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Chapter 6

Cassidy's POV

Memories are what have gotten me through the past 6 years, memories and destructive habits.

Sherly had to go away for a few days for work, he tried to convince me to go but I think a few days for both of us to process and consider our relationship will be good for us.

I'm fingering through the few scrapbooks I was able to get through before I started committing myself more thoroughly in my job with Myc.

Pictures bring back so many fond memories. Some even I had forgotten in the whirlwind of my life.

Sherl just arrived home from the grocery store and I surprised him with a flash picture as soon as he waltzed in the door.

His hair windblown, cheeks rosy, eyes wide and glassy from the wind in his face and the surprise of the flash.

He looks so handsome I can't help but kiss him, he's surprised but what man would say no to a kiss from his beautiful girlfriend?

Of course on kiss isn't enough, until he drops the bag with the eggs. We look at the egg on the floor, look at each other then burst into hysterical giggles at the ridiculous situation.

Cleaning up the egg was disgusting at the time but the domesticity and silliness of the situation sweetens the memory and brings a smile to my face and a flutter in my stomach.

Our first time like most was messy and awkward, but the sheer enthusiasm made up for it.

His gangly arms and sharp elbows are everywhere he's kissing me like a hungry wild animal and rutting himself against my belly as though his cock is parched and my body is his water. He's desperate and it's so fucking hot.

He's desperate for me, not any other slut who tries to fuck him, me, his girlfriend whom he loves and would do anything for, and the thought that he wants me is a bigger turn on than anything else.

It's awkward and over very quickly, I don't cum but the sheer pride on his face makes up for it all, I'm glad we did it and hopefully with practice we will be more productive in the Cassidy area.

I sigh, practice makes perfect is exactly the rational. It's extremely true.

We are at some new club that opened up, we are both dressed to the nines and sipping on our drinks, we are planning to take a cab home and have wicked drunk sex.

The buzz between us is obvious to our little group of friends who had come with us and had to sit through us eye fucking each other all night.

I was wandering off to the little girls room where I had to go down a little strip of hallway to get to it, as I turned to the hallway and walked two steps towards the women's, I felt an arm wrap around my middle and push me past the washrooms and into a dark alcove at the end of the hallway.

If I didn't recognize the smell and the feel of my gorgeous boyfriend behind me I may have panicked. Sherlock proceeded to grab my thighs and wrap my around him, his eyes looked wild and dangerous.

He growled, bit my neck and simultaneously put his hand over my mouth to muffle the loud groan that flew out at the violent move.

His lips move to my ear and his voice is gravelly and angry

"The man at the bar has been looking at you all night, I bet he wants to fuck you, do you want that? Do you want him?" I shake my head desperately, needing him to touch me, kiss me, keep fucking talking I don't even care.

"Damn straight you don't fucking want him, you are mine, let's give him something to fucking look at."

As we left the little hallway we noticed our friend had left in our absence. That's fine, that makes it easier for us to go home and finish what Sherly had started. I could feel the man from the bars eyes land instantly on the bruises on my neck and thighs.

Sherlock was walking like he had won the fucking lottery with his arm around my shoulders, my panties in his pocket and his smirk that had taken them off on his face full fledge as he turned his head and winked at the man.

Yes the sex had gotten much better the more practice and research we did. Even through the harsh fuckings and the violent possessiveness we showed we always had sweet moments and I knew he loved me, he showed me every day, even when I had started my job with Myc, always with loving texts or with just random as fuck pictures or spontaneous Skype dates, but it was always pure heaven coming home to him.

I had just come home from a long 2 week trip away from home for a fucking mission in South Africa, it was fucking useless and I could have been done in 4 days but the fucker said "Patience Cass, we need to follow the plan" Fuck the plan! I'm tired and I just want food, a kiss and a cuddle in bed with Sherlock.

As I walk in the door I see the candles, hear the soft music and smell Sherlock's famous risotto and my exhaustion and irritation lifts.

I close the door and set my things down as quietly as I can and wander towards the kitchen. I lean against the door frame and watch Sheryl's back as he mixes and chops and tastes until I can't be away any longer.

I lay my hands just under his shoulder blades and slowly rub them up to the top of his shoulder blades then back down his sides until I am lightly holding his hips, I press my body against his and he relaxes into me and we sit there silently just reveling in the reuniting of us. After a few quiet moments he flips the stove off and turns, one hand going instantly into my hair and the other winding around my waist, pulling me flush against him as he kisses me deeply and slowly, taking control of my mouth and worshiping it, making me melt and submit to his slow seduction.

After a few moments he pulls away just enough so our lips are just brushing one another and he whispers "welcome home love" In that soft velvety baritone I have come to crave.

The words and the sweet homecoming makes my heart clench and tears prick my eyes and run down my face.

Without missing a beat he kisses them away one by one and whispers that he missed me too.

That was the first time I actually regretted my job, lying to him and being away. That was when I started hating myself for what I was doing. I had wanted out then.

I stormed into Mycroft's office with a solid determination. The minute he sees the look on my face he stands and utters a single word that would start the biggest screaming match we've ever had.

"No."

The things we yelled after included every insult we could come up with, every argument and counter argument possible until we were both hoarse and red in the face, barley able to look at one another.

"You can't get out, it's too late. If you leave you will both be in danger, do you want that? Sherlock could be targeted."

I hate him, I can't even look at him.

"You did this, you put the both of us in this fucking position. You fucking liar. I hate you and I hope you burn in fucking hell." I stormed out ignoring the hurt and the guilt on his face. Fuck him.

Sherlock didn't understand what happened, Myc and I were fine until one day we just weren't, we wouldn't attend the same family functions and the one time we tried everyone was so uncomfortable they stopped inviting us to the same ones.

Every time he tried to question it I would change the subject and he started asking about it less and less. Until he stopped. Things between Mycroft and I did not get better until it was the news of my fake suicide, the truce we formed was created in a desperate situation, we would never be okay, But at least we had that.

Like normal people we fought, unlike normal people he proposed in the middle of one.

"I don't fucking understand why you have to leave all the time, I don't understand what is going on! Just tell me! Are you in danger!? Obviously you are because you have a tendency to come back fucking injured or fucking exhausted! I can't help you if you don't tell me!" Sherlock is red and angry and upset and it's all my fault. The guilt threatens to suffocate me.

"I-I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry. Please just trust me." I'm begging him to let it go, to understand. Tears are steadily running down my face as I try to make him understand that I just can't.

He pulls me into his arms and I can hear his little sniffles that give away his own tears.

"I cant lose you Cass, you are everything. How will I know if you get hurt? I can't handle it."

Those four words strike pure mind-numbing terror into my heart. It feels like I'm going into an anxiety attack and I can't stop the words from pouring out in panicked bursts of breathe.

"Please baby, no please, I love you, don't leave me, don't lose me, don't let me please I love you I love you don't do this I can't lose you, don't let me go." I'm practically hyperventilating and he swiftly hugs me harder and tries to calm me.

"Baby no, calm down, I'm sorry that's not what I meant!" He's suddenly grabbing me. His lips are moving over mine frantically, he's grabbing my hand but I'm too focused on his mouth and the words to notice the ring he slips onto my left hand. By the time I notice he is already talking and has gotten through half the speak, I miss all of it and I don't start listening I just jump him, kissing him and crying, wrapping myself around him and saying yes as many times as I can.

He finally sighs, frustrated and puts his hand over my mouth, I look at him confused. Did I misinterpret?

He's muttering and I can't tell if it's at me or to himself. "Fucking crazy, doesn't even let me get the damn words out."

He looks at me and his whole face and stance relaxes.

"Now, may I ask you without you going all psychotic on me?"

I shake my head no and he chuckles at me and looks at me with amused eyes shining with happiness.

"Cassidy, Will you marry me?"

We did it two months later with only close friends and family. It was beautiful and awkward and perfect, which is exactly how I would describe our whole relationship.

I look at the clock on the wall and realize that Mary will be over in a little under an hour, it's the first time we have seen one another since before the whole Cassidy was actually 'dead' fiasco.

I rush to put away all the albums and get ready. By the time the doorbell goes I am showered and dressed, and nervous as fuck. She's my only actually female friend and I hope she won't smack me for lying to her.

My worries vanish as I open the door to Mary smirking at me with mirth in her eyes.

"Hullo Mrs. Holmes"

Thanks for reading you guys! Review! Hope you enjoyed some of the memories of their relationship