Bachelortte

Okay…I am NEVER drinking again! I know that's a statement that is often used by moronic sorority girls who can't hold down a single jello shot. But trust me when I say that I do not take that particular phrase lightly and as such do not use it…ever. Mainly because I pride myself on the fact that I have hold down my liquor like a certain farmboy can hold me down when I go a little cokoo. No joke…you're talking to a girl who drank straight vodka shots with Russian Generals when she was 15 (not that I promote underage drinking). Unlike some people (who are complete sticks in the mud) I enjoy going down to the Ace of Clubs for happy hour, maybe drink a couple cold ones, and possibly catch some Monday night football. It's called having fun…some farmboy's might want to try it.

However; last night…I went too far. I swear…there's something about weddings and me that just doesn't mix. I mean I have now gone off the rails at two engadement parties and my cousin' Bachelorette party. I think I need to start avoiding anything to do with weddings from now on.

Ha…I would love to see that happen considering she's my maid of honor. Although I can't argue with my cousins' logic…she and weddings do not seem to mix well. I know I shouldn't be hijacking Lois' blog but serves her right for leaving her computer open when she left to go do some extra work at the Planet. She knows the rules…if it's opened all bets are off. Not my fault she forgot.

In case you all are wondering…my name is Chloe. I'm Lois' cousin and a "certain farm boy's" best friend. Oh man…I can't believe she's got it so bad for Clark. Of course Jimmy (my fiancé) has been at if for years. But to actually read her talk like this…well it's kind of baffling actually. But considering how she was last night I realized I should not be surprised at all.

In my defense…I told Lois that I didn't need a Bachelorette party because I am perfectly happy marrying Jimmy. However, Lois being Lois wouldn't listen and had a party anyway…in Metropolis. Her excuse for not having just a small party in our apartment, "Chlo…it's Smallville that most exciting thing to do here is to go downstairs and whip ourselves two Latte's". In case you haven't noticed once my cousin gets an idea in her head it's nearly impossible to get her to changer her mind.

So we went to Ace of Clubs…we drank…we danced…we drank some more. And yes…my cousin does have a knack for holding down enormous amounts of alcohol…but even she has a hard time holding down anything on an empty stomach. Everything was fine…until the club opened up for Karaoke. Now…honestly I didn't think my cousin was that drunk…at the time. She loves singing Karaoke, even when she's sober and she has quite a great voice. But see…Lois is a Whitesnake girl. Die hard Whitesnake fan…she live and breaths there music. So it wasn't until she started belting, "You belong with Me" by Taylor Swift (who she has openly bashed constantly) that I realized just how drunk she really was. Lois would NEVER in her right mind sing that song. And knowing this I may be taken some video (because I knew she would never believe me unless I showed her).

When I finally got her home she kept saying "He'll come…someday…he'll be mine". They were mumblings and they did not sound like my confidant cousin but after reading this blog I've got to say…it makes sense. Do I believe she met her future children…not really. I mean there are weird things in Smallville but time travel…I doubt it. I definitely can't believe she thought for a second they were aliens. I swear…she has such an overactive imagination. Clark…is about as normal as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on wonder bread.

I almost want to show Clark the video of Lois…but I know she will never forgive me if I do…she's still not ready to admit she loves him. Plus I can tell she's still nervous about Lana…not that I really think she has much to worry about. As much as I love Lana and Clark…they just aren't right for each other. Clark for some reason feels he has to carry the weight of the world and Lana I don't always think can accept that. She can respect it…but not accept it. I hope I get to see her at my wedding tomorrow but I won't hold my breath. Scratch that…today.

Oh my god…I'm getting married today! I can't wait to marry Jimmy…he's everything I want in a husband and more. We've been through so much…especially last week when I had those awful headaches. I felt like I was losing my mind. But Jimmy was so supportive and great. I can't wait to become Mrs. Chloe Olson. I better get going…have a great night…and don't tell Lois what I said. CS