A/N: This band is honestly amazing, and I love their covers to death. Their version of this song is so much better than the original, I can't even listen to Ellie's anymore.
I would definitely drop by their YouTube channel and give them a go.
19. Love Me Like You Do
Beth POV
Love Me Like You Do by Twenty One Two (Ellie Goulding cover)
As Robert and I walk into the Railroad HQ, we're greeted by a shocked Deacon, which surprises us due to his knowledge of everything that happens.
"Hey! What are you guys doing here?!" Deacon comes over to us, giving me a hug.
"You know, just passing through," I say nonchalantly.
Desdemona hears the commotion and comes over as well. "Well, hello. I'm glad you dropped by. I've been wanting to personally thank you for the help you gave Deacon at Switchboard."
"It wasn't a big deal," I shrug it off. "With the three of us there, it was simple."
"Not from what I've heard." She gives Deacon a hard look.
"You know me, Dez. I have to make everything sound better or I just get bored retelling my stories." His face shows no remorse at his sin of lying—although it is hard to tell behind his ever present sunglasses.
"Well, what's important is that we all got out and got the prototype you needed," I interject.
"That's true," Deacon agrees. "What she says." Turning to me, "Hey, wanna go for a walk?" He looks at Robert, nodding an acknowledgment of sorts to him, to which Robert returns a nod of his own. What happened between these two? I wonder in amusement.
"Uh, sure." I look at Desdemona. "Guess I'll be seeing you later." As I turn back the way we came, Deacon grabs my arm.
"Nah, let's go this way." Confused, I follow him. Is there another door? "Bye, Dez." We walk through a door, out of earshot, and Deacon explains. "We have a secret door in case we need to scram in a hurry. The escape tunnel back at Switchboard helped some of us get out at least." After walking for a few minutes down the tunnel, he stops and about faces, nearly making me collide with him. "What'd you wanna talk about?"
"Um… You were the one to ask if I wanted to go for a walk, implying you're the one that wants to talk."
"Although that normally would be true, it isn't in this case. I mean, we're talking about me here, for God's sake," he feigns insanity—okay, maybe not faking as much as acting on it. "So, what's been going on? You haven't been around since the time you stumbled in here. So, there has to be a reason."
A little embarrassed, I smirk. "You're a sharp-eyed man, aren't you?"
"Gotta be." He stares at me, waiting patiently for an actual response.
A bit sheepish to tell him, I start off slow. "Okay… So, I might have some news. Like… Institute related news."
His jaw goes slack, then he grins. "Like I didn't already know."
"Did you." I'm skeptical, making the question not sound as such.
"Okay, no. But, anyway. Lay it on me." I'm surprised he admitted it.
How am I supposed to word this? I think right before Robert cuts in, telling Deacon everything in a single sentence. "Kellogg gave Beth some blueprints to a teleporter, and the Brotherhood is going to help us with the building it part—they're thinking it'll be done in a week.
I'm about to turn around and get in Robert's face for speaking ahead when Deacon grabs me by my arms and towers over me. "No way!"
Taken a little aback by his response, I lose all annoyance at Robert and just stare at Deacon. "Uh… yes way."
"A teleportation apparatus that can just take you into the Institute?!" He looks utterly dumbstruck. More to himself than us, "So, that's how they move around so quick…" Looking behind me to Robert, "You said them Brotherhood goons are going to have it done in about a week?" I give him a nasty look at his comment on the BOS, which he doesn't notice.
"About a week, yeah. She said they'd let us know if they needed help, but she sounded pretty confident toward that timeframe."
"So soon," Deacon mutters. After a second, "Be right back," and he disappears back the way we came, back toward HQ.
"What do you think he's up to now?" Robert asks a minute after he disappeared.
"No idea. Who's to say—he's so kooky."
After a good ten minutes, he comes back with a holotape in his hand. "Here," he hands it to me. Seeing my confused face, he explains. "We've been after these creeps for decades now. Even the slightest bit of information can help us know how they run—can help us free more synths. I know you didn't know Barb, but please. Do it for me. Just plug that tape into any terminal there and it will suck up more information than you think could fit on it."
"…Okay," I say, putting the holotape into the pouch on Robert's belt. "You can count on it being done, Deacon."
He steps forward and puts his arms around me. Not a light hug like he'd given me before, but a legitimate hug with true emotion behind it. "Thank you, Beth. You're the closest friend I've ever had." I hug him back. Strange how I don't even really know this man, yet I'm so comfortable with him.
I half expected Robert to intervene, but he just walks past me, a small smile on his face, before sitting on a nearby pipe sticking out of the wall. When did he decide to put his jealousy away?
The next six days went by incredibly slow. Nothing on this big, brown earth could have made the time speed up. Not visiting Deacon, not roaming around the ruins of Boston. Not playing billiards in the living room at home, and not even reading from my giant book collection. Robert would try to make me calm down by saying things like, It'll be done when it's done or You've been out here for almost half a year. What's another few days? But nothing worked—I just got more and more anxious.
I actually didn't know what stress was until I learned that the teleporter was ready.
"Hon, there's a Vertibird on the north end," Robert calls out from the front door. Looking back at me in the kitchen, he asks, "Were we expecting BOS company?"
"No," I reply as I make my way through the hallway to him. Looking out at the north end of the island, I see a set of T-60 power armour heading toward us. After it comes closer, I recognize the black hair sitting atop the soldier's head. "Danse!" I run to greet him. "What're you doing here?"
"Proctor Ingram sent me. She wishes me to tell you that the teleporter is ready."
I feel my jaw hit the ground. "It's ready?"
"Yes. She said to come as soon as you see fit. So, I take it you're the one who's going to be using it?"
"Yeah," I wring the back of my neck with my hand. "Wow. It's here…"
"I'm happy for you, soldier." He smiles down at me.
"Please. Just Beth."
"Okay, then. I'm happy for you, Beth. I hope you find your son."
"Me, too." I smile up at him. "Tell her I'll be there in the morning, okay?"
"Will do," he goes to stomp off toward the Vertibird before turning back to me. "I'm running an op tomorrow, so I won't see you before you go. Be careful, Beth. Don't trust anyone."
"Thanks, Danse. I'll try to catch up with you after I get back." He smiles and nods, once again heading to the aircraft.
As I go into the house, I call to Robert, "Where are you?"
"In here," he laughs from the living room. I find him sitting in his favourite blue armchair, reading from his Poe collection. Putting it aside, he asks, "What'd Captain Tin Can want?"
"Oh, hush," I chuckle.
Finally thinking about what he said in full, I realize it's become harder to breathe. My chest feels tight and I start to feel a coughing fit coming on. Robert's face grows from curiosity to concern. "Beth?" I sit on the nearest chair.
I point to the kitchen. "Quantum." He looks confused but goes to the kitchen as I try to slow my breathing—try to remember the breathing exercises I learned as a girl. When he returns with an opened soda, I take a few steady swigs then resume my slowed breathing.
After a few minutes, I start to feel better. "Beth, what's wrong?"
Staying seated, I explain, "I had asthma as a kid. It's a kind of problem with your lung airways—a disease. Didn't think I'd ever have a problem with it again in my adult years. But, emotional stress can cause attacks, so I shouldn't be surprised."
"Are you okay now?" He crouches in front of me, his face still showing apprehension.
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just glad I remembered what to do since I don't have an inhaler. My doctor had told me that focusing on your breathing—slowing it—helps, and sometimes caffeine does, too." I gesture to the Nuka in my hand. "I'm fine," I assure him as he continues to give me a look of concern.
He stands and sits on the arm of my chair, rubbing small circles onto my back. "You don't have to tell me if it'll cause that again."
"No, I need to. Just… give me a few."
After a few minutes had gone by, I take my Quantum back to the kitchen and feel much better. As I come back into the living room, I think of how to word it. Coming up short, I just spit it out.
"The teleporter's ready."
He looks as shocked as I felt when informed by Danse. "What?"
"Yeah. I'm going in the morning." Since he slid down into the chair I was sitting in, I decide to just sit on his lap. Resting my head on his shoulder, I say, "Crazy, huh? Just earlier, I couldn't wait. Now? I don't even know."
"Maybe we should talk to Ingram about it first," he suggests. "You know, get a better gist of what's going on here."
Thinking about it for a few seconds, I nod. "Not a bad idea."
"Soldier." Robert and I are greeted by Elder Maxson—on the ground of the airport.
"Elder—I never thought I'd see you leave the ship, sir," I say in surprise.
"It is an important time for the Brotherhood. I wished to see the project for myself—once I learned it was finally completed." He looks at Ingram, who I just see walking around the module.
"Not my fault, sir. I had adjustments to make. And apparently that Scribe-Initiate thought I didn't mean for them to tell you right away."
Maxson waves a dismissive hand. Turning back to me, "I have been thinking for the better part of this week, soldier. I believe—with your enormous contribution to finding a way into the Institute—that you deserve a promotion. Congratulations, Knight."
I'm shocked. "Wow. Thank you, sir." He nods once. He nods at Ingram as well as he turns and makes his way back to the Prydwen for the evening.
"I'm actually glad you're here, Initiate—I mean, Knight. Congrats, by the way." I utter a small thanks. "Anyway… I've been wanting to talk to you about this thing." She jams a thumb at the machine. "And you, too." She looks at Robert, surprising him, as he's normally left out here in the Brotherhood.
"I'm gonna cut right to it: there's a chance this thing won't even work. We—I—have never dealt with technology concerning teleportation. On the off chance that it doesn't work, it could be a pretty painful death, I won't lie. However, if it does work, it can help us take them down for good. It's up to you. I know you suspect they have your son, and that gives you good reason to go yourself. But if you don't want to be the one, I'm sure someone else will step up to infiltrate the Institute."
I look to Robert at my side, to his face. He looks about terrified to death at what the Proctor just said. As the seconds tick by, in a quiet voice he asks her, "Is there a chance that both of us can go?"
"Afraid not. Sorry, kid," she responds. "I'm surprised you'd want to after what I just said."
Continuing to look at him, I say, "Then you don't know him very well." Seeing the indecision in his eyes, I ask her, "Would it be okay if we talked it over and got back to you in the morning?"
"Of course. I'd hate to say to take your time, but don't just rush through it either, okay?"
I grab Robert's hand and start heading back to our boat. "Thanks, Proctor. Either way, see you in the morning."
"Are you sure?" he asks me as we're cuddled up on our bed, talking through the options we face.
"What other choice do I have, babe? They have Shaun. I can't just back up with my hands raised. I can't just give up." I pause for a second. "I have to do it—I have to go. I've come this far—it'd be stupid to just give up now."
His face betrays the apprehension he's feeling. "What if we just squeezed together really tight? It's the dematerialization they're worried about, right? Well, if we're really close, it shouldn't matter. Right?" He looks at me, sadness in his eyes.
"Doesn't sound like that's an option we have. I'd never ask you to risk your life like that anyway."
"You're not asking—I'm not even offering. It's just a thing. We gotta try it…"
"I'm not letting you. You heard the chances—there's a chance I could die in there. I'm not gonna let you take yourself away from Duncan. He needs his dad, and I'm not going to be the person to take that away from him."
"But—"
"No buts," I cut him off. "I'm going—you're staying. That's final." The sadness in his eyes have grown even more evident, knowing I have a point. He looks so torn. "Hey," I grab his chin, pulling it toward me. "Everything's gonna be okay. I'm going through there, I'm gonna get Shaun, and we can all live happily when we get back, okay? The four of us—the family we've always deserved." Although he smiles, it doesn't touch his eyes. "You know what?"
"What?" he responds in a wounded voice.
"I love you."
He smiles again. Not quite happiness, but something close to it, shows in his face this time. "I love you, too." He cranes his neck and gives me a kiss.
Holding onto the back of his neck as he pulls away, I ask, "Where you going?" Kissing him again, I make the decision I haven't been able to yet. "Hey," I say as I rest my forehead against his.
"Hm?"
"I'm ready."
"To go? Yeah, I know. There's no stopping you once you make up your mind."
"No." I plant a sensual kiss on his neck. "I'm ready." Looking him in the eyes, I see the realization hit.
"…Why now?"
"I don't know what I'm walking into tomorrow. I'd regret it if something happened. Not that anything is going to," I clarify, knowing he's going down the negative road instantly.
With his brows knit together, "You sure?"
"More than anything." I climb on top of him, grabbing his face with my hands, and kiss him with more vigor than I ever have before.
At first, I can feel him hesitating. Whether due to not being sure if I'm lying or for his own reasons, I'm not positive. But as the seconds pass, I feel him melting into it more and more, soon responding with as much a carnivourous and carnal need as I am. As I run my fingers through his hair, I feel him grabbing at my waist, dying to have me closer to him. Scooting closer up his torso, he unzips my vaultsuit, struggling to get it out of his way. Taking my hands from playing in his hair to my fabric, I quickly remove the upper half of my suit, leaving me nearly half naked—only the lower half and my bra remaining. I then move onto his own clothing—set on me not being the only one showing some skin. Already having his duster off helps as I quickly unbutton his shirt, savouring the skin underneath, feeling the scar he showed me back at the metro. Once I managed to wiggle out of the other half of my clothing, the rest of his follows suit. As he flips me onto my back, I can't help the giggle that escapes my lips. He's smiling from ear to ear—one of the happiest faces I've even seen him wear. After a moment, it starts to fade—being replaced by a bit of trepidation in his eyes.
"I'm sure," I encourage him again. "There's nothing more I could possibly want right now." I caress his cheek. "…What are you waiting for?"
As I wake in the morning, I can't help but to feel different than all the other days I've woken up in this bed. I feel more vulnerable, more exposed—quite literally, as I realize I'm naked. But I also feel more vibrant and alive than I ever have on any other morning.
I finally open my eyes to see Robert, covered with nothing more than the blanket and myself. And snoring as loudly as humanly possible. I can't help but to chuckle, all the while hoping I don't wake him. He's so peaceful when he's asleep… I can't dare wake him up right now.
After a few minutes pass—and I let my brain travel through the past, through all what happened last night—I come to remember the whole reason behind it, the whole reason I've been trudging through this wasteland. Before meeting him, of course.
The Institute awaits.
As if he could hear my thoughts, Robert wakes up, his eyebrows instantly scrunching together—before opening his eyes even.
"Is it tomorrow already?" He takes his free hand, as one of them is always placed on me in bed, and rubs his eyes, blinking into the morning light as he lifts his head to the time on my Pip-Boy.
"Afraid so, love." He slams his head back onto the pillow with a grunt.
As he hugs me to him, he says, "I changed my mind. You can't go. We'll just stay here and let some Brotherhood dude go and bring Shaun back."
"You know I can't do that, Robert. I have to find him myself." He just grunts again, his way of angrily giving in. I lean up onto my elbow and wait for him to look at me. "It won't take long. And as I've said—I'll say it again—everything is going to be okay." I stand as I say, "Now, help me pick out some clothes."
He looks after me with a smirk as I walk to the nearby bureau. "What if I don't want you to get dressed?" He stands and moves up behind me, hugging me to his chest. "What if I wanna enjoy the view?"
"Well, you can't see much from there," I tease him, turning around to hug him back. "Now, help me pick out some clothes," I repeat.
"Why do I need to help you pick out what you never stop wearing?" He retorts, sitting on the side of the bed.
"Well…" I start as I dig through the drawers. "I figured that suit is old hat by now. And now that I've officially been ruined by the wasteland…" I look back at him with a smirk of my own, to which he smiles almost sheepishly. "I thought maybe it's about time I wear some Commonwealth attire." I pull out some poor dead drifter's outfit. "What about this?"
He smiles at me. "You'll look great, no matter what you wear." His smile turns into that smirk of his again. "I still say nothing at all."
"Oh, cause that's such a great idea. I totally want to go not only to the Brotherhood like that, or even the Institute like that. But I definitely want Shaun to see me in the nude." I laugh. "You're ridiculous."
"I'm ri-what-ulous?" His never ending smirk beams on.
"Oh my gosh!" I jump on him, throwing my new clothes to the side.
"Nice outfit, Knight," Ingram greets me as I walk up to her in the mess hall.
"Thanks," I reply. "Ready to get this show on the road?"
"So, you're going in after all?" She seems a little surprised.
"Of course. My son needs me." I grip Robert's hand. "Besides, it's not like I don't have a reason to come back."
"How cute." Her face doesn't show the emotion in her voice. "Well, I'll be ready here in about twenty minutes. I'll grab Maxson on the way down. He said he wanted to be present." She turns back to her breakfast. "See you down there," she says around a mouthful.
As Robert and I head down to the airport where the teleporter was built, I start to feel my first bout of nerves. Real nerves. Not like what caused my minor asthma attack yesterday, or even what I was feeling this morning, almost dreading this. I actually feel… happy… knowing that Shaun is naught but a few hours away, at most.
Deep in thought, Robert almost scares me when he hands me something: a holotape. "Don't forget about this—for Deacon."
"How could I forget?" I ask—although I already had—and tuck it into one of my pockets—Pockets! Finally! "I mean, you know he's my favourite." He raises a brow in a look that says, Oh, really? "I'm just kidding." I stretch up onto my toes and give him a kiss as I hear a man behind me clear his throat, cutting my affection short.
"Knight." I turn to see Elder Maxson with his hands behind his back. Always such formal manners. I salute him. "At ease." He waves his hand. "I came here to see the teleporter work for myself. Some things cannot be described adequately through documentation, you understand."
"Yes, sir."
Ingram walks up from behind him, having heard our conversation from the look on her face. "In due respect, I think my reports are good enough, sir. But… have it your way. Let's get this baby booted up." She goes up to the control panel, flipping switches as she goes.
With the machine humming to life, Maxson once again gains my attention. "Contact is going to be broken once you step through this, so I'm going to say something, and I wish you to remember it:
"We have reason to believe there's a woman known as Madison Li in the Institute. She has been a part of the Brotherhood before, but exiled herself from the Capital Wasteland to here, in the Commonwealth. Most likely, she is there. If so, find her and convince her to join us once again. We have projects that could use her expertise."
"Will do, sir."
At this time, the module is running at full power, ready to be used at a moment's notice. Maxson stands back as he prepares to see a human being disappear before his very eyes—Ingram is still busily typing away at the control panel.
"Whenever you're ready, Knight," she says, "go ahead and step onto the platform."
I turn to Robert. His face is nothing more than a smooth mask to outsiders—but I know him all too well. Right underneath his carefully composed face, he's hiding his discomfort, anger, and just plain unhappiness.
"Hey," I grab his attention. "I'll see you in a little bit."
He looks down at me, his façade slipping however slightly. His tone confirms what I already knew. "Just a little bit, okay? I can't handle losing someone a second time. Especially you." He bends down, leaning his forehead against mine as he wraps me in an embrace. After a beat, "I love you, Beth. Please come back."
"You're acting like I'm leaving you for good," I grin, gaining a small one from him as well. "Yes, just a little bit." I hug him tightly to me. "I love you, too, Robert."
Looking down at him once I step onto the platform, I smile one last time before feeling a bolt of electricity jolt through my body.
A/N: Finally, they bumped uglies. Sorry—I had to say it.