Chapter 2 – Night Feeds.

Judith had started grumbling about five minutes before she let out a scream of hunger and impatience. Carol smiled to herself. The girl took after Lori, definitely. "Ok, ok, I'm coming," soothed Carol as she roused herself from her bunk to find the baby's bottle. She should have checked the time on the old clock face in her pocket but it didn't matter. Judith wanted milk every four hours on the hour.

So, by Carol's calculations, it was definitely 4am. She smiled in the darkness. "C'mon, she who must be fed. Before you wake the whole damned place." She lifted Judith from the travel cot Daryl and Sasha had found on a run last week. The baby was only eight weeks old but it felt like she had been with them from the start. They had a rota, to help Rick out with night feeds. He was not coping as well as anybody hoped after everything.

The council (she felt a little out of her depth, being a part of that; making decisions, even shared ones were not something she was used to. Ed had damn near thought for her most of the time before) had discussed that perhaps taking the pressure off Rick in regards to Judith might help. It didn't seem to be. Half the time, he was off in the woods muttering to himself, the other half he was tending his crops.

She could completely understand his grief. Although she was glad Ed died, she still felt the gaping hole of loss in regards to Sophia. Her beautiful girl, whom she'd once held and fed in the darkness, who she'd rocked to sleep, fussed over. Wondered what sort of woman she'd have become. She had been determined that her girl would be independent, go to college and never, ever rely on a man for anything. Ed had constantly told her how unattractive she was, how stupid, needy and worthless, but she was relieved that he refrained from saying such things to his daughter. He had mostly just plain ignored the girl, or snapped at her occasionally. He had begun taking more notice of Sophia when she started to mature and her body began to change.

So, Carol had messed up more often on purpose, stomped on the eggshells so to speak. If Ed got to lash out at her more, maybe he'd get his kicks enough to leave Sophia alone. When the world ended, Carol had tried to convinced herself Ed would change. He'd realise what he had to lose and he'd stop looking at his maturing daughter in an unacceptable way. The impending apocalypse seemed to enrage him more. Go figure.

Carol smiled again in the darkness. She knew the others at that camp thought she was weak and pathetic, but she also knew there was no way on this earth she'd have ever let that man hurt her little girl. By the time Rick Grimes miraculously found Lori and Carl she had been mentally running through plans to somehow escape Ed's grasp. She hadn't figured it out much, there was always a flaw in her rudimentary plans, but she felt the dead coming back to life had shifted the balance of power in her favour. He had no fancy house to hold over her, money counted for nothing, nor did expensive cars; there were no bars for him to go drink in with his buddies, eyeing up women. No stories to tell of how many beautiful women had thrown themselves at him, the tales he told while pinning her down on the bed, as though that would make her compliant and more worn down. She didn't care about that of course, any woman interested in him that way was welcome to him. He'd long since destroyed any feeling of love she had. She'd often prayed he'd run off with some dumb bitch and leave her in peace. In the end, fate stepped in. He had his face chewed off by a Walker after taking a beating in front of a group of women, no less, from Shane.

She remembered taking that pick- axe and even though tears fell, they were ones of fury and relief as she drove the demons from her head out, down her arm, across the handle and into that asshole's skull. Yes, he got what he deserved. She hoped he was burning in hell.

Judith had drained the bottle, so she stood, manoeuvred the slumbering baby to her shoulder and placed it on the bookcase beside the wash basin. The bundle on her shoulder let out a belch of satisfaction. She almost chuckled, that girl was determined to wake somebody up but she lowered her gently back into the cot.

Carol debated whether to try to get more sleep, she wasn't on breakfasts in the morning and Beth was scheduled on for baby day duty at 7:30am. She shivered slightly, it was mid September and there was a chill in the air, especially when standing barefoot on this concrete floor. She wrapped her arms around herself. She should ask somebody to pick her up some flannel nightwear on their next run. This man's football jersey, although roomy and covering her down to her thighs, wasn't going to be ideal on cold winter nights. Of course, this winter would be much more comfortable than the one they spent on the road after the fall of the farm. Nothing could be as bad as that, she thought as she climbed back into her bunk. Although it did have the odd perk, those freezing nights when Daryl had voluntarily wrapped himself around her in a shared sleeping bag.

Judith stirred and Carol cringed.

She knew babies should learn to sleep through a fright train passing by their bed, but she instinctively remembered her utter desperation she felt when Sophia, who had been a terrible sleeper and a frequent crier, wouldn't settle and Ed found it so insufferable, he crashed on his brother's couch until she was older. Even after that, he had an even shorter than usual fuse when it came to what he called "that noise". Old habits die hard, Carol thought. She could hear someone moving around upstairs on the landing; she didn't need to look to know who it would be. She stood, slipped her bare feet into a pair of running shoes Maggie had given her after a scavenging trip (did she look like a runner, she'd wondered at the time) and headed out of her cell with her kerosene lamp on low.

And there he was, pacing.

Again.