"Are they gonna be okay?" Kevin asked getting up from his seat.

"Who?" The nurse asked

"Shane Halstead and Alexandra Lindsay?"

"I have no clue. I'm sorry. Dr. Manning is on her way over.."

"Nat? Any news on Shane or Alex?"

"Both of them are out of surgery. Alex had a punctured lung, Shane he is okay. His leg is broken from trying to stop the airbag. He's got a bad gash on his head. I'm not worried but he may have some amnesia. I'm not for sure.. But it's possible."

"YOU CALL THAT OKAY? MY SON IS IN THERE MIGHT HAVE SOME AMNESIA."

Erin got up and placed her hand on his chest and pulled him back. His breath was heavy. But he coughed and started to calm down.

"Jay.."

"I'm fine. I just got a little excited."

"Jay I know so many things are on your mind. Calm calm down. Alright." Jay nodded his head.

"I think you can go see them." Nat said

Jay sighed and took a deep breath, he started for the elevator.. Erin sat back with the babies but Kevin told her to go.. He'll watch them.

Erin met up with Jay and gave him a hug to try to comfort him. His heart raced and his mind was all over the place. His body was up against Erin who had her arms wrapped around his.

"I love you Erin."

"I do too Jay."

Will stood in front of a room, watching the boy lying in the bed closely. He hadn't ever done this for anyone except for the boy he calls his nephew. His heart raced just like his brother's and his body was turned towards his little brother who was walking towards him.

"Let me go see him."

"Yeah Jay. Go." Will moved out of the way for Jay to pass into the room. Erin stood outside the door, as she knew just give Jay some time.

"Hey pal.. Hey Shanster, hey bud. I miss you. Y'know I know I've forgotten about you since the twins and since I met Erin. I'm sorry I have… You mean the world to me, I know you might think I've forgotten about your mom.. Son she's on my mind 24/7. Her face never leaves me. She was the first woman I loved, and I will always love her. I If only I could have been home that day with you and her. Sh she wouldn't have gone. We never told you but she's was pregnant with your little sister.. Her her name was gonna be Brooklynn Olivia.. I loved that name. So did your mom. She died when your mom was killed. I I never told anyone and you probably won't remember this conversation anyway. I love you son. I never want you to forget about me, your mom. I know you've got three little siblings now. I think you don't really care. One day you're going to meet the girl of your dreams.. I hope she's as lovely as your mom was, and I hope every day she steals your heart like your mom did and like Erin does. I hope you have a little son who makes you wanna choke him and a little daughter who never fails to make you smile. I do, I have three little sons who make me wanna love them more than myself which I do. I have loved you since I first knew about you. I will love you until I take my last breath. Same with Lex,JJ and Lane.. I will love them forever. I hope you get well soon kid, I need my shooting buddy." Jay laughed. "You're going places kid.. I hope one day you find that your dreams came true.. That they will always continue to come true." Erin didn't hear the last part but she heard the part where he said she steals her heart.. Even in a time of grieve. She still knew how to smile. That's what was special..

Her smile on a happy day could light up any room but when it was a dark day she couldn't light up the room instead to those grieving she could bring a little bit of light..

He looked back and saw Will standing there who had listened to his whole conversation to his coma son.. Erin sat on her daughter's bed holding her hand tightly.

"Hey kid Momma's here. I'm never leaving. The doctor said you were gonna be okay. Your whole family is here waiting for you to wake up so DO momma a favor and wake up. Shane is gonna be okay too I promise." Kevin Adam and Kim stood outside the door watching everyone watching Erin.

"Hey it's gonna be okay. I promise." Kevin said

"She's got all of us behind her." Adam said walking over and putting the flowers and stuffed animal down.

Erin chuckled "She's already got so many stuffed animals."

Adam shot her a glare "She can never have too many."

"I know I know." Nadia stood in the doorway watching her goddaughter.

"Just like when I first saw her. Sleeping peacefully." Nadia said

"Will." Jay spat

"Yeah?"

"Where's the key to Mom's safety deposit box?"

"Huh why?" Will turned his head watching Jay

"I want to ask Erin to marry me with Mom's ring."

"I I will get it. Shouldn't you ask Him?" Will pointed back to Hank who watching watch the both of them.

Jay smiled.

"Hank."

"Yeah son?"

"I want your blessing to marry Erin. I really wanna do it. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me since my wife died. I love her more than anything I promise to always protect her and the kids. I just want to ask you."

"Jay you didn't even have to ask. The way Shane stepped up and the way you did carrying Erin's burdens on your shoulders. The answers always gonna be yes. I know you love her and the kids. I can never thank Shane enough for saving Alex's life. I mean nothing will ever top it. He's going places and you've done a beautiful job raising him."

"Thanks Hank."

"Jay.. Take good care of them.. They are all I have left." Jay nodded his head then walked back to the room where Erin was,

"Erin.. I love you.. You're so strong."

"Jay.."

"Those kids are gonna be okay.. I mean after all they are Halstead's.."

"No they aren't.. Alex isn't a Halstead.." Erin said

"NO but she will be.. Erin.. I I want to marry you, make me the happiest guy. Alex will be a Halstead, and the boys will be ours. Like they already are. I don't want to tip toe, and not be your husband. I've always known I'd find someone.. After Amelia. I had lost hope for a while after but then I met you and all my hope was restored. I love you I don't have the ring but I just wanna ask.."

"Jay." He turned around and Will had threw him the box..

Jay opened the box up and his smile contained his entire face. Erin's smile through the tears was something he would never forget.

"It was my mom's.. I didn't use it for Amelia because Will had wanted it but he never used it.. So I wanted to use it because your smile your laugh.. Your heart is just full of gold.. Our kids are so lucky to have you. Because of you they know and will know the true meaning of what it means to have a mom.. I know your past. I know Er don't let it cloud your present.. Your mom is just nobody.. She doesn't deserve you.. I don't either. I don't know why you walked into my life but I'm glad you did.. I always will be thankful you did because I found what I was looking for."

"I don't know what to say.."

"I'm just hoping you say yes." Jay laughed

"Jay you came into my life and, you mean the world to me.. I couldn't imagine life without you.. Shane saved my baby girl and I can't ever thank him enough for that.. I wanna marry you so badly.. But it's up to Lex."

"Lex already gave me.. It was her idea."

"Yes Jay.. I will marry you." Jay grabbed her cheeks and kissed her while smiling. Will watched him

"I haven't seen Jay this happy since Amelia." Mouse said

"You make me so happy baby." Jay said giving her another kiss.

Erin looked down at Lex. Then looked up as Platt stood in the room smiling.

"Hey Little Lindsay… I miss you kid. When you wake up I'm gonna take you on a tour of the district.. tell you all it's secrets. I'm gonna take you for a ride in the squad car." Platt smiled at the little girl who stole her heart five years ago.

"Where's the little monster?" Platt asked

"She's in the nursery." Hank said

"Oh. I was hoping to come see her. Is Erin doing alright?"

"I don't know what's going on in that head of hers. She hasn't spoken to me in days."

Platt and Hank took a walk down to the nursery, to see the little girl. Hank's girl.

"Hi Little Lindsay. I'm Platt… I'm not your grandma but I'm gonna spoil you. And I'm going to make sure you know you've got a family who loves you."

"Little Lindsay, I told you this when you were born… You're so loved from all of us. We just need you to wake up. You got it kid? Can you promise me. Can you do that?" There was no answer but the monitors beeping was all anyone could hear.

Shane was in the room next to her, and Jay hadn't visited him.

He hadn't gotten up off the bed, kissed Alex's small head then walked out.

The twins were with Kim and Adam for until they could see if Erin needed some time.

Jay stood in the middle of the room staring down his son. His favorite thing as a kid, was taking him to the park, takin him to Disney seeing that smile on his face.

Jay loved that smile he loved his laugh. Hearing those things made life worth it.

"Shane… I ask Erin to marry me, I know you never were fond of me marrying her or even dating her but she's the love of my life…. I just need to tell you that I love you more than anything kid, and if you wanna go. I guess go. Because I can't make you stay. It's all up to you. The doctors did their best. I know that.. I'm thankful for all the time we got to spend. you are forever my son kid. I haven't been this sad since your mom had died. Truth is I don't know how to deal with death. I never knew. I never will. I can't lose you but if today the day you need to leave me. then go kid. I love you Shane Joshua Halstead… I always will kid." Jay bent down and kissed him on the head then he walked away. Jay heard coughing, and he looked back to see his son wide awake trying to pull the tube out of his neck.

"NURSE I NEED A NURSE!" Jay shouted and of course the rest of the team came running towards them.

"Jay.." Erin said

"H he woke up." Jay said "He woke up. My boy." Jay smiled as his fiancée pulled him in for a hug.

"Everything is gonna be alright. Shane is okay. Alex is gonna be okay."

"I love you Er.." Erin nodded her head

"Dad." He heard

His heart had stopped beating for a moment, and his smile was the biggest Erin had ever seen.

"Son. Boy I'm here. I'm here I'm never leaving. I swear boy."

"I'm sorry. Is Lex okay? This is all my fault.."

"She's gonna be okay. She's in a medically induced coma to help with the pain. Shane this isn't your fault I swear boy."

"Boy, you're gonna know it all
You'll think you're ten feet tall

And run like you're bulletproof"

"But It was my idea.. I thought of taking her to the Cubs game.."

"Shane.." He heard a familiar voice standing in the doorway of his room.

"I'm sorry." He said. Daniel nodded his head. "I shouldn't have done that. Stolen your girlfriend. Nearly losing you. Made me think. I shouldn't have. It was wrong."

"Daniel.."

"Yeah if you want me to go Shane. I'll go. I just wanted you to know I couldn't live without you. I couldn't survive a life without my best friend. I was an asshole to you before but you mean a lot to me. I'm sorry for being an ass, I hope you can forgive me one day."

"I'm sorry Daniel. I acted like an ass after your dad had passed away. I didn't know what you were going through.. I hope you can forgive me."

"I do.."

"Is this Shane Halstead's room?" A familiar voice asked. Shane's head shot up, and the smile was covering his face ear to ear.

"You're Kris Bryant.." Kris laughed

"And you'r-"

"Anthony Rizzo.." Anthony said laughing "Yeah. How you doing kid?"

"I've had better days..I wish I could have come and seen y'all but I guess god had other plans."

"We wanted to come visit you. Say hello drop off some presents. We hear you're a pretty big Cubs fan." Shane laughed

"Only since I could breathe." Kris walked closer as he held the signed hat in his hand

"We wanted to give you this along with the winning ball and all of our player cards signed… Your dad had told us you had all of them from the 1998 team."

"Yeah. It was a Christmas present from my uncle, before he died on my fourth Christmas. Best Christmas present I ever got. Thank you this means a lot. But the little girl next door is probably your biggest fan. Born and Raised Cubs fan. She was the most happiest kid the day y'all won the series. My parents had let her stay up. She looks at me with that smile on her face. 'They won. The CUBBIES WON. Mommy. Daddy.' I never seen a kid more happy. This means a lot."

"Kid anytime you need a favor. Just give us a call. Need help surprising your girl.." Anthony laughed

"Thanks guys. Are you gonna come back to visit Lex?" Kris and Anthony both nodded their heads

"You bet our asses we will. That kid's probably our biggest youngest fan."

"No I think my youngest twins are your youngest fans.. They are a week old." Jay laughed as he stood up and walked Kris and Anthony out of the door.

"I appreciate this. I really do."

"No problem. Call us when Lex wakes up. We'll be Here. I think we'll bring the whole team."

"Really? She'd love that." Kris and Anthony smiled

Jay stepped back into the room and saw Shane talking to Erin. "Jay I think you should tell him." Erin suggested

"Shane… I gotta tell you something." Shane looked at Jay then looked at Erin

"What's wrong? Is Lex gonna wake up?"

"Yeah Lex is fine. I asked Erin to Marry me. I should have asked you but I love her. I wanted her."

"Dad if you were gonna ask for my permission. You don't have to, you never will. Erin makes you happy. I saw it when you came home. You love her, and she loves you. You deserve to be happy.."

"Thank you boy."

"You deserve it. I know you love me and the boys and Lex."

"I do. I always will kid. You scared me."

"I miss Mom…"

"I know you do kid. She was so special."

"Best thing that ever happened to me before I met Erin."

"Jay.." Erin said

"I love you Erin. More than anything. All I hope is to be what you've always wanted.."

Erin sighed as Jay kissed her.

"ERIN!" Will shouted

"Oh gosh." She mumbled as she ran towards her daughters room.

"What? Is she gonna be okay?"

"I I don't know. Her vitals dropped."

"Will." Erin looked down at her daughter and held her hand.

"I'm sorry. I don't know if there is anything we can do." Jay looked at his brother then pushed him against the wall.

"Will you save that girl. I don't care what you have to do. You break a law. My ass is bailing you out of jail. I don't care. That little girl. I need her in my life."

"I'm gonna try."

"Jay." Erin said

He didn't budge. "Jay." Erin spat

"I'm okay I'm okay. I just."

"Jay calm.." Erin walked closer to him and put her hand on his chest. Like she normally does.

"It's all gonna be okay."

"She's not supposed to go this early. It should be you or me. I can't lose her. I won't lone her. After meeting you she's been my little girl. I lost one before I'm not losing her."

"Jay. She's not going anywhere."

"I know I know."

"Jay…"

"I got scared I haven't gotten that scared since Amelia died. I haven't gotten that scared since Alex was nearly killed. I just want her to be okay."

"Jay she's not leaving us.."

Jay turned around and his body faced Alex as she opened her eyes and smiled at her dad once she realized who it was.

"Alex baby girl." Erin said rushing toward her

"She was never gonna die. She's okay. She was just sleeping."

"So why'd you tell us she was?"

"I don't know.. I figured she needed to sleep it off. Her head swelling had gone down."

"Will I'm gonna kill you." Jay laughed as he hugged his brother.

Erin had looked down at her phone. Her body stopped moving. And she froze. Looking up at Jay.

"Nad-Nadia.."

"What happened?"

"She was just found dead. She had tearing down below. Her body was cold like she had been for a couple of days. How did I not know this?"

Antonio stood in the doorway. "You."

"No me nothing. I didn't want you to worry. We thought we had her safe but we didn't."

"I I don't care I deserved to know this. What the hell Tony!" Erin pushed him back

"Erin chill."

"Don't tell me t-." Jay pulled her back and held her body as she cried. Her body went cold and numb.

"She was only 22.. she had her whole life in front of her. What am I going to tell Lex?"

"Erin we'll worry about that later.."

"Jay if you wanna stay with the kids I I will take her home.."

"No I'm staying here."

"Erin you shouldn't be here. They had her in trauma one.."

"I I wanna see her."

"Erin. I don't think it's a good idea." Jay said as he held her tightly.

"Jay you don't get to decide what's good and what's bad for me."

"I'm only looking out for you. Sorry if that's such a problem."

Erin sighed then walked away following Antonio out into the waiting room. He noticed Hank and Al standing over the bed. Watching her. With Blake Hank's grandson standing nearby.

"Erin.."

"Where is she?"

"She's in the bed.. They are still examining her."

Erin walked over and took a deep breath with her eyes closed before she saw Nadia. Her body aching with pain. Her tears hadn't begun streaming down her face yet but once she saw her face she couldn't hold it back. It all came back the memories of her holding Alex. The memory of saving her life.

"Nadia.. I will miss you.." Erin's legs buckled and Jay caught her fall before holding her tightly on the ground in his arms as she cried.

This was the hardest part to write.. And it only gets better from here. Thanks for reading.