A/N: Finally - an update! I didn't mean for the break to be quite so long, but better late than never I suppose. I'll try my best to be more regular from now. Thanks ever so much for everyone who has continued to read and review, your interest means the world to me. I hope you enjoy (I may have gone OTT with the word count, but I'll try to rein that in too next time).
On the morning of her birthday, Anna was roused by the padding of soft footsteps hovering outside and then the gentle click of the door. Her mother had barely peeked her head inside before she started her excited chorus, keeping her voice hushed in the as yet unbroken morning.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…"
Placing the mug and a box down on the bedside table, Susan bunched the duvet cover back, much to Anna's disgruntlement. Her mother's smile was far too wide for this time of the day, and Anna moved her head further into the pillow.
"Happy birthday, my Anna…"
"Mum," she whined. The ritual was rather embarrassing, but a reluctant smile eased onto her face. It had been a while since she'd been at home for the day after all, and she felt it wasn't too much of a stretch to indulge her mum. As she finished off the song, Anna pulled herself to sit, taking her pillow with her to rest against the headboard. "You could've let me have a sleep-in on my birthday, that would have been a nice present," she yawned, balling her fist over one eye, then the other.
"You know I always have to be the first to wish it to you," her mum beamed with softness upon her face. Folding her arms, Susan Smith fixed her daughter with a look that was suddenly stern. "Besides, I should like to remind you of all the pain you put me through getting you here. I can't let that opportunity pass me by."
Anna shook her head, feeling even more embarrassed as her mum put the warm mug into her hands. She took a sip of the tea, feeling instantly better and more awake.
"But you wouldn't have it any other way," she smiled sweetly, listening as her mother tutted and then chuckled tunefully.
"That I wouldn't."
Susan leaned down to give her daughter a kiss on the cheek, Anna accepting gratefully.
"I really am thrilled you're home," her mum's voice remained soft, laced with more than a little enthusiasm and hardly restrained sentimentality. Looking up, Anna could see the tears sparkling in the eyes that were almost mirrors of her own.
"Mum, don't cry. That's not a very good start to the day."
Susan sniffed, wiping underneath her eyes to catch the tears that hadn't fallen yet. Giving her daughter a reassuring smile, she clamped her hands together.
"Oh, silly me. It's just special, that's all, to have you here for your birthday." She paused for a moment, stretching her hand out to smooth the covers. "Well, it's special to have you here anytime, of course."
Anna smiled, laying her hand over her mother's.
"I promise it won't be so infrequent from now on. We could come up every couple of months or so, work permitting. It wouldn't be a problem."
It had come out so naturally, she hadn't noticed until she saw the smile on her mum's face change ever so slightly. Anna narrowed her eyes with a slight puzzlement, trying to read the expression until it was gone in a flash. Susan gave her daughter's hand another pat.
"That would be lovely," she grinned, and Anna was thankful for the little quiet moment between the two of them, letting the guilt she felt at not being back in so long fade against the future of promises. "Now, here you are," Susan proffered what had been lying on the bedside table, "your first present. At least, I hope it is."
"If you discount Beth's snoring," Anna remarked with a grimace, and then laughed as she prised the lid carefully from the box. Seeing the pale pink silk of the eyemask, she lifted it closer to examine the writing.
"Oh mother, how very funny," she noted with the appropriate amount of sarcasm.
"I thought it was you to a tee."
Imprinted across it was an elegant script, bearing the words Grumpy but Gorgeous.
"Well, thank you," she said graciously. "It is very appropriate."
Anna noticed that her mother's eyes were still regarding her hopefully, and sensing that might not have been the end of it, lifted out the eyemask to uncover what was underneath. Susan's beam was bright as Anna delicately picked up the silver charm bracelet.
"Oh mum, it's lovely. This must have cost you…"
"Shh, it's nothing. If I can't treat my little girl on her day, then when can I?"
Now Anna's eyes began to fill and she tried to avoid her mum's gaze as she put the bracelet back safely into the box.
"Don't cry darling, it's not a very good way to start the day."
She stuck out the tip of her tongue at her mother echoing her words, receiving a light tap on the arm before Susan headed to the door.
"Well, I'll leave you in peace to wake up properly. Just don't take too long about it, we wouldn't want to waste the whole day. And there is this evening." She smiled triumphantly as Anna groaned.
"It's not going to be too much of a fuss is it? It just might be awkward…"
"Would you ever doubt your mum? It'll be such fun."
Anna rolled her eyes briefly, giving her mother something of a smile before she clicked the door closed behind her. She sunk back upon the pillow and gave a sigh while she cradled the still warm mug of tea in her hands, the light from behind the curtains comforting. Still, she couldn't shake the little pang of melancholy that occupied her.
Bringing the duvet up further to nestle around her, it wasn't enough to replace the sensation that she missed so much, as crazy as it was when he wasn't far, sleeping under the same roof. The last couple of days had been a whirlwind and they hadn't had the time to really be alone. Chaste kisses that on occasion turned a little more passionate before they had to stop themselves and subtle, soft touches had had to suffice. She wasn't sure how much longer she could go. It was just the feeling of being held in his arms, resting her head against his chest and hearing his heart beating that bit faster; she knew its rhythm so well now. It was almost beyond all reason how she could long for everything so desperately.
Then she smiled, getting brighter the more she considered; that whatever way, it wouldn't be long at all.
She had been sitting at the kitchen counter for ten minutes or so, chatting away to her mum as she pottered about, tucking into her birthday breakfast of pastries with a generous helping of Nutella, when John entered the doorway. His movements were hesitant at first, not wanting to intrude on the conversation between mother and daughter, but if Susan's gentle commands didn't beckon him in then Anna's beaming smile most certainly did.
Anna swung her legs in her pyjama bottoms, sitting up straighter on her stool as he came over towards her, everything around them seeming to disappear. She was rather disappointed that he had changed already, though she could see a hint of chest hair poking free from the top button of his shirt and the sight alone sent her heart racing. She was unable to take the grin from her face and as he began to laugh, the crinkles creasing at his eyes, she couldn't help but do so too. Raising her hand to her head, she made to take the cardboard tiara down from where it rested upon her crown.
"Leave it," he said in a low rasp that made her tummy flutter. "It looks cute."
She looked down for a moment, blushing at his words, feeling the heat creeping over her as he got nearer. She always had to wonder at people who said they were breathtaken simply looking at someone; it seemed like a nice idea but almost certainly an exaggeration. Yet now she had been proved otherwise, her breath catching in her throat as she gazed up into his eyes that seemed more green than hazel at this proximity. Regaining her composure, she smiled widely and more sincerely than she had so far that day.
The moment of bliss was broken by the sound of her mum humming a song as she scooted about in the background. Pursing her lips, Anna turned her head to the side and then thrilled in the next instant when his lips brushed warm against her cheek, lingering while they were out of sight. She leaned in closer, smiling happily, wanting to prolong the contact for as long as she could.
As he pulled away with some regret, he caught her hand beneath the counter, linking their fingers together.
"Happy birthday."
She smiled at the wish; it seemed far happier now.
"Why, thank you, sir."
She began to giggle, resting against him for a moment, tingles dancing across her as he stroked his thumb over her knuckles. Out of the corner of her eye she caught his smile, felt the warmth of it radiate around her. She was quite sure she'd never felt anything that compared to what she felt now.
"Good morning, John."
Anna's mother was at her side suddenly; they were both startled out of their reverie.
"Good morning, Susan," he gave a little cough, shifting on his soles but not letting go of Anna's hand that was resting in her lap. Anna was endeared to him; she knew he still felt uncomfortable calling her mum by her first name. He nodded his head, smiling politer than ever and her mother returned it with a smile which seemed much softer than it had been a couple of days ago. The three of them shared glances between each other, and Anna had to stifle her giggles and then her gasps as John's fingers traced over her palm.
Giving a final look, her mum returned to moving things around the kitchen.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
John shifted his weight onto his other foot, making to move away from Anna and unfurling his hand finger by finger from her grasp, though he held onto her little finger with his own. She smiled, on the verge of laughter as she tugged upon him, almost pulling him back on his heels. The look he threw her over his shoulder was nearly enough to make her tumble from her seat.
Anna noticed that her mother looked rather taken aback as she turned around. "That's very kind of you, John." She sounded very sincere. "I've got everything under control though, as much as is here, anyway."
He smiled in acknowledgement, allowing himself to step backwards closer to Anna once more. She reached forward for his hand and without even having to think, he grasped onto hers, and she felt complete once more.
"Well, that's all of that," Susan placed her hands on her hips, casting a final glance around at all of her efforts. "Now I just need to pop out to get a few other things, and it'll all be sorted. I can trust you to cope without me?"
Anna rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "I am thirty, I think I can manage."
"I shall leave you to it then." Anna bit on her lip, her eyes flickering to John as her mum turned to leave. "I won't be long."
"See you in a bit."
"Take care of yourself, Susan."
Anna couldn't stop her giggles from emerging as John turned to face her once more.
"What?" he questioned, his eyebrows raised.
"Nothing," she replied, her other hand easing naturally onto his arm. "You're just being very dutiful."
He shook his head, laughing at her cheeky tone. "I prefer to think of it as being chivalrous." He circled her hand, the tips of his fingers travelling up to stroke at her wrist. "Of course, I can always change my ways, if you prefer it…"
She grinned, her hand moving round to rest on his back and pulling him closer to her. "There is not one thing that I would change about you," she said sweetly, with just a hint of seduction. It was hard to resist when he was this close, when she could register everything about him, underneath her own fingertips. "I like you exactly the way you are."
He frowned a little. "Just 'like'? Then I must try harder."
Usually she would be happy to tease him for a bit longer, but she found herself helpless when she saw the corners of his lips curving upwards.
"Very well," she all but whispered. "I love you exactly the way you are."
His eyes seemed to spark at her words and she felt a delightful shiver travel down her spine. And I want you, right now…she thought, feeling her insides tighten like a coiled spring. At times she still couldn't figure out all of the effects he had on her. His gaze was dark, then lighter and soft, and he smiled a smile that made her melt effortlessly.
He reached the hand that wasn't held with hers around his neck, rubbing lightly.
"Are you alright?" she enquired, concerned.
He shrugged his shoulders. "It's fine, I just think I slept a bit awkwardly."
Anna pouted in sympathy, letting her own hand trail up. He winced for the slightest second, then relaxed under her touch.
"I hope it's not too cramped for you in that little room."
John smiled wistfully as her fingers soothed back and forth.
"No, it's fine. Quite nice, really. Your mum's gone to a lot of trouble." Catching her hand as it moved upon him, he lifted his brow. "Obviously it's not as nice as it could be…without you."
Her eyelids fluttered at the way he looked at her and before she could even breathe, his lips were brushing against hers, soft and slow. Her hands slid down to cup his face, guiding him even closer. She was intoxicated by his kisses, she could never get enough. She hummed happily, even when he drew away.
"So," he sighed, evidently as happy as she was, "what's the plans, birthday girl? Do I get to spoil you for a little while, or are you otherwise occupied?"
She smiled lazily, still caught up in the haze of such perfection. "Well, there's Mum's party this evening…"
John chuckled. "You mean your party."
"It's all her doing," Anna groaned, shifting on her seat. "Honestly, if it was up to me…I really don't want the fuss."
"Oh, you'll love it really. You'll have fun."
I'd have much more fun elsewhere, she considered, a mischievous smirk crossing her face which he didn't fail to notice. Taking it as a sign, he placed his hands lightly on her sides.
"So, until then, you're free as a bird…?"
She smiled, hating to let him down. "Well, Mum said the day was up to me to do what I wanted with," she rested a hand on top of one of his, "and I do have something in mind…out of the house."
He bobbed his head, no sadness in his eyes; instead just a gorgeous smile on his face. "It's your day, and you shall have your wish, m'lady." Raising her hand to his lips, he placed a feather-light kiss there. "As long as I figure in these plans somewhere along the way."
"Silly beggar," she laughed. "Of course you do."
"Good."
He graced her with another wonderful smile before he crushed his lips to hers again. As much as she focused on his mouth moving against hers, she couldn't be distracted from his hand rummaging slightly in the pocket of his trousers. She smiled against his lips, wondering what was happening.
"Am I not enough for you, Mr Bates?" she ventured, giggling at the sheepish blush in his cheeks.
"You are more than enough, Miss Smith," he answered, smiling with his eyes as he presented her with a purple box. "Before it all gets too hectic, I wanted to give you your present."
Anna was shocked; before they left she insisted that he needn't bother, that spending time with him away from London was present enough for her. Holding the silk edged box, she tried to close her mouth from where it hung open. There was an insignia of a jewellers' that she recognised from one of the finer shopping districts in the city; whatever it was, it must have cost him a bit.
"John…I didn't expect…you didn't need to."
"What did I tell you, I want to spoil you."
He smiled, watching intently as she at first fiddled with the lid of the box and then opened it successfully. Her face was a picture as she regarded the silver necklace, a heart charm with a small ruby stud fixed to it.
"I hope I made the right choice," he said, almost shyly.
Anna gasped in a breath, looking back up into his hopeful gaze. "John, it's beautiful." She lifted it up carefully, holding it against her neck. "I love it, so much." Her open smile was the accompaniment to her words. "I'll wear it tonight."
He smiled at her, pleased with himself but more than anything pleased at her reaction. The smile made the crinkles appear at his eyes again and Anna felt that he was more than deserving of a reward.
"Come here," she beckoned, and it didn't take much for him to do as she said, his hands slipping around her waist, fitting perfectly against her hipbones. She leaned up slightly, placing one of her hands on the kitchen counter and the other against his chest as he stooped slightly to meet her. As they kissed, deeper than before, she felt the thud of his heart become faster and smiled, splaying out her fingers to feel more of him.
The sudden escalating passion left them both a little breathless. Anna clung onto his shirt in her palm as they recovered, gasping and finding each other's eyes, both laughing a little.
She was the first one to find any words. "That was rather unexpected."
"Maybe for you," he chuckled, and she felt the movement against her hand. "I've been needing to do that for quite a while. You are irresistible."
"And you're not so bad yourself," she smiled, biting on her lip and letting her hand wander across his chest, loving how warm he felt.
"Are you sure we don't have a bit of time?" he ventured, whispering in her ear even though they were alone.
Anna smirked purposefully. "Now now, Mr Bates, it wouldn't do to rush these things." Even as she said the words playfully, she felt a pang of regret, wanting as much as he was. "Good things do come to those who wait."
With a wicked smile on his face, he leaned his body closer to hers and she was about to snatch back all that she'd said in a hurry, until she heard some not-so-quiet whispers coming from close by. John stepped back on his heels in time for Beth to bound through the kitchen door, carrying a laptop, Susan in tow with Sam trailing behind, looking as though he'd not long been dragged from bed.
"Mum, I thought you were out?" Anna questioned, looking rather confused but quite happily surprised, laughing as Beth gave her a hug on her stool from behind, having passed the laptop to Sam.
"A little white lie never hurt anyone," Susan responded, smiling much like her daughter did often. "Before we head off for the day, and before the time difference gets too much, we have another surprise for you…"
Her hand flew up to her face when the screen was placed in front of her, seeing her older brother on Skype from the other side of the world.
"Ben! Oh my god!" she shrieked, almost disbelieving, tears springing to her eyes.
"Hey, Anna. Happy birthday, little sis!"
Her mother, Beth and Sam huddled around her, wanting to get in the picture and say and wave their hello's too. After letting Anna exchange a few words, they all hurried to speak in their excitement, elated by the family reunion, Susan for once proclaiming about the good side of technology as she choked back the tears.
Laughing and smiling, Anna turned round to notice that John was standing back a little, feeling just a little lost amongst the gathering. She gave her head a shake, reaching out her arm from her chair, saving her brightest smile just for him.
"Ben, there's someone else you should say hello to."
She made the introductions fluidly, pulling John to her side and admiring his modesty. Though they were at quite a distance, the two men seemed to get on famously and Anna felt she couldn't possibly be happier, beaming her pride as well as her love for the man standing beside her, making his own jokes and talking so eloquently.
All the while and in full sight of everyone in the room and otherwise, she held her hand tight in his.
The day was fine and sunny and it was surprising that there weren't more people on the beach, though Anna had been spending her summers here since she was a little girl and so knew how to seek out all the hidden spots. As it was, they had been able to enjoy the picnic relatively quietly, save from Beth doing her utmost to distract Sam from reading a book in peace. She was still making something of a racket as what was left laid out on the blankets was being finished, Susan scurrying to unload more of the seemingly unending tons of food that she had prepared for the afternoon.
John laughed to himself as he regarded the scene, standing a little way away and feeling his feet sink against the sand. He wasn't quite sure that he felt like one of the family just yet, although it felt nicer than he had expected to be part of such a set-up again. He got a pang of sadness, thinking about his own family and how far he seemed to be removed from them now, which was all his own fault. What he would have given to take those days, those years, back. Not for the first time, although perhaps the first time he had thought about it in a little while, he wondered whether he had really done right by them. The image of his mother in her last days, laid out on her bed and looking deep into his face, staring into his very soul, came up strong in his mind. Her voice, wrought with the exhaustion of living a hard life, ringing out. Be happy, son. That's all I've ever wanted for you.
He was truly sorry that she had never got the chance to see him as happy as he could be, the way that he felt now.
The happiness showed itself clear on his face as he watched her, strolling across the sand, so carefree. Her laughter was floating on the air, making the birds sing a brighter tune. He simply couldn't get over how perfect she was. Without a scrap of make-up she looked gorgeous, radiant in her natural beauty. Her hair was glistening gold, waves falling around her face and over her shoulders and she had a glow about her that was more captivating than usual. In the last couple of days she had caught the sun, the light bronze of her skin noticeable against the simple white shirt she was wearing, tucked loosely into denim shorts. He had admired them during the picnic when she had been stretched out lazily on the blanket but now he couldn't take his eyes off her shapely legs. Even given her petite stature, they seemed to go on forever. The thought of them wrapped around his waist brought a cheeky smile to his face, which remained there as she appeared in front of him, so innocent but so utterly beguiling.
Her giggles filled his ears, her beaming smile caught his heart and he let go of any troubles that remained possessing him without a second thought.
"And what do you find so funny?" He chuckled himself, following the twinkle of her azure eyes upwards. "Don't tell me it's the hat." He gripped the brim of the panama hat perched on his head with purpose. "Pure class, this is. Vintage. You won't see anyone else wearing one of these."
"I think there's a reason for that," she smiled impishly, and the teasing tone of her voice made him pout half-impetuously until she placed her palms firmly on his chest. He held his breath as she reached one hand up, running a finger over the brim of the hat. "I'm just not that keen on it for two reasons. One, I don't get to look at your lovely hair. And two," she paused for a moment, fluttering her eyelashes upwards and moistening her lips, the actions combined driving him wild, "It makes it much harder for me to kiss you."
It took him less than seconds to throw the hat swiftly on to the sand below, a lock of hair flopping forward on the movement. "Well, we can't have that." In the next moment his hands were on her back, almost lifting her to him though he dipped down too, fulfilling her wish in a sweet, spontaneous moment. He heard a final flurry of giggles escape from her before his lips captured hers, and he felt rushes soar through him as her hands smoothed up and down his chest.
"Oi, lovebirds!"
John sighed heavily to hear Beth's screech from further down the beach, smiling again when Anna let out a resigned laugh, one hand continuing to trail his torso and the other caressing his cheek. He drank the sight of her in, living off the sweet smile that graced him before she turned around in slow motion to face her sister.
"We thought we might play a game, and we need to make up the numbers. If you're not too busy."
"That sea looks very inviting. It's just calling me…" he whispered into her ear, and chortled when she smacked him lightly on the chest.
"Alright, we'll be there now."
John made a whimpering sound as Anna marched him along the beach back to where the rest of the family were assembled, flicking her head around every few seconds to 'shh' him, with not a great deal of authority.
"Okay then, do we have any suggestions?" Anna asked.
Despite his protests to the idea, John ventured to speak, keeping an arm circled about Anna's waist. "As it's her birthday, I think we should let Anna choose…"
Judging by the expression on her face, Beth had already made plans that weren't to be messed with. As she brought a set of plastic bats out from behind her back, it was also obvious that she had come well prepared.
"Well, I don't see what's wrong with a spot of cricket."
"Errr, I think I'll sit this one out," John grimaced as he glanced to the side, trying not to catch Anna's eyes. "Cricket's never really been my game. I can keep score for you all."
Beth huffed in exasperation, wielding one of the bats in her grasp. John wasn't sure whether to duck or make a run for it; she looked as though she could be quite lethal, even with a fluorescent plastic weapon.
"Oh, come on, John. There are six of us, so it'll be uneven if you don't play." She eyed him with an unswerving stare, a smirk creeping onto her face. "And you've been doing so well up to now, you wouldn't want to lose Anna at the final hurdle…"
"Beth, don't be silly," Anna's voice was sure and confident. "I'm quite aware of his sporting capabilities."
"You would say that."
As Beth feigned gagging, John raised his eyebrows at Anna, near sending her dissolving into giggles. She managed to recover herself when Beth strode across the beach purposefully, setting out markers.
"I've never really understood it properly either," Anna piped up. "Can we do rounders instead?"
Beth shrugged her shoulders dramatically. "Alright then," she heaved with an impatient breath. "But it's still going to be girls versus boys."
"Watch out for her aim," Anna breathed against John's ear, making him shiver pleasantly. "I don't expect she's best pleased now."
Catching her wrist lightly before she passed him, he smiled at her. "I can take care of myself. And if I can handle you, then anything else should be fine."
Set out into the teams that had been automatically assigned, the game got underway, taking rather short turns to bat and field given the small numbers. There was no question that Beth was the most fiercely competitive, taking the game that she had planned with a seriousness that was almost scary. However, John noticed Anna's sporting side emerging too and found her enthusiasm incredibly cute, her cheers when she managed to catch someone out successfully as well as her little sulks when she just missed the chance.
After a long run of games back and forth, the girls were batting again for the decider, and Anna stepped up to take her swing. Stuart took his time bowling, likely on purpose, and John could see Anna beginning to get restless. The ball was hurled in her direction with an unexpected force and, startled, she whacked it at an upwards angle, holding herself for a few seconds before she flung the bat across the sand. Coming out of his daze, Sam scrabbled forward in an attempt to catch the ball but Anna was too fast, running past his base before he got to it.
It was up to John to do the job for his team. He trained his eye with great effort on the ball that was flying towards him rather than Anna's legs hammering across the sand, getting closer towards the final marker. Before she could cross the threshold, he had launched back, nearly falling onto the sand in his pursuits but catching the missile one-handed. Rather proud of his achievement, he slammed the ball down onto the ground with seconds to spare.
"I'm sorry, my darling, but that's how the game goes…"
Anna swivelled round to catch his pleased gaze with a look of disbelief and a hint of annoyance on her face.
"That was completely in!" she exclaimed, hands planted firmly on her hips. "I was way past the line before you caught it."
He watched as her cheeks flushed red with exertion, one of her heels stomping and making a ridge in the sand, and tried desperately not to burst into laughter.
"I know it's hard to take, but you've got to admit when you've been beaten." He kept his voice as nonchalant as was possible, gazing at her pointedly. "You can't help it that you were just too slow this time around." He ran a hand slowly through his hair, loosening it further. "Maybe even a little distracted."
Anna's eyes flashed in incredulity, her mouth hanging open before it started to curve into the remnants of a smile.
"Oh, I'll show you who's slow."
She set off down the beach, with John following in the first step she took. Her legs went at lightning speed, and he was surprised at how fast she was going, struggling to keep up, but then she let her guard down when she began to turn her head over her shoulder to glimpse where he was. Then it didn't take long at all to catch her, sweeping her into his arms and running with a renewed effort along the shore.
"No John, don't," she squealed and giggled with delight inbetween breaths, her legs kicking a little against him and her hair nearly covering his face. The edges of the gentle lapping waves were licking at his feet and he began to loosen his grasp a little, laughing himself. "Don't you dare!"
Anna tumbled onto the sand first, inches short of plunging into the water. John landed with his knees either side of her, hovering above, catching his breath that was proving elusive to hold onto with Anna beneath him, flushed with her own breath escaping her in gasps. For the briefest moment he was fearful he'd be on the receiving end of a slap but instead she smiled when she looked up at him, one of the most natural and beautiful ones he'd ever seen her wear. He returned it effortlessly, gliding his hands up and down her sides. Her soft sighs turned into shrieks when he started to tickle her, wriggling on the sand out of his grasp.
"Okay, okay," she uttered breathlessly, "I'll let you win. But only for now."
John couldn't stop the grin from taking over his face. "I just hope that's a promise."
Anna had lost track of time easily while she had been talking to Beth, and it was only after a little while that she noticed John hadn't been around for quite a bit. She checked that he wasn't with the boys or up at the little café at the top of the beach, and when there was no sight of him in either place she felt her heart pound against her ribcage a little faster. It was silly of her; he was a grown man after all, and she couldn't blame him from wanting some time away. He always needed the space to be amongst his own thoughts after too long spent in the company of others, even if he was fond of them; it was a fact she felt as though she'd known for years. Funnily enough, the only person he seemed to be happy to spend uninterrupted hours with was her. She had to smile when she thought of how special that made her feel.
She strolled along the length of the pier and her heart settled when she noticed the figure at the end. It was all she could do not to careen over the wooden slats at high speed.
Enjoying the view, both of the horizon overlooking the seaside and of John deep in thought, she relished the rare occasion where she towered over him before she crouched, taking her seat by his side.
"So this is where you've got to," she said, bumping her arm against his and smiling at him as he turned to face her. "This isn't about the hat, is it?"
He let out a short laugh, shaking his head. "No, it's not that." He ran the backs of his fingers over her forearm before threading them through hers. One more smile before he set his gaze firmly in front of them again, the waves dancing at a gentle crash. Anna heard the exhale come from deep within him. "I just needed a few moments by myself."
She nodded silently, squeezing his hand to ensure that he was aware that she understood. They sat in peaceful silence for some minutes, enjoying the scene ahead of them as well as each other. For the most part it was lovely; Anna knew they didn't need to speak to know one another. Still, the silence seemed to reign for a little too long, and even though she had no need to she found herself worrying over the distant look in his eyes.
"Are you sure there's nothing wrong? You look like you're cheesed off about something."
He laughed again, longer and louder this time.
"Nothing's wrong, I promise you." Noticing that she wasn't completely reassured, he lifted her hand, giving it a caress before he pressed his mouth to it. "I'm a brooder by nature, that's all. And brooders brood."
The way he said it made her smile.
"Then brood about me," she responded, swiping her thumb across his knuckles.
He shifted a little from where he was sitting, fixing his gaze upon her entirely. "I haven't had to do that much of it since I've been with you. In fact, I think I'm forgetting the art." Those words earned him a grin, as well as a swift kiss on the lips. He let go of her hand only to wrap his arm around her and she let herself sink against his side. "Are you having a good day?"
"I am," she intoned cheerfully, "It's the happiest birthday I can remember having in a while." She didn't realise how true the words were until she had spoken them, and the thought saddened her, but not as much as it perhaps should have done. She wasn't keen to dwell on the past, not when the present was everything that she wanted. "You do know that I wouldn't have been half as happy if you weren't here."
"Well, that's nice to hear," he said silkily, smoothing a hand over her hair as a breeze blew by them. "And I'm glad of it too."
"Even with my mother?" she questioned with a barely hidden laugh, and received her reply with a quiet chuckle.
"I feel closer to you here. Being with you in the place you grew up. Sharing in the things you love with you."
Anna smiled as they both watched the water washing by, birds dipping in and out of the skyline, the sounds and scents of the seaside reminding her of so much, inherently comforting to her. The feel of him pressed against her side made it all complete.
"I just feel like I know more of who you are now," he sighed, a sigh that told of how content he was. "Maybe that's what it was. That I was just getting lost in you."
Oh, this man was perfect.
"Come closer still," she whispered alluringly, her hand grazing his cheek as she brought him to her.
Their lips set themselves into a slow dance, and as his fingers curled delicately into her hair, Anna was certain that she knew all she ever needed to know; she knew him, completely, and knew how much she loved him.
They shared a few more kisses, each one longer than the one that preceded it, and serene moments where they were simply happy to stare at one another, marvelling at all that was ahead of them.
Anna was the one to stir at the seagull sounding way above their heads, casting a glance back to the beach that seemed worlds away.
"They'll think we've got lost," she said as she made to stand, a little surprised when John refused to let her hand go, pulling him gently back down to his level for a few moments.
"Let them think it. What they don't know won't hurt them," he said with a flash of a grin, and she didn't mind relenting.
The music hummed in the background, filling the sitting room along with chatter and laughter; there hadn't seemed to be a moment's silence all night. Standing by the doorway, talking to a friend from primary school whom she hadn't seen in some time, Anna hadn't expected to enjoy the party quite so much. Perhaps she underestimated her mum's abilities after all. It had been just the kind of thing she had wanted; relaxed, low-key, but still fun. It certainly made a change from the extravagant events she made her living organising, and it suited her down to the ground.
She had been holding the neat silver chain that was around her neck between her fingers most of the night; as they brushed the heart-shaped pendant she smiled to herself, still able to feel John's touch as he carefully draped the necklace against her, the tips of his fingers just barely landing upon her neck as he fastened the clasp in place. She had remarked that it was a touch of luck that his gift had matched her dress; he had told her how absolutely beautiful she looked. There had been enough time for a kiss or two upstairs before the guest of honour simply had to descend for the party, and she had been kept away from his side for most of the night.
Anna's smile widened as she found him at the other side of the room, kept occupied by a couple of members of her extended family. The poor man couldn't have known what he would be in for but he was taking it all in his stride, his unassuming yet witty manner winning people over as usual. The tiniest sigh escaped her as she leaned against the wall, held in wonder herself even at such a distance, and she strained impossibly to hear what he was saying at that precise second.
Just as his gaze finally found hers, there was a tap on her shoulder which startled her out of her daydream.
"Anna, will you come and give me a hand in the kitchen for a moment?"
She felt a little confused at her mother's request, but followed her into the room at the back of the house regardless, laughing to herself at the piles of food and drink that were still laid out on the table and stacked up on the counters.
"I apologise, I should have had more faith in you," she began as Susan poured more nibbles into bowls, not meeting her daughter's gaze. "It's been lovely."
"See, I told you it would be fun. Doesn't your mum always know best?"
She smiled as she walked towards the counter, holding out her hands to help. Susan shooed away the gesture with her own hands.
"Sit down for a moment."
"But, Mum…" Anna was even more perplexed now.
"I may have been telling another white lie," her mum smiled, taking the seat next to Anna. "I just wanted to get you to myself for five minutes. I'm glad you're having a good time, I think it's nice you got to see other people. It's like being in a bubble, just being with us in the house." She paused, her eyes falling to the tabletop before she fixed them back firmly on her daughter. "Though I don't expect you would have minded much."
Anna grew hot at her mother's intonation, knowing exactly what she was getting at. Fiddling with her necklace, she got past her shyness and found the courage to say what she had been meaning to.
"You know, it hasn't been easy for John coming here," her words came out quickly, lest her mother had the chance to interrupt. "He's had a lot to deal with lately, and he gets self-conscious about these things, and…," she looked up for a moment, making sure her gaze didn't falter, "I don't know that you've made it all that easy."
Susan sighed, her expression almost unreadable to her daughter. Anna shifted uncomfortably in her seat; as silence hung in the air, she wondered whether she had gone too far in being forthright, but it was important that her mother knew about this, and how unreasonable she had been.
"I…" Susan began, pausing to take another breath before she continued. "I just didn't know what to think at first. You say you're coming with a new man, and of course I'm pleased but I just…well, it took a bit of getting used to, I admit."
She might as well come out and say it if her mum wouldn't.
"Is this about his age? Because it's really nothing to me." The beginnings of a smile started to light her face as she considered. "If more thirty year old men had a quarter of what John has, the world would be a better place."
Anna started to flush for the redness that was spreading across her mother's cheeks.
"That doesn't bother me. You know your granddad was ten years older than your grandma. But the fact is, he is older than you…"
Anna shook her head, incensed at the blatant hypocrisy being displayed.
"…and that might cause problems in the long run, when it comes to what you both want from life."
"Well, we'll live in the here and now for the moment," she affirmed, knowing full well she was thinking much further than that. "You know how important it is to do that…" Her voice began to lower and trail off, and she couldn't look at her mum for the fear of what spectres she had raised.
There was a little silence, and she contemplated walking out of the room and running into John's arms, asking him to drop everything and take her away.
"He's not like the other boyfriends you've had."
"I'm glad he isn't."
Susan broke into a slow smile at how headstrong her daughter was.
"I had my reservations, yes. For longer than I should have done."
Anna took in a shuddering breath as her mother's eyes never left her, worried for some reason that her world would shatter, although nothing that could be said or even thought would make any difference.
"But I'm glad for these past few days, because otherwise I wouldn't have known for myself." Her smile became more sentimental, and Anna felt herself relax. "I've seen it, the way he looks at you. I couldn't exactly miss it." She began to laugh lightly, and Anna did too. "The way he is with you. He worships the ground you walk on." Susan's voice started to crack with emotion and Anna sniffed back a tear, reaching across the table for her mum's hand. "In all those years, he was never like that with you."
"I know," Anna whispered as her mum clutched onto her hand.
The soft smile stayed on Susan's face. "The only thing I want is for you to be happy, and I can see now that he makes you happy."
She couldn't help but burst into a smile through her now joyful tears. "More than anything or anyone else."
"Then how could I not love him?"
Anna let out a little laugh in reaction, her mum returning her grin towards her. "Thank you," she said softly, recovering herself. "Though you should be telling him this."
"And I will," Susan assured, making a little cross against her chest. "But who can blame me for wanting a little mother-daughter time?"
They both stood at the same time, Susan's arms opening immediately to give her daughter a hug. Clutching onto her mum, Anna felt too emotional but relieved most of all to gain her blessing and to know that all of the stress hadn't been for nothing.
After a few moments to themselves, they emerged back into the party, Susan's arms filled with snack bowls as she walked across the room. Anna was still dabbing at her face when she noticed John looking over towards her. She put on her best smile, which wasn't hard to do when he was in the same room, watching her mum lean over to him for a moment before she went back to dashing around.
Her smile became wider and more natural as he arrived in front of her again.
"Everything okay?" he asked, half smiling though she was sure he could detect the redness in her eyes.
"Great," she smiled in return, exhaling when he rubbed his fingers over hers. "I just heard something that was rather nice."
His eyes were shimmering with a quality that only he possessed, as well as a quiet joy. "So did I. Your mother just came up to me and thanked me. For today, for the past few days."
Anna was beaming before he leaned in to whisper the rest, holding her hand tighter in his.
"And she thanked me for making you smile." He gave her a look as he pulled back again, gazing deep into her eyes. "Even though I should be the one who's thankful."
He had no idea what he must have looked like, making his way blindly down the garden in the pitch black, with only the light of the stars above to guide him. He wasn't certain of the time but it must have been late; past one AM at least, with the party finished up and guests departed a little while ago. The pace of his strides slowed when he thought of her hand on his arm, bringing him outside; her soft giggles resonating as she whispered into his ear, the sweetness of her lips so close. Surely she'd be too tired to stay up for whatever it was she had planned, it had been a long and full day for her.
"I promise you, I won't be," she said with a smile that he could hear, her breath dancing upon his skin. "Come to the cabin after."
The memory of her voice uttering those words for only him to hear made him go on, and he smiled when he saw the soft glow shining out from inside. The door was open just a little; he reached out a hand slowly to push it the rest of the way, suddenly nervous.
He stopped short in the doorway when all was unveiled; indeed, everything seemed to come to a stop, except for his heart, which had never before beat so fast.
The smile she aimed towards him was radiant, warmer than the candlelight that she was bathed in. Her hair remained in soft waves, cascading over her shoulders. He was breathtaken by the beauty of her face alone, as he would be from now until the end of time, but he was left completely astounded when his eyes followed the curve of her body downwards. Her curves were accentuated perfectly by what she was wearing; a champagne coloured basque overlaid with black lace, complimenting the delicate french knickers that barely skimmed her bottom and the suspenders that held up her silky stockings.
Her smile turned into giggles at the time it took him to recover his senses and shut the door softly but securely behind him. He couldn't help but remain absolutely entranced, the look in her eyes a rope around his waist, pulling him closer to her.
"Better late than never," she said, her hands fiddling with the straps running over her thighs. "It was the first thing I packed."
It seemed like a while before he could make any coherent reply, eyes wandering and appreciating what his hands dare not brace for the moment, for the risk of spoiling utter perfection.
"Do you like it?"
She was turning a little at the waist, her voice sounding coy while her demeanour was anything but.
"That would be a vast understatement."
A smile crossed his lips as he stood in front of her, watching her gaze up at him eagerly. She had the amazing ability of retaining a beautiful innocence while she looked so sexy; it only added to her allure. She was completely and utterly gorgeous, and he had no idea what he had done to deserve her.
He raised his eyebrows at her, heat continuing to rush over him in waves. "You're the one whose birthday it is…I feel this is a bit unfair."
"Well, I'm generous like that," she purred, running her hands from the clasps on her thighs, slowly roaming up the lace covering her sides. John tried desperately to suppress the groan in his throat following the path of her attentive fingers. "Besides, this is a present for me too, watching you get so…excited."
She laughed a minx-like laugh as he glanced down, wondering if it was that obvious. It had only been a few days, but he had missed being with her like this so intensely. It would have surprised him if he hadn't been acutely aware of how much he loved her, these last few days more than ever. In this second, he realised it was as if he'd been waiting his whole life for this moment, even though he had had no idea it would happen.
"All day I've been waiting for this; since we got here, really," she said, echoing his thoughts. "I didn't think I'd be able to hold on." The longing in her voice was driving him wilder by the second. He saw that her shoulders were shivering a little, and she teethed her bottom lip before she spoke again. "But I hope it was worth the wait."
"Most certainly," he said, his sigh seeming to last longer. "Anna, I can't find the words…you are incredible."
Her smile said everything as she tossed her head gently, blonde hair flicking over her shoulder. "You don't have to just look, you can touch too." As if to encourage him she was arching her hips, almost walking into his waiting hands, her breathing getting a little unsteady. "I need your touch."
His hands had a delicate strength when he laid them upon her, cupping her sides. She inhaled sharply and then let go with a sigh, not melting but only feeling stronger as he began to glide his fingers up and down slowly. Her own hands had begun to wander over him, and she stopped long enough to unbutton his shirt fluidly. Before she could push it off his shoulders, he brought her closer, cradling her to his chest. He couldn't quite differentiate between the silk of the bodice and that of her hair; they seemed one and the same.
She had nestled her arms against him instinctively, not seeming to notice or care about the change in mood. He loved that their intimacy was like this, not driven by pure lust but by closeness. It felt just as passionate and loving, but incredibly special most of all. He let the fingers of one hand curl into the locks he found so irresistible and kept the other held to the small of her back, letting her warmth fade into him too.
He smiled as she stirred a little, moving against him.
"It feels amazing to hold you like this," he said against the top of her head, the sincerity he spoke making his chest ache a little. She clung on tighter and he knew he was smiling like a sentimental fool. "When you're in my arms, I feel like I can take on the whole world. You make me invincible."
It was as if she was still burrowed to him when she pulled back to look at him, the imprint of her body always fixed to him.
"John…" she breathed, her blue irises sparkling with unshed tears as she was overcome.
Even though he knew they were caused by joy, he felt a pang hit him square in the chest. He raised his hands to cup her cheeks tenderly, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles. He smiled at her delicate features, how his palms seemed to cover them almost completely. Every time he looked at her and the longer he did he found some new fragment of undiscovered beauty to wonder at. She was smiling again and he wished he could stay here forever, just the two of them, the only thing he would ever need.
He let out a long sigh, gazing at her and smoothing his hand over her soft skin. She was so precious; such a marvel. "I never knew it could be like this."
She placed a hand upon his arm, and he shuddered with the electricity of her touch. "Only with you," she whispered softly, with a smile upon her lips.
"And only with you," he echoed, watching her eyes flutter. Only ever with you, he thought. I was living my life lost without you…
She moved his wrist away from her face just so she could lean up towards his lips, which were longing for her just as much. They met with perfect harmony, a loving kiss that sent him soaring. His fingers trailed down her neck, over her collarbone, willing himself to stay slow, to ensure she knew how much she was loved with everything he had.
As his hands strayed lower, meeting the frill of the basque and brushing the tops of her breasts, it was getting harder to resist, especially when she made a little breathy sound from between puckered lips. He kissed them once more, leading them into a longer, more passionate embrace with happy obliging from Anna. She was the one who was guiding his hands lower; he stroked his thumbs over the lines of lace, ran one fingertip down the row of clasps that were holding the garment in place, thinking all the while of what was underneath.
"It's all for you," she managed to whisper against his mouth, her hands against the bare skin of his sides now that she had shrugged his shirt free. The candles were flickering around them; some had been extinguished, barely able to stand the heat. Their flames had been transferred onto him, his gaze burning while he dipped to capture her lips and renew the kiss, his never leaving hers as she walked them backwards slowly.
She was the first one to meet the bed, her knees giving way as she fell with a soft bounce. Bringing her arms back, she lay there looking absolutely ravishing, golden curls draped over her shoulders, her legs crossed. He took a moment to simply stare, trying to believe that this was all real. With a little giggle, she took his hand and pulled him down towards her swiftly. He kissed her deeply again before collapsing to his knees, in absolute awe.
How he had never believed it before, he couldn't quite fathom but it seemed to make sense now, at least before her. As the tips of his fingers trailed over her reverently, he knew that he was made for her, and made to love her like this.
Her breathing was shallow in anticipation, and she started to gasp when he concentrated his attention on her thighs. Unclipping the suspenders slowly, one after the other, his fingers ran over and across, discovering how soft she was. He rested his hands at the tops, gazing up to be reassured that she wanted him to continue. Receiving the acknowledgement, the lace knickers landed upon the floor, followed by the sheer stockings. Ghosting one hand over her thighs, he linked the other with hers. He didn't let go throughout, as he pressed his mouth to her, kissing her tenderly, letting his tongue trail over, giving her all the pleasure that it was possible for him to give. When she couldn't find the breath to cry out his name any longer, she squeezed his hand tightly, before her whole body went limp.
"I…" she murmured, her voice quivering.
"Shh, it's okay."
John peppered tiny kisses on the inside of her thigh where she wasn't too sensitive to be unable to handle them, before bringing himself upwards. She had recovered by then enough to sit up a little and he stilled her hands from moving across the bodice, holding them with his.
"We've got all night for that," he smiled, eliciting a giggle from her, which was swallowed when he kissed her again.
It was only the beginning of the most wonderful night of his life.
"Are you sure you've got everything?"
Susan stood at the gate, hovering and fussing while John loaded the bags into the boot of the car. Anna watched carefully too, a smirk creeping onto her face each time he bent over. Thoughts of their night tucked away in the cabin flooded her head and she did all that was humanly possible not to give herself away – it had been bad enough at breakfast, sharing secret glances over the table and stifling their giggles when they both thought of how they had crept back into the house just early enough to go back to their rooms unnoticed.
"Yes, mum, positive."
She gave her mother a wide smile before she pulled her into a hug, while John, having finished the laborious task of packing up, stood behind.
"Thank you so much. For everything," Anna whispered, knowing that her mum realised what she was implying. In reply, Susan stroked her hand down her daughter's back, embracing her tighter for a second.
"Just remember, not such an absence next time," Susan said, trying not to cry. Anna had already been on the verge when she had been saying goodbye to Beth, so she gave a final wave, bundling herself into the car.
She took a breath feeling John's hand covering hers.
"Well, that wasn't too painful after all," he uttered, and she let out a curious laugh.
"It wasn't," she agreed, shifting herself closer to him as she could in the space. "And it was a nice way to end. You know, it's always been a fantasy of mine, outdoors." She stifled a giggle as she watched him grow red. "It was close enough, for now."
"If you get me hot and bothered, I'm never going to get us back to London."
She laughed, her eyes locking with his for a long moment when she let his hand go. He gave her a smile that lingered, and then they were set off, Anna sinking back into the seat as the long journey began.
Above the rumble of the engine and the soft hum of the car radio, John's voice rose up, adding to the soothing atmosphere.
"Back to the real world," he sighed.
With a smile on her face, she turned her head to the side, happiness making her feel fuzzy as she saw that he was smiling too.
The break had been lovely, but she could never complain, not with things the way they were. Reality would always be better than any dream, anywhere she was with him.