"April? April, time to get up. School's in an hour and a half."
Slowly, April opened her eyes to see Donnie's face hovering above her. With a moan, she pulled the blanket up over her face.
"Come on, April."
"Donnie," she protested.
She hated being woken up. Once she had finally achieved sleep—real, nightmare-free sleep—she never wanted to wake up again. She knew that Donnie was only doing as she had asked him to, but it was hard not to resent him for it nevertheless.
"So, uh," Donnie said, his tone somewhat hesitant, "you didn't come wake me up or call me anytime during the night. Did you manage to sleep through?"
Finally sitting up and stretching, April yawned. "No," she muttered. "But some of Atsuko's—Mei, I mean—some of her meditation techniques have helped. "
Donnie's face lit up. "That's great!" he said. He gave her a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. "That's really great."
April laid her head on Donnie's shoulder for a moment, not wanting to do anything else for the rest of the day but be here where she knew she would be safe. "It's something," she said.
Donnie's voice was reassuring. "Which is better than nothing."
"I guess." When she looked up see the disappointment in his eyes, she felt terrible. She frequently shot down his attempts at positivity. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"Being…such a downer."
"You're not a downer," Donnie said. "Don't say stuff like that."
"Thanks, Donnie."
Donnie smiled. "No problem. See you at breakfast in a bit." He gave her a quick kiss and left the room.
April grabbed her towel and favorite outfit and went to the lair's only bathroom. Walking in and locking the door behind her, she rolled her eyes at how messy it was. Apparently, only Donnie and Master Splinter were capable of not leaving towels on the floor. Furthermore, there were always globs of toothpaste stuck to the sink, and no matter how hard Donnie had tried to get the water in their personal plumbing pure, the minerals still tended to leave buildup around the tub, sink, and toilet. For individuals who didn't shave, use cosmetics, or hair products, April couldn't fathom how they managed to keep the bathroom so messy and cluttered.
They were supposed to be on a five-week rotation for cleaning, with each of the guys and then Master Splinter taking a turn, but only when it was Donnie's or Splinter's turn did the bathroom actually get properly cleaned. Even then, it was back to being a disaster within two days.
Cringing as she climbed into the tub—the mineral buildup always seemed to make the tub feel vaguely slimy—April turned on the water and went about her daily ablutions.
Before she had started suffering so much stress, she hadn't been staying at the lair on a daily basis. She much rather would have preferred to use her own neat, tidy bathroom in her apartment. But being alone in her apartment made her feel vulnerable. Furthermore, she hated getting undressed—the feeling of being naked triggered memories of nearly being Shredder's victim. At least when she knew that her friends were nearby, she could be safe.
Nevertheless, she spent as little time in the shower as possible.
After toweling off, she got dressed, combed her hair, and walked back to her room. She hung her towel over the doorframe, since the idea of leaving it in the messy bathroom was vaguely disturbing. Then, after loading up her book bag and tying on her shoes, she grabbed the stuff she would need for the day and headed to the kitchen for breakfast.
Raphael was practically falling asleep into his bowl of cereal; Mikey was scrambling some eggs. Leo was reading a magazine while drinking a glass of orange juice and Donnie watched the toaster.
"Morning guys," April said.
Raph looked up at her with his usual morning face—something that wouldn't be inappropriate in a zombie movie—before remembering that he was eating. He shoved another spoonful of cereal in his mouth.
"Hey," Leo said absentmindedly.
Donnie greeted her with a big smile—one that April couldn't help but reply to with a smile of her own.
"You want some eggs, April?" Mikey said, as he poured the beaten eggs into a hot skillet.
April eyed the eggs skeptically. Mikey's cuisine seldom agreed with her palate. "Uh, cereal sounds good."
"Your loss."
"Here, April," Donnie said cheerfully. "I made you some toast."
Raph snorted. However, Donnie didn't react at all, where once he would have gotten rather flustered. Instead, he just put the toast onto a plate and handed it to her with a smile.
"Thanks, Donnie," April said. She sat down at the table and started munching on the crispy bread.
"Don't you want some jam or something?" Mikey asked.
April's mouth was full, so before she could swallow and reply, Donnie spoke up. "April likes her toast plain," he said.
Raph snorted again. This time, Donnie shot him a dirty look.
"Yeah," she said. "I don't know why, I just always have."
"You are seriously messed up, dudette," said Mikey, shaking his head, as he poured a strange chunky substance on top of his eggs.
"What is that?" April asked, wrinkling her nose.
"Anchovy and jalapeno chutney," Mikey said. "I picked the toppings off of one of my slices of pizza yesterday and made it."
"That's…I don't even know what to say, Mikey."
"Yeah, I know. I'm a genius, right?" As he took a large bite of his breakfast, a single anchovy tail fell off of his fork and plopped onto the plate.
Suddenly, April found her toast didn't taste quite as good anymore.
"Want me to walk you to school, April?" Donnie asked, as he put some toast onto a plate for himself.
Predictably, Raph snorted.
"Do you have something stuck in your throat or something?" Donnie snapped.
April saw the three other turtles exchange covert, amused glances. She knew that the subject of Donnie's affections for her was a source of much amusement for them—and the fact he generally overreacted to their teasing only encouraged it all the more.
Donnie looked at her. That look. The one she had come to dread. The one that said, Can't we tell them?
"No," she said, shaking her head. She meant it as an answer to both Donnie's spoken and implicit questions. "I'll be fine."
Donnie's expression drooped.
"It's all right, Donnie," Raph said. "You can go outside and play some other time today."
Mikey and Leo made a quiet sound which suggested that they were stifling a laugh.
April glanced at her watch. "I need to get going now," she said. She stood up and set her empty plate in the sink. "Thanks for the toast, Donnie, it was great. Not too light or dark. Just the way I like it."
Donnie beamed.
"See ya, guys!" she said.
All of the turtles waved or said goodbye.
The minute she was out of the kitchen, she heard raucous laughter. Though she couldn't quite hear what was being said, she thought she heard Donnie shrilly saying, "She's not my girlfriend!"
Oh, Donnie, she thought, feeling a pang of guilt as she continued on her way to school. I'm sorry about this. She wasn't sure why she didn't want anyone else but Tang Mei to know about her and Donnie. April knew, on a certain level, that she was being selfish. Part of it was that she was afraid that if their relationship failed, then there would always be the awkward strain with the other guys too, not just Donnie.
The other part of it, however, she didn't understand, but she knew it had something to do with her post-traumatic stress. Perhaps she was terrified that if she publicly acknowledged their relationship, it would suddenly be taken away from her. Another possibility was that she was afraid she was only taking advantage of Donnie to help her heal, and so she was ashamed of herself for it. She turned over hypothesis after hypothesis in her mind, trying to figure out why she felt the need to keep it secret—but none of them seemed to touch the truth.
She wished that she had a concrete reason—she owed that to Donnie. However, until she found whatever it was she needed to be comfortable publicly acknowledging that Donnie was her boyfriend, she was grateful to him for—if not understanding—supporting her.
She climbed out through what she thought of as 'her' manhole cover—the one that was only half a city block from a bus stop that serviced her school. When she caught a blast of fresh—relatively speaking—air, she drew a deep breath and mentally prepared herself for the rest of her day.
When she arrived at school and saw that the day's itinerary included assembly hall, she groaned. Since she and Casey Jones had such thoroughly different class schedules, she never saw him anytime accept for after school activities or general assembly. Once, she would have been excited by the prospect of seeing him during the day—now, she dreaded it.
Granted, he had done a marvelous job of avoiding her. She couldn't even remember the last time that she saw him except for maybe at a distance down the hall. And really, she was okay with that. She still hadn't one hundred percent processed what had happened between them. She wasn't sure if she hated him for selling her out or felt sorry for him because of his problems. Either way, she had found that not thinking about it was generally the best coping strategy.
Assembly, it turned out, was for a big presentation on careers, encouraging high-schoolers to think about their futures. As she sat down, she found herself thinking that she would be content knowing what to expect from tomorrow, let alone planning for years down the road.
Several other students were cramming into the assembly hall—there was much general murmuring about how sick people were of these career presentations. A large group of people started moving into the row in front of April. She was looking at the handout, so she didn't really notice until she heard a familiar voice say, "Let's not sit here."
Her insides froze. It was Casey. She told herself not to look up at him.
"Come on, man. This is one of the only spots left, unless you want to go sit with the marching band geeks."
"I just really don't like being this close to the door."
"Deal with it, man."
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Casey sit down three seats over in the row in front of her. No matter how much she told herself not to look, eventually, she did. She was startled to see that he was looking over his shoulder at her. Their eyes met briefly, then both of them looked away.
April's heart was racing. She felt panicky knowing that part of the reason she had been traumatized was sitting less than two meters away from her. Still, according to Donnie, Casey hadn't intended for it to happen. She wasn't sure if that made her any less angry at him. Even more, she was furious that he hadn't told her himself.
Forget about Casey, she said to herself. You're with Donnie now. You're with someone you can trust.
After assembly was dismissed, April hurried to her next class, keeping her eyes on the floor in front of her so she wouldn't have to see Casey as he walked past.