Daybreak came without the glistening sun shining through the break in the curtains, but Tina awoke as though she was waking to the first real day of her life. Until that morning it was as if she had spent every moment of her existence wandering blindly in a world of gray. Color had been poured into that dull universe of hers, drenching everything in vivid hues so abruptly it made Tina's head spin. All of her qualms at the notion of attending Theseus' wedding, all the excuses her mind tried to get her to hide behind - all of it seemed silly to her suddenly. Her zealous heart was singing ballads as it beat against her chest while she laid, snug in her mammoth bed, thinking of only his lips. So soft and gentle they were against hers, no more than the delicate touch of butterfly wings. Tina could still feel the tingle of his mouth on hers, and it rippled through her very core.
For only a second her mind lured her into the persuasion that it had all been a dream. A wonderful illusion where Newt had danced with her, held her close, laughed and smiled, and shared with her that profound moment under the stars. But it wasn't a dream; such things always played out in Tina's mind through a veil of fog that distorted every image. Her evening with Newt shined brighter in her mind than any star in the cosmos. From the way his rough fingertips left an eruption of gooseflesh on her skin as they mapped the expanse of her neck and cheek with feather light touches, to the dark pools of his eyes just before he closed the distance between them. It was all absolutely clear to Tina that none of it was a dream.
With an affable breath and a series of stretches, Tina pulled herself out of bed and onto her feet. There was a minuscule amount of light in the room, only a sliver of gray trickled in from the gap in the drapes. She crossed over to the window in a few nimble paces, tossing back the thick curtains wide enough to fill the dim space with silvery light.
Beyond the towering casement the countryside was still fast asleep under a blanket of rain clouds. There's that infamous English weather – Tina mused with a bit of a smirk. Tiny raindrops were beginning to pepper the glass with round beads of moisture. They fell quietly, not yet heavy enough to pit-pat as they stuck the roof. A fog had swept over the pastures – dense and crawling from the depths of the trees lining in the distance. The dreary weather seemed fitting. Tina was finally comfortable being there, and in only a matter of hours, she would be back in New York. Time had managed to slip past her, even in those few moments when, to her, the clock had stopped altogether. She would be with her sister again, sleeping in her own bed again, and she would be back to work on the morrow. She would also be an entire ocean away from Newt again.
Trying not to dwell on her melancholy heart, Tina gathered her bag and made her way to the facilities down the hall to proceed with her morning routine. Featherbeak's upper level was eerily quiet as she tiptoed a few doors down until she reached the bathroom. It, too, was an enormous and fanciful spectacle of a lavatory. Tina even had to wonder if maybe all the rooms were enchanted with extension charms like Newt's case. The estate was grand enough from an outward perspective, but the interior was almost akin to a castle.
Tina grimaced from the initial feel of the cold tile under her bare feet when she stepped over the threshold; the air itself was just as chilly. Every sound echoed in the spacious room, none so much as the knobs on the sink – crying out with a shrill squeak as she twisted the brass furnishings. She let the water run hot until steam coated the mirror with a thin layer of condensation. While the claw-foot tub behind her looked enticing, Tina opted to hold off on an actual bath for when she had the privacy and familiarity of her own apartment. Instead, she washed herself simply with a cloth from the sink. The warm rag did little to take the nip out of the air as she scrubbed her skin lightly; in fact, the cold air combined with her wet flesh sent a shiver through her. Tina dried herself quickly with a spell and dressed in a gray, A-line skirt with a blue cotton blouse. The garments were far from the splendiferous frock she had worn the night before – no shimmering moon kissed fabric, or ornate beadwork – just a few silver buttons on an otherwise boring shirt.
The steam on the mirror had vanished enough to reveal Tina's reflection. She wasn't usually one to stand and gawk at her appearance, but she found herself drawn to the image of her pale pink lips. There was not the faintest indication on them that they had been forever changed. Yet they still thrummed with the sensation of his lips. Absently, Tina traced a finger over the delicate skin, unsure as to what she was hoping to feel. Her touch lingered there, her eyes still captivated by the reflection of her lips. Then, with a drop of her hand, she scowled, pressing her lips into a hard line. Mercy Lewis! You are not a giddy school girl, Porpentina! Get a hold of yourself. What if it happened because he had too much to drink, or got caught up in the moment? Do not rush to conclusions. He might not even remember!
Tina was holding onto the hope that Newt had kissed her because he shared some semblance of what she felt. But she'd had her heart broken before – as her mind so often loved to remind her – and Tina was unwilling to let her heart suffer that fate again. She could no longer deny that over the course of their friendship, Newt had started to mean something more to her than just her friend the Magizoologist. Tina found herself wanting nothing other than for him to share those unusual feelings, but until he said it out right, she would admire from afar if only to keep the pieces of her heart intact.
Tina sauntered back to her room with an acute somberness looming like a plague at the forefront of her mind. Her movements were slow and heavy, weighted from the reality Newt may never feel for her the way she was beginning to for him. Thankfully, packing provided her with a considerable distraction from the rueful thoughts of him.
The over generous bedroom was still dim, and the rain outside had grown steadier, hitting the window in sporadic tinks. Tina hummed as she packed, if only hoping the happy melody would eclipse the load her thoughts were urging onto her heart. She neatly folded her nightclothes among various other garments, tucking them into her suitcase, and could not quell the fissure of woe that returned.
Packing had preoccupied all of Tina's thoughts regarding that moment, but finishing had once again woken those bittersweet emotions that came from leaving. She longed to see her sister again – beautiful, sweet Queenie – to be back at work – the rush and thrill of it – but those things she could only attain by losing and leaving behind people she now cared about. Newt's family had burrowed deep into her heart; Theseus, Lillian, Louise – especially Louise. The Irish woman had reminded Tina what it was to have a mother; a hole in her. So many years she spent being mother to Queenie that Tina was practically numb to that void inside her. Louise had – in just a few days – filled that empty piece of her, rekindling that forgotten flame inside.
"Oh! Ya are awake!"
Tina glanced up from her packing, just as Newt's mother eagerly invited herself into the room, carrying with her two steaming mugs.
"Good ta see yer an early riser like Newton an' meself." Louise handed her one of the hot beverages, while granting her a kind smile.
Tina seized the ceramic cup of coffee, uttering a soft thanks before taking a sip. The strange, yet newly familiar liquid warmed her completely the moment she swallowed, stopping the chill far more effectively than her sponge bath had. Her lips parted in a content smile.
"I've always been an early bird," Tina mentioned, as she placed the mug carefully on the bedside table; and for a brief moment she swore the photo of little Newt grinned at her. She quickly dismissed it with a blink, bottom lip caught firmly between her teeth.
Louise was leaning casually against the sculpted post at the foot of the bed, watching quietly as Tina resituated things in her case. Her attire, Tina noticed, was much less jaunty than it had been the night before. She wore a plain pair of trousers, tucked into gray boots – caked in mud - with a gray sweater and a blue and silver striped scarf that speckled her iris' with flakes of sapphire.
"I've been takin' care of de 'ippogriffs. Came in for a cup, figured I'd see if ya wanted one as well." She sipped her tea and continued. "I 'ope ya enjoyed yer time 'ere."
Tina responded with a prompt smirk and a nod, scooping her hair behind her ears.
"I have," she assured the woman wistfully.
Louise didn't say anything for a moment, but her cool gray eyes never moved from Tina, while a familiar crooked smile slowly taking shape on her full lips. Her pert gaze was not even slightly mild, and the dark-haired witch waited sheepishly for whatever comment the woman was creating.
"I noticed you an' Newton managed ta disappear las' night, just before da fireworks…"
Color climbed high onto Tina's face with a dull heat and she swiftly averted her gaze to her suitcase in an attempt to hide her blush.
"Newt took me stargazing." – That's not completely a lie – "We were both feeling a bit…cramped in the tent." – Also not a lie.
Louise's spirited expression remained, making it clear to Tina she did not buy that as the whole story. Her delighted features seethed with controlled enthusiasm and her eyes burned into Tina with a stormy sauciness.
"'Ow was it?" she asked casually.
"How was what?" Tina's throat grew tight and her heart skipped in her chest, once more fighting a blush.
Louise chuckled lightly, hoisting a brow. "Stargazing?"
Her brow remained cocked in a perfect arch, while her cheeky smirk deepened. Louise knew on some level – that much was obvious – that her son and Tina had done more than simple stargazing on that hilltop. Suddenly, it was all Tina could do to keep from going completely red faced.
Before she could even stop herself, a single word drifted from her lips to answer the woman's question: "Wonderful."
Louise's smirk morphed into a softer, more affectionate smile. There was an underlying satisfaction in her cheer, as if it had been her intention all along for Tina and Newt to discover one another.
Tina did her best to finish packing without any more blunders, feeling Louise's watchful eyes upon her. She neatly folded the dress she'd worn to the wedding and nestled it back into the box of pink tissue paper before at last placing it inside and closing the lid of the case. A chill shook her the moment she latched the piece of luggage, echoing in the empty room with a metallic click. Tina found an overwhelming sense of finality in that sound, and it made her stomach churn somewhat. Her trip was almost over.
"I'll be sad ta see ya go, dearie." Louise said, as if she had read Tina's mind. "I know Newton feels da same."
Tina's arms instinctively wrapped around her middle, as if by doing so she could keep herself from falling apart. Never had she suspected going back home would be as difficult as it was proving to be.
"I'm sad to be leaving, honestly," Tina finally admitted. "But I need to get back to MACUSA and to my sister."
Louise perked up and snapped her fingers as if she had suddenly remembered something.
"Oo, dat reminds me. I was 'aving a chat wit Thaddeus last night, an' we wanted ta offer our 'ome ta yer sister an' her fiancé."
Tina blinked twice and her brow hoisted high on her forehead in question, not entirely sure she was hearing Louise correctly.
"Da laws in America 'ave ya worried, an' yer worrin' is causin' Newton ta worry, doh he won' say it out right." Louise calmly sipped her morning brew before saying more. "I doubt MACUSA will respectfully 'onor yer sister's union, but in dis country she could 'ave a ceremony without 'aving ta 'ide it."
A furrow grew between Tina's brows as she worked slowly through the woman's proposal, gnawing her bottom lip. "Louise, are you saying that you would let Queenie get married here? At Featherbeak?"
The Irish woman shrugged. "Well, the lass wouldn't 'ave ta get married 'ere, specifically. Dare's plenty of lovely places all o're England. But, yeah, 'ere is perfectly fine. All ya can stay 'ere too. Dis old 'ouse was meant for large families." Louise waved her hand about dismissively. "Just think about it? Might 'elp wit some of dat stress."
Tina wanted to lunge forward and hug her. She knew it would be a long shot getting everyone to England, but the invitation alone was enough to bring a smile to Tina's face.
"I'll run the idea by Jacob and Queenie. It's up to them."
"Of course." Louise nodded.
"I can write to you when they decide?" Tina offered, and she had to wonder if it was to simply resolve the question or that she didn't want to lose touch with Louise.
"Oh, I'd love that," the woman grinned.
Louise's exuberance filled the room with a warmth akin to the one Newt brought to the bleak space. Tina let her arms fall to her sides once again, no longer feeling the need to keep herself together.
"Well." Louise stood up straighter, swiping a tangle of red ringlets from her face. "I 'ope you'll 'ave time ta join Thaddeus, Newton an' I for brunch before ya go?"
Oh, I hope so too – "What time?" She wrung her fingers nervously.
"Ten o'clock sharp."
Tina sighed heavily with relief. "My pass is good from eleven thirty to noon. I should have enough time."
"Good!" Louise looked pleased. "An, wit dat I shall make my leave. I've got another paddock full of 'ungry 'ippogriffs ta tend to."
She ambled away, her curls bouncing with every step, starkly contrasted against the dull gray hue of her sweater. Just as she reached the door, Louise threw a glance over her shoulder. "Newton is probably up seein' ta 'is own beasts. I'm sure 'e would enjoy an extra 'and." She winked, and the tone in her voice was far from subtle. Tina was smart enough to know she was making more than a friendly suggestion, and assured the woman that she would go help Newt.
Once Louise had disappeared out into the hall, Tina seized her mug of coffee and planted herself next to the window. The drink was lukewarm and slightly unpleasant to the taste, nevertheless, she drank it for the sake of being polite. She watched the rain streak down the windowpane as she took hesitant sips, steadily working herself up to seeing Newt again. Her heart was swelling at the thought of seeing those eyes and that wild head of hair, while her mind tried its best to remain neutral.
Tina took one final sip and eagerly ventured across the hall, disposing of the empty cup on the bedside table. Immediately she was greeted with the warm scent of him. The rich aroma carried through the air as if on a breeze, swirling around her; pleasantly making Tina's heart flutter from the sensations the smell aroused. His room was empty and obscurely illuminated by only the gray light from outside. After a quick look around she found his case at the foot of his bed, lying open as if to encourage her inside his world.
Tina didn't linger. She easily maneuvered down the narrow steps, abandoning the bottom rung to land in Newt's work shed with an enthusiastic hop. The interior was unchanged from her last visit months ago; books and baubles were still seemingly strewn about in a heedless manner, though Tina knew – even if she couldn't see it – that everything was just where he wanted it.
She soon heard his voice, muffled by both distance and the walls around her. Never had a sound provoked so much joy to course through her, and Tina could not stifle her eagerness with the simplicity of a smile. Her steps around the clutter of his shack were precise and urgent – desperate to be near him. Tina let the radiant sound of his voice guide her through the otherworldly plane of his case. He was talking to someone – or something – she reminded herself with a small chuckle. Newt's tendency to talk with his creatures was one of his idiosyncrasies she adored.
When Tina discovered him, he was by the Bowtruckle tree and he wasn't alone. A boy who looked no older than twelve with a head of flaming hair stood next to the tree, covered with the tiny stick like creatures. He and Newt were both laughing as the Magizoologist carefully picked them off and placed the green beasts back onto their tree.
Tina stood by with a smile that pressed her cheek into a dimple and watched the entire spectacle fondly. Pickett was nestled in Newt's hair, presumably orchestrating the whole predicament with an array of stern sounding chirps and shakes of his leafy sprouts.
"No," she heard Newt chortle to the beast in his hair. "They weren't trying to poke Tom's eyes out…" He gently pulled two more Bowtruckles from the boy and let the creatures scale his arm up to a nearby branch. The beast on his head was the first to take notice of Tina. Pickett yanked a curl atop Newt's head with an excited chitter and a point of his twiggy finger.
"Ouch! What was that f—" Newt spun lithely on his heel while casting a confused look around, which instantly became a delighted smile the second his eyes met hers. "Tina!" He sounded pleased to see her. That's good.
"The case was open…" she shrugged, stepping closer to the both of them.
"Yes. I'm so glad you came down." His green eyes were shimmering olive in the hazy sun cascading from the Erumpent enclosure, and the dense rays painted his creamy skin a soft gold that drew attention to the freckles dotting his cheeks. She loved the way he glowed around his creatures – he beamed more radiant than the sun could ever wish to. He had her locked in his gaze, smile firm and creasing the corner of his eyes with delicate laughter lines. That's where she wanted to stay; subject to his grin and enveloped in the magical world of his case, but the boy tugged on Newt's shirt sleeve and the entrancing gaze was broken.
"Oh, Tina." Newt put his arm around the boy's shoulder, looking as though he had forgotten he was there. "This is my cousin, Thomas McAlister."
"'Ello, Tina." The boy said with a clear Irish accent.
She smiled at Thomas, finding an uncanny resemblance between Newt and his young cousin; they looked more like brothers than Theseus and he did.
"Tom, this is my friend, Tina Goldstein."
Friend?
Abruptly, Tina felt her heart sink as the wave of thoughts she had been trying to snuff out all morning took hold of her.
Friends…
She was his friend, but after their kiss, the word filled her with more dread than joy. Friends did not gaze longingly at one another, friends didn't sneak away to be alone together, and friends certainly did not kiss each other under starlight.
In the breath of a moment, Tina felt discouraged and utterly confused. Did he not remember? Had he had that much to drink at dinner?
The notion that their kiss was nothing more than an alcohol induced lapse in judgment made Tina feel physically ill. Yet, all she could recall was how he'd seemed to be in his right mind, so determined. Did I drink too much? She couldn't remember. Did I come onto him?
Tina gnawed her bottom lip hard enough for the skin to turn an alarming shade of red.
"It's nice ta meet ya." The boy said with an outstretched hand.
Newt remained oblivious to the forlorn expression playing on Tina's face; neither had he noticed her wilted posture. She was glad for that, and quickly remedied it by squaring her shoulders and throwing on an indifferent façade as she shook Thomas' hand.
"Tom has been begging to come down here since he arrived Thursday," Newt grinned fondly at the boy and ruffled his hair.
"I've read Newt's book three times!" Tom declared happily. "I wan' ta be like 'im after I get out of 'ogwarts."
Tina mustered a smile for the boy's sake and nodded.
"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Thomas." Her tone gave her away slightly and it prompted Newt's smile to fade when he looked at her. Tina wanted to ask him if it had all been, on some degree, a mistake. However she found it was far easier to rebuild the wall around her heart, and bring it up when the topic no longer threatened her with tears.
Newt's eyes were still on her, searching her carefully. It was a gaze so opposite of the way he had drank her in the night before it left Tina feeling cold, and it made her heart ache. Newt had only ever made her feel warm, and suddenly she felt tears brewing behind her eyes.
Pull yourself together!
Tina swallowed thickly and plastered on another false grin to her lips.
"Do you have a favorite creature?" she asked the boy, finding it far easier to talk to Tom than to Newt presently. Even her tone sounded more believable, not focusing on the Magizoologist.
"Bowtruckles!" Thomas said without need of thought. "I want ta 'old Pickett but 'e won' get outta Newt's 'air!"
Pickett chirped defensively from his perch atop his caretakers head and it brought a faint chuckle out of Newt's pursed lips.
"Pickett, I'm afraid, has some attachment issues." He chanced a smiling glance to Tina, trying to decipher her muddled demeanor as best he could. Her bodylines were tensed, as if she was trying to hold herself together, and her brows were furrowed despite the smile on her lips.
When she made a point of not meeting his glance, he cleared his throat to cut the building tension.
"We should probably get topside. You'll be leaving soon Tom, and I suspect your parents would not be happy leaving you down here. I've also promised my mother I'd attend brunch." Newt looked at Tina when he continued. "Will you have time to join us?"
In that moment, his eyes felt warm again, when she risked a look into them, and it put her heart at ease somewhat. "Yes," was all she could manage though, still too much in her own head to say more.
Thomas said a good-bye to the tree of Bowtruckles, including Pickett – whom Newt tucked inside the breast pocket of the blue waistcoat he wore. As he shepherded them both into his hut, Tina couldn't help but notice the light touch of Newt's hand on the small of her back. There was something profound in the feeling of his hand on her, and she was struggling to keep those feelings from stirring in her again – you're just friends, Tina – she reminded herself - her heart was getting the best of her. Tina had never been more confused and frustrated with herself. She was not the type of girl to fall head over heels for a man. Rarely had she risked letting a man into her heart in that sort of manner – once or twice, long before she had become an Auror – it always ended leaving her with an empty feeling that took entirely too much time to go away.
Tina would settle for being Newt's friend if that was all he wanted, even if her heart was wanting more.
A/N: Only one more chapter and an epilogue. Thanks for waiting, I know that it took a while to get this posted. I've got the next 3 or 4 parts of this series in the works, included a deleted scene from this which will be Newt at Theseus' Stag party! I'm having lots of fun with drunk!Newt! It would be awesome if you'd leave me a comment. They are like candy for writers :)
This originally started out as a 3 chapter story, but the chapters are so long, I'm gonna split them into shorter chapters to buy myself some time to finish this story as a whole.
You can follow me on Tumblr fandom-non-sense
that's where I post progress and links to my fics if you guys are interested.
Also HUGE thank you and shout out to my beta onebethatatime and katiehavok. They are wonderful and I owe them both so much for making these chapters readable.