Always There

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Getting really bored of putting this up here now – it's not like you don't know it! Here we go anyway. I own none of these characters, but am grateful to JE for inventing them for us to play with. Unlike JE, I am not making any money from them

A/N: Hi All! As ever, your lovely reviews and PMs have been the driving force in getting this chapter out – it fought me all the way! I even managed to get back to you all this time too – go me! I'm on holiday for a couple of weeks so hopefully you won't have to wait too long for an update this time. I'm going to try and get it finished whilst I'm off so fingers crossed, I can post regularly. Thanks again and hope you all enjoy!

Words

Ranger let the door click softly shut and leaned against it, letting out a controlled breath. He'd made the effort to get back to Trenton as soon as possible from Washington as he didn't want to leave Steph any longer than he absolutely had to. Edna's turn for the worse was a sign of things to come and he really wanted to be there for his Babe.

He'd entered the room silently, assuming that both Edna and Steph would be asleep. Instead he'd found Steph wide awake and pacing - and declaring how much she loved him. At last, she'd realised why he'd been so hesitant. Well, most of the reasons why anyway, but certainly the bouncing between him and Morelli was more than a man could take; no-one wanted to be second best or a 'fill in'. And he certainly had more self respect than that.

As much as he wanted to go in to the room he had to collect himself for a moment. Hearing Steph say those things was huge and if he were honest, threw him a little. What would she do now? Would she say something? He chuckled to himself. Unlikely. Steph was almost as bad as he was about opening up emotionally. But if she did, what would he say? He thought back to that first night in the cafeteria with MA and Morelli. What had they said then? Any relationship he had with Steph would be defined by what they wanted, not what the Burg or their families or friends dictated. That was the key.

The simple fact was that he loved her, was in love with her. And as much as he was worried about his lifestyle, past and present, impacting on her, he couldn't help himself. This woman consumed him. She was his first thought in the morning and his last thought at night. She accepted him, didn't make demands on him and didn't try to change him. In the weeks since Edna's illness the more time they spent together, the more able he was to be himself with Steph. She didn't see Batman anymore, she saw him, wanted him. She would never understand how she grounded him, how looking at the world through her eyes enabled him to see the positive things in life, in people, and after what seemed like a lifetime of dealing with the dregs of humanity, that was as near a miracle as he thought possible.

Taking a deep breath, he stood up and went towards the door. He wasn't going to let this go, he couldn't. All he had to do was figure out what exactly he was going to do.

He had only just entered the room when Steph came flying at him. He caught her easily and held her close, nuzzling into her hair.

"I didn't think you'd be back for days," she whispered.

"I came back as soon as I could. I didn't want to you to be alone in this Steph."

She hugged him tightly, more so than ever before. Had he not heard her earlier, he would have thought it was just the worry she had for Edna, but now, now he knew that wasn't the case.

"How she doing?" he asked as Steph finally pulled away.

"Better – I think, but it's all relative. Dr Olsen did say something about her coming home at the weekend, but that she'd have to have very regular contact with him. Bobby said he'd be around – that's ok isn't it Ranger?"

It was his turn to squeeze her tightly. "Of course Babe. Bobby's still doing his usual RangeMan duties, so what he chooses to do in his own time is up to him – although we do have Binkie ready to cover if Bobby's needed here."

She caught his meaning and reached up and kissed him when a raspy, but amused voice interrupted them.

"Hey you two, go get a room!"

They broke away from each other, smiling.

"Good to see you getting back to normal Edna," said Ranger.

Edna smiled at him and then turned her gaze towards her grand daughter.

"Stephie, do you think you could sneak me in a hot chocolate from the nurses' station? Anne usually brings me one in about this time, but I think she's off tonight."

Steph smiled. Anne had been with grandma from day one and the two of them had a real bond going.

"Sure grandma, won't be a minute."

As she left, Edna motioned for Ranger to come over to her. She cut straight to the chase.

"I know you were in here, I know you heard her." She looked at Ranger straight on. "Now, what are you going to do about it?"

Ranger had slammed his blank face down the millisecond Edna had started speaking. But watching her now, seeing the sincerity in her lined face, he did his best to let the well practiced mask drop.

"I'm going to talk to her – it's just a question of timing…" he started.

"Timing my ass!" interrupted Edna. "You two have been dancing around each other for years. She loves you and I know you love her – any fool can see that. Don't waste any more time denying yourselves – trust me it isn't worth it."

She began to speak again but a cough got in the way. Ranger helped her with some water and she held on to his arm, keeping him close.

"You deserve to be happy and so does she, but she's too scared of losing you to make the first move, so you'll have to man up. It's in your hands."

Ranger nodded and replaced the glass on the over bed table. They heard Steph coming back towards the room, thanking one of the nurses for the drink.

"Oh and Ranger?" whispered Edna hurriedly, "you blow this and I'll come back and haunt you!"

Ranger's lips began to tip. "Understood."

ooOoo

Steph had slept well and was enjoying one of Ella's famous brunches when her cell 'phone rang.

Ranger had been called out almost as soon as they had arrived back from the hospital even though he'd only just gotten back. There must have been a new moon or something last night because it had been burglary central and the RangeMen patrols were stretched. Steph had volunteered to help and Tank had put her on to reception, fielding calls and co-ordinating the teams, in order to free up another man. Ella and Luis had helped too, to free more men. She had finally gone to bed around two thirty and Ranger an hour or so later.

She had woken up starving and Ranger had told her not to wait while he grabbed a quick shower.

Steph reached over for her 'phone and checked the caller ID. Val. She thought about letting it go to voicemail but decided against it. If she had learned anything in the past weeks it was that ignoring something didn't make it go away.

"Hey Val," she answered brightly.

"Hey Steph. Um, listen, I've had an idea about something, but I thought I should run it past you first, you know, to see if you thought it was ok."

Steph looked at the 'phone as though she'd heard an alien voice. Ranger walked in, took one look at her and raised an eyebrow in question. She mouthed VAL at him.

"Um, ok, shoot."

"Well I was thinking that maybe grandma might like an afternoon tea type of thing. You know, where we could invite all her old friends and neighbours over to…to…well you know.."

"Say goodbye?" said Steph softly.

"Yeah, something like that. I mean she told me that she had chosen to go to a hospice and that it would probably be soon. I'm not going to pretend to understand Steph, because I don't, I don't understand why she wouldn't want to be at home where we can all be around her, but I respect her wishes. So I thought…" She took a deep breath and Steph could hear her willing her tears down. "Actually, I don't know what I was thinking, it's a dumb idea."

"It's a great idea Val, she'd love it," said Steph quietly.

"Really? You think so?"

"Are you kidding? Being the centre of attention, all her friends around her. I can see her now, holding court!"

Val laughed. "I'm sorry Steph," she started, suddenly serious. "I know I blew up at you after you took that trip, but I was still reeling at the news and all I could see was that you were taking her away. If I'm honest I felt left out. I mean I know grandma loves me, I do, but you and her….well, you always got on so well and I suppose I felt a little left on the sidelines. It was my way of dealing I guess."

Steph didn't know what to say. She had no idea that Val had felt like that and it tore at her that she had.

"Val, you know I would never do that deliberately, but you're right, I didn't think, didn't stop to consider how that trip would look from your point of view. Thing is, I didn't plan it and just got caught up in it. I know that's not an excuse but it is the truth – and the best I can do at the moment. I'll try not to let that happen again, I promise."

Steph felt Ranger's hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. She looked up into his warm brown eyes and understood what he was saying. He was proud of her, proud that she hadn't backed down but had been open and honest. She hadn't run away from this.

There was a short silence as both women tried to compose themselves.

"So," started Steph, her voice as perky as she could make it, "what's the plan?"

Ranger watched and listened carefully as Steph chatted animatedly with her sister, planning an afternoon 'open house' tea for the weekend that Edna was home. She had come so far. From wanting to run away and hide in Denial Land, to this, sitting comfortably in their – when had he started thinking of it as their? – apartment, making plans with her sister for an afternoon tea for family and friends, that was ostensibly a final farewell to her much loved grandmother. What she was doing still hadn't quite hit her yet – but it would and he'd be there to help her through it.

Yes, she had changed and was so damned proud of her. She was growing up. Sure there were some rough times ahead, but he knew she would get through them – and now he just had to make sure that she knew he would be there for her, not just now, but way into the future as well, if she'd let him.

Once she had finished her 'phone call, she and Ranger finished a long, lazy breakfast and began to clear up. As she did, she began to tell him about Val's plans and then all the things that had happened while he was away. It was when she was telling him about Edna's decision to go to a hospice and the reasoning behind it, that realisation dawned. She turned around and leaned heavily against the counter.

"Oh god, Ranger, she's really going to die isn't she? And soon?"

"Yeah Babe, she is," he answered simply.

There were no tears, but he could see the internal battle, acceptance and understanding finally winning over denial and the need to run. He moved quickly to steady her as her body wobbled involuntarily.

"What am I going to do without her Ranger?" she said quietly.

"It'll be hard at first Babe, it will. But in time, it will get better. And you've got friends, family, people around you who love you." He paused before adding, "and you've got me."

Steph was silent for what felt like forever.

"Do I?" she started, her voice so small he had to strain to hear it. "Do I really?"

He pulled her close and held her tight.

"Always Steph. Always."

He gently pushed her away and tilted her chin so that he could make eye contact. He needed for her to see him. No blank face, no masked, dead eyes, but him, Carlos.

"I love you Steph. No qualifiers, no smart additions, just the plain fact. I. Love. You. I know the timing sucks and I'm not saying this to make you feel better, I'm not that cruel, but Babe, we don't know what life is going to throw at us and I don't want to waste any more time. God we're grown adults who have been acting like high school kids. No more. Stephanie Plum I love you."

Steph looked at him wide eyed but he could see the hesitation there too.

"What about your love only coming without a ring and with a condom?" There was no accusation in her voice, but he knew it was a fair question.

"Yes, I know I said that and I can tell you why. Because it was true. Babe, what would you have done if I'd have suddenly talked about marriage and babies?"

She had no answer.

"Exactly," he continued, "you'd have run for the hills. How many times had you clearly stated that you had no interest in marrying again or having kids. Hell, isn't that why you never married Morelli – well one of the reasons?"

He was right. She nodded.

"But you don't 'do' relationships," she added.

Ranger scraped his hands through his hair.

"That's true – right up until the point where I realised I was already in one. Tank and Lester both helped me get my head out of my ass on that one. Then Hector came back and told me that the word on the street was that you were my woman and that gave you a certain amount of protection. When I asked him who started that rumour, he said that he had. Then he challenged me to tell him it wasn't true. I couldn't."

Steph's head popped up.

"Wasn't I with Joe then though?"

He smiled. "Semantics."

"And what about keeping me safe from all the bad guys you go after?"

"I think after Scrog that became a moot point don't you? I'm not going to lie to Stephanie, I fought with my attraction to you for a long time. I told myself all this crap as an excuse, an excuse to not tell you how I felt. I have my reasons.."

"Joe," she interrupted, surprising him. "I get it, I do. I was always on/off with him. Why would you make a move if you thought I'd go straight back to him?"

She was gearing up to say something and he knew how hard it would be for her. But suddenly it didn't matter, it really didn't. And he'd heard it anyway – even if she would never know that.

He lifted her up on to the counter so she was more or less at eye level with him.

"Babe, listen to me. All that is in the past now. It's the future that matters. I'll tell you what I want. I want us to be together, be a proper couple who go on dates, go dancing, go to uncomfortable family dinners and be seen together. I don't care if the Burg talks about us and I want you to not care either. They have no control on how we choose to live our lives, or conduct our relationship – except for the control we give them and I'm giving them nothing - except a month or two to get over it and something else will come along that's far more interesting, it always does."

"You've no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say this, but Ranger do you mean that, really mean it? Because I couldn't deal if you changed you mind. So I have to know for sure. You, the badass Ranger Manoso, Batman, wants to be in a proper, grown up relationship with me?"

"No," he said firmly, watching her tense. "Carlos wants to be in a proper, grown up relationship with you. You've seen him Babe, you know him. Yes you see the personas he has to play and maybe the lines are blurred. But equally, I don't want the Bombshell Bounty Hunter, I want you Steph. We can do this Babe, and it'll be good, I know it."

She looked in to his eyes for the longest time. Then suddenly she launched herself at him.

"I love you Carlos Manoso and I want our Someday."

"Well Someday starts right here Babe."