A/N: You guys are great. You have stuck with me for over 90 chapters on a story I was very hesitant about. Thank you all so much. Before you start reading this chapter I have jumped ahead about two weeks. The next chapter will probably take a few days to pull together it will be the much anticipated chapter of Jess's testimony. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter.
"Alex, you don't have to go today," Olivia said as she watched Alex get dressed for court. Every morning without fail, for the last two weeks, she and Alex were sitting in the court room to watch the proceedings. Yesterday, Abby had told them that Jess was schedule to take the stand and it wasn't needed for either of them to be there. Olivia had secretly hoped that she would listen to Abby and stay home, but she knew, without a doubt, that they would be having this discussion.
"Yes, I do," Alex answered as she reached down and slid her heels on.
"No, you don't," Olivia stated as she reached out and stopped Alex, "Abby said we're not needed at court today."
"Olivia, you and I both know that the healing begins when you face your attacker."
"Honey, what the hell do you think you've been doing?" Olivia asked as she struggled to keep her anger under control, something that was becoming more and more difficult since the defense began its case on Monday.
"She takes the stand today."
"I'm aware of that," Olivia stated as she ground her teeth together, trying her best to keep composed.
"You can stay here if you can't handle being in court today," Alex shot back as she grabbed her coat and headed for the door, "Besides I wouldn't want to disgust you anymore than what you already are."
"I've had it," Olivia shouted as she slammed the door shut that Alex had just opened and grabbed Alex spinning her around to face her, "It has nothing to do with how disgusted I am because you and I both know that's a lie. I don't care about any of that, and lord knows we've been through it enough times already."
"Olivia, if you can't handle it then, just stay home," Alex said as she laid her hand on her chest, "Elliot will be there with me. Take today and relax."
"I will not let you go through this by yourself."
"It's hard for you, I get that, believe me, and if you can't handle it today stay home. You've pushed yourself so much lately. It's okay."
"No, give me five minutes to put something different on and I'll be ready," Olivia said as she turned back toward the stairs.
"Olivia, stop," Alex called out, blowing out a breath when Olivia did stop, "Honey, since the defense has started on Monday, you have hardly slept. I have three new holes in my, your bedroom wall and its becoming extremely difficult for you to concentrate. Stay home today, take a nap, or just try to relax."
"What about you?" Olivia asked as she finally turned around to face Alex, "You haven't shared a bed with me since then. You cry and whimper in your sleep and when I come in there to you, you're terrified and begging her not to hurt you again. When do you get your time to relax, Alex? When do you realize you're not alone anymore and I'm here for you?"
"I can't lean on you forever," Alex whispered as she closed the gap between them and caressed the side of Olivia's face, "You can't always hold my hand; at some point, I will have to be a big girl and face the real world without you there as my protective shell."
"Yes, you can," Olivia answered as she kissed Alex's palm, "I told you that I would stand by you ever step of the way and I meant it. I'm not backing out on you. When we come home, I will take a nap, okay?"
"No, it's not, Olivia," Alex said as she smiled at Olivia, "Honey, you know if you don't get enough sleep that you become easily angered and have trouble focusing. You haven't been sleeping and you won't take the sleep aid for your insomnia because of me."
"I can handle it, Alex."
"Really; is that why I have those holes in the wall in your bedroom? Is that why you just slammed the door shut and jerked me around so I was facing you? Is that why your jaw is clenched so tight right now that I'm afraid that you will break a tooth? Is that why you threw the manual across the room and shattered my vase last night when you realized you had reread the same sentence at least five times and still didn't understand it?"
"I'LL FIX YOUR DAMN WALL," Olivia shouted as she got in Alex's face, "I'VE FIXED THE DAMAGE I'VE DONE BEFORE. THIS TIME WON'T BE ANY DIFFERENT."
"HOW MUCH MORE DAMAGE IS MY HOUSE GOING TO HAVE TO ENDURE BEFORE YOU REALIZE YOU CAN'T CONTINUE ON THE WAY YOU USE TO?" Alex screamed back, taking a deep breath trying to calm herself and hopefully Olivia before they both did and/or said something they would regret, "Olivia, I know it frustrates you that you can't continue on like you use to. Despite what you think, I do understand that is a very hard adjustment for you to make, but we need to start facing them and making them now before you return to work and not after. Right now, I am forbidding you to force yourself today, and demanding that you go upstairs, take your medicine, and rest. When I come home, we will have a quiet evening, just the two of us."
"NO."
"Olivia."
"Don't "Olivia" me," Olivia choked out as she fought hard to keep the tears from falling, "I'm going upstairs and I am changing my clothes. I will be next to you in the cab, holding your hand, just like always. I will be there by you in court like always. Then, when this day is over, we can come home and have that dinner you were talking about. Then, when it's time for bed, you can come to my bed and I will fall asleep holding you."
"My nightmares will keep you up."
"Is that why you haven't been in the room with me?" Olivia asked as she turned her head to the side to look at Alex, finally realizing the reasoning behind Alex not sharing a bed with her anymore.
"Yeah, I know how bad you need your sleep," Alex said, looking away, "I knew with the first sound I made, you would be awake and stay awake to protect me the best you can."
"In case you didn't notice, I'm up anyways," Olivia said, stepping off the stairs and turning Alex's head so that she could look at her, "I wake up the second I hear you whimper or plead in your sleep. I try to comfort you back to sleep, but only scare you more so instead I sit on the floor by your door so I can be there for you when you need me. So, you staying in another room so I can get some sleep isn't working. Hell, if we're going to be honest, it isn't working for either one of us, so tonight we will curl up in each other's arms, okay?"
"Okay, but I'm still going to court today."
"I know," Olivia said, laughing, "And I will be right there by you, like always too."
Alex nodded as she watched Olivia jog up the stairs to change clothes. As much as she wanted to sit in court today, alone, she knew she needed Olivia there with her. She just hoped that with Olivia's lack of sleep that she would be able to control herself when Jess took the stand today.