Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All the characters are owned by the respective owners (even though they abuse them). Please keep in mind English is not my first language or don't but just so you know there are people that speak english every day and write it worse than I do.

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John drove without stopping, hoping Bella won't be too angry with him. He knew it was useless but they do say hope dies last.

As he parked in front of the apartment he was immediately on guard seeing it dark indicating it was emty. Causiosly going inside he let out a sigh of relief seeing no sighns of strugle. He sat down on the couch in the dark waiting for his soulmate and his sons to come back.

His heart almost beat out of his chest when he heard the key turning. The boys ran to him and he got to his knees to hug them to him.

John opened his eyes after embracing the boys and he saw Bella opening the front door with her bag on her shoulder. It has just accured him she never said anything to him, he didn't even see her.

»Wait!« He pleaded her. »Don't go.«

Bella froze her hand on the doorknob the door half opened. She wanted to leave so badly, wanted to make a point to herself and to John. But she couldn't. Somehow the sound of Johns voice hypnotised her, her body wouldn't move no matter how much she tried to make it work. She wanted to go but she needed to stay.

»Please.«

Bella turned and Johns heart broke when he saw her eyes. It hurt him even more that he was the one that hurt her.

He looked down at Sam and Dean. »Boys, why don't you go play in your room?«

Sam obeyed instantly but Dean didn't move a muscle.

»No!« Dean exclaimed. »I won't let Bella leave. You made her cry. I knew it was your fault! You'll make her go away! I don't want that! I love her! You take everything I love!«

Bella droped her head, she had a feeling Dean knew something was wrong with her. He was always too observant. But she had no idea he heard her cry last night, he was supposed to be sleeping.

»I won't let Bella leave either, son. But you have to alow me to fix this, Dean. I promise I'll try my best. I'm so sorry, Dean for everything. I'll make it up to you I promise. We'll have more time now.«

Dean eyed his father critically. »You say your sorry to Bella!« He pointed his finger at John. »I mean it!«

»I will.« John assured him.

Dean left with one last accusing look at John.

»Bella.« John sighed when they were alone.

»No! How could you?« Bella screamed at him, tears streaming down her face.

John stepped forward, reaching his hand to her face. Bella took a step back shaking her head.

»Don't touch me!« She snapped at him.

»I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. You'll never know how sorry I am.« John told her. »I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear.«

»But you did! How could you do that to me?« Bella sobed.

»I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry.« John tried to make her understand. But like every man in the world he said the wrong thing. »I was lying there next to you and I got this feeling that I need to be somewhere else.«

Bella's jaw dropped. »You know what, John? Fuck you!« She grabbed her bag and walked back to the door.

»No, wait! I didn't mean it like that.« John grabed her arm. »This isn't coming out right.«

He turned Bella to him and took her face in his hands.

»I love you.« He told her.

»You have a funny way of showing it.« Bella said. But she could see the love in his eyes.

John smiled. »Yeah. I know.«

»It's not funny John. I can't live like this. I deserve better than to be left alone in bed.« Bella tore herself from his arms.

»Do you have any idea how I felt?« She looked at him. »Do you know how used I felt? How dirty?«

John sat on the couch and held his head in his hands. His heart was breaking for her.

»It was never my intention to make you feel that way. You have to believe me.« Bella could hear the pain in his voice. »I really do love you.«

Bella stood in front of him. »You make it really hard for me to believe that.« She sat on the floor by his feet. »You sneaked out in the middle of the night after we had sex. And before that you weren't speaking to me for weeks. And now you come back and say you love me but you needed to be somewhere else. Tell me how can I believe you?«

John snorted and looked at Bella. »When you say it like that I sound like a dick.«

»Well if the shoe fits.« Bella raised her eyebrow at him and smirked and then she sighed. »Look I know you have a problem showing your emotions and you are all army like and a hard ass or whatever. But I don't want to live like that. I want a man who'll show me he loves me and not just when we're alone at night but always.«

John raised his hand and pushed a stray hair behind her ear. »I can be that man.«

»Can you?« Bella questioned.

»I can.« John said with conviction. »I killed it.«

Bella frowned. »Killed what?«

»The demon, Bella. We're free.«

»You mean the one that killed your wife?«

John nodded. »That's what I meant that I felt I needed to be somewhere else. I was drawn there.«

Bella sprung up to her knees and started to run her hand over John. »Oh, my god! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did it hurt you?«

John grabed Bella aroud the waist and pulled her to his lap. »I'm fine.« He assured her. »I had a friend help me.«

»Bobby?«

»No, not Bobby.« John pressed his face in her hair. »Her name was Missouri.«

»Was?« Bella questioned as she felt Johns tears on her head.

John nodded. »She was a psychic. I think she somehow lured me there.«

»You think that she made you come to her with her psychic powers?« Bella asked John but there was no disbelief or judging in her voice just curiosity.

»I do. Why else would I decide just then to go to her. I usually call her if I have questions.« John sighed. »I left you alone in bed and I didn't even think to call her until I was almost there. She was possesed by the demon when I got there. She traped it and they were waiting for me.«

»You killed her.«

John sobbed. »I did. She told me to. Please don't hate me.« He held her tightly like his life depended on her.

»Shhhhhh. I could never hate you.« Bella soothed him running her hand through his hair. »If she was a psychic she must have known what she was doing.«

When John nodded she continued. »I get that it was hard to do it. But you did it. You avenged Marys death and honored your friendship to Missouri by doing what she asked you to. And you will continue honoring her with every monster and demon you kill.«

»No.« John shook his head. »I'm gonna quit hunting. We'll find a house and get settled down.«

Bella pushed him back a bit to look at his face. »I can't ask you to do that John. I know how much it means to you when you help people.«

»You're not asking.«

Bella smiled at him. »How about a compromise?«

»What do you mean?«

»We find a place where we can call a home and the boys can go to school, find friends and have hobbies and you can go to the surrounding towns and do what you do best. And after you kill monsters you come home to me. Maybe we could have a baby and a dog. I would like to have a baby. How does that sound?«

John looked at Bella with awe and love on his face. The thought of having a child with her has crossed his mind more than once a day since he met her. »Marry me.«

"Are you serious?" Bella asked baffled.

"I have never been more serious." John smiled at her. "I'll get you a ring and everything too. I was in a bit of a hurry to come back to stop and buy one. But I will, I promise."

Bella nodded, tears gathering in her eyes. "Yes!"

Thank you for reading!