A/N: I don't say it enough but I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart, for everything. You guys will never know what it means to me that you take time out of your busy days to read something that I have wrote. It truly means a lot, thank you.

"I love you," Alex whispered as she gently kissed Olivia on the cheek before quietly exiting the room.

Olivia laid in bed keeping her breathing as even and steady as she could while Alex silently made her escape from the room. It was a game that they had both come to know and play quite well. Alex knew as soon as she moved and left that Olivia was awake. Olivia had come to learn that Alex always needed sometime to herself after they made love, especially if it was something new that they had tried.

The first couple of times that Alex had done it, Olivia had thought she had done something wrong or Alex had decided it had been a mistake to be with her even though she swore she would never regret being with her. After the third time of Alex making her escape, Olivia had asked her why did she always sneak out, especially if she knew that Olivia would always wake up as soon as she left the bed. Alex had explained that it had nothing to do with her, but she needed sometime alone to process what had happened between them. There were times that she was still coming to terms that she could have a happy and loving sexual relationship, where she could explore her desires and not made to feel like she was a slut.

Olivia who had years of dealing with and helping victims more than understood what Alex was saying. One of the hardest things that victims had to overcome was learning that despite what had happened to them they could have a healthy and loving sexual relationship with someone. She would always give Alex about twenty minutes to herself before she would roll out of bed and go in search of her.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked as she leaned against the door to the kitchen and watched Alex. She was standing at the kitchen sink just staring at a spot on the wall.

"I'm fine," Alex answered as she turned around and smiled at the detective.

Olivia just raised her eyebrow at Alex.

"Honestly, I am fine, Olivia," Alex answered again, "Actually, I'm shocked."

"Shocked, why?" Olivia asked as she took a seat at the island.

"First of all, I didn't have a flashback," Alex answered handing Olivia a diet soda from the fridge, "Second of all, I never knew it could be so pleasurable."

"I will admit that I was shocked that you didn't have a flashback and honestly that you went through with allowing me to make love to you using it. There was a moment there that you were teetering on a flashback, but it never came."

"When I closed my eyes, all I saw was her over me and I knew the pain that I was about to endure," Alex answered as she stepped between Olivia's legs and smiled at Olivia while she ran her fingers through her hair, "But then I heard your voice and you were doing everything you could to keep me feeling safe. I knew with just the sound of your voice that I was in the safest place I could be."

"Alex, I will never hurt you."

"I know, honey, I know," Alex sighed as she closed her eyes and laid her head on Olivia's chest, "Which is one of the reasons why it was so pleasurable. I knew you would never hurt me. I knew that you would stop when I wanted you to, no questions asked. It was pleasurable because for the first time ever I felt safe enough to surrender complete control. Most importantly it was so pleasurable because I love you, because I'm in love with you."

"I love you too, Alex, but you…."

"Deserve someone who loves me and cares for me," Alex stated interrupting Olivia from the speech she knew she was about to hear, "Someone who will respect me and never harm me. Someone who will go out of their way to make sure I am always happy. To me that someone is you and no one else."

"But I…"

"Deserve the world handed to you on a silver platter. Someone who will love you unconditionally despite your past that you feel shades you and makes you unlovable. Someone who knows and understands what you go through on a daily basis with your job. For you, that someone is me."

"Pretty sure of yourself there, aren't you, counselor?" Olivia said laughing.

"I'm sure that I love you and that you love me," Alex answered smiling, "I am also sure that we are what each other needs no matter what you say or what I say. Olivia, we understand each other better than anyone else ever will. We both know when to walk away and when to stay and fight with each other. We know that no matter how bad our fights get, and they have gotten pretty bad, that in the end we can talk it out. What matters most to me is that I know no matter how bad the arguments get I am and will forever be safe with you."

"I can see why you are such an excellent prosecutor."

"I am an excellent prosecutor because I work with some pretty outstanding detectives who know what it takes to get the job done and done correctly."

"We do try," Olivia said as she ran her hands up and down Alex's back, "Now that we have gotten a little side tracked, let's get back on track."

"Meaning?"

"What happened earlier, how are you really?"

"I told you, Olivia, I'm fine. I'm not scared or terrified and I didn't have a flashback, but as we have learned that doesn't mean there isn't one waiting to come."

"True."

"But what I can tell you is that is something that I did immensely enjoy and would love to experience with you again although I'm not sure of what type of frequency we will be using it."

"We will use it as frequently as you like, all you have to do is tell me that you want to use it."

"What about when you want to use it? It is not fair that we will only use it when I want to."

"How about this?" Olivia asked wanting to reach a happy medium with Alex, "If I am in the mood to use it, I will let you know. If you are okay with it, we will use it, but if you're not okay with it, we will not use it. Never think that you are not satisfying me if we're not using it because, believe me, Alex, I am more than satisfied with our sex life without using toys, okay?"

Alex smiled and nodded as she brushed the tears from her eyes, just when she didn't think it was possible to fall even more in love with Olivia she would find herself falling even more for the brunette.