Chapter 23
Fine, be that way.
Rick hadn't pressed her on the ride home and no-one came to fetch her for dinner that night. The next morning Cap pulled her aside for a long conversation over breakfast. Although she felt better for it, her nightmares returned.
For days afterwards, she'd be awoken by Sheila's hands on her shoulders. The older woman would hear her cries from the kitchen.
That would result in another conversation with Cap.
It took them three more days to clear the mall and she continued working with Rick. It took the better part of the next week for everything they brought back to sorted, distributed or stashed away.
She'd been fairly successful at avoiding Daryl too. Emma skipped a few meals or ate at odd times. She'd switched watches to ensure she was on the same watch as him, albeit on the other side of the fort. If anyone noticed, they didn't say anything to her. She did, however, hear grumblings about Daryl's impolitic behavior.
She had been surprised at how many heart strings she had attached to Daryl. It had been foolish to think she could keep everything casual.
After two weeks of this, it was Michael that finally called her on it. "You need to stop." He'd found her reading in the common room.
She knew what he was talking about. "I just don't want to deal with his shit."
That got a raised eyebrow out of Michael. "When did you learn how to swear?" He sat in the second armchair, laying his crutches on the floor.
"I'm serious Michael. I told you what he said. I won't be treated like that." She set her book down and stared up at the ceiling.
"I'm not saying you should." Michael agreed with her. "I'm just saying that you've got to stop hiding."
"What else am I supposed to do?"
"Nobody ever told you how to get over a break-up?" Michael smirked.
"I wasn't aware that Daryl and I had anything TO break up." She sighed.
"Well, firstly, you have to stop avoiding him." Michael drummed his fingers on the armchair. "Secondly, you have to start acting like you don't care about him. Ignore him, as much as possible without being obviously rude."
"Ignore him? That's ridiculous. I'm not some teenager."
"Trust me. Just go about your business and don't look at him. Don't acknowledge that he's there."
This sounded like the most retarded plan she'd ever heard of. "The point being?"
"It'll drive him crazy. He'll realize what a dick he's been and he'll come around."
"And if it doesn't?" Emma asked.
Michael sighed. "If you keep acting like he doesn't matter to you, then one day he won't."
"I really don't see how this will work."
"Got any better ideas? 'Cause what you're doing isn't really constructive."
She had to agree with that.
}.{
The plan of ignoring Daryl was actually easier than she thought it would be.
They had been hit with a bout of freezing rain that covered everything in two inches of ice. Getting anywhere in the fort was challenging. There had already been a few accidents. The big council had decided to keep everyone in the confines of the fort. This meant there was a lot of free time. The frozen parade square also made for great skating. Given that they were in Canada, this meant hockey.
Lots and lots of hockey.
Emma dodged a stray puck from the current game as she skated across the square. The weather was bitterly cold today and she wasn't looking forward to taking her watch on the north wall. Although they'd pulled off the walls at night, they still had a day watch. It was essential that they keep their eyes on the skies to see if they could spot signs of smoke that might indicate other survivors.
A cheer behind her told her that someone had scored. There was a good game going and a crowd was watching, she heard Daryl's shouts in there. While he refused to strap on skates he did enjoy watching the games. She resisted the urge to look back.
She removed her skates at the base of the steps leading up to the wall and slipped on her winter boots. The climb up to the second floor wasn't bad, but once you got close to the top of the wall things got slippery. The freezing rain had run down the steps, covering them with ice.
Ice that hadn't seemed inclined to melt.
Maggie was on watch when she got there. "Hey Em." She waved a gloved hand. "It sounds like a good game."
"I think they're short one, you should go join them." She passed Maggie her skates "You can take mine if you like."
"I've got mine here." Maggie swung a bag up onto her shoulder. "I didn't see anything out there today, should be quiet."
Emma nodded as Maggie headed off down the stairs. She leaned up on the wall and surveyed her side of the fort. The trees in the woods were iced over, making them sparkle like diamonds in the sunlight. Archer pulled a pair of dark sunglasses out of her pocket. It would do her no good to get a headache now. She doubted that Daryl would grant her another massage.
Her body tingled at the memory. Despite her careful untying of her heart strings her body betrayed her. It craved his touch. She sighed, thinking it might have been better for her to have never gone down that road with him. It's hard to miss something you've never had.
Think of something else. She ordered herself. Watch was the toughest place to be, there were few distractions and her thoughts often drifted to Daryl. Anything but him…
}.{
"Hey" Shit, it was Daryl.
"You come to take watch?" She asked, not looking back at him.
"No."
That's right, Sal's my relief today. He wasn't due for another ten minutes. She didn't know what to say, so she took a page out of Daryl's book and said nothing.
}.{
It took Daryl awhile to work up the courage to seek Emma out after he saw her head up to her watch. He damn near didn't go up. Stop being such a pussy. She don't bite…much.
When he finally did manage to climb the icy steps, he found her leaning on the wall. She hadn't heard him come up behind her. He thought about hightailing it out of there. Never thought Daryl Dixon'd be 'fraid of a girl.
Fuck it. "Hey." He said, kicking himself. Why the fuck did I say that?
She didn't even look at him. He couldn't see her eyes behind the big dark sunglasses she was wearing. "You come to take watch?" She asked all casual-like.
He briefly wondered if he should lie. Time to grow a pair, Dixon. "No."
He was disappointed when she didn't answer. Fuck me, he thought. He had no idea how to make her talk. She'd been skittish since he'd been rough on her at the mall. She made herself scarce 'real quick, which had been fine by him since he'd been pissed at her.
Pissed at myself. He corrected. It had been his fault she'd nearly gotten bit by that walker. He was supposed to have her back and instead he'd walked off in a huff like some woman. He'd been fuckin' terrified when he realized how close he came to losing her. Then he'd been pissed that it had mattered.
She was just a nice piece of ass, just a good lay.
He told himself over and over again that she wasn't special. Sure, once he'd gotten over the idea that nobody'd tapped that ass before he'd been pretty pleased. He liked the idea of having something clean and new just for himself. He enjoyed breakin' in that tight little pussy of hers.
Good times, he thought.
To make matters worse, he'd seen her face the day she'd put down that kid. He'd hated himself for pawning her off on Rick. He knew Rick'd look after her, but he'd kicked himself for not being there. He'd wanted to hug her and tell her to forget 'bout it. But he didn't. He'd been a goddam pussy about it all.
When Emma stopped hidin' that threw him for a fuckin' loop. At least if she was avoidin' him he knew she still cared. Now, it was like he didn't matter. She floated around the fort just as she had before. Gettin' shit done.
He didn't like that. If he was tied up in knots about the whole thing she oughta be too. Goddamnit, he missed her. He'd even taken to walking by her room when he woke up in the morning. A coupl'a times he heard her talkin' in her dreams.
Nightmares. All o'them. He could tell by the sounds she made. He'd resisted the urge to go in her room and wrap her warm body up in his arms. Instead, he'd send Sheila in and beat a retreat. Chickenshit.
"Hey Daryl, Archer." Sal had arrived. Fuuuuck. Don't be here to relieve Emma.
"Hey Sal," Emma turned and smiled at the other man. "All quiet out there today."
"Not fit for man or beast." Sal slapped a hand on Emma's back. "Best get inside and warm up."
"Thanks Sal." She walked right past him and headed for the stairs.
"You walking the wall?" Sal asked as Daryl stared after Emma.
"Naw, I was just leavin'." He should go after her. Nut up, Dixon.
Daryl took hurried steps to catch up to Emma, she'd already disappeared down the stairwell when he hit the first step and slipped on the second.