Where Did I Go Wrong?

Anders ushered her into their room, sitting her down on the edge of the bed. She blankly stared ahead of her, blinking back tears. He sat next to her, tucking her hair behind her ear and watching her, waiting for a reaction. He was worried; she hadn't said a thing the entire way home from the foundry in Lowtown, and her argument with Gamlen didn't help the situation.

Olivia swallowed hard, her brows furrowing. "Where did I go wrong?" she asked quietly, her voice hoarse. "I-I don't understand… I've been trying to help this city since I got here. I got the gangs off the streets, I help you with the clinic, I tried to help Emeric… but it didn't matter…" She choked back a sob, turning her gaze to him. "Gamlen is right. It's my fault. I-I let her down. I didn't try hard enough to save her…"

"She wouldn't want you to blame yourself," Anders said, and she rolled her eyes, sniffling. A few tears dripped down her cheeks and she angrily wiped then away, huffing and shaking her head.

"You don't know my mother."

"No. And I'm sorry I never will," he said softly. Olivia looked to the floor, clenching the bedcovers as she tried not to cry. He placed his fingers under her chin, gently turning her head so she was looking at him again. "I'm here for you. Whatever you need."

She stared at him, her lower lip trembling, until she finally broke down. Anders pulled her into his arms, trying to comfort her as she wailed and cried, her chest heaving with every breath she took. He hated that she lost her mother this way, that he couldn't have done anything to save her. He wished he could take all her pain away, but all he could do was be there for her now.

She cried for what felt like hours, and he held her close, rubbing her back, stroking her hair, and whispering words of love to her. She was the one who usually comforted him, and he'd never even seen her cry before then. Olivia was always the strong one, the one who was there for everyone else… but she couldn't be there for her mother.

In time she calmed down, her cries turning into periodic sniffles and whimpers. She pulled her face from the crook of his neck, her eyes rimmed in red as she met his gaze. He started wiping the tears from her splotchy cheeks, brushing her wet hair out of her face.

"You're all I have left," she breathed, eyes boring into his.

"Carver—"

"Isn't here," she finished. "He's going to hate me anyway. First Bethany and now Mother…" Olivia sniffled and focused back on him, fixing him with a serious gaze. "Promise me you'll never leave me."

Anders didn't know what to say to her request. He couldn't promise her that, not when he knew he could eventually break that promise. The templars would find him one day, and even if they didn't, it was likely he would die in his mission to free mages.

"Olivia…"

She grasped his feathered pauldrons, staring up at him with wide eyes, lips trembling with the threat of crying again. "Anders, please," she begged. "Promise me."

His brows knit together as she waited for his answer. He didn't want to lie to her, but there was such desperation in her eyes, and he couldn't deny her. Not when she was like this.

"I promise," he said, and she instantly let out a breath of relief. She threw her arms around his neck and clung to him tightly.

"I love you. I love you so much," she whispered.

"I love you, too," Anders replied, not letting his voice betray the uneasiness he felt. He'd made a promise he couldn't keep. He could only pray that one day Olivia could forgive him for it.