Boneheaded detective

"Do you need any help?" Clarabelle asked.

"Uh, Yes! Does he have a pulse?" she frowned and pressed her fingers on his neck.

"No… Yes! But it's slow." Alice sighed and shook him awake. "Want me to get the boneheaded detective?"

"Yes."

"OK." she pranced out.

Boneheaded detective…, she thought, best adjective ever! she couldn't help but giggle.

Clarabelle came back, "Here you go." Skulduggery and Valkyrie walked passed her and looked at Fletcher.

"I resent being called a boneheaded detective." he muttered as Valkyrie rushed to the bedside.

"Shut up." she snapped, "Fletch? Fletcher, you idiot wake up!" she smacked his head.

"What the hell? Why are you doing that?"

"He's awake, Emera. He wants me to kiss him awake. Don't you, Sleeping Beauty?"

"Guilty as charged." he weakly chuckled.

"What were you doing out there? You almost got killed!"

"Yeah, but I didn't."

"Seriously, why?"

"Because someone was trying to kill Emera, thought I should warn you-"

"So you teleported to the parking lot in the middle of the night and froze?"

"Hey, where I was it was noon! I got into some trouble with a Adept… or was he a Warlock? Anyways, I didn't think of the time here and the weather. I accidentally took him with me and he… I guess, he paralyzed me. I couldn't move, couldn't breath. The end." he smiled blue lips, almost unnaturally blue.

"Why are your lips so blue?" Emera randomly asked.

"Oh, I was sucking on a Ring Pop."

"I'm not even going to ask."

"Can we get back to business?" Skulduggery suggested.

"Right, sorry. What was his name?"

"I don't really remember, to be honest."

"Great." Alice mumbled, "another hit-man paid to kill me!"

"Relax, I'll get Rife on it." Valkyrie assured.

"Perfect." Skulduggery mumbled. Valkyrie glanced at him and dug out her phone. "Calling Rife?"

"Yep…Rife? You there?… Yes, fine, where are you? You're late… Oh, sorry…" she took another pause to listen, "uh-huh, yeah, got it… not now please? I need you to do some nerd-work… you heard me. ASAP, bye."

"Nerd-work?" Skulduggery asked, 'grinning'

"Yeah, he knows how to check the security crap."

"And I don't?"

"No, you're old fashioned, kind of. He's my nerd."

"Ahem?"

"He's my nerd. You're my skeleton. Easy as that." she patted his shoulder. "I think he's here, bye."

"Are her and Rife, like, that close?" Alice asked.

"Can't be, he's gay." he simply said, "there is no way."

Valkyrie waited for Rife at the door. It took him about five minutes more after the call ended. Vendetta, not with him.

"Where is she?" Valkyrie asked.

"Sick, coughing hysterically, that's why I was late."

She smiled, "You are like the human form of Skulduggery."

"Hey, no I'm not." he protested.

"Prove it, Tenterhooks."

"I-I-I… I see myself as Sherlock.

"Benedict Cumberbatch?"

"Not the series, the Sherlock Holmes."

"Why?"

"Well, he's not a fighter, he's a thinker. Like me."

"Alright, then." he walked to his office and got his computer booted up. "are you hacking the Sanctuary's security system.

"No, hacked, I hacked it."

"When?"

"Long time ago." he started typing in commands and achieved what happened. "Which time frame?"

"Uh, eleven-thirty, but speed it up."

"Done." Rife turned his monitor to face her. At the frame of eleven-fifty-six Fletcher and the man appeared on screen. They tackled, threw punches until the man got, what appears to be, bored and chops Fletcher at the left temple. Fletcher collapses on the ground and the man runs off screen.

"Did the camera get a glimpse of his face?"

"Uh, let me see." typing in more commands, he finds a frame where the man is about flip Fletcher over, it catches a pixilated cameo of him.

"Is that enough?"

"It's what we got." he scrolls his mouse and zooms in closer, making it more pixilated.

"That didn't work."

"Hold on." he said hastily. The contrast and the resolution change to get a better look.

"Scan his face!"

"OK, OK." he got up a software and uploaded the man's cameo. It pinpointed areas of his face and started flipping through mug shots of criminals. "Since it's still a little blurred it might take a while, possibly a day. I recommend you keep an eye out for her." he advised.

"Thanks Rife."

"No worries."

"Come with me."

"Alright, then." he followed her to Fletcher's bedside. But Skulduggery and Alice were not present. "Is Fletcher OK?"

"Peachy. Do you know where they are?"

"At my office. Or at the front."

"Why would they look there?"

"He's a boneheaded detective, am I right."

"More than you think."

Strange ending, strange title; deal with it! Who is this mystery man? An OC? Yeah he is. It's up to you for the name (must involve the word 'death') bye!