Chapter Eighteen

Seeing Red

Skyhold, Inquisition Fortress

Frostback Mountains, border between Ferelden and Orlais

'Benet D'or, former Marquis of Sahrnia, Orlais. You are hereby formally charged with engaging in banditry and criminal activity, appealing to the Inquisition under false pretences, endangering the lives of those in Sahrnia and surrounding regions, endangering the lives of Inquisition members, and attempted blackmail and extortion against the Inquisition,' Malakar said as he leant forward in the Inquisitor's throne, 'do you have anything to say in your defence?'

Benet fought against his bonds, but the guards held him firm. He spat at Malakar's feet. 'I will not be judged by a knife-ear.'

Hushed gasps broke through the hall, whispers about D'or's insolence filtering through the crowd. Valina had to grasp both Cullen's and Dranus' wrist to keep them from stepping forward in anger.

Malakar waved off the remark, though Valina noticed his jaw tighten. 'Because you have no living heirs or relatives, we hereby requisition your estate and resources to support the war effort.'

'What shall we do with him?' Josephine asked. She had been briefed on the specifics of the events on the return of the six companions – and one prisoner – to Skyhold. It was rare for the ambassador to show so much emotion whilst observing judgement, but her disgust at Benet was palpable.

'Lock him in the cells. We may have more questions for him.'

'I'll go ensure the guards don't make him too comfortable,' Cullen whispered at the announcement, slipping from Valina's hold. He marched toward Benet, directing the soldiers.

Benet cursed vehemently at the sentence as he was dragged away but every insult rolled off the Inquisitor's shoulders. Malakar rose from his chair with a quiet grace, despite the weight of the responsibility that rested on him, his lithe frame unbowed even in the face of hate and intolerance.

Dorian appeared at his side, reaching for him.

'I'm fine,' Malakar said as Dorian's fingers brushed against the back of his hand.

'I can still kill him if you like,' Dorian said. Although the mage smirked, the flash of menace in his gaze belied any levity.

'No, ma vhenan. We really do need to question him.'

Dorian sighed. 'Ah yes, that blasted chest.'

'What chest?' Dranus asked.

Malakar and Dorian glanced at the older mage as he approached with Valina.

'We found it in the lower rooms. Magic has been used to seal it,' Malakar said, 'Valina could not pick the lock, and even a combined effort with myself and Dorian could not decipher the magic.'

'That seems odd,' Dranus said, 'there's no magic blood in the D'or family.'

'If he's hiding something, it will be in there, then,' Dorian said.

Valina stepped closer. 'Let me talk to him.'

Malakar frowned, clearly recalling the events of the previous night. 'I'm not sure that's a good idea.'

'I'll take my father,' Valina said, 'Benet may have formed some delusions that I won't kill him–'

'But he is terrified of me,' Dranus said, glancing down at his daughter. He was yet to have a moment to reconcile with her, let alone ask her to explain all that had happened in Sahrnia, but now was not the time to push. He returned his gaze to Malakar. 'I'm also best suited to finding out about the magic you mentioned.'

The moment dragged on but Malakar eventually offered a reluctant nod. 'All right,' he said, 'Dorian, could you go with them? I should respond to all the letters which have surely piled up while I've been away.'

Dorian grasped Malakar's wrists. 'Not so fast,' he said, drawing the lithe mage closer, a smile curving his lips, 'you'll not be going anywhere without a goodbye.' He pressed a soft kiss on Malakar's forehead, then trailed his lips to Malakar's. Malakar could not hide his smile as he savoured Dorian's touch, the caress of bronzed fingers as they swept pale strands from Malakar's eyes. 'I'll join you soon, Amatus,' Dorian said, words resonating with promise.

Malakar was reluctant to leave after the taste of affection, but Dorian gave him a subtle push, a reassuring smile on his lips. The Inquisitor disappeared through the door to his quarters with a backwards glance and Dorian could not hide his smile.

'No time to waste,' Dorian said, 'I'd quite like to get to bed before dawn if I can.'

They followed the path the guards had taken, travelling down the front steps of the main hall and to the single door in the opposite wall.

'I need you both to be ready,' Valina said as they began their descent to the cells, 'I'm going to provoke him.'

'Valina, I'm not sure–'

'Trust me,' she said, glancing at Dranus, 'when I signal, freeze him.'

Dranus looked sceptical, but he nodded curtly. She looked at Dorian and he nodded also.

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Valina drew her coat on tighter, tucking her hood around her neck to stay warm in the exposed dungeon. It had been a hard ride to return before dusk and now night fell sharply, the famed Frostback winds ripping through Skyhold.

The dungeon was well lit by torches and a large stone vessel in the centre of the room. The flickering flame threw shadows across the damp stone, a beacon in the frigid air that provided a modicum of warmth.

Valina approached the cell first. Benet was bundled in the back corner on the rough mat, a coarse blanket the only item he was allowed. He had wrapped it around himself to stave off the cold. He glanced up when he heard their approaching footsteps, his eyes locking onto Dranus. Valina saw the twitch of his jaw, the nervous tick as he faced a man he truly feared.

'You've brought your daddy to finish me off, have you?' Benet asked with a humourless laugh, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders, 'I should have known that the Inquisition would be so easily corrupted by the Voclains. Bought your way in, yes?'

Valina crouched at the bars, tapping them with her fingers. The iron sang at her touch and Benet met her gaze. His usually perfectly preened hair hung limply over his face and dried blood still clung to his pallid skin from the broken nose, his stormy eyes hollow as he stared at her.

'You are a shadow of the man you used to be.'

Benet's gaze flickered down. She could not see his face in the shadows, though she had no doubt his eyes churned with emotions. He rose to his feet with unsteady movements. As he moved forward Valina stood up but she did not step back, even when he slammed his hands into the bars.

No man would make her cower in fear.

Benet curled long fingers around the bars, leaning into the light. 'How would you know?' he asked, 'you never wanted anything to do with me.'

'I would have been your friend, had you not obsessed with marriage,' Valina said, and his stormy eyes flickered at her words, 'I quite enjoyed your company when it was not overshadowed by your requests but you never seemed to understand the meaning of the word 'no' despite how many times you heard it.'

A sickening curl draped his lips, more of a bearing of teeth than a smile. 'I never heard you say no to that Ferelden dog last night, Valina.'

'Oh, you heard that?' she said with mock embarrassment, 'I'm afraid the Commander forgot to close the door. I did warn you that I'm a screamer.'

Benet sneered. 'I'm quite glad that I never had you. Your cunt must be filthy, soiled by lowlife Fereldens like Rutherford.'

Valina held her hand up, silencing Dranus and Dorian before they could snap back at his remark. A slow smile curled on her lips. 'It certainly is after Cullen filled it with his seed last night,' she said, making sure to hold his gaze, 'I'm afraid we made quite a mess on one of your desks, Benet. The floor and bed were not spared, either.'

A vicious sound escaped Benet as he launched himself at her, reaching through the bars, face pressed against the iron, his fingertip brushing against Valina's cheek before his arm froze in place.

'I'm assuming that was the signal,' Dorian said, his hand still raised. He glanced to Dranus. 'Ah, you too. Excellent.'

The mages lowered their hands.

'Well done,' Valina said, moving closer to Benet. Even frozen his eyes followed her, watching as she reached through the bars. She began to search his clothes, starting with the pockets.

'What are you looking for?

'Something that might unlock that chest,' she said as she crouched and began to pat Benet down at his ankles, working up, 'where do you keep something that you value?

Dranus touched his amulet on instinct. 'Close.'

Valina nodded as she reached Benet's hips. 'So, it's a fair assumption that whatever opens the chest is something he wears on his person. We searched his person this morning but found nothing. So, I suggested we leave him alone in his quarters for a half hour before we left and now…' She ran her hands over his chest, reaching his breastbone, her palm landing over something hard. She glanced at Dorian with a smirk.

'Huh,' Dorian said, 'stupid fool fell for it.'

Valina took the pin her mother had made from her coat, using the sharp edge to split the fabric of his shirt. A large pendant hung from an ornate chain, the centre emitting a soft red glow. As soon as her eyes fell upon it Valina stepped back, pushing Dorian and Dranus behind her.

'Both of you go. Find Dagna and Varric. Send them down at once,' she said, never daring to lift her gaze from the pendant, 'I think I know what caused Benet's madness.'

The atmosphere in the war room was heavy, thick with the weight of Dagna's words. Although the dwarf had left the room, no one seemed willing to speak as they stared at the amulet that lay in the middle of the war table. The corrupting substance glowed softly, emitting a light that could almost be mistaken as soothing.

Cullen cleared his throat, breaking the heavy silence. 'Eve, the servant girl, said that Benet's disposition changed rapidly about five years ago,' he said, his wary gaze locked on the item, 'as much as I loathe the man, I don't doubt that this amulet is responsible.'

Varric grimaced. 'If he's been exposed to red lyrium for so long, why does he still look so… human?'

'Perhaps the magic that was used to create the amulet contained the worst of the corruption?' Leliana said, dragging her eyes away from the red glow, 'so only his mind was affected.'

'It would explain a lot,' Valina said as she leant closer, 'we'll give Benet some time to rest. With the amulet gone, we can only hope that some of his former self will return, but we still need to find out if it unlocks that chest.' She reached for the amulet and Cullen caught her wrist. She glanced up, catching the shadows that flickered in his gaze.

'It doesn't have to be you.'

'I'm not susceptible to it like a mage,' she said, staring into the tawny depths, 'and I don't want it anywhere near you.'

Cullen's grip tightened on her wrist, his eyes churning with memories, but she did not release his gaze. Slowly, he relented, and Valina reached again for the amulet; the table lay empty but for the pins of missions and battles, the amulet was gone. They looked up from the war table, staring at the stout rogue.

Varric glanced between them with a mischievous smirk, the ornate chain wrapped around his gloved fingers. 'The chest is with Dagna?'

'It should be,' Josephine said, glancing down at her ledger, 'I had it brought up when you arrived.'

'It's settled,' Varric said, still smiling at Valina and Cullen, 'I'll take this to Dagna to investigate, and the rest of you poor sods can finally go get some sleep.'

'That sounds like a good idea,' Malakar said, glancing warily at the amulet, his eyes heavy with exhaustion, 'wake me when the chest is open.'

The group filed out of the war room with weary steps, glad to return to their quarters after days of turmoil and unrest.

The moment Valina snuggled into Cullen's tight embrace, she expected to fall asleep under the weight of exhaustion, to slip blissfully into slumber and oblivion in the arms of her amatus. She listened to his steady breaths, his body warm and comforting as it curled around her own, but two hours passed and she found herself awake, staring through the broken ceiling at the stars, her mind restless after the events of the day.

Valina carefully extracted herself from Cullen's embrace, placing a soft kiss upon his hand before she lay it beside him. He did not stir, his handsome face calm and content in sleep. He rolled to his back, and Valina could not help but smile at the soft snores that rumbled in his chest.

She rose from the bed, dragging on a pair of trousers and one of Cullen's sweaters. It was far too big for her, but she was comforted by its warmth and Cullen's familiar rich scent.

She climbed down the ladder and quietly opened the door, careful to keep the hinges from squeaking lest she wake her slumbering lion. Her mind was filled with questions as she walked along the battlements, the cobblestone cold beneath her feet. Even the Herald's Rest was dark, Skyhold quiet but for the patrolling guards.

Valina followed the path she had traversed only hours before. She clutched the sweater tighter around herself as she descended the stairs, the cold air biting at her exposed skin. Fewer lamps lit the dungeon now, the large stone vessel in the centre of the room the only source of light and warmth. Her breath fogged in the air as she approached the first cell, her bare feet making no discernible noise on the stone. She leant against the bars, staring in at the shape huddled on the cold floor. She tapped the bars, the iron singing.

Benet startled awake. He turned to face her as he sat up. 'Who's there?'

Valina took a torch from the wall beside the cell, lighting it in the central vessel before she returned to the cell door. When she looked into the cell, Benet stumbled to his feet. Benet moved forward on shaking legs. He did not lunge at the bars as he had hours before, but when he reached them he held them tight, slender fingers wrapping around them for support as he leant closer.

'My Lady,' he said, 'you took the amulet.'

It would seem that his manners have returned, Valina thought wryly, their earlier exchange still fresh in her mind.

'Yes. Does that upset you?' she asked as she stared into his gaze, the flickering flame of the torch lighting irises of soft grey, his eyes wide with fear.

'I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to take that chain from my neck.'

She assessed him coldly, but he did not seem to notice the weight in her gaze as she asked, 'what do you mean?'

Benet leant closer, pressing his face between the bars. 'The moment I put that amulet on I felt the darkness in it. I tried to rip it off, but my hands seemed no longer my own. I have not been in control of myself for so long, I hardly know how much time has passed.'

'What do you remember?'

'Everything,' he whispered, 'Maker, Valina, the things I said. The things I've done.'

Valina held her hand up, silencing him. 'Calm, Benet,' she said, her voice resonating with a quiet authority, 'focus. How do you feel now?'

Benet took a deep breath, the sound ragged as he exhaled it, his body wracked with shivers. 'Cold. Scared.' He took another breath, his exhalation fogging the cold air. 'Alive.'

'Count yourself lucky on the latter.'

'I do, my Lady.'

Benet looked so much older than only hours before, his skin almost sickly pale even in the warm light of the torch, dark circles hanging off his eyes. The grey of his irises was lighter, she noted, much clearer than before.

'How did you come to possess the amulet?'

'It was payment,' he said, 'someone offered to purchase one of my mines. I didn't particularly want to sell, so I named an outrageous price, far more than it was worth. I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when they paid it all in advance. I received the amulet and a chest, one more secure than a simple lock and key, as a final payment once the buyer took control of the mine.'

'You never knew who offered to buy the mine?'

He shook his head. 'We communicated through letters only, but everything was written up exactly as it needed, and they paid in full.'

'Why would you take accept a strange amulet from someone you never met?'

'I thought it was drakestone,' he said, 'that's what was contained in the mine, after all. It's not uncommon to receive a gift after–'

'A large successful transaction, I know,' she finished, processing the information, 'I think it's safe to assume that your mine did not just contain drakestone.'

'What else could possibly be down there?'

'Red lyrium.'

His eyes widened. 'But Lyrium is… no, lyrium is good. It's what the Templars use to control–'

'Lyrium is dangerous. Addictive. Destructive.' Valina pursed her lips, pausing only long enough to quiet her thoughts, the image of Cullen thrashing in a night terror flashing in her mind for the briefest moment. She returned the torch to its holder, holding the sweater tighter around herself before she continued, 'red lyrium is even more dangerous, Benet. It corrupts everything it comes near. I've seen the results of exposure first-hand. The fact that you are still human is a miracle.'

'I… that's why…? Red lyrium.' He shook his head. 'Andraste preserve me, how I wish I could wake from this nightmare. I really did say and do all those things, didn't I?

Valina nodded, and Benet sucked in a sharp breath. He dropped to his knees, his shoulders shaking as he leant his head against the bars. 'Valina, I have no words. No apology will ever be enough,' he whispered, 'I don't deny that I have long dreamed that one day you would accept me as your husband, but I would never have–'

'You had no qualms hiring a mercenary to kill your former lover,' she said, 'so I doubt you would have been overly upset if any harm came to me.'

Benet shook his head sharply. 'I tried everything to detach her after our affair ended. I only hired Mireille because Lillisandra had already made two attempts on my life. It was the only way to stop her.'

Valina watched his eyes, watched the expressions that played across his face, finding a firm sincerity. 'All right, Benet.'

'Only days before I put that blasted amulet on I had thought I would write to you, to ask if you would consider joining me on a trip to my coastal estate. I am glad now that I did not. What might I have done?'

'Very little,' Valina said, 'I would never have accepted.'

She did not suppress the hardness in her stare when he glanced up with eyes laced with tears.

'Perhaps it is best,' he said, voice rough with the onslaught of unfamiliar emotions.

'You can save your tears for someone else, Benet,' she said, 'your sanity may have returned somewhat, but you'll find no sympathy in me. Our relationship does not change. Even if I had said yes to you all those years ago, you would have taken away all that I am the moment we made our vows.'

His grey eyes flickered. 'Yes,' he admitted, 'I thought it wrong that your parents allowed you to continue in such a dangerous manner.'

Valina met the words with a cold stare. 'And now?' she asked, 'after all you have been through, after all that has happened, would you let me keep my blades?'

Benet pursed his lips, his silence speaking for him.

'I thought so,' Valina said.

Benet pulled himself up the bars, holding himself steady. 'What about the Ferelden?' he asked, 'Surely such a Commander will take no less than submission from his partner.'

'You do not know Cullen,' Valina said, 'just as you will never know me. Perhaps you should consider this an opportunity to look beyond your rigid, antiquated mind.'

Benet did not fight the insult. He glanced down, bearing the brunt of her quiet anger willingly. For a moment they stood in silence, Valina assessing Benet intently until he lifted his head once again.

'What shall become of me now?'

'Your fate is still in the Inquisitor's hands, but if your sanity is truly returning, it's more likely that the Inquisition will return your estate to you.'

He nodded absently. 'It means little now, but I pledge my services and resources to the Inquisition,' he said, 'I have no right to ask, but please request an audience on my behalf. I have a lengthy apology to express to the Inquisitor.'

Valina stared at him for a moment more. 'Try to get some sleep,' she said, 'Tomorrow is a new day.'

Benet did not call out to her as she turned from him or even as she ascended the stairs, the heavy door closing behind her. She took a breath of the crisp night air, the weight of the cold inside her lungs an anchor for her thoughts. The sky was beginning to lighten above her, the sun rising on the distant horizon, soon to peek over the snow-capped mountains. She passed the Herald's Rest again, her churning thoughts settling as she ascended the stairs to the battlements.

Valina smiled as she neared their quarters, eager to return to the warmth of Cullen's embrace now that she had eased her mind. She opened the door, careful not to disturb the squeaky hinges as she slipped inside and closed it quietly behind herself. She tiptoed over to the ladder.

She reached the top rung, her smile faltering as her gaze fell upon Cullen. She flung herself onto the loft floor, sprinting to his side. She clambered onto the bed, catching his fist before it could connect with the headboard.

'Amatus,' she said. She shook him hard but he did not wake, his thrashing nearly throwing her from the bed. She grasped his wrists and straddled his stomach, forcing his arms down to the pillows with all her strength. 'Amatus!'

Cullen's eyes opened, panic in his tawny gaze. He pushed at her, lifting his arms, but she held firm, gritting her teeth as she battled his strength. 'Cullen, it's me.'

The fight left his body, his eyes finding her shining serpentstone gaze even in the darkened room. His chest heaved, the panic slowly leaving his eyes as he lost himself in the depth of her gaze. He took a shuddering breath and she released his wrists, framing his face with her hands.

'That's it, Amatus, focus on me,' she whispered, leaning down until their noses touched, 'you're safe.'

His arms encircled her, clinging to her as the remnants of the nightmare lingered. She did not release his gaze, not even when the rhythm of his breath synced with hers, his panicked heartbeat slowing in his chest.

He sighed deeply. 'I fear one day I will not wake from these nightmares.'

'They will pass,' she said, 'until then, you will always find comfort in my arms.'

He clutched her to his chest, fingers entwining in her hair. He inhaled deeply of her rosy scent, holding her tighter. He pressed his face to her neck, surprised to find her skin chilled. 'My love, you're cold.' He clutched at her tighter, his waking mind recognising the different fabric over her back. 'And dressed. Where have you been?'

'I couldn't sleep,' she said, 'I went to talk to Benet. He seems saner, at least.'

'I am not inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt just yet,' Cullen grumbled.

'Neither am I, but I will still discuss it with Malakar in the morning,' she said, 'it is for him to decide, not me. Let's not dwell on it.'

She pulled from his arms, sitting beside him. She stripped her pants and his sweater, returning to the warmth of their bed. She snuggled into Cullen's embrace, nuzzling the fine hair on his chest.

Cullen sucked in a sharp breath when she placed her cold feet on his legs, but he did not protest. Instead, he held her tighter, entwining their limbs until he was unsure where he ended and she began. He grasped her thigh with a calloused palm, coaxing her knee over his hip, drawing her tight against his chest, reassuring himself that she was truly in his arms.

'Would you sing for me, my love?'

Valina pressed a kiss to his chest. 'Of course, Amatus,' she said, and so she sang softly to him in Tevene, her breath falling against his skin, her hand resting over his heart. He closed his eyes, clutching her tighter as her voice drifted over him, the tension of his terror leaving his broad shoulders. She did not know how long she sang, but soon he drifted off to peaceful sleep, and still, she sang, hoping in some way to protect him from his nightmares.