Conversations: Part 1

"When I look into your eyes it's like staring at the moon.

Don't smirk at me you ass, just hear me out. I'm drunk, but so are you, so just shut up and let me talk.

I love you. You know that, or you'd better because fuck me if I don't tell you every time I see you. But-

But sometimes you're just so distant, you know? You're this great, shining, wonderful thing that's always there except that sometimes it doesn't seem like it? And you, you pull people towards you but all silently and without them even noticing, you know? And you're great, you are. You- You're wonderful, babe. And I don't deserve you- I don't, shut up this is my time to talk so just listen, okay?

I don't deserve you. I leave all the time, and I don't call, and I'm sorry for that. I am.

And I'm grateful, that you're still here for me after everything. I don't… I honestly don't know what the fuck I'd do without you. I love you. And you're wonderful. But, babe, sometimes you're just, it's like you're just-

It's like you're a thousand miles away, even when you're lying next to me.

And I don't know how much more of that I can take."

Conversations: Part 2 (unrealated to Part 1)

"Roy-"

"No.

Shut up for once, okay?

I'm done.

I'm so. Fucking. Done.

I'm not listening to you anymore you hear me you crazy bastard? No more excuses, no more of your shit about 'duty' or 'sacrifice'. No fucking more.

Just.

No more.

You're going to stop letting Dick push you around. No. Shut up. I mean it. You stay quiet, or Lian finds out why Uncle Kaldur missed her birthday.

Tell him you need off the team. Don't even bother saying want, because it isn't a fucking desire. You're going to die out there one of these days if you stay with them.

Don't look at me like that. You know it's true. You keep pulling your noble sacrifice bullshit like you used to before Raquel beat some sense into your dumb ass. I don't know if it's because of Wally or what you had to do when you were under or because they all look so fucking young and you're a sentimental idiot. But it needs to stop. And the only way that's going to happen is if you get out.

Don't sigh at me like that. And stop. Moving.

Here, we're going to sit down. We are going to sit down right here on this fucking couch, and we're going to have a talk before Lian gets home from Ollie's house. And unless you have something constructive to say, you're going to keep your sweet mouth shut, got it?

Good.

You need out Kaldur. And I'm not just saying that because you're going to get yourself killed. You need. A. Break.

It wasn't fair of Dick to push the leader role back to you. You know it, I know it, Dick knows it, hell Amistad probably knows it, and he's two.

What happened with Wally sucked. For everyone. But Dick should have seen how tired you were. How tired you still are.

No, keep your mouth shut or I'll shut if for you. I know you, Kaldur. I see you. There's a weight on your shoulders that didn't used to be there, and I know you haven't been sleeping well.

I know about the nightmares. No, I wasn't sleeping through them. Yes, you wake me up almost every night. I didn't say anything because I was hoping you'd just open up and talk to me.

I guess I haven't learned a damn thing in ten years either, huh?

I wish the only words I knew in Atlantean were please, thank-you, harder, and I love you. But they're not.

I know the words for no, traitor, murderer, and monster. And I didn't learn them from a dictionary. I learned them from you whispering them over and over again every night since we fell back together.

That's four months, babe.

You need to talk to someone, because I know you won't talk to me. I've already scheduled you to go see Dinah tomorrow, but we can switch if you don't want to talk to anyone in the League.

Babe, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, you fucking idiot.

And you need help.

And I can't deal with this anymore. I can work through the nightmares. I'll wake up in the middle of the night every night for the rest of my life it means I'm waking up next to you. I can deal with everything that comes our way if it's helping you get through this.

But dammit, I can't watch you kill yourself. I won't.

If you don't tell Grayson you quit tomorrow, I'm taking Lian and going."

"… Nightwing has the day off tomorrow."

"So we'll give him a fucking phone call."

"I do not want to leave the team without a leader."

"Two words. Barbara. Fucking. Gordon. The girl's been waiting on your ass to leave for the last year anyways."

"…"

"If you say "that was three words" like I know you're tempted to I will ounch you in the face, smartass."

"I would not dare to contemplate it."

"Good."

"…"

"…"

"Roy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank-you."

"You're welcome. Now help me make dinner. Lian wanted curry tonight and you know I'm terrible at sauces."

"Roy?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, you giant disaster. C'mere."