally, until I realize it's not completely internal. Why, why, why?!
"What'd that thing use? A canon?!" He grunts while I try to think of what to do. Clearly in pain, he utters so quietly, I'm not even sure it's what he said, "Almost shot my balls off."
"Take it easy, he missed 'em by a mile." Why am I joking around while I'm freaking out?! Okay, okay. What do I do? What did he do when I get shot? I go into auto-medic as I remember what he did back in Goodneighbor.
I dig into one of his pouches and pull out a leather strip. He used this when he pulled the bullet out. I put it in his mouth and tell him to bite down like he had me do. Looking into the hole in his leg, I see the bullet and get ready to extract it. Making sure I have a Stimpak ready, I take a deep breath, and pull the piece of metal out with my own fingers. Injecting the Stimpak next to the bullet hole, I watch as it slowly heals up. I also remember him saying something about Med-X, so I find a syringe of that and inject it as well. After a couple minutes, the hole stops transforming and shows its final form—a very small and slightly puckered scar.
The Med-X must have really worked as he's no longer groaning in pain, instead, he's lying there calmly, looking up at me with a face I don't fully understand. I continue to stare at the scar I can see through the new hole in his pants, not knowing what to do from here.
He startles me by saying, "You did good." Looking up to his face, I see a small grin as he pins himself up on his elbows.
When he least expects it, I punch him in the arm as hard as I can, earning a surprised, "Ow! What was that for?"
"Everything!" I exclaim. In my mind, I think, It was for holding me back, for killing Kellogg, for getting shot, for my dream last night that seems to have been closer to a premonition than a nightmare. I know half these things aren't logical to blame on him, but with everything that just happened in rapid succession, I can't help the emotions as they course through me and escape in small tears.
Despite my irrational outburst at him, he looks at me worriedly. "What's wrong? Did you get hit?" He looks over me briefly and seems confused when he doesn't find any injuries. "You shouldn't be crying, Beth. Kellogg's gone now—you should be celebrating if anything."
"I don't feel like it," I say simply. In thought, however, I feel an influx of emotions. Joy that Nate has been avenged, anger that I wasn't able to do it myself, surprise and acceptance that it's over, and one I wouldn't expect: depression. What Kellogg was saying has some kind of sad impact on me. He lost his family, too? Then why would he take a job like that, if he knew how it'd affect the person left? At the same time, I wonder, How is he sorry? I can't wrap my head around the concept of him feeling remorseful for what he did. He was a mercenary, a ruthless killer for hire, an antisocial psychopath. Why did he tell me he's sorry? Was it just a lie?
Apparently, my brows had scrunched together, because Robert reaches up and smooths them out with his fingers. "C'mon. Let's take a look around and get the heck outta here." He gets to his feet and walks over to Kellogg's body, looking at his leather jacket. "Interesting armour," he comments. "Maybe I can use this. He's roughly my size." He starts to unclothe him as I pick up the paper off the floor he'd said was schematics. Tucking it into a nearby satchel, I throw it over my shoulder and continue to look throughout the room.
It looks like he'd been here a while. There's water bottles and food packages in a waste bin, a few decently intact books lying on a desk next to a terminal. Seeing the titles, I put them in the bag as well. I'm surprised he'd read in the first place, especially Of Mice and Men and Brave New World. There's also a book I've never heard of, called The Woman in Black. Wonder if it's any good. I put it in the bag along with the others, willing to give it a shot. Finding a few Stimpaks, I stash those, too. I don't even bother looking at the terminal. A part of me says, But what if there's something to do with Shaun on it? The other part doesn't want to look due to the possibility of personal journal entries having to do with his past.
Robert comes up to me—a bag now on his shoulder also, carrying what seems to be all of Kellogg's outfit—and hands me a gun. Kellogg's pistol. The gun that killed Nate, the gun that could have taken my own life, or Robert's life ten minutes ago. I hold it in my hand, looking at it, deciding if I want to take it or leave it. Ultimately, I place it inside my bag along with the books and Stimpaks and start heading toward the door.
"You're not going to look at the terminal?" Robert asks me.
"No," I reply. "I'm ready to get Nick and Dogmeat and head home."
When we leave the building via the elevator, I see something in the sky like I've never seen in person before. Is that… an airship?
"People of the Commonwealth: do not interfere. Our intentions are peaceful."
Robert looks up to the giant balloon passing by. "It's the Brotherhood of Steel. What are they doing here?"
"You know who they are?" I ask.
"Yeah. Back in the Capital Wasteland, they're a force to be reckoned with." He shakes his head. "Never really cared for them and their military-ness. But I do have to hand it to them: they took out the Enclave and brought Project Purity to life ten years ago." Neither of those terms sound familiar to me, but I decide not to question them. He looks away from the zeppelin, to me. "Did you see the size of that airship? That's how you make an entrance."
When we reached the ground where we had left our other two companions, Nick looked like he wanted to be angry for not allowing him to go with us. I could have noticed that synth and he never would have gotten shot in the first place, he pointed to Robert's leg. Should've let me go…
As we were nearing the Charles River on our way back to Diamond City, I noticed that my Pip-Boy was picking up a radio signal from Cambridge. After listening to it and choosing to check it out, Nick decided we should split ways and meet up at the Dugout later for a beer or something. So off he and Dogmeat went while Robert and I headed slightly north to the Cambridge Police Station.
Once we arrived, we saw that feral ghouls were all over the place. Whoever they were, they were sure keeping their own with their shiny laser weapons, but we decided to help anyway.
After the all ghouls were dead, a guy in a giant metal suit told us to meet him inside.
"Your help was appreciated out there, civilian. The name's Paladin Danse." Now that I have a good look at his face, I can't help but to practically stare at him. So, he's good looking.
"Doesn't look like you could dance very easily in whatever that thing is," I remark.
"No. D-A-N-S-E, not C-E. That is my name. I am a Paladin in the Brotherhood of Steel. And this is a suit of power armour." He seems a bit perturbed at my comment.
"Oh. So, the airship people. Were you on that earlier?"
He clears his throat, clearly not having my ignorance. "Yes, the 'airship people.' But no, I have been here with my squad for a few days now." He sighs. "Do you have any other questions, civilian?"
"Um, yeah. Why are you guys here? Touring Boston or something?"
He looks around the room—almost like he's rolling his eyes. "We've come to the Commonwealth from the Capital Wasteland. We're looking for a place called 'the Institute.' Maybe you've heard of it. But then again, from your garments, I'd say you're 'new' to the wasteland." I look down to see I'm wearing my vaultsuit, as always.
The Institute? "I have heard of it. I actually need to find it, too."
"What could a vault member like you possibly want with the Institute?"
"Well… ex-vault member," I correct. "I was the only survivor, besides my son who was stolen from me while we were in it. And that is why I need to find the Institute. I have good reason to believe that's where he is."
"Your son, huh?" he asks. "What makes you think he didn't just fake a kidnapping and retreat there for refuge?"
I feel a spark of acid at his question. Letting myself become completely salty, I reply, "I don't think a three month old would stage his kidnapping from his mother, especially getting his father killed in the process." He doesn't say anything as he raises his eyebrows at me. "I don't know what you think you know, but I sure as hell know what I've been through. I've been through the Great War, I've seen the bombs fall. I've seen my son get stolen from his father's arms as he protested and payed the ultimate price for doing so. I am just a mother trying to find her son, and I'll be damned if I let you get in my way." I turn to Robert. "C'mon, let's go."
"Wait," Danse says as I reach for the doorknob. I turn my head toward him. "Maybe we can come to an agreement. I mean, we stand on mutual ground." Turning to him, he continues, "The more people looking for the 'Commonwealth Boogeyman,' the better. And since you think your son's there…"
"I know he is," I come back.
"Come with me," he says, and walks through a door behind him. I look to Robert—looking for silent advice. He just shrugs. Real frickin' helpful.
"You have a lot to learn," Danse says when we catch up to him. "The ways of the Brotherhood have been default for me for so long, but I realize everything will be different for you. I'll try my best to be supportive along the way." We step onto the roof and he climbs aboard a Vertibird.
"These things are still around?" I ask no one in particular.
"These are one of those things that fly, isn't it?" Robert asks me as we climb onto it after the Paladin. I nod and he swallows hard. I can't stop giggling at the sight of him being scared of it.
"It'll be fine," I assure him with a pat on the arm.
"Free spot next to the minigun, if you wish to take it," Danse suggests. "Vertibirds offer quite the view of the Commonwealth."
I grip onto a bar behind the pilot, and the engines start to whir and come to life. "Wanna stand by me?" I ask Robert. "I won't let you fall out." He gives me possibly the dirtiest look I've ever seen on his face, which makes me laugh all the more.
As we fly over Boston—the Commonwealth—I can't help but notice how desolate it is. Nobody is going about their business despite it being the time of normal rush hour—five o'clock in the evening. At this time, I'd have already left work, a full day of tending to files or making sure the firm was closed down for the day. I see the beautiful evening sun, making its way into the west, wanting to say goodbye to all the people that no longer travel on their daily commute. I feel somber, thinking all this as we make our way to the airport, toward the giant aircraft now hovering over it.
When we docked, Robert and I climbed off the Vertibird and are led by Paladin Danse to a man named Lancer-Captain Kells. They discussed how Danse had promoted me to Initiate among the ranks and how he personally sponsored me. I had to admit that this surprised me. He seemed so tentative to speak with me back at the police station.
I received a bit of suspicion from the Lancer-Captain, telling me that I didn't look like a soldier. I just told him how looks can be deceiving, to which he agreed, however hesitantly. He told me that I needed to attend an address from a guy named Elder Maxson. Danse stayed outside with the Lancer-Captain as I went inside to see what was going on.
When I got inside, a buffed dude in a sick looking coat was speaking in front of a group of half a dozen people. He spoke with authority and a sense of inspiration. He looked like he could be anywhere from his early twenties to his thirties—although his facial features told me he was closer to the former than the latter.
His speech was strong and filled with passion. For the second time today, I heard the word "Institute." They must really want to find them, too, I thought.
After he is through with his monologue, I approach him for the "word" he wanted to have with me.
"I care about them, you know. The people of the Commonwealth." I'm not sure what I've been expecting, but the tone he uses catches me off guard. He sounded so tough when he was speaking before the other members of the Brotherhood. His tone now is almost… sad.
"Looks to me like you're preparing for a war, Elder," I comment.
"We are. But one we're initiating ourselves before a worse one erupts." He takes a step back and leans against the railing. "You know, from Paladin Danse's talk of you, you've become quite the distinguished Initiate."
My eyes go wide. "I didn't know he talked about me. I haven't even done anything for the Brotherhood."
"Untrue," he refutes. "You helped them at the Cambridge Police Station when they were being overrun by feral ghouls. Most people would have kept going or stood by to watch."
"I heard the distress call that someone needed help. It would have been unlike me to ignore it."
"All the same, it is appreciated." He shifts his weight on the rail.
After a second, in small talk, I say, "So, you're looking for the Institute. Funny thing." He looks up at me. "I am as well."
"What could a vault dweller want with the Institute?" What is it with them and their questions? I think of Danse asking a similar question earlier.
"Well… long story short: my son was kidnapped by them, and I need to find him."
He raises his brows. "A child, you say?" He looks down and shakes his head. "Will they ever have boundaries?" He looks back to me. "Is that why you are here?"
I answer what I know to be true. "I didn't know you guys—the Brotherhood—was here for them. I've been looking for him for a few months now. And when Paladin Danse said something about it, and made a remark I wasn't too fond of, I lashed out. He wanted me to follow him. We boarded a Vertibird, and here I am."
"I see." He stands up. "I can see from your suit that you are from a vault. Nearby?"
"Sort of," I say. "It's to the north, near Concord. Vault 111, if you've heard of it."
"Yes, I have. It's exed. Only a sole survivor remained." He gets a look in his eyes, close to humour. "So, you're the 111 popsicle."
Robert—having been standing behind me—makes a move toward the "Elder." "Don't you dare call her that! She can't help it!"
"Protective, I see. And who is this?"
Not even sure what to call him, I say, "This is my… partner, sir."
"Partner? Will this be of any hindrance for you, soldier?" He eyes Robert up, making him all the more upset.
"No, sir. He's with me, one hundred percent."
Seeming assured, he moves on from the subject. "You seem extremely comfortable in a militaristic environment."
"My husband was ex-military before the War. I'm semi-familiar with this setting."
He nods his head, impressed. "Good. Makes it easier for both parties." Looking past me to a giant ladder-type thing, he says, "Walk around the ship, get to know the staff. You'll do just fine here. Welcome aboard the Prydwen, soldier. Ad victoriam." He does this weird salute and turns around, staring down into Boston.
Not sure what to do now, I turn to see Robert's face all red. "What's wrong?"
"I don't like him." He isn't being quiet, showing he doesn't care if the Elder hears him.
"It's fine," I say. "You don't have to." We start to walk back toward the Vertibirds. "I'm just here for Shaun, remember? We don't have to like them period. They're looking for the Institute. We'll do better with them than without them. I mean," I look around us, "look at their toys. I think that's the proof in the pudding right there."
"You know I don't know what that means." He looks at me with a flat look.
"Yeah, I know. Doesn't matter. What matters is that I get that paper to someone that can help us." I think of the schematics Kellogg gave us. "I'm coming, Shaun."
A/N: Catch the Mafia 2 reference in there? No? Okay... lol
Anywho, I kind of felt some sympathy for Kellogg when his story was being told in FO4. I don't really know why. But this is the first big AU thing I've done so far—I believe. I wanted to give him more of a "likable" personality for some reason. This was the result, I suppose.