A/N: I know my updates have been random and I am so sorry but work has stepped in. I would like to say that I will start updating on a regular basis but I can't because my computer just permanently crashed on me. I know have to look into getting a new one along with everything else that is breaking on me currently. Enough about that here is the much awaited chapter. As always reviews are welcomed.

"I want you," Alex whispered as she shut the door behind them and quickly pinned Olivia against it, "I want you to take me upstairs and make love to me for the rest of the day."

"Alex," Olivia moaned out as her head hit the door.

"If you're going to argue with me about yesterday, don't bother," Alex whispered as she made her way down Olivia's jaw till she captured her lips in a kiss that was so full of need it made Olivia's knees buckle.

Alex pulled back and smiled to herself when she studied Olivia. She was leaned against the door with her eyes closed, rapid breathing, and a blush that was covering all parts of her that was visible. When she finally opened her eyes to look at her, they were so black with desire that it made Alex shake with fear and excitement. She took Olivia by the hand and led her to the bedroom before she could begin to argue with her.

"Tell me something, detective," Alex said as she pushed Olivia on the bed and quickly straddled her, "How did you worm your way into my heart? After Jess, I swore I would never let anyone else in again. If that was love, I wanted no part of it. I made sure to build up walls and come off as a bitch to deter people and focus solely on my career. Then I met you, and before I knew it, you were chipping away at the blocks until you climbed over and into my heart."

"Because you knew I would never hurt you," Olivia whispered as she cupped Alex's face and brought her lips to hers.

"Make love to me," Alex pleaded as she broke the kiss.

Olivia moaned as she held Alex tight against her and stood up causing Alex to gasp and wrap her legs around her waist. After a few seconds, Alex unlocked her legs and allowed herself to slide down Olivia's body, smiling at the tremble she felt from Olivia.

Alex smiled as she stared into Olivia's brown eyes that were so full of love that it gave her the courage she needed to ask a question that terrified her more than more than the answer would.

"Will you use a strap-on on me?"

"What?" Olivia asked leaning back to look at Alex, "Why?"

"I know what it's like to be tortured and raped with one; I would like to know what it would feel like to be made love to with one and I want to know what that would feel like with you."

"Do you think you're ready for it?" Olivia asked, sitting down on the bed. This was not the direction she saw things heading a few minutes earlier.

"Honestly, I'm not sure," Alex answered sitting next to Olivia, "I'm not sure if it's something that I will ever be ready for, but it is something I want to attempt and attempt with you."

"Okay," Olivia said after a few minutes of silence, "But, to be honest, mine's at my apartment, so if you want to try this, that is fine, but it will have to be after I can go to my apartment."

"Well," Alex mumbled as she looked away ashamed, "I bought one last week."

"Really?"

"I was really hoping that you would agree to this and I wanted to have one in case I could talk you into it. I was afraid that if we had to wait I would lose my nerve and it would never happen."

"You do know that if it never happens that is fine with me."

"Yeah, but I know that this is something you enjoy and would want it."

"You're right, it is something that I enjoy and would love to have with you," Olivia answered deciding that it would be best to go with the truth, "It is something that I want with you and have imagined using one on you several times, but I know and understand your past so that will never happen. "

"So you will just keep on suppressing your desires just to keep me happy?"

"If that's what you call it then, yes, I will. Although, I personally don't see it that way; I see it as making sure you always feel comfortable and safe with me in the bedroom."

"That is until you've had enough and go looking elsewhere because, once again, I can't please a woman."

"Whoa," Olivia whispered as she raised Alex's head so she could look into her eyes, "Honey, you please me in and out of this bedroom. You never need to worry about that."

"But I want to give you everything. You like using toys."

"Where are you getting this information from?" Olivia asked wondering what led her to believe that she wanted to use toys.

"Remember when I told you I was meeting Abbie last week for lunch and had you stay home to relax, only taking Rodriguez with me."

"I do."

"I actually met Stacia for lunch. You keep holding back on me in the bedroom and denying yourself your desires, all because of me. I met her and asked her what did you like in the bed room. She was the one that told me you loved to use toys."

"Alex, each woman is different," Olivia said as she started to pace the bedroom, "I used toys more often with Stacia than I did with the girl I was with before her. She really enjoyed them while the woman before her preferred oral sex than toys. You can't base what I like on just one person. Not to mention, I would have preferred you to come to me not my damn ex."

"I would have if you would be honest with me. Every time I asked about it, you would always say that you are happy with our sex life."

"That's because I am."

"But I can look into your eyes and see that you're holding back, not telling me something."

"Alex…"

"No, I want to know what do you want in this bedroom."

Olivia took a deep breath and slowly exhaled it.

"I want to use toys on you, particularly a strap-on with you because I like the control that it gives me. That very reason is why I will never bring one into this room. One woman has already controlled you with it, I will not be another."

"You're right because you will not control me with it because, as much as it terrifies me, I know that you will stop if I ask."

"Meanwhile, the second I try to push into you, it sends you into a flash back, no, I will not do that."

"I want you to help me past it, Olivia," Alex said reaching out and stopping Olivia from pacing the room, "I want to move past my fear with it and I want you to be the one to help me past it."

"If I hurt you?"

"You won't," Alex said smiling, "As terrified as I am of attempting this, I also feel the safest with it as long as it's with you."

"Are you one hundred percent sure you want to try this?" Olivia asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Yes."

"Then, go get it," Olivia said smiling as she realized that no matter what she would never be able to deny Alex anything.